Title: (2/3)

Way too generic, but since you named it because of the song you were listening to, I'll overlook that. If you're trying to grab readers though, it's not likely that they'll want to look at your story by looking at the title. 

Plot: (4/5)

For a one shot it was a pretty good plot. 

Characters: (7/10)

There's not much to say about the character's personality which is fine because one shots are limited in many aspects with characterization being one of them. The decision they made in order to be together was interesting and risky so points for that. 

Flow: (2/3)

Was pretty smooth for the most part but could be abrupt at some points for example, 3rd paragraph; this seemed a little out of place compared to the paragraphs after it. A smoother transition is needed.  

Grammar: (4/5)

I was very well able to understand your story, but the periods made the flow of sentences abrupt. More commas are needed in some areas if you want to make your sentences flow better.

Description/Summary[possibly Foreword]: (1/3)

I honestly have to say the summary is rather misleading. The overall story was more focused on their relationship after they were allowed to be together. 

Total points: (20/29) - about 70%

If you disagree with anything I've said, don't hesitate to PM me~!

Author: kiss_xander23

Read the story here