"My name is Kim Minseok.. And this man who we have gathered to remember the life of.. He's touched many souls."

"Somewhere out there, there's a little Sehun with a harder life than you."
That's what my mother would always say whenever I was a brat. Which was always.

I never understood why she told me this until I became a teenager. I was exposed to a lot more compared to what normal six or seven year olds were exposed to, so I matured quickly. People say it's good to mature quickly. Don't believe what they say. I had a group of five other people I called my friends and my second family, however I only met them in the beginning of high school. I went through primary school years always being the mature thinker - The smartass the kids would say as they kicked and screamed at me before throwing me into the school pool. I wasn't a smartass, though. I got average Bs for all my subjects with the occasional A or C. I never showed off like the more respected kids did. I only said answers when called upon by the teacher, I never called out like other kids did, though for some reason I wasn't respected like the others. Maturing at an early age.. Isn't as great as people say.

Mum and Dad were alright at the time. A few fights like all couples, nothing major. Dad was a bit of a joker and mum was laid back, so they usually only fought about things like dishes or house hold appliances. Once they even fought about who made the bed all messy. Of course, it was usually mum that was wrong. Mum was like the dad of the family. Dad was more of the mum. I've always thought that about them, which made me think hard about whether I was a mummy's boy or a daddy's boy.

When I was 13, I entered high school and met five stupid, crazy, funny dorks. They were the popular guys everyone loved. I'm pretty sure not many people disliked them. One of them was even a famous ulzzang - I was surprised I recognised him so easily from the internet. Usually ulzzangs use heavy photoshop on their pictures so I was expecting a less handsome version of him, however I was pleasantly surprised when I saw that he looked the exact same in real life. Luhan was his name. He'd been in Korea for a few years already by then.. I think five? He was four years older than me though - He started coming to our school the year I entered. I don't know why I bonded with him the best. Maybe because he was the oldest. Like I said, I'm not sure. He graduated high school at the end of my first year, and we hung out everyday after school unless I had soccer training or he had university lectures to go to. We were tight.

Jongin was my age - A few months older. He was an adorable little thing. Always made fun of for being so tanned, but no one actually meant it. He looked good with his tanned skin. It suited him real well. He liked it as well, though. You could tell he was confident with himself. The way he carried himself and respected himself was admirable. I think the only thing that made me cringe about him was his childishness. But I along with the rest of the group dealt with it. We wouldn't have our KkamJong any other way.

YiFan was scary at first but damn was he an idiot when I got to know him. He was always drawing things and giving them to the members. Almost like how a five year old gives a crap little art project they've created to their parents and their parents put on the high pitched, "Oh this is amazing! I'll keep it in my room!" There was this one time he carved his infamous unicorn drawing into a lunch table - It's still there to this day. I checked. He was one of the giants of the group - Towered over all of us except for the other giant. He's Chinese like Luhan, but he never told any of us which part of China he was from. Probably because we were too busy laughing at his stupidity to ever ask. He was fluent in English since he studied there for a while. He entered the school while I was in grade 9. He was in grade 11, and graduated the next year, leaving myself, Kai, Joonmyun and Chanyeol. Yifan might have been an idiot, but he was caring, gentle and kind hearted. He was the dad of the group.

Chanyeol was a year older. He was Kai's evil counterpart. If you have Chanyeol and Kai in two different rooms, you have a bronzed shy little boy and a giant guitar playing softie, however put them in one room and let them sit next to each other and you have two trouble makers who just can't be tamed. Chanyeol was the second giant. I say second not because Yifan is older, but because Yifan is about half a head taller. I was the third tallest in the group - By the time I was in grade 11, I was Chanyeol's height exactly.. But only two of the members of our group were there to see me grow in grade 11. Chanyeol liked to rap and was damn good at it. He was one hell of a guitar player, too. He played piano well but he said guitar felt right to him. He was the virus of the group. He smiled, laughed or cried, the rest of us would follow suit.

The reason why I leave Joonmyun until very last is because even though he and I weren't as tight as Luhan and I were, I respected him the most, though I didn't it show that much. He came out gay when I was in grade 10 and he was in grade 12. He held a group meeting after school so that the graduated members could come. We all gave him a massive group hug and respected him though. When we were all in high school, he wasn't really taken seriously by the group because we liked to . We all loved him though and he knew it. He was the mother of the group - He and Kris had a little thing. They got together when he graduated. Chanyeol graduated with Suho. All members of our group had been there for each and every members graduation..

Kai dropped out of school, knowing he wouldn't graduate. But surprisingly he built himself back up and went to tafe, then uni. So I graduated alone. That's right. None of the members came to my graduation.

Some were overseas and some just.. Didn't come. They all sent individual video messages to me to congratulate me but.. I couldn't help feeling as if I was the least important member of the group. Not even Luhan came. Luhan was invited to a party on my graduation night.

So he went to the party.

I celebrated with my mother and father, though. They were always there for me, at least.

I went to one of the S.K.Y universities and ended up becoming an internet ulzzang at the age of 19. People recognised me on the streets and I signed a lot of things. I was 21 when my fame became larger than a normal ulzzangs fame. I had offers from entertainment companies, fan meets that usually had over two hundred people filling out a whole place. I was eventually signed by SM entertainment when I signed the contract aged 22. I was an actor and a model, and my fan base only grew larger.

But as my fame grew, so did the hole in the friendship I had with the friends I once thought would always be there for me.

I made new friends, sure. I was friends with Soo Jung from f(X). Close friends. Though she didn't compare to what Luhan was. Nothing could replace my Xiao Lu. Nothing.

28 I was when the group contacted me. I had moved out of the modelling world by then. I did promos for companies and picture shoots for magazines, but only because I was a full time actor by then. A famous one.

"I hear you'll be in a movie!" Joonmyun said as he took a sip of his coffee. He hadn't aged a day. As I looked around the table, staring at the faces I used to know so well, I realised that none of them had really changed. Only in maturity.

"With Kyungsoo hyung?" Jongin asked, grinning from ear to ear. Jongin had met my costar in his university.

"Yeah," I said quietly. It was obvious I was bitter about the break of contact between the group and I. It was obvious I was still heart broken that no one - Not one person showed up to my graduation, like I had for every single one of theirs.

It hurt seeing them again. I remember the look of their faces when I stood and walked out. It wasn't the same anymore. The group wasn't the same.

I also remember the way Luhan had actually walked out with me. I remember his warm, brotherly arms wrapping around me as I cried.

That was the first time the members had seen me cry, and that's how they came to figure out why I was so different. Why I was being so cold towards them that day.

From that day our bond became stronger again - The members included me into the group again. I caught up with all the inside jokes and we all Skyped every night. Life was good. Better, I should say.

"Somewhere out there, there's a little Sehun with a harder life than you." Those words stuck with me even after mum and dad were gone. Dad was taken from me when I was 31. Heart attack. Mum was taken from me in the same year, three months after. We had a funeral for both of them. It was a lively one though. It's what mum and dad would have wanted.

"Crying only makes it harder for the soul to reach heaven, because they don't want to see you cry and decide to stay down here with you until your mourning stops," Uncle Oh Kyunghun said to me before I stood on the pedi stool for my eulogy. So remembering those words, I haven't cried over their deaths. I've celebrated their memories and how wonderful they were. Giving them an easy trip to heaven is the least I could do, for what they've done for me my whole life up until then.

"Beer is heaven for the soul while your soul is still on earth."

The wise, wise words of Kim Jongin. We all chipped in to buy ourselves a large apartment. The apartment was suitable for twelve, but there was only seven of us. Yeah that's right, seven. A new addition to our group was Kyungsoo - I believe I mentioned him earlier? He felt like he was intruding on our group since we have all known each other for more than half of our lives, but we accepted him regardless of how he felt about coming into the group. He was an amazing friend.

As Jongin popped open his third bottle of beer, Joonmyun got up from the couch and grunted quietly, mumbling, "Imma head to bed.."

"But it's only 20 minutes before New Years starts.." Jongin whined, looking up at his hyung.

Joonmyun's eyes flickered towards the clock and he puffed his cheeks out, "Come on hyung," Chanyeol pleaded, "We haven't had a New Years together since our high school sleepovers. And it's Kyungsoo's first New Years with us!"

Joonmyun smiled softly and nodded, sitting back down and snuggling into Yifan once more.

I was resting my head on Luhan's lap, my phone covering my face as I text a few of my colleagues a happy New Year. Everyones eyes were glued onto the screen in front of them, watching the New Years program that was on, waiting for the countdown.

Though there was one anxious member. It was Chanyeol. He had invited his best friend Baekhyun over to meet us and he hadn't arrived yet, "What if he doesn't make it in time? I don't want his first moments of 2020 to be alone!"

"He'll come," Joonmyun assured.

It was as if Joonmyun's words had triggered the door bell. The door bell rang only seconds after Joonmyun had said that, and Chanyeol ran to the door. Ten minutes before New Year countdowns began and Chanyeol slowly came back into the room with no one following behind him. We all looked up curiously, and our eyes met with his as he looked around the room. His eyes were filled with hurt, and so was his voice as he strained to speak, "He's gone.. Baekhyun he- He was stabbed outside the building and I-.. I.." Chanyeol gulped and clenched his fists as he ran towards the window in the lounge room that faced the main entrance. He looked down at the streets, seeing ambulances and police cars. I still remember it. The first time I've seen Chanyeol being struck by fear.. "I don't want his first moments of 2020 to be alone.." He whispered.

"Go with him to the hospital. Quick. Before the ambulance leaves," YiFan said holding Chanyeols coat out.

"But it's our first new year with Kyungso-"

"It would have been our first new year with Baekhyun too. Our First New Years all together can be next year," Kyungsoo said softly.

I watched Chanyeols scared face turn into a grateful one as he grabbed the coat from Yifans hands and ran out of the building.

He told us the next hour after New Years that Baekhyun was still conscious when they found him. It wasn't a major stab, only one in the arm. He also said that Baekhyun was really sorry for ruining our group New Years, but it wasn't like that. He didn't ruin anything. He didn't have control over what people did to others on New Years. It's not like he asked to be stabbed.

2020 was an eye opener for me..
"Somewhere out there, there's a little Sehun with a harder life than you."

I finally met the little Sehun that my mother always told me about.
He was homeless and he was hungry. I dropped a fifty dollar note into his hands when I saw him curled up near a mcdonalds, "Come on," I said, "Get up. Let's get you a big meal, mm?"

The small boy scurried into mcdonalds after me and I stood there next to him as he ordered what he wanted. He thanked me as we sat down with his enormous meal and he ate. That's when he told me his name was Sehun. He was 13 years younger than I was. He was still a young adult.

I'm 67 years old, now. Kris, Suho, Luhan and Kyungsoo have all passed. Now all that's left of us is Baekhyun, Chanyeol, Sehun, Kai and myself. Sehun is well off, thanks to me. He's got a job and is living with the five of us.

Over the years we've all realised how close we all are to joining our friends in heaven. We've all sorted our inheritance out. Since none of us have family, we've said to donate all our stuff to charity. I'd be an organ donor, but I'm too old to be, now.

We were prepared, but as we all passed away one by one, nothing prepared me for being alone. I haven't been this alone since I was in primary school. They're all gone now, and I'm next.. I expected Sehun to be the one last to go since he was the youngest but no.. Mother nature had made her decision.

Here I am sitting in my death bed, reliving my memories as my heart becomes weaker and weaker..
I have a young nurse named Minseok looking after me. He's a fantastic young man. I've told him to never let go of the people you have and to always cherish things..

Because..

Somewhere out there, there's a little Minseok with a harder life than than him..

"My name is Kim Minseok.. And this man who we have gathered to remember the life of.. He's touched many souls. This piece of paper that.. I have just read out to you all is the last thing he wrote before he passed away that night.. I grew attached to this man in the four weeks he was in the hospital with us. We both had something in common. We were both lonely. I wish I could have met his friends. His family. I wish I was apart of his group. I'm 25 and this man had shared all his knowledge with me. This man has shared all of his wisdom and thoughts on life. I feel as if.. Now.. I'm not alone, anymore, and though many of you gathered here see me as just a young nurse who took care of your beloved Oh Sehun.. I want you to know that I truly cared about this man and I wish to follow in his footsteps. We are here to celebrate his life that he has lived. Not to mourn. It's.. The least that I could do. The least we could do. He's done so much for me in the four weeks I knew him.

I will always be grateful for what I have because.. Like he'd always say, like his mother would always say, somewhere out there, there's a little Minseok with a harder life than you..

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to meet this man, lord.."