Song for you to listen to as you read :3 (Sorry if you don't like Jpop, but you might like this with the story~)

Note before you read:

I understand that some of you may possibly be offended by my content revolving around the idea of sensitive topics. My main purpose for writing this is so you guys that relate with the character I've written can learn from her. Just keep in mind I have no negative intentions when I write this and I'm not trying to imply anything about you.

Now, sit back and scroll!

Prologue

Pov: 1st person- You

          Sigh... I'm so pathetic. All I do is pity myself and sit around waiting for my prince charming to save me from everything. The funny part is that my prince charming actually happens to be several guys which would be in boy band SHINee which I love so much to the point I hate it, like I love their music and all, but my obsession with them has seriously impacted my life negatively. I have low self esteem and I feel depressed all the time which leads to low grades that my parents aren't particularly fond of almost no social life. Fun right?

          To add to that, I'm rather ugly. Since you don't know what I look like, I'll try and describe myself the best way possible. My hair is chocolate brown which is cool and all, but then my tanned skin ruins it. Then my face is rounder and bigger than I'd like it to be with pimples sprinkled everywhere! I'm also rather short; 5'2 which I guess is better than being really tall, but then again I'm not so sure because I often get mistaken for being younger than I am and that annoys me. Last but not least, I'm kinda chubby... Okay fine, not kinda chubby ,but hey, at least I'm not obese or anything. Regardless, that doesn't cut out the fact I really need to start improving my looks.

          Unfortunately, it's rather hard to. I never really have motivation towards achieving my goals in general because of laziness, and when I do it's temporary. If I could be like my friend Amy, I'd be truly be happy. She's pretty, smart, and everyone likes her. She's practically a real life Mary Sue and because of that, we get into a lot of fights as my envy gets to me at times. To be fair though, she can be brutally honest and blunt with me and this is an example:

          "Ugh! Amy!!! What do I do I'm getting fatter and fatter and it's so hard to do anything about it anymore!"

          "If you really want to get rid of that fat you will do it without any complaints."

          Does it really hurt to be encouraging? How would she feel if I did the same to her? Like seriously, not everyone is blessed with perfection like you are. I know she usually doesn't mean any harm with saying stuff like that and she's probably trying to help me out by being realistic, but sometimes I just want someone to comfort me and tell me that everything will turn out the way I want it to be...

          Alright I'm done complaining. Now to actually try and work towards achieving my goals....

          After a brief visit to the past, I've realized that not a lot has changed since 8th grade. I'm already a 10th grader and although I've slimmed down a bit, I still have low self esteem and almost no social life. At least my obsession with all those boy bands has sunk to a minimal level, but in return I've been feeling even lonelier than I did. My little wakeup to reality might just pay off in the end, but sometimes I wonder if I'll truly feel the warm, whole hearted feeling I always felt imagining all those scenarios with them. The main reason I even did start working real hard towards losing weight was because I found a teacher who was giving cheap voice lessons nearby and I thought that once I became a good singer and later celebrity I'd meet them all someday and then they'd find me to be the most beautiful girl ever and after that we'd ride off into the sunset for a happily ever after.

          It took a bit of research to realize that being a celebrity wouldn't guarantee my fantasies becoming reality and that the lifestyle is more stressful and frustrating than anything. My obsession decreased to the point that I began listening to any music that appealed to me regardless of genre, language, and other factors. I guess you could say I began to like music more genuinely which was another step to waking up to reality and taking responsibility for my life.

         I've also been creating more realistic goals. One of them is trying to catch the attention of a really cute guy at school. He seems like kind of a jerk and someone who seems very arrogant, but something about him compels me to get to know him better... That'll be a difficult task though. I wanted impress him with my vocal talent, but then I discovered that one of his friends (actually on second thought it might be his girlfriend) possesses the same talent. Unlike me though she's always flaunting it here and there and it pisses me off. I on the other hand limited it to talent shows. I just don't feel right doing that kinda stuff.

          After all of this babbling, I haven't really shared much information about the guy. I'm too lazy to describe his physical features and plus I think you'd like it if you could see for yourself so here's a picture from last year's yearbook:

          Handsome, right? You might be surprised to know he's Chinese and not white. He could be half because I don't see how that can be his actual hair colour unless he dyed it. I'm Asian myself and even I have never seen any Asian who looks like that...     

          But anyways, besides the fact that he's handsome, he's extremely intelligent. Sure we hear about Asians being smart all the time, but he's on another level. Although I hear that his grades aren't good, I've learned that it's because he never really turns in his projects or homework but otherwise, his exam scores are generally perfect or somewhere near that. I got this information from my friend Angel. And speaking of friends, me and Amy aren't friends anymore. She got tired of my whining near the end of our 8th grade year and joined the popular girls' clique when we reached high school. In fact, we're pretty much enemies now because she's turned into a major b*tch. At least Kris doesn't like her... Oh, oops! You probably already guessed, but yeah... the guy I've been talking about's name is Kris, Kris Wu... I'm not very good with being specific so forgive me for missing little things like that out. Sigh....

          Looking at that picture makes my heart ache a little. I can't help but imagine myself being in his arms... In fact, I do that very often, especially because unlike my favourite boy bands he's not living on the opposite corner of the world. If only I were prettier, he would probably fall in love with me and for once in my life I wouldn't feel so lonely. It's so not fair that all the other girls can have what I want to have.