“Hyung.”

Jaejoong should have been surprised, but somehow, he wasn’t.

“Just my rotten luck,” he said to the counter and knocked back a shot of tequila. When he could feel the burn of liquid courage spreading through his guts, he finally addressed the person standing behind him. “Changmin,” he said in the same detached way Changmin had addressed him.

“May I sit down?”

Jaejoong snorted into his next shot of tequila. “You always were unflappably polite.” He waved one hand vaguely towards the stool next to him. “Sit, sit.”

Suddenly Changmin was in his line of sight, and Jaejoong didn’t know what to do with that. When Changmin had been behind him, just a voice with no face, it had been easy to act blasé. But now that he was pinned under Changmin’s intense gaze, he suddenly felt out of control and vulnerable.

“Why are you here?” Jaejoong asked.

“I often come here,” Changmin said. “I like the quiet.”

Jaejoong hummed a non-committal response.

“Why are you here?” Changmin asked.

Jaejoong shrugged. “Junsu is doing a musical, and Yoochun is rehearsing for his newest drama.” He knew it wasn’t really an answer, but he was unwilling to tell Changmin the real reason he was alone in a small bar on New Year’s Eve.

They lapsed into a silence that wasn’t quite awkward, nor was it comfortable. Mostly they tried to ignore each other as they both sipped their drinks and nursed their own thoughts. But every so often, Jaejoong would take a peek at Changmin. Changmin was still tall, still skinny, but he had filled out quite a bit and was no longer so gangly. He looked good, healthy. And happy.

“Why are you staring at me?” Changmin asked suddenly. He put his glass down on the counter and his stool to face Jaejoong completely, leveling his gaze with the older man.

“I just--You look good, Changmin.”

“Yunho takes good care of me.”

Jaejoong felt the hair rise on the back of his neck, and heat infuse in his cheeks. He figured Changmin would mention Yunho, but he hadn’t expected the attack so soon. “Yunho was always a good leader. He always took care of us,” he said carefully.

“Yes. He always managed to keep us together, even when we were falling apart. Except that one time he couldn’t.”

“That isn’t fair, Changmin,” Jaejoong said miserably. He wished he could have another shot but knew if he had anymore alcohol, they’d be picking him up off the floor. He wasn’t willing to embarrass himself that way in front of Changmin.

“No, hyung, what was unfair was watching you three walk out the door and seeing that shattered look in Yunho’s eyes as his whole world fell apart around him.”

Anger burned hot through Jaejoong’s veins. “It wasn’t like that,” he said.

“No? Then explain to me what happened, because I’m having trouble comprehending it.”

Jaejoong wanted to reach out and slap Changmin right across his stupid face. He had always hated it when Changmin talked to him like a child. But he didn’t think the other patrons of the bar, nor the rest of South Korea, would take it very kindly if he attacked Changmin. He could already see the headlines: JYJ Member Kim Jaejoong Assaults Ex-Bandmate and Dong Bang Shin Ki’s youngest member, Shim Changmin: An Act of Petty Jealousy?

“Cat got your tongue, hyung? Here I am giving you a chance to explain yourself, and you won’t even take it?”

Jaejoong shook his head. “I don’t need to explain myself to you.”

Changmin nodded. “You’re right, you don’t need to explain it to me. I don’t really care. But you do owe it to Yunho.”

“I have tried to explain myself to Yunho so many times, Changmin. He won’t listen to me!”

“Well what did you expect, Jaejoong?” Jaejoong winced. It wasn’t often Changmin called him by his name. Whenever he did, Jaejoong knew he was in for one hell of a lecture. “You can’t tell somebody you love them, can’t promise them forever, and then walk out of their lives without expecting some sort of backlash.”

Jaejoong looked away from Changmin’s hard gaze, unable to take the accusation and anger anymore. “I thought you guys would come with us,” Jaejoong said.

“Somebody had to stay behind to protect our legacy.”

“Our legacy?” Jaejoong asked incredulously. “Changmin, our legacy is built on nothing but lies! The concepts, the music, none of it is really us. I just got so tired of it, and I needed out. I needed to be me. If I was going to sing, I wanted it to be my own lyrics and my own music, not the manufactured crap I was forced to perform.”

“But Jaejoong, that “manufactured” crap is what made us in the first place. Without it, where would we be?”

“I know, I know, okay?” Jaejoong pressed the heels of his hands into his temples to stave off the migraine that was starting to pound behind his eyeballs.

“Jaejoong, listen. Yunho and I, we understand how you feel, and we understand why you left. And I, I’ve forgiven you for all of that. But Yunho….The night you left, you took a piece of him with you. And he’s not been able to overcome it.”

“What do you expect me to do, Changmin? I went to see him, we talked….I thought things would be okay. I guess I was wrong.”

“You can’t just expect things to go back to normal in one night.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Jaejoong said. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Call him up. Invite him to dinner. Have an actual conversation.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

Changmin looked at Jaejoong askance, as if to ask, are you serious? Jaejoong decided not to comment further, because Changmin, damn him, was right: He and Yunho never had communicated well.

“How can I know Yunho will be there?” he asked instead.

Changmin smiled wryly. “He’ll be there,” he said as he stood up. He placed some money on the counter, enough to cover his one drink and Jaejoong’s four, then turned to leave. Before he reached the door, he turned to look at Jaejoong again. “Happy New Year’s, hyung,” he said and then was gone.