(Chicago, BEG hotel)

“Be careful to our bag please” Sun unnie tell the bell boy. While we check our bag too before we enter the hotel.

“Noona!!!”

We try to find where the voice come, and it’s Nich Khun walking and wave to us

“Anneyong haseyo, noona” he greet us

“Anneyong haseyo, Khun-ah what are you doing here?” Narsha unnie asking him enthusiasm

“I’m here for vacation with my family, I’ve been in U.S for 3 weeks. My family is already gone home to Thailand but I’m still here with my friends. Are you going to have concert here”

“Ahh, I forget you had been study in U.S. Yup we’ve have a concert tomorrow night. You should come!” Miryo unnie say it

“Auchh, sorry noona but I’ve already have a plan tomorrow night. Are you only have one concert in U.S?”

“No, we have 8 concert in U.S for 2 weeks” Miryo unnie say to him in English

“Good, where is the next stop” then he reply in English too

“Seattle” Miryo unnie answer him

“Ahh really, I’m about to going there. I’ve have a friend there I want to visit. But tonight, I’ll treat you noonas. Okay!! See you later!!” Khun wave to us and leaving us.

07.30 PM

Khun already waiting for us in the lobby. It’s only me, JeA unnie and Khun waiting for Narsha and Miryo unnie who hasn’t finish make up yet. We’re sit on the lobby.

“It’s quite a long time we haven’t see each other, right noona”

“Yeah you right, 2PM and 2AM really fame in overseas right now haah” JeA unnie tease Khun

“Ahh noona, BEG too”

“Khun-ah so you gonna be in New York for JYP concert right!” I ask him

“Noona, how do you know about Jin Young hyung concert in New York? We haven’t announce it yet that concert some kind like surprise concert, we gonna announce a week before it held” he shock

“Ahh, somebody tell me”

“It can’t be!!! This information only for JYPE company, very limited. From who you know this? Could it be that Jo Kwon” his last sentence kinda teasing me. I don’t answer him, both JeA unnie and Khun look at me suspiciously

“Okay, from whoever that information. I think we should give each of you a ticket. Anyway speaking of Jo Kwon is it true you haven’t contacting from your last episode airing” he continue again and I nodded when he ask me about Jo Kwon

“Really… ?” and he sigh “Kwon-ah be tough” but its loud enough to hear by me and JeA unnie

“What’s wrong?” JeA unnie ask Khun curious

“Hhmmffhh…. You really don’t know noona??” he ask me

“What should I know about him, who is he to me. He is nothing!!!”

“Noona….., he loved you!!” Khun said make us shock, especially me.

“I know what he did to you at the last day of your filming and I know what you did to him at the last day of your last episode airing. Yes.., he told me everything, he told me and Sun Ye. That it’s why Sun Ye come to you to forgive her and asking you to forgive Kwon too, but second thought she said he should ask for his apologize by himself right. Do you remembered?” as of sudden I remember everything happened that day

“You wrong Khun, if that so.. Why he told me he can’t give anything after our show ended?” I raise my tone

“Noona…. Do you know what is our job?, do you know idols have ‘regulations’? Jin Young hyung tell us not to falling in love, he ask Jin Young hyung to loosen up his regulations toward him but Jin Young said that could be happen in the show, but if the show is end so does your feel. Crazy, sad, painful hah!!” I still can’t believe what Khun says, I try to find something bad about Jo Kwon.

“And Sun Ye, she did that because he is her friend right. Like you did now!” Again, I raise my voice when I speak to him.

“Noona, how many times I tell you, you definitely won’t trust me. What I say about Sun Ye it’s true!”

“Well he seems fine right now, its two years ago. So I think it’s nothing right!!” I say smoothly

“Noona, he’s change!!  Jo Kwon is change a lot. More than you think. If you see him at any show he gonna show you his joyful and happy side, but as soon the camera is off. You gonna see him very different , different than you met him. You won’t see his nags anymore, he very quiet. You won’t see he gonna laugh with others like he used to do it, he doesn’t take jokes lightly. He doesn’t spend his money for his hobby. He change after that award show”

“But…, he….”

“WHY..??” Khun ask me curious

“Yah, c’mon we’re ready to go” Narsha unnie shout at us, we look Narsha and Miryo unnie walk to our way.

“Unnie I don’t come, suddenly I got a headache” yes, I my head dizzy and I really want to be alone right now. I leave them.

“I better check her, you all go” I hear JeA unnie voice and she linking her arm to my waist and I lean my head to her.., suddenly I cry.

“GaIn-ah don’t cry now, later… don’t let Narsha and Miryo find out” JeA whisper to my ear

 (GaIn hotel room)

As soon I arrive in my room, I quickly hug JeA unnie and cry in her hug.

“Sssshhhh…. Cry now….. let it out… It’s okay, I’m with you GaIn-ah” for 7 or 10 minutes I cry

“It’s done, is it out yet… Everything??” She say it with sincerity

“Yes, I think”

“Okay, You want to share or not”

“He called me…., at 00.00 AM at my birthday. And I don’t know that he loved me. You stupid Son GaIn!!”

“No you’re not, It’s better too late than you don’t know it at all, maybe you can talk to him in New York. You can ask him, is he still loving you or not. Now just sleep dear, you need extra energy for tomorrow”

Flasback

-Two years ago, a month before last WGM filming-

BEG DORM – GaIn room

“Just let her be alone right now” Narsha unnie  tell JeA unnie as I walk to enter my room.

“Can you see her face, how we can let her alone” JeA unnie shouted Narsha unnie back

“Sshhh can you two stop arguing, Narsha if you want to let her alone so leave her alone and you JeA if you want to accompany her just go do it!!! Narsha don’t do anything to Jo Seobang, I know you pissed off because of him. JeA.. just wait 10 or 15 minutes later, I think GaIn need her time alone now”

All my unnies go to her room, I know because of me they got a little fight. I wash my face and throw my body in the bed. I keep remember what Kwonnie said to me… is he really have nothing to me… and I just cry… the sound is getting bigger, I take my pillow and cover my face

“GaIn-ah…” JeA unnie take the pillow and hug me

“Unnie… he hurt me”

“Okay… just let it out…” we hugging for almost 10 minutes, even after I release her hug I still sobbing

“GaIn-ah are you okay now?” JeA unnie hand me the tissue

I sigh and shed my tears

“What do you feel right now?”

“Unnie, did he really don’t have a little feeling to me..? After one year! How can he say like that to me, JO KWON REALLY MEAN” I say it but my tears still come out

 “GaIn-ah, do you love him?” when I hear that question my tears start falling down again, I tell to myself to stop crying but the tears still come out and is getting fast.

“Gosh… come here..” JeA unnie hug me again, she hug me tighter than before

“I should call Narsha to call Kwonnie now”

“No..” I release her hug

“Why?? He should now, so you don’t have to be suffer like this”

“No… even before we finish our WGM he already tells me, he won’t give me anything. After the show end. So why should he know!!”

“Ohh dear, no… I saw his face when Narsha block him. He really sincere, I think he want to apologize about what he said to you sweety”

“No, please don’t call him, don’t tell him about this unnie. Will you promise me?”

“Okay I will, don’t worry”

“Thank you unnie, unnie can I take a day off for the next three days. I really want to meet my mom, I want to go home”

“I try to talk with Sun unnie, yup I think you need that... You really okay now GaIn-ah…”

“Yes, thank you unnie”

“I leave now, sleep well don’t think about Jo Kwon okay…” but when I close my eyes, that all Jo Kwon sweet events is in my mind

(Two days again – GaIn family house)

Thankfully Sun unnie give me two days for my vacation

“GaIn-ah are you having a bad mood these days” my mom ask me when I read magazine beside her

“No... I’m fine”

“I’m your umma, so I know if my daughter feeling not fine. Tell me”

“Really, I’m okay mma”

“That’s okay, if you don’t want to share with me. Anyway your ‘marriage’ is end next month right? Can you tell the PD to filming in our house, I want to meet my ‘son in law’” I don’t answer my mom question

“GaIn-ah, your umma is talking to you… pay attention a bit. Or… you just ask your husband secretly to meet me somewhere, or just call him right now… tell him to come here”

“Umma, can’t you stop it saying about son in law, Jo Kwon is not your son in law. That’s only fake mma” I raise my voice to her… she look me in the eyes

“Umma… Sorry, I don’t mean that” I say shyly to my mom

“Okay….it’s okay…… so because Jo Kwon you come here, what he did to you?”

“Nothing… nothing happen… we only do our work together”

“Do you wish more than that…” I don’t reply her question

“Don’t