Sehun squints his eyes and brushes his thumb over the buttons of the controller, analyzing the debacle he got himself into. If he rushes over to the hostages and manages to free them, his partner’s life would be in grave danger. On the other hand, if he gets his partner off of the grips of the ever persistent zombies, he is certain that the Zombie Lord would make a feast of his brain. Which choice is the true act of heroism, really?

Sehun taps the controller with his long fingers and unconsciously bites his bottom lip. “Think, Sehun, think. You’ve won this game dozens of times. You can do it.” He softly mutters to himself.

After a solid minute of meticulously calculating all possibilities, a smirk plays on his lips. He starts the game and leans forward, gaze fixated on the zombie filled screen. He pushes a combination of buttons on the controller as his video game character searches his backpack for useful weapons.

“Aha!” Sehun cheers and his eyes form crescents. His character pulls out a rifle and a grenade. He uses the rifle to gain attention on himself, and once the zombies dart towards him, he pulls out the pin and tosses the grenade towards the mass of zombies. A few more moves and the words: “YOU WIN!” greets a positively beaming Sehun.

“Hyung! I did it! I won!” Sehun bounces up and down, eventually enveloping his favorite hyung in an embrace.

“Good job, Sehun-ah.” Luhan is equally pleased with the maknae’s accomplishment. He wraps his arms around Sehun, shyly taking in the younger’s scent.

“I can’t believe I won again! I told Kai I could win thirteen times in a row. That son of a gun never believes me.” Sehun releases Luhan and points to him. “You’re going to be my witness, hyung.”

“Of course,” Luhan’s laugh echoes in the empty living room.

Sehun squeals in excitement, unable to contain his happiness. Luhan admires him from the sideline, much like he always does these past few months.

Luhan is not certain when it began, but as his gaze lingers on the maknae, he becomes more and more certain that he is utterly captivated by him.

Sehun continues to brag about his recent victory, arms flailing in almost all directions. He is completely oblivious to Luhan’s intense gaze, so he is downright taken by surprise when Luhan suddenly blurts out, “I think I’m in love with you.”

There is an eerie silence that followed the confession. Luhan’s cheeks turn a bright shade of red as Sehun’s eyes bore holes into his entire being.

“What?” Sehun asks after a long minute of complete silence.

Luhan gulps. He figures now is the best time to come clean, seeing as they are the only ones left in the dorm. “I-” he starts out in a shaky voice, so he clears his throat. “I think I’m in love with you, Sehun-ah.”

Luhan expects to hear laughter emitting from the maknae. Or, if he sets his hopes up too high, at least some form of confession as well. But what Luhan hears is far from what he expects.

“Does anyone else know?” Sehun asks in a tone that makes Luhan feel queasy.

Luhan looks down at his hands. “No. I haven’t told anyone but you.”

Again, silence. Luhan doesn’t know if he wants to laugh or cry at Sehun’s response. “Good. Don’t tell anyone.”

---

Two weeks. That is how long Sehun has been avoiding Luhan.

The other members start to notice, and they try the most subtle ways to get answers from the pair. Of course, their mission eventually fails when Sehun starts telling them off, too.

“Your hyungs are worried, Sehun.” Suho coaxes him. “The tension is making us all uneasy.”

“Well my hyungs should learn how to keep their butts off other people’s business.” Sehun barks back, completely out of character.

Suho glares at him. He has had enough of his stubborn friend, so he turns to leave. Before he completely exits the room however, he turns to Sehun and says, “Luhan hyung’s been crying the entire time.”

“What?” Sehun deadpans.

Suho continues, “He doesn’t know we can hear him.”

Sehun remains silent, his attention diverted back to his shaking hands. Why does that annoy him so much?

Suho leaves him be after that.

Another week passes and Sehun and Luhan are still not on speaking terms. They are going out of their way to avoid each other, especially during interviews, concerts and what not. It’s easy to avoid each other back in their dorm, since they aren’t roommates anyway, but being asked questions about each other during interviews makes them both disconcerted.

“Anything you have to say about your hyungs, Sehun?” the MC asks with a bright smile on his face. “What about Luhan?”

Sehun’s jaw clenches, which doesn’t go unnoticed by Kyungsoo and Chanyeol, who are seated beside him.

“Uh,” Sehun fakes a smile. “Luhan hyung is a good friend.”

The way Sehun emphasizes the word ‘friend’ makes Luhan want to vomit.

“And Luhan, what do you have to say about Sehun?” the MC persists.

“Ditto,” Luhan musters up enough courage to beam at the camera.

---

The ride back home to their dorms is the worst. There is an eerie silence filling the enclosed space of the car, and it is because of the sulking Luhan seated beside the driver of the vehicle.

“Hyung, please eat something.” Xiumin holds out a piece of bread. “You look pale.”

“Here, I have chocolates too.” Lay smiles at him kindly. “You love chocolates, don’t you?”

Honestly, chocolates only makes Luhan think of Sehun. Sehun loves that flavor with his entire being.

Luhan shakes his head and smiles weakly. “I already ate before we left.” He lies.

“You really don’t look so good, Luhan hyung.” Tao comments.

Luhan lets out a shaky laugh. “A while ago you said I was the cutest, Tao. Do I really look that bad without make up?”

Tao’s eyes widen considerably. “What? Of course not! You still look cute, hyung.”

Luhan laughs again and turns to look at the appalled looking Tao. “I’m just playing with you, silly maknae.”

The atmosphere suddenly becomes tense. Luhan used to call Sehun ‘the silly maknae’. Old habits really do die hard.

Luhan opens his mouth to say something, but he gets cut off by Xiumin’s piercing voice. “LOOK OUT!”

Luhan vaguely remembers the horrified screams of his fellow members before his eyes are met by the blinding light of the oncoming vehicle, and his ears are filled with the sounds of metal hitting metal.

And then everything turns black.

---

“Oh, manager hyung is calling.” Suho raises his eyebrows in surprise and answers the call. “Hello?”

Sehun’s eyes form two slits as he studies Suho’s expression. He starts off as surprised, then his forehead creases in worry, before his hands start shaking and his face turns pale. Baekhyun is the first to break the silence.

“Hyung, what did he say?”

Suho opens and closes his mouth repeatedly as his phone drops on the carpeted floor of their car. He lifts his gaze and stares straight at Sehun with anxious eyes.

“There’s been an accident.”

“What?” Kai leans forward, mirroring Baekhyun’s flabbergasted expression.

“What kind of accident?” Chanyeol asks.

Suho gulps, and he tries to steady his voice. But he fails miserably because of the forming lump on his throat. “EXO-M’s van… it got hit by a bigger vehicle. They… they’re being rushed to the hospital right now.”

“Do they have serious injuries?” Kyungsoo whispers.

Suho shakes his head, now unable to stop the tears forming in his eyes. “Not all of them.”

“… Who?” Sehun’s voice cracks slightly.

Suho turns to him, biting his quivering lips. He doesn’t want to answer Sehun’s question, but he knows he has to. He tries his best to answer the maknae in a clear voice. “Luhan hyung was sitting up front, where the other car hit them. He’s… They’ve rushed him to the ICU.”

“Oh God,” Kai mumbles, burying his face in his hands.

Sehun tries to stop his fists from shaking. “How bad?”

“Well, he’s in the ICU. He’s in good hands-” Suho gets cut off.

“I said,” Sehun’s tone is stern, his gaze not faltering. “How bad?”

“They don’t know if he’ll make it, Sehun.”

---

The circular wall clock indicates that it’s 10:30 at night, but Sehun feels like it has been days. Days since the beginning of this horrible nightmare, days since he started to feel like ripping his heart out and throwing it in the trash bin, days since the news of Luhan’s condition circulated the news. Sehun is fully aware of the tense atmosphere as he and his fellow band members await the latest update of Luhan’s condition, but he can’t bring himself to care. As he paces back and forth along the long stretch of hallway, his thoughts are filled with that of a boy with bright doe eyes. Oh how he wishes he could see those eyes again.

“Sehun,” Suho calls out. His voice sounds strained. “Please, sit down with us.”

“No,” Sehun growls.

Suho simply winces in response.

“Please, Sehun,” Kyungsoo begs. “You’re making all of us a lot more nervous when you walk around like that.”

“How am I supposed to walk then?” Sehun barks back.

“YOU’RE NOT!” Kai snaps, gaining everyone’s attention. “You’re not supposed to walk, Sehun. You’re supposed to sit your down like the rest of us and WAIT! Damn it, you acting like a bundle of nerves does not lighten the situation. So would you please sit the down and stay put?!”

Sehun opens and closes his mouth repeatedly, utterly speechless by Kai’s choice of words. How is he supposed to act, really? He just learned that his best friend suffered an accident, and he may not be able to see him again. At the thought, Sehun feels his heart wrench, and soon enough, he finds it hard to breath. He looks down at his feet and he notices his vision start to blur. He knows he’s about to cry. So he does the only thing he can- he runs away. He runs pass his hyungs, pushes the double doors open and crashes on the tiled floor. He crawls to the corner, pulls his knees close to his chest, and he cries. He sits on the cold floor and cries.

“I think I’m in love with you.”

“Oh God, Luhan, you are so stupid.” Sehun says with a shaky voice. He doesn’t care if anyone sees him, he just sits there with a flood of tears escaping his tired eyes and talks to himself. “You’re not supposed to tell me you love me and then leave me! Stupid, stupid, stupid.”

“Sehun…”

Sehun’s chokes and wipes his stained cheeks. He looks up to see a very concerned Suho.

“What do you want?” Sehun’s words are harsh, but he is too worn out to apologize.

Suho ignores Sehun’s blatant disrespect and sits beside him. He rests his head on the wall as he gazes towards the ceiling. “Luhan hyung loves you.”

Sehun scoffs bitterly and wipes his nose with the sleeve of his hoodie. “I know.”

“Do you love him too?”

Sehun is silent for a few minutes. He contemplates the question in his head. He is certain he loves Luhan, but isn’t sure in what way. So, he provides Suho a safe answer. “Of course I do, he’s my friend.”

Suho shakes his head. “Sometimes, I can’t believe how dumb you can be.”

“Excuse me?” Sehun is taken aback.

“I guess we never really know how much someone or something means to us until it’s taken away from us, huh?”

Sehun can’t help but feel nervous at Suho’s words. What did he mean, exactly? Sehun was about to ask, but Chanyeol interrupts them.

Chanyeol bends his knees and rests his palms on his kneecap, panting slightly. “Luhan hyung is awake.”

---

By the time Sehun, Chanyeol and Suho reach Luhan’s room, the rest of the members are already there.

“Sehun…” Lay is standing beside Luhan, wearing an unreadable expression.

Sehun ignores him as his eyes land on Luhan. He looks so fragile, so vulnerable. Sehun felt the need to rush over to his side and protect him from everyone. But of course, he can’t do that. Not when Luhan looks around his surroundings with pure horror and nervousness.

“Sehun,” Kai stands in front of Sehun.

Sehun shoves him away and continues to walk towards Luhan. He makes a move to grab Luhan’s hand, but the older boy retracts his hand. Sehun gazes at him with a confused expression.

“Hyung…?”

“W-who are you?” Luhan’s voice cracks slightly. “W-where are my parents? Who are you people?”

Sehun’s chest tightens as he lets his hand drop. The confused look Luhan possessed, the way he grips on his blankets tightly, the way Lay stares at him with such pity… it all makes sense to Sehun now.

Nothing hurts more than realizing that the one you love has forgotten you.

---

“It’s going to take some time.” Dr. Park informs the group grimly. He re-adjusts his eyeglasses and clears his throat before looking down on his clipboard. “Luhan has been diagnosed with a type of amnesia we call traumatic amnesia. Traumatic amnesia is caused by a hard blow to the head, and his recovery depends on how serious the injury is. Based on the information we have gathered, it’s going to take a while for Luhan’s memories to return.”

“But he will remember us eventually, right?” Kai asks weakly. The puffiness of his eyes is very noticeable, but there is still a small gleam of hope in them.

“It’s hard to say…” Dr. Park trails off. “Some patients never get their memory back.”

“Is there any way we can help?” Xiumin’s voice is strained.

“Well, it isn’t advisable to inform him of all that he has forgotten all at once. If you want him to remember you, you have to orient him – slowly.”

“So it’s like he’s meeting us all over again?” Kris clarifies.

“Precisely.”

“Bullsh*t.” Sehun barks as he angrily runs a hand through his hair. “Can’t you give him any medicine to help him remember?”

“Sehun,” Suho warns gently. “Amnesia isn’t something that can be treated so easily.”

Sehun lets out a groan of frustration before he decides he doesn’t want to listen to the doctor’s words anymore. He marches away from the group, not really having any destination in mind. He later finds himself in front of Luhan’s hospital room, only he thinks twice about entering. He presses his ear against the door and hears Luhan’s parents talking. They’re explaining his current situation to him, as well as introducing him to the fact that he’s part of one of the most well-known groups in Asia – EXO.

“I can sing? And dance?” Luhan doesn’t bother to hide the shock in his voice. “Is this some kind of joke?”

“No honey, it isn’t.” Luhan’s mother replies.

“You’re actually pretty good, son.” His father comments.

Sehun bites his tongue before he can say something along the lines of you’re better than good.

They talk some more, and Sehun stands in front of the door, patiently waiting for his turn to talk to Luhan.

“Do you want us to get anything for you while we’re out?”

Sehun perks up at hearing Luhan’s mother’s words.

“Hmmm… strangely, I’m craving for bubble tea.”

Sehun smiles despite himself.

“Alright, honey. We’ll get you one when we get back.”

Luhan’s parents bid their goodbyes, and Sehun prepares to go in after them.

“Ah, Sehun,” Mrs. Lu greets with a curt nod.

“Um, hi,” Sehun curses himself for being so awkward.

“Luhan’s resting now.” Mrs. Lu continues, however, when he sees the dejected expression on Sehun’s face, she quickly adds, “But I suppose he still has energy to spare.”

Sehun can’t hide the excitement in his tone. “I promise I’ll be quick.”

---

“Did you bring me my bubble tea, mom?” Luhan asks with a small smile, his gaze still fixated on the view from the window. When he turns to look at the person who just entered his room, his smile falters. “Oh, you’re one of them.”

Sehun ignores the pang in his chest when he smiles at Luhan. “Yes. My name is Oh Sehun. I’m… the maknae of the group.”

“Sehun…” Luhan lets the younger boy’s name roll off his tongue. “Strange…”

“What?”

“I said it’s strange…” Luhan’s lips form into a thin line. “Were we close?”

You were in love with me. “Um, sort of.” Sehun answers, taking a step closer. “We used to share a room.”

“Ah, I see.” Luhan’s brows furrow.

“We also used to drink bubble tea together after practice. It’s how we got close.”

Luhan continues to stare at the younger boy. After a few moments of silence, Luhan tilts his head, sporting a curious expression. “If we were close… then why do I feel sad whenever I see you? Did we fight?”

“Not exactly.” Sehun gulps.

Sehun opens his mouth to continue, but the door suddenly opens, revealing the rest of the EXO members.

“Hi Luhan,” Suho greets. He sends Sehun a quick glance. “How are you feeling?”

“Well, my head hurts a little.” Luhan mutters. “But other than that I feel okay…”

“That’s good.” Baekhyun smiles.

Luhan looks at him sadly. “I’m sorry but… I don’t seem to remember any of you.”

“We know.” Lay forces a smile. “That’s why we’re here to help you remember.”

---

Sehun is a coward. He proves it by continuing to avoid Luhan at all costs while he is recovering. The other members are slowly helping him remember, and there are times wherein Luhan recalls bits and pieces of their time together. However, majority of the memories are still kept hidden – particularly memories he once shared with Sehun. Three months has passed and he still doesn’t remember the love he had for Sehun. And slowly, Sehun starts to accept the fact. He isn’t happy, but he doesn’t want to overwhelm Luhan either. Maybe it’s best if Luhan never remembers his memories with the maknae.

“You’re a d*ck, you know.” Kai informs him one day at their hotel room.

They are preparing for their concert in Beijing, and Sehun ends up sharing a room with Kai.

“What did you just call me?” Sehun glares at the tan male.

“I said you’re a d*ck. Luhan hyung doesn’t deserve to be treated like this.”

“Like what, exactly?”

“Instead of trying to help him, you’re avoiding him.” Kai sighs. “He’s starting to notice.”

“I don’t want him to remember. He might end up getting hurt again.”

“Please. You and I both know that’s a load of bullsh*t.” Kai retorts. “You’re not afraid of hurting him. You’re afraid he’s going to hurt you like you did to him before the accident.”

“You don’t know anything, so it’s better if you just keep your opinions to yourself.” Sehun snaps.

Kai sighs. “He’s been asking questions about you, Sehun. I think he’s starting to remember.”

“What did you tell him?”

“To talk to you.” Kai places a hand on Sehun’s tense shoulder. “Talk to him, Sehun. He needs you.”

---

“I like taro bubble tea.” Luhan blurts out as he stirs the drink in his hands. He looks up at Sehun with a small smile. “You like chocolate.”

Sehun nods, fixing his gaze on the table.

Luhan sighs and leans back. “You said we were close before.”

“Yes.”

“… What happened?”

Sehun finally looks up at Luhan, his eyes sad. “I was an idiot.”

Luhan tilts his head to the side.

The memory of Luhan’s confession is still fresh in Sehun’s mind. I think I’m in love with you, that’s what Luhan told him. The blunt confession stirred a lot of emotions inside Sehun. Panic being the main emotion. Back then, he wasn’t thinking straight. His inability to handle the swirl of emotions forming in the pit of his stomach caused him his happiness. Luhan confessed to him, and he treated the older male like trash. It is only now that Sehun realizes that he rejected Luhan not because he didn’t love him, but because deep down, he was afraid he would end up hurting Luhan. Luhan is the epitome of brightness, while Sehun always tried his best to mask his insecurity. He was afraid Luhan would eventually see him for who he truly was and leave him. Sehun was merely saving the both of them from heartache… or so he tought.

“I think I’m in love with you.” Sehun says in a daze.

Luhan furrows his brows in confusion, before letting Sehun’s words sink in. And then, he remembers. He remembers Sehun rejecting him, and the huge amount of pain it inflicted upon him. Slowly, Luhan let the memories flood back as tears stream down his face.

“You never loved me back.” Luhan whispered sadly.

At this point, Sehun didn’t care if anyone sees him crying his heart out. The pain he tried so hard to avoid – it caught up to him.

“I can’t take this anymore.” Sehun chokes.

Luhan whimpers and makes a move to stand up. He plans to run as far away from Sehun as possible because the pain is unbearable. Why couldn’t he just forget?

It is only when Luhan feels a strong grip on his arm that he stops. He suddenly feels a pair of strong arms wrap around his body and Luhan feels himself relax.

“Not being with you…” Sehun’s voice cracks as he tightens his embrace on Luhan. “I can’t take it anymore.”

“Sehun-ah…” Luhan sobs.

Sehun forces Luhan to turn around and look him in the eye.

“I was stupid to think that I could live without you.” Sehun begins, his hands finding its way to caress Luhan’s cheeks. “I thought that if there was no us, we could avoid getting hurt.”

Luhan bites his lip. “Why on earth would you think that we’d end up hurting each other?”

“Like I said, I was stupid.” Sehun stares intently into Luhan’s eyes, afraid that if he looks away, Luhan will somehow vanish.

Luhan, to Sehun’s surprise, let’s out a soft chuckle. “Yes, you are very stupid, Oh Sehun.”

“Hm,” Sehun hums softly. “Do you think you could ever forgive me for being an idiot?”

“Yes. Only if it means that I can keep on loving you.”

Sehun vaguely remembers a time when he was this happy. He wastes no time and captures Luhan’s lips in a passionate kiss. Sehun notes that Luhan’s lips are soft, and that he can never find the will to pull away.

“I’m sorry it took me so long to realize how much of an idiot I was becoming…” Sehun whispers.

Luhan smiles. “I blame your video games for that. Too much video games is never good.”

Sehun laughs. “Well you don’t have to worry about my video games from now on. I’d much rather spend time with you.”

“Aish, so cheesey.” Luhan teases as he softly hits Sehun on the chest.

“It’s the truth.” Sehun’s expression suddenly turns serious as he wraps his arms around Luhan once more. “I’m going to spend the rest of my life making it up to you, Xiao Lu. Trust me.”

Luhan snuggles closer to Sehun. “I do trust you, Sehun. With all my heart.”

---

Author's Note: Umm... hi? LOL. I know some of you have been waiting for me to update my chaptered stories, unfortunately I have suffered from a bad case of writer's block. I got the plot written out, but I seem to be having a hard time actually writing the chapter. But fear not! This one shot was actually an exercise for me to get my creative juices flowing. Hopefully I'll be able to update my chaptered stories SOON. For now, here's a little present for you all. Yeah, it's a bit angsty but I've always wanted to try writing a sort of angsty HunHan fic. But as you can see, I just can't seem to get the fluffiness completely out of the way. At least we get a happy HunHan ending! LOL. Anywho.. I guess it's adios for now. Enjoy reading the story ^_^