We are now in the middle of the school year but I still have this strange feeling of approaching everyone in the school. Well at least I have Minah with me, the only one who go along with me everytime since I transfered in this University. Although she's acting very nice with me, I still feel a bit uncomfortable when I'm with her. Maybe because of her appearance?

 

Honestly I'm sort of being conscious being with her since surely everyone notice the difference between the two of us. I think she already got all of the traits I wished myself to be. She has the looks, the perfect conflexion, and most of all she has a height of a model which I really wished I have.

 

I don't want to ask myself anymore why do I have to be petite. Of course it is not because of a pathetic reason that when God showered a perfect height, I wasn't able to be blessed with it because I was asleep at that time but obviously I got the genes from my mom who doesn't also have gotten taller. Maybe you're thinking why it's not okay for me being small, it's not just because of the simple reasons which others like me think but there is one reason that concerns me most...

 

I have a crush with a guy who I met since junior high and Sehun is his name. I happened to transfer in this school probably on purpose because I knew that he studied here and I might have the chance to be his classmate who luckily turned my hopes into a reality. But then one day, there's this one girl who immediately woke me from my dream..

I'll never forget that it was Tuesday morning inside the classroom where three of my girl classmates (I barely know their names) were talking to each other about stuffs. First, I'm just ignoring their conversations then later I heard them talking about some guys in the room.What caught my attention was that they even talked about Sehun. yeah, my crush.

 

"Sehun had the looks and he's even good when it comes to basketball", one of them said.

 

"I agree. He's very attractive but don't you notice how quiet he is? You may even count how many words he say everyday", the other laughed.

 

How dare them to talk secretly about the personal lives of the people they didn't close with. Couldn't they save any privacy of Sehun's  life? I was about to walk out the classroom but then I was frozen on what I have heard next..

 

"But guys hold on a sec,this is very interesting.I know what Sehun likes in a girl", the third girl interreupted. Of course, I'm also eager to know what it is! he's my crush.

"Oh really? come on tell us!" the two girls insisted and I was saying the same in my mind.

 

"He likes a girl who has long hair.." she started and I feel an excitement on her list of informations which I was hoping that everything in that list is what I all possessed.

 

she added, "he doesn't mind of the girls' skin, and of course she likes a girl who always smile and with a good heart" Oh my gosh, my smile is getting bigger and bigger as I heard everything since not to brag about it, but those "likes" were too simple that I even think that I may have a chance on him. But my smile suddenly turned down when she finally said,

 

 

 

"BUT HE DOESN'T LIKE GIRLS WHO ARE SMALL"

 

then that's it! I felt like I was slapped by a hundred palms and I can't help but blame myself for being small. Why? Why of all the traits he will hate was the one I could impossibly be. From that day, I've regret many things in my life. On why didn't I follow my mom's words when I was a child: to get enough sleep, drink vitamins, and eat foods properly so that I may grow big.

 

Anyway, I don't want to easily give up my feelings for him. In fact I became more persistent so everyday I drink growing vitamins.It really sounds ridiculous but I guess it's not yet too late, I'm only 17, maybe I still have a chance to grow taller than being a 5 feet flat.

I was walking in the corridor talking with this "friend" of mine,Minah, talking about her new blouse she just bought yesterday.

"Come, I'll show you. Tell me if it looks good in me." She drag me infront of her locker. She bring out a bag from the locker and picked the blouse inside. She showed it to me but... WAIT! It looks familiar..I'm sure I obviously look startled.

"Hey Hana, what's going on?" she asked me.

 

"that blouse.." I said.

 

"what? It's beautiful isn't it?"

 

"uhm..yeah"

 

"great! I knew it was. I really have a good taste in picking up what's perfect." she proudly said.

 

That blouse..I knew it was so familiar. Last week I was with her, I showed it to her and asked her opinion if it's okay to me and she said it wasn't. She even said that the color was too bright and not good in sight and now she's complimenting it that it was so beautiful? Did she remember that? Is she insane?

 

"Do you think I can wear this on Sunday?" ..... "Hana are you with me?" her question woke me up from overthinking. I just nodded at her and smile.

 

This is one of the things why I shouldn't be so comfortable being with her most of the time. I don't think she will be a good friend to trust. Also, she's too talkative that's why I decided to just kept into myself my feelings for Kris.

"Hana, I noticed that you're just being alone all the time around here. I mean look at me, I could even hang out with the boys." she bragged.

 

"oh! I guess you're really good at being so friendly to everyone unlike me."

 

"Oh come on Hana, don't you like everyone here in the school?"

 

"Of course not Minah! I'm just uncomfortable to someone here but of course I do like others here." I blurted.

 

"Really? So it means you even have a crush to any boys out here in school?" I look at her grinning and I couldn't answer even a word. Oh no! Where will this going? I don't want her to know!

"Tell me who it is! I'll keep it as a secret, promise!" I picture into her face that she's teasing me.

 

Oh crap! What am I gonna do now? I just glance around the corridor and tried something to do to escape from her question but as she continue insisting, I suddenly point my finger to any random guys who is there in the corridor at the moment.
As I look, I saw that I pointed out Chanyeol. I don't know what on earth or magic trick just happened that he suddenly looked back while I'm still pointing out my finger on him then he smiled at me. I immediately put down my arms and look away. Oh! Park Chanyeol, that chickboy. I can't even imagine having crush on him. This is crazy!

 

"Whoa!Did you see that Hana? You easily got his attention! I saw that he just smiled at you." Minah said clapping her hands happily.

"Wait here okay? Or if you're in a rush to do something else you may go first. I just need to do something." she added.

 

"Okay. I think I'll go first. I need to check on some books I'll be using for tomorrow's lecture.Take care!" I started walking towards the library. I headed up on stairs when I remember that I forgot to tell some reminders for Minah so I quickly go back downstairs to find her. There she is! Now I see her talking with Chanyeol.

 

Wait, what? Who? Chanyeol? I recall to my mind what just happened earlier, just minutes ago before I go. NOOOOOOOO! She can't do that! If she told him, I'm dead. She doesn't even know that it was just a lie.

 

Next morning when I enter our room, most of my classmates are looking at me with suspicious smiles and if I'm right those were looks of them teasing me. I knew it was right when someone blurted out.

"We all knew now that you're secretly inlove with Chanyeol,Hana! No need to keep it yourself.And I also heard, you even kissed each other. whoa! that was fast!"

With that, they all started teasing me the whole time that it really annoys me cause God, this was all a lie. You're all idiot for believing what was not true.

 

I hate and I'm so ashame to do this but I decided to talk to Minah during break time.

 

"Why did you do that? You told me, no, you promised me that you're going to keep it as a secret but when I saw you talking to Chanyeol yesterday, there it all started.and the thing that we kissed each other? Hell,you know it's not true!" I said it all fast because of anger.

 

"Okay Hana relax girl. I apologize that I slept my mouth and told him that you have a crush on him but hell, i'm not the one who spreaded it out!" she defended.

 

"If not you, who else will do?"

 

"Chanyeol himself." she answered.

 

"What? He did? What the hell came up to his mind to proudly spread that to everyone in the school?"

 

"I don't know. Maybe you should ask him not me. I'm really sorry for that Hana, okay? but I need to go now, I need to see some guys on the cafe. See you later!" 

Now I'm alone with myself. I haven't think of anything more to do but find that crazy Chanyeol.

 

I quickened my pace and there I saw him on a bench somewhere behind the school building,talking with a girl who I'm surely he is flirting with. I cannot control my temper so I shouted at him.

"CHANYEOL!!"

he look at me,surprised.He stood up and I saw him bid a good bye to whoever girl he is with. He walk towards me,

"Oh Hana, hello there lady! What a pleasure to see the one who secretly hides her feelings to me." now he's smiling. 

 

"Stop it you jerk!! how dare you spread the word to everyone here? For your information, that was all a lie!"

 

"Hey calm down." He patted me in my shoulder and I quickly shoved his hands off me.

 

"Stop it! Why do you need to do that? Are you a totally insane or in drugs? What benefit would you think it may bring you? Now I'm totally devastated and embarassed. This is all intruding me!You know in fact that this was all a lie. Kiss? Now, I don't really know what the hell should I do to stop all these humors!"

 

I can't believe myself that I had that courage to say it all loud. It was my first time to blurt out all the hurt and anger I felt since yesterday.My eyes were about to give up and urging to cry.

There were silence all around. We barely hear the noise of the students since we are far from the campus.

 

"I know what to do." He finally broke the silence.I look at him in his face, now serious. He look back into me, now facing each other. As if he knew that I'm asking 'what else can we do?'so again he talked..

 

"Let's make the humor true."

 

I was startled but before I could say something he quickly grab me into his arms and all what I remember next is that his lips are touching mine.