Tao missed him. That was the first thought running through his brain. It had kicked off the moment they met on the sidewalk and Sehun said his name and Tao wanted to hear it said like that again and again. They were only several days removed from the last time they'd spoken. Minutes earlier Tao thought that wasn't enough time. Now it was definitely too long. He just didn't know how to initiate whatever this was... was it a reconciliation? Did they have something to reconcile? Tao thought they must. Sehun looked liked they must.

They agreed to walk the dogs home first, but the tension between them caused them to remain silent the whole way to Sehun's house, and even after the dogs were put away and Sehun inquired a silent what now? Tao still didn't know what to say.

They ended up at a local coffee shop and cafe because Tao didn't want to remain in Sehun's home, in Sehun's room, staring at a bed where he'd slept and dozed so peacefully plenty of times. He didn't want to contaminate those memories now, in case anything went wrong. And still they didn't speak about it, about anything, until Sehun had a cold drink between his hands and Tao sniffed at a steaming cup of tea, tail curling around beneath and around the chair legs, and he really tried not to look like a chastised animal, but he was so nervous he could hardly help it. He guessed by the whispers going around the cafe that people assumed he was a pet in trouble with its owner, for all that neither of them looked entirely happy with the other. They probably should have stayed somewhere private instead of dragging this outside, but it was too late now.

They hadn't said anything yet that was relevant to the situation, and so to regain some semblance of control Tao decided he might as well go first. He cleared his throat but Sehun beat him there. 

“So, how have you been?” he asked him. Tao figured he wasn't asking what he had for breakfast or where he napped yesterday, but judging by Sehun's soft voice, he was obviously upset by the atmosphere as well, and trying anything to make this sound like a normal situation.

“Fine,” said Tao. He said it shortly, clipped. It was harsher even than he intended.

Sehun seemed like he didn't know where to go from there. “That's good,” is all he said.

“Yeah.”

“How's your tea?” 

“Hot. And yours?”

“It's fine.”

It was scintillating conversation. An old woman sitting at the next table even looked over, bemused by their talk, by the space between their dialogue, by the stutters and the way they didn't look each other in the eye, not directly anyways.

Sehun sighed. “I'm sorry,” he said finally. He opened his mouth to say more, and then got flustered and whatever words he had fizzled out. 

“I'm sorry I didn't know about your mother,” said Tao to fill the gap. “You... you could have told me about her. I would have liked to know.” 

“I'm sorry.”

Tao huffed, softly. “You said that before.” And then he smiled. “Seriously though, I... I don't know what to say now.”

“You don't have to say anything,” said Sehun. “Really, it's me who's at fault, I think. I got upset. That day. Worse than I should have been.”

“Kai is sorry, by the way,” Tao interrupted. 

Sehun didn't look all that shocked, although he didn't seem terribly pleased that his train of thought was disrupted.

“I'm sorry, please go on,” said Tao. He made a note to himself to repeat that third-person apology at a later, more appropriate time, if there was one.

Because instead of going on, Sehun slurped his drink and leaned back into his chair. He gave the cafe another look around, and glared at some kids behind Tao's back who were ogling the hybrid. Tao had heard their snickers a few minutes before, and while he held his expression to one of cool ignorance, he was secretly pleased at Sehun's efforts. He may even have a smiled a bit, just one corner of his mouth unfurling slightly, and Sehun saw it. Oops.

He looked down at his drink instead, pretending that hadn't happened. It was the catalyst, however, for Sehun sitting forward. The human placed his forearms on the table and leaned in, all of a sudden more serious than he'd looked all this day. 

“Tao,” he said earnestly. 

The hybrid didn't respond, but he did meet Sehun's eyes cautiously, and he sat up a little straighter.

“Tao,” Sehun repeated. “What I said about hybrids and... how they.. how they...”

“How and when we die?” Tao supplied glumly in a near whisper, because they were still in a public setting and he didn't really want to talk or think about death in such a nice, mundane place as this.

Sehun took a moment to swallow thickly and then he continued on a strangely wavering voice. “Yes... What I said. I didn't, I didn't really mean it. I mean I did say that but-”

“I think you did mean it,” said Tao, and he swore Sehun turned a shade of green. “But that's okay. I mean it's okay to think that way. I do.” Tao shrugged. “Do you think just because I'm a hybrid that I don't feel that life is unfair as well? I lost my parents too, you know. When I was about the same age as you.”

Sehun reached across the table and took his hand. “I'm sorry about that too. You know... when people say, or rather when kids say they've lost parents at a young age, it usually means they died of something uncommon. It's hard to explain to people that your mom... just because she was a hybrid... so, I got out of the habit of really telling people about her. Because to us it was something we knew anyways; it was normal. ”

“You think hybrids are normal?” Tao lightly, and then immediately apologized, head bowed.

Sehun smiled and he clasped Tao's hand a little tighter. “Normal enough. Normal for them. For... you.”

And there it was. Tao tried to draw back, to retrieve his hand but Sehun held onto it tightly. 

“I didn't mean to ignore the others,” Sehun said before Tao could try again.

“I know...”

“It just... it was hard then and I was really young. I didn't want to watch it happen again. I was mad at my dad for still being able to treat other hybrids as the same. I guess I wanted him to show bitterness in the same why I did. I didn't want to meet others like my mom and have to deal with the same thing. It, became a habit.” 

For a human being, Sehun was decidedly a creature of habit. Maybe that's why they got along so well. Perhaps Sehun had accidentally made Tao part of his habit, but to the hybrid this wasn't exactly a flattering thought. He tried to sit back again, but instead Sehun added his second hand to Tao's, sliding his palm underneath and enclosing it fully and keeping him close.

“You said you weren't any different, Tao. But you are. You aren't and you are,” he said with a frustrated wavering of his head.

Tao made a face, and Sehun hastened to explain.

“Tao, I like you.”

The hybrid stopped struggling and let his hand fall bonelessly against the table, into Sehun's hand, while he struggled to compute.

So Sehun liked him. Tao knew it. He just wasn't prepared to hear it out loud, although those three words did more for his confidence then he would have liked to admit. He supposed he could be callous and ask something stupid like why or so what, but Tao didn't want to. He was tired of being sad and of ignoring things, and he missed Sehun, or at least how easy it had become just to be around Sehun in a short amount of weeks. He was also a creature of habits after all.

“You didn't want to like me though, I think. At first. Am I right?”

At least Sehun had the grace to look ashamed. “I didn't really think about it then...”

“Is that what makes me different then?” asked Tao.

For answer Sehun hung his head, half-smile awkwardly set upon his lips and he nodded a couple of times. His fingers also closed further around Tao's trapped hand and Tao finally allowed their hands to wind together. Tao's tea was probably drinkable now but that didn't matter. Neither did the place anymore, nor the people around them.

Because in the end, he got to ask his question after all. ”So what now?” 

“I don't know,” said Sehun honestly. “Want to find out though?”

As a certified hybrid-social worker, cat counselor, friend and neighbor, Joonmyun felt completely useless, a failure. He'd worked with hybrids and humans for most of his adult life and considered himself reasonably good at his job. He liked doing it, and that was why. Yixing had often chided him that he liked it too much, that Joonmyun was almost too nice, too friendly, too open. That people weren't usually like that and so when skittish hybrids met him they distrusted his warm smile and easy manners. Surely no one was that good. Surely he had other intentions than wanting to just be their friend?

But then Yixing said a lot of crap when he thought it would make Joonmyun smile. Over a decade of working with his friend made them transparent before each other. Joonmyun craved his counsel and treasured their relationship. He wondered what Yixing would have said though if Joonmyun told him about his current situation. Or if perhaps the old man already knew?

Because just this once, Yixing's joke may have been right. Joonmyun did have other intentions. He smiled to cajole and he counseled with ulterior motives, and just this once Joonmyun's techniques may have failed him. He couldn't get through to Kyungsoo, couldn't make him open up, and part of him had grown complacent with his failures. 

He'd never expected anything to change. Never expected to see Kyungsoo so raving drunk that he'd offer himself up to Joonmyun, or that he'd cry and flail when Joonmyun refused, and then steadfastly ignore him for days. Kyungsoo's apology hurt even worse, now that he guessed there was something much more going on inside the bristly cat and underneath his steely exterior. Something to do with... him? Joonmyun didn't, however, dare to presume anything more. Not outwardly, not to Kyungsoo's face, and almost... not even in the deep imaginings of Joonmyun's mind. He couldn't afford such doubts. Or hopes.

For this reason he was torn hopelessly over the situation going on in the other house: Kai's blow up, Tao and Sehun's presumed separation, all the other moody hybrids who'd scattered to their own parts of the house. Joonmyun didn't even know why exactly Kyungsoo was so upset until Kai halfway told him, shamefully and with deep embarrassment. The initiator of everything bad that day had surprisingly been the only cat to seek Joonmyun out. And so Joonmyun fretted about Kyungsoo, as only he could.

He wasn't prepared for the ring of his doorbell. And definitely nothing could prepare him for the sight of Kyungsoo standing before him, less doubtful today as he was the last time, and wearing a backpack stuffed to the brim.

“Hello,” said the cat nicely, while Joonmyun had a heart attack. 

Kyungsoo smiled, no teeth, but he looked sheepishly inward, silently asking if he could come in. Without saying a word, Joonmyun backed away from the doorway and allowed him in. He closed the door softly, as if afraid Kyungsoo might run away if it slammed. 

“Hi,” he managed finally. Joonmyun eyed Kyungsoo's backpack slyly as the hybrid slid it from his shoulders. It landed in a soft thunk by the couch and Kyungsoo caught him looking. Joonmyun pointedly ignored it after that and instead he focused on easing his expression into his finest, most professional counselor-smile. ”W-What can I do for you?” He almost succeeded.

Kyungsoo stared at the carpet, then up at Joonmyun. He toed his backpack and every awkward posture Joonmyun had ever seen on Kyungsoo's face appeared suddenly with a vengeance. “I want to move in.”

Joonmyun forgot how to breathe. The day had finally come, but he didn't know how to trust it. Was this a dream? Had he fallen asleep dreaming? He heard the clock ticking in an otherwise silent room and figured he probably wasn't dreaming if time hadn't necessarily come to a stop. Something about this then was real.

“I want to move in,” Kyungsoo repeated, a little louder this time although his voice was still laced with nervous indecision. Joonmyun continued to stare at him, and Kyungsoo nearly faltered. “C-can I?”

“Why...” whispered Joonmyun.

“Because... I want to...” 

(“I'd rather somebody lived with me because they want to, not because they have to.”)

Joonmyun's old words stood between them. 

Suddenly Joonmyun understood the significance of the backpack. Kyungsoo wasn't bringing him something to show. He also wasn't running away. He was bringing his things. He was moving in. Or at least he wanted to. 

“Why?” Joonmyun asked again. What he meant was, 'Why now and why on earth do you really want to live with me?' He didn't dare say it that way though. He still didn't dare to hope. 

“I thought, perhaps... that you had offered before...” Kyungsoo uttered nervously. His eyes were large and round, but he chewed on his lower lip indecisively, and suddenly Joonmyun got the distinct impression that he was about to retract everything and flee. 

“I did,” he said quickly, and inside his brain he warred with himself. No, he hadn't, not exactly, but that wasn't the point anymore. Or was it?

“Okay,” said Kyungsoo, slightly relieved. “I brought some of my things...”

“You want to move in today?” Joonmyun asked.

“Yes... if I can. Do you have a spare bedroom?”

“Yes. Yes, of course. It's... well it's kind of similar to the other house. It's uh... here. Through here.” He walked like his life depended on it.

Kyungsoo picked up his backpack and followed him down the hall. It really was a similar floor plan to the other house, but where the hallway there veered off into a bathroom and the room Kyungsoo had been using for a computer room, here it separated into a master bedroom, bathroom, and a room of exactly the same proportions. Instead of a desk and mismatching loveseats, however, it had a tiny little bed that hadn't been used in years, a window, a few chairs and random boxes Joonmyun didn't have any other place for.

He hadn't even dusted it in a few months, and the carpet looked sad. Because it wasn't really a room to live in, but more like a place to stash visitors when they arrived. A few of Joonmyun's siblings had stayed here for a night or two, one old college buddy he hadn't seen in several years, and once even a teenage Sehun had crashed here for a couple days when he'd had the misfortune to pick a fight with his father but hadn't dared to really run away, not truly.

It wasn't a room to put a cat, unless that cat was a real one, like Joonmyun's grey tabby who was sleeping in the window even now. It wasn't a place though for a hybrid. Whether that hybrid belonged to Joonmyun or not. 

Kyungsoo, however, seemed pleased. It made Joonmyun's heart simultaneously freeze and palpitate. What does this mean? he wanted so desperately to ask. And what happens from here?

“I'm sorry... it's not much.”

“No, no it's great,” said Kyungsoo.

“That's good. Uhm, so... what can I... do you... need me to do anything?”

“Do you happen to have a dresser or something? Closet?” Kyungsoo was already walking over to inspect the closet. “Oh, never mind. It's empty already. That's good.”

Would it be indecorous for a grown man to crawl away and hole up in a toilet or something to call Yixing? Joonmyun wondered. He just wanted to panic out loud.  Kyungsoo could explore the house and make himself familiar with everything while Joonmyun tried to figure out whatever the hell was going on. Instead he just gulped and tried to keep breathing evenly.

“You... you're looking at me funny,” said Kyungsoo before Joonmyun could recover. “Is this, really okay?” he asked then.

And Joonmyun wanted to sob. Instead he remembered who he was and he forced himself to be strong and to smile, and by the time he said, “Yes, of course,” he practically believed himself. 

Kyungsoo sighed once again in relief. He dropped his backpack on the foot of the bed and sat down onto it. The mattress bounced and squeaked on its springs and Kyungsoo smiled finally, testing it out. Joonmyun wondered if he should leave and give Kyungsoo time to settle in, but the hybrid was suddenly so radiant before him. His ears stood up in an excited way, and his tail twitched from happiness and Joonmyun knew in that moment that he was doing the right thing for Kyungsoo - whatever it was he was doing. He just wasn't sure it was the best thing for himself. 

In any case, Joonmyun couldn't make his knees unlock and turn away. He leaned in the doorway with his arms folded gently across his chest and it wasn't until Kyungsoo caught him smiling wistfully down at him that the hybrid said anything else.

“Thanks,” he said. “I... I've been wanting to get out for a while now. I won't be a bother, I promise. If you want, I'll get a job and pay you something for rent. I can also help out and I can cook and do house stuff. Unless of course you want me to stay out of your way, in which case I can be super silent and you won't even know I'm here-”

“No, no that isn't... you don't have to do that,” interrupted Joonmyun. 

Kyungsoo looked confused and nervous again. “I don't have to do any of what?”

Anything, Joonmyun wanted to say. Anything at all. Don't work and don't force yourself to do chores because you feel like you owe me, and please don't hide away as if I don't want to see you.

However, it would be condescending probably to tell Kyungsoo he didn't have to earn his keep. The hybrid probably wouldn't appreciate that sort of rejection, but Joonmyun could leave it for a while. “You don't have to hide away. If you live here, then it's your house too. You're allowed to do what you want.”

Spoken like a good uncle, Joonmyun hoped. And still his heart was starting to burn from the inside out.

“Thank you, Joonmyun.”

It was the first time in a long while that Joonmyun had heard his name out of the hybrid's lips. It was also probably the softest, gentlest, and most affectionate tone that Kyungsoo had ever used on him. 

“No problem. Just tell me what I can do to help you adjust, yes?” Joonmyun said.

“Thank you,” said Kyungsoo again. “Okay then: I uhm... like to eat promptly for breakfast and dinner. Lunch can be whenever. I definitely like to take uninterrupted naps from between 10:00 am and noon, from 1:30 until 4:00, and again from 8:00 pm until 7:00 am. Then again, if I wake up in the middle of the night to do something, just ignore me. I don't like visitors I'm not expecting, especially Chanyeol, and I absolutely won't answer the telephone so please don't ask me to. I won't take showers, so the bathtub better be kept cleanish or else I'll never take a bath either...”

Joonmyun was starting to develop lockjaw, and still Kyungsoo continued.

“I'd like a faster working computer, and please don't snoop, or tell me who I can or cannot talk to online. Mess with my bed, and you die. You can pet my left ear, but not my right, and don't you dare touch my tail unless I'm conscious and say it's okay, else I won't be held responsible for any possible, violent consequences. I also don't like people touching my tummy.” He stopped speaking then just as abruptly as he'd started.

“I... uhm....” Joonmyun choked.

An awkward silence hung about the room. Kyungsoo held his gaze and his legs bobbed slightly against the floor and bed, while Joonmyun continued to gape.

“Okay, most of that was a joke,” Kyungsoo confessed. “But I'm definitely not joking about my ears, tail and... tummy, so...” He looked suddenly extremely self-conscious, and this time he averted his eyes and stared at the carpet. 

Somehow Joonmyun managed something in between a chuckle and a moan of despair. “Alright... alright then.” He tried to smile, and Kyungsoo shyly met his eyes, head still lowered. “Is... is that everything you own?” Joonmyun decided to ask instead. He nodded towards Kyungsoo's backpack.

Kyungsoo preened in relief. “Oh, no it's not everything. I have another suitcase and some things at the other house. But I didn't want to bring everything in case you turned me down so...”

Joonmyun exhaled slowly, and then offered to go over and help Kyungsoo fetch the last of his things.

3,595 words

Hmm hmm... what have we got going along here?

I decided Taohun needed a restart. Don't you think they needed a restart? A slow, barely there pumping heart monitor but steady after all this time. Or perhaps for the first time ever.

Sudo now though... LOL. Please don't hit me. I swear this a development in the right direction! After all, Kyungsoo has basically given Joonmyun permission to pet his ears. Or at least, his left ear. And his tail. Sometimes. :p

I'm sorry this chapter is marginally shorter than the last few, but there was only so much that could happen here under these perspectives. Sehun's chapter is next though. A full blown chapter and not a dinky little paragraph with a few of his thoughts only. Get ready for it.

<3 Rosie