This is my life. I'm just a park-ing-chanyeol. I hate my life so much that I wish I could kill myself. I hate how this life is so cruel to me and like it is laughing to me now. 

 

 

 

 

It was four years ago. Its not that like I hate my life so much. I used to love someone. It was the first time I felt my heart beating fast. Indeed so fast that my heart could burst out my chest. 

 

 

 

 

 

His name is Byun Baekhyun. He's the one that I love. The one that I would like to protect and the one who I'd give all the world. The first time we met was when we still studying at the same college. I was his senior back then and he was my junior. It was a coincident during our first meeting. I was rushing to get to my class. So I ended up running so fast. I'm running without looking there's a cute boy was standing still in front of me while holding a bunch of books. And I crashed him. We collided and fell.

 

 

 

"Ouch. It hurts." The boy groaned in pain.

 

 

 

"I-im sorry. I'm in rush to enter my class." I apologized for my foolish clumsiness.

 

 

 

I helped the boy to get up and brushed all the dust.

 

 

 

"Are you still hurt?" I asked.

 

 

 

"No. I'm okay. Thank God no injuries." He smiled.

 

 

 

"Fuhh! Good to hear that. Oh by the way I'm Chanyeol. Park Chanyeol." I greeted him and shaked his hand.

 

 

 

"I'm Byun Baekhyun. Nice to meet you." He smiled again.

 

 

 

That was the first time ever I fell in love to someone. His smile did melt my heart. After the incident, we've become more closer and closer. He went to the amusement park, movie theatre and beaches. Each day I fell for him deeper and deeper. So, in the end I ended up to make a decision. I want to have him as my soul mate. I want to make him as my boyfriend. I planned everything to confess him. It was a night after the last day of my graduation. 

 

 

 

 

"Byun Baekhyun-ssi. Hmm.. Can I say something?" I asked him. 

 

 

 

I'm too nervous back then. My stomach won't stop rumblings like there were too many butterflies in my stomach.

 

 

 

"Yes Hyung. What is it?" He turned his face looking at me. 

 

 

 

"D-do you..m d-do you.. Want.." Oh god. I stuttered.

 

 

 

"Do I what Hyung. Tell me now. You made me worried. Haha." He grinned.

 

 

 

"D-do you wanna be my boyfriend. I mean. I love you since the first day we bumped into each other. And since that I realized you're the one in my heart." I lowered my head looking at the down of the bench.

 

 

 

I thought he will run away leaving me alone. But his actioned made my heart beats even faster. He gently cupped my chin and lifted it up facing his eyes. Slowly, his lips was pressing on mine. 

 

 

 

 

Since that day, we've become a great couple. We went to the amusement park, watching movies and even went for a holiday just both of us. It was so nice and I was so happy back then. But there's one thing we really didn't do. We never had . The only worse thing was we just did a to each other. Nothing more than that. Well its not that like I'm scared. Neither him. It just that I decided that I will make love to him after we're officially married. Baekhyun agreed with me. However that things won't become true after all. After 1 year and half of dating him, it was the day when I'm back from work. We lived in the same house though. 

 

 

 

 

I smile as I climbing up my room. Our room to be precise. I opened the room and said.

 

 

 

 

"Honey I'm home... I miss y-..." I couldn't finished my words. 

 

 

 

What I saw almost shocked me to death. Baekhyun was bottom of a guy. Both were and I barely could see the guy's was ing Baekhyun's like so hard. My tears suddenly sprang down. 

 

 

 

" you . If only I know you a . I wouldn't date you. We're over. Go to hell with your life." I shouted to him. I climbed down the basement and leave the house. I could hear the sound of Baekhyun calling and shouting for my names but its all useless. I hate him to the death. 

 

 

 

 

Well, that's why now, in present day, I felt so gloomy. And that's the reason why I hate my life so much. I be a very hot tempered guy and alone is my best friend. 

 

 

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

 

 

It was the same gloomy day for me. As I get up from my bed and walk to my bathroom. I did everything that almost the same with my routines. I walked down the basement where I found my mom is preparing the breakfast. 

 

 

 

 

"Morning mom" I greeted her.

 

 

 

"Breakfast?" She asked.

 

 

 

I shook my head.

 

 

 

"No, I'm going to my favorite cafe for breakfast. Bye mom." I smiled.

 

 

 

I kissed her cheeks and went out the house to get to the cafe.  

 

 

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

 

I enter the cafe as I pushed the opening door gently. I walked near my favorite seat and placed my on the chair there. 

 

 

 

A waiter comes approaching me. 

 

 

 

"Good morning sir. What's your order?" He smiled.

 

 

 

"Give me the usual pancake I used to eat and white coffee." I ordered without even looking at his face.

 

 

 

The moment the waiter vanished from my sights, I focused on my ipad. I'm doing a bit of my delayed works. 

 

 

 

As soon as the waiter comes with my food and drink, he placed the servings on the table. 

 

 

 

"Enjoy sir." The waiter said and gone.

 

 

 

Without looking at the food, I scooped a small pieces of the pancake and put it inside my mouth. After chewing it a few bites, I found this weird taste. Its not the same taste of bitter melted dark chocolate. I immediately look at the pancake. 

 

 

 

 

, its not topping with melted dark chocolate sauce. Instead, it was topping with honey maple syrup sauce. I cursed everything in my mind. But somehow, it taste delicious. I never thought I will have to say that its sweet and delicious. But I don't care. This is totally wrong. There's no room for sweetness to me. 

 

 

 

I shouted for the waiter.

 

 

"Yah! Don't you heard me. I said clearly right that I want my favorite pancake. What a you gave me huh?" 

 

 

The waiter comes closer to me.

 

 

"I'm sorry sir. But I did sent the note to the chef about your order." The waiter lowered his head down. 

 

 

"Bring out your stupid chef right now." I said in a harsh tone. 

 

 

"O-okay sir."

 

 

 The waiter bowed and went inside the kitchen. 

 

 

Oh God. This is so annoying. I really hate a mistake. Even a simple mistake. My temper is rising up. 

 

 

 

Then slowly I heard footsteps and there comes the waiter with a very short boy. But I can't see the chef face as his head are lowered facing the floor

 

 

"So, this is your chef huh?" I burst my anger out.

 

 

"Y-yes.. I-its me sir." The chef guy still not staring at me.

 

 

"Are you stupid or idiot? Your waiter said that he gave you my order already and you've split it. I said I want my favorite pancake. My order is a warm pancake with a melted dark chocolate not with honey maple syrup you stupid ." I said in a harsh words.

 

 

 

I stare him but this guy is ing irritating me by not facing me during whatever I said. So I cupped his chin and lifted up facing my handsome face. 

 

 

The moment I stare at his face. Oh god. Its like an electric current is flowing inside my body. My nerves moves upwards to my brain and I froze. 

 

 

This guy was... I don't know what to say. His milky and fair skin, his thin and red lips that almost looking like a heart shaped, his almost plump cheeks, and his big round eyes. Oh God. Why I described him so sudden. I earth on. 

 

 

"I-i-i'm so sorry sir. I'm a new chef here. I-i thought it would be honey maple syrup flavor. Once again I'm sorry sir. I make a new one special for you." He apologized.

 

 

His eyes seems a bit watery. But I don't know why somehow his voice apologizing me indeed hurts me inside. Does I hurt him with my harsh words? Oh why I felt like this. 

 

 

The chef wanted to go but I immediately grab his hand. He turns around. 

 

 

"I-im so sorry sir. Please don't report me to my manager. I need this job." His watery eyes looks like it will sprang the tears in any moment.

 

 

"Sit." I ordered him to sit in front me. 

 

 

"B-but sir... I need to make you a new one." He said with a worry tone.

 

 

"No need. I ordered you to sit. Just do as I told you so." I put on my serious look.

 

 

The short boy sits immediately. His face looks like a very scared young boy who is waiting to beat up by his father for his mistake. 

 

 

"W-what can I do for you sir." Kyungsoo stuttered.

 

 

Oh God. This boy sure looks even cute in a closer way. 

 

 

"Eat it up." I asked him to eat the pancake.

 

 

The doe boy shocked and his big round eyes widened. 

 

 

"Y-you want me to eat this?" He's pointing at the pancake.

 

 

 

"Yeah. Since it will be a waste to be thrown away in rubbish then why not you eat it." I said with a serious face. 

 

 

To my surprise, I thought this kid will argue more but he's just keep on silent and eat the pancake. 

 

 

"So, I guess you're like it huh?" I asked in lame face.

 

 

"Yeah. Its sweet and just nice." The boy chuckled.

 

 

"It looks like you really like sweet things." I said just to kill the mood. 

 

 

"Well I guess so. Life is sweet too. I mean. Everyone would think their life are full of sweets and fluffiness. They're more sweeter than this sweet honey maple syrup." The boy smiled.

 

 

"Well I don't think so. There's no such a thing that considered life is sweet. You might forgot there's sometimes life is bitter too. Like dark chocolate. Its bitter though its name is chocolate." I spoke of my thought.

 

 

 

"Hmm.. It looks like you're never tasted some sweets don't you?" He asked me and smirked.

 

 

" I've used to like it once. But I want to forgot everything regarding the sweet things. I hate it so much. In fact I just tasted it just now when you're disordered my order. It taste so bad. I hate it." I smirked.

 

 

"Then how about this?" 

 

 

The boy stood up and get his face closer to mine. He slowly and gently pressing his pure lips on mine. I can feel his breath on my face. His tongue slowly pressing my lips and it enters my mouth. I shocked. and to be effected, I'm froze.

 

 

 

"So, how does it tastes sir? Its sweet right? Hehe.." The kid beamed happily.

 

 

 

When I snap out, I found that my heart skips a beat. It then beats even faster. My face feel warm and my cheeks turn to red. My body shivering and warm. Its the same.. The same like I've used to feel four years ago. And... And... It happened again this time with this boy.. Oh .. I hate myself so much. I hate him..

 

 

 

"YAH!!! How... How could you.. You're son of .. You're such a ert. This is a ual harassment. I'll sue you for kissing me in public without my willing." I shouted at him. 

 

 

"I-im so sorry.. I don't know what I've just done. I mean.. Its like I'm possessed to do it.. I'm so sorry sir. Forgive me. Don't sue me please. I'll do anything you want. I'm begging you sir." The boy begging for my mercy. He lowered his head down.

 

 

 

I turn my face looking at him. I let out a big sigh. 

 

 

 

"Well then be my slave for a week." I told him. 

 

 

The boy immediately chin up and looking at me. 

 

 

"T-thank you sir... I'll be a good slave to you for a week then.." The boy smiled and stood up. He then quickly come closer to me and gives me a tight hug. 

 

 

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

 

The boy only can come to my house after his work shift in the cafe. Which is, every evening, he will comes to my apartment to