June, 2011

            A wedding day.

            The marbled floors shone through as feet shuffled here and there. Utensils clanked every now and then, floors screeched when in contact with wheels, and voices sounded through the halls loudly. The place was bustling with activity, and panic and excitement sounded through every corner of the reception hall.

            Her wedding day.

            But Amber, seated comfortably at the cold, marbled floor, was oblivious of all of this.

            She adjusted the heavy fabric beneath her legs, feeling the itchy sensation scratch up the back of her knees. She always hated dressing up- she never really liked the whole process- but today was a special exception.

            She felt her breathing increase rapidly as the oxygen on her personal haven decreased, and her lungs struggled to preserve the remaining gulps of air.

            The underside of tables, she figures, has always been the best place to hide.

            She doesn’t really know what she’s doing- she’s even unsure if she should be panicking like her wedding planner because of her absence- or why she chose to hide under the buffet table in the first place.

            Maybe it’s because of the jitters- every bride would have one every now and then- or maybe it was something wholly different that she has no intention of exploring.

            “Amber?”

            She heard a voice call her name- the same voice, familiar, comforting, lovely even- from the turmoil outside. Then suddenly, a muscular hand slowly lifted her soft, white walls of comfort, and small chinky eyes and a smile greeted her.

            “Found you”

....

June, 1991

            She was eight and she was a flower girl.

            Her loud, shrill laugh sounded through the halls as her pink gown softly grazed the marbled floor. Her brown hair was sticking out at awkward places. She held the slightly itchy fabric in her hands as she made her way through legs and different kinds of fabric, an awkward boy in glasses running behind her.

            Treading her way through the buffet table, she roughly lifted the organza silk and crept through the little space that in her eight year old self, seemed to be a humongous cave of fantasies.

            “Amber!”

            She giggled in delight at the voice and huddled closer to the walls. Suddenly, two small hands reached out to lift the tablecloth, and not long enough a pair of bespectacled eyes greeted her.

            “Found you”

            She laughed loudly in surprise and let a shriek escape her lips, as he settled down beside her. They laughed like it was their own world, like there were no adults loittering around outside their walls of comfort.

            “I’m going to marry you someday, by the way” he said, with all that his eight year old self could, glasses askew and teeth missing front ones.

            But that promise, even though said through the innocent eyes of an eight year old, will forever get stucked in that little brain of his.

...

            June, 2011

            “So, what are we doing here?”

            He asks with his slightly raspy voice as he sat beside her, his feet slightly jutting out with her pair of pump-claded feet.

            “Figured you would be here. Never changed from eight, huh?”

            She laughed lightly at the statement, and gathered his hands into hers, as her eyes twinkled in delight.

            “Some things just never change, Henry.”

...

February, 1999

            She was 16 and she hated her junior prom.

            She let her feet dangle on nothing but free space, as she let her eyes brawl away.Her mascara was all over her face, her red lipstick already faded, and a few sequins were falling off from her pink dress, but she couldn’t care less.

            She was 16 and she just got heart broken, by the man she thought she would someday marry.

            “Figured you’d be here”

            A voice- familiar and comfortable- boomed from her back, and she saw her bespectacled best friend, hair slightly dishevelled by the wind. He was still the same nerd she grew up with- knowledgeable, dorky.

            “Are you here to laugh at me too?” she asked through sniffles, as her short hair blew with the wind and her nose got redder because of the cold. “You know I don’t need your fatherly advices right now”

            He hoisted his glasses higher up the bridge of his nose and slightly chuckled. “You know, if you still want to, I still want to marry you someday” he said with a smirk as the night breeze once again blew softly around them. “You could just ditch that hell of a scumbag and show him Amber Liu doesn’t give a damn”

            She laughed at his statements and felt the friendship well up inside her. As her feet dangled once again on the free space below them, she reaches out to give him a hug. “You’re a great friend Henry. Thanks for everything” she says, sincerely.

            “I’m glad I’m your friend”

            He answers, although not as sincerely as she did.

....

            June, 2011

            They were caved inside the buffet table, eyes blind of the shuffling feet outside and ears oblivious of voices and objects clanking outside. All they cared about is the comfort that they shared, as she fiddled with the material that constitute her gown.

            “It’s beautiful” he comments, as he took her hands into his, and fiddled with the ring glimming in her ring finger. It shone against the minimum light entering their little haven, but still, it blinded him to no end.

            “Just like how I imagined it would be” he said with a smile, as her musical laugh followed.

...

December, 2003

            She was 20 and for the first time, she had regretted every move she did in her life.

            There he was, hands rested on her waist, his other hand slowly caressing the back of her neck. He ditched the glasses a long time ago by the way, after he figured out it was a one way ticket to stereotyping.

            His lips were into hers, smoothly exploring every turn of it, much to her surprise.

            After that, he slapped him in the face. And found herself starting to cry. “Henry, you’re a jerk” she says with a slight sniff, as his hands shot up to touch the mark that she so graciously left.

            That night, she cried a river, as she thought of how wrong everything was or how ruined their friendship has become.

....

February, 2005

            She was 23, and after three years, she was finally reunited with her best friend.

            He held a cup of coffee in his hands, his eyes (now bespectacled again, she notices. But not with the nerdy aura that it was always with before)scanned the building in front of them. He was wearing a suit and black, polished shoes that was nothing of the Henry she knew before.

            “So how’s Mr. Architect going?” she asks with an identical cup of coffee in her hands, as her pumps clanked the marbled floor one by one. “Still stuck in that same dream?”

            He was clearly startled at her sudden appearance, and for a minute or so, he just stood there and took in her every angle. She was still sporting that short hair style (assymetrical bangs covering half her eyes) but she now exuded an air of professionalism.

            “What dream? The one on designing a building in Seoul or the one about marrying you?”

            She laughed at the remark, and once again, welcomed back her old friend in her life.

....

            May, 2006

            She was 24, and she was in love.

            He laughs, she smiles. He touches, she squeezes back. He gives her these little, spontaneous kisses, and she shyly smiles back and tells him he’s an idiot.

            They were neither friends, nor are they lovers.

            They’re in that blurry partition between I love you’s and flirtatious like you’s.

            And in the end, nothing works out the way they wanted it to.

...

            May, 2008

            She was 25, and for the first time in her life, she was running for something that she truly wants.

            Her feet were slightly swollen, her hair was sticking out in awkward places, but she didn’t care even one bit. All she thought about was catching that plane, or just simply, catching him back.

            It took her 17 years to figure it out, and she won’t take even a slightest mistake of losing it.

            But turns out everything was too late.

            Before she knew it, the plane was zooming past her and he was gone.

...

            January, 2011

            She was 26, and a two years later, he sees him once again.

            He aged, she notices, like the way she did too. But he still had that aura of familiarity and comfort, that through time, she figured she missed a lot.

            “I missed you” she speaks first, as her hands wrapped around his body, caging him in a tight embrace. “I just missed you”

            She was still the eight year old kid that he fell in love with, the 16 year old teenager that he comforted, the 20 year old that he kissed, the 23 year old manager that he left, and the girl that up until now, has been the one woman he thinks is truly beautiful.

            “I missed you too”

...

            June, 2011

            A wedding day.

            27 years in this earth, and here she was, on one of the most important events of her life.

            Her wedding day.

            “It’s still all so surreal to me”

            She murmurs against the chattering and various sounds around them, and he, still there all this time, never left her side, smiled slightly while his fingers still fiddled with the ring in her finger.

            “Aren’t all brides like that before the big day?” he asks, reassuring her.

            She took a deep breath and scratched her legs lightly. Her head felt a million times heavier than before, as the veil touched her softly. She tried hiding the shaking of her voice, or the jitters that scared her to death but she can’t.

            But if there was one thing Amber Liu has always been frightened of, it was fear itself.

            “I’m afraid, Henry” she finally admits, as her eyes struggled to keep the tears from flowing and her fingers moved faster and faster by the minute. “I’m afraid everything. Or if my vows aren’t enough, or if the seats are too little, or if I trip on my way to the altar or- of- of the future. I’m afraid of what might happen after this, or if everything turns out to be a mistake, or if I’m making the worst decision I’ve ever made in my life. I’m just so unsure of everything”

            He stares at her for a minute, from her big, and fearful eyes to the way her hair was slightly tousled to the ring resting on her finger. He took in every detail of her appearance, and took time to see over everything that constitue her.

            He wanted to shout. He wanted to scream. He wanted to take her in his arms and tell her what if; What if.

            What if it could’ve been us? What if you did catch that plane? What if he never came to your life and I came back to find you once again?

            What if this could’ve been our happy ending?

            But he didn’t. And he won’t. Not when the bride is just an inch away from running from her own wedding.

            “Can’t we just go back at being eight again and joke about getting married?” she adds.

            He laughed lightly at her reaction and took her hand in his, encircling his own on it, giving her reassurance.

            “What if’s are very frightening words, Amber, I know. I’ve had enough of those to regret for a life time. So don’t go wasting chances like I did. Life’s too short for regrets after all. The world is so beautiful to let yourself get held back by fear”

            He knowingly said, as he curled her hand into a ball, patted it reassuringly, and looked at her straight in the eyes.

            “This is where you’re supposed to be, and I’m not the best man just so I could let you flee to another country.”

            She chuckled lightly at his words, the worry and doubt slowly fading into nothingness inside her.

            Now, she is sure.

            “I love him. I’m getting married” she chants.

            He patted her head softly and gave her a reassuring smile.

            “That’s my girl”

            He slowly stood up from the marbled floors of her reception hall, and held out his hand to get her standing up. “Come on, you still have twenty minutes”

            She takes his hands and stands up, now greeted by the mass of people looming around, busy preparing her wedding. She smoothed down her gown and took a big breath of satisfaction, and once again took his hand and squeezed it.

            “Thanks Henry, I’m still glad you’re my friend”

            He squeezes back hers, and gives her a smile.

            And with that, she turns around with a newly found confidence, and back to reality.

            He laughed at his self, ran his fingers through his carefully styled hair, and back to the pockets of his black pants that he so graciously ironed just so he could fulfill his role as the best man.

            “What if’s really are scary words”

            He muses, as he watched her retreating back fade away.

            I’ll miss you, Amber Liu.

            The bride was happy, everyone was gushing over how romantic the vows are or how delicious the food are or how beautiful the bride and the groom are together.

            “So, you a friend of the bride?” a lady, no older than he is, stood in front of him with a glass of champagne in one hand.

            “Kind of. It’s a long story” he answers.

            “Tell me” she answers too eagerly as she took the unoccupied seat beside him. “I like stories”

            Just then, his eyes travelled to the bride, heavenly dressed in white, smiling at everyone and looking fondly at her groom, with the happiest eyes he had ever seen her have.

            She is 27, but in his eyes, she was still the eight year old kid that he fell in love with, the 16 year old teenager that he comforted, the 20 year old that he kissed, the 23 year old manager that he left, and the girl that up until now, has been the one woman he thinks is truly beautiful.

            “Well, there was this girl I wanted to marry when I was eight......”

            And she now lives happily ever after.

-end-