It’s night again and Jong Kook just could dream about her again. Every time he closes his eyes, he sees her smile but she doesn’t smile for him. He closed his eyes, trying to sleep, but all he could see is her smile. He knew for some obvious reasons, his love for her would never reach her heart. Even though her heart was his but his heart was never hers. He never had her love and maybe he never would.

He could lie awake every night, just thinking about her. Thinking that maybe she loved him too, thinking that maybe she loved him like he has always loved her, thinking how happy he would be. Yet again, he knew it wasn’t going to happen.

The end of the variety show they did together meant the end of their friendship too. For all this time, he could just see her, support her from a far. She didn’t even see him in the eyes and it hurt him a lot. Maybe she was shy, maybe she didn’t like him, he would never know. All that was left of her was a memory that he would never forget. How happy she was when they won a mission, how happy she was when she told the members that she got a main role for a drama. She was happy and he was happy for her too. As long as she’s happy, he said to himself.

It felt so different to love her. She wasn’t his first love but she was the first person that he truly loved. She was the person that made him to be so in love, to have someone there yet feel so alone. He felt so close but so far away from her. He wanted to tell her that he