Every one of her loved ones was around when the doctor delivered the news. She stared impassively at the old man as he explained that when the accident happened, the window glass were smattered into thousands of pieces and one of them had lodged itself on , doing severe damage to her larynx.

She would never speak again

She continued to stare ahead listlessly when her older brother jumped out from his chair to grab the doctor’s collar and shoved him backwards, demanding for the doctor to do something, anything. Minseok oppa always did have a short temper.

She heard her mother crying quietly on the corner, somewhere where she couldn’t see her, and her father’s low, deep voice as he tried to calm her down.

She felt a hand grasping hers gently, the warm touch so familiar to her and she turned her head to look at her boyfriend, her fiancé, the man she’d promised to spend the rest of her life with and for a moment her heart was filled with the complete love and affection she had for him..

Yixing’s smile was strained around the edges, his dimple that she so loves was non-existent and there was a glaze of tears in his eyes that barely mask the pain and concern etched there.

She opened , an automatic reaction by now, ready to offer some comfort to erase the frown on his forehead. ‘I’m okay,’ she tried to speak, but no words came out and the harsh truth of reality finally came barreling down on her in waves.

Suddenly it was hard to even breathe and she gulped down air, forcing them into her lungs, feeling the cold sweat running on her back.

The grip on her hand tightened to the point that it hurt, but she let it. Leaning back into the pillows she closed her eyes, refusing to listen to the various sounds of crying echoing in the room intercepted by low, hushing words, and angry, desperate pleads thrown harshly.

The last thing MiCha thought about before falling asleep was how ironic it was, that the window glass of the car that was supposed to protect her from outside was what did her in.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

They thought she was sleeping and couldn’t hear them. But the door was cracked open a bit and she can hear their conversation from outside her room.

“Why must this happen to her?”

Her mother’s usually soft voice sounded hoarse and raw, as if she had been crying the whole time and MiCha felt guilt climbing up for putting her mother through this.

“This is my fault, umma. I should’ve driven her to work instead of letting her drive herself.”

It was her brother who answered, guilt coloring his words and MiCha shook her head furiously even though no one could see her.

“It’s not your fault, Minseok. What is done is done. This is no one’s fault.”

A deep, low voice answered her brother and MiCha can almost see her father clapping her brother’s back through the wall.        

“She hasn’t cried ever since they told us, not even once.” Her mother tried to muffle her sobs, but MiCha could still hear her clearly. “I don’t know what to do to help her.”

“Ssh, dear. We’ll get through this together.” Her father had always been strong, the rock pillar of their family.

“This is not fair!”

A loud punching sound was heard next and MiCha knew her brother must’ve punched the wall in his frustration.

A few silent seconds elapsed before a voice she knew so well spoke up, soft and gentle with an almost undistinguishable lilting accent.

“Life is often not fair.”

Yixing sounded exhausted, and even without seeing him she can picture the dark circles under his eyes, the tired lines grazing his handsome face.

MiCha clenched her fingers into her pillow. She wanted to scream at them to stop talking, that she could hear everything perfectly because she was mute, not deaf.

But she can’t.

She. Can’t.

She was mute.

So she held the pillow tighter and let her tears ran down to soak it.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Her mother went to the market every day, carefully selecting each and every ingredient to make her favorite foods ever since she had been released from the hospital.

“How is it, dear?” she would ask at every meal.

MiCha just nodded, swallowing the food down with difficulty, painfully conscious of the scarf tied around her neck to cover the ugly scar. She continued to eat as her mother watched on, following every movement of the chopsticks with her eyes.

“I added more pepper since I know you like them like that. It’s better, right?” her mother continued to talk on. “I was thinking of trying a new recipe for tomorrow’s meal, like the one your grandmother used to make. You’d always like them. What do you think?”

She shrugged. When she was done she stood up to leave and tried to smile, the only way she can thank her mother these days.

She pretended she didn’t hear her mother’s sobs when she closed the door of her room behind her.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Her father took her outside to tend their lawn, something they had both loved doing in the past. He had come equipped with every gardening tool and seeds they could ever needed before pulling her from her room and dragged her out of the house.

“I was thinking that the hedges need some t, and we could plant some tulips, what do you think?” he offered her a pair of gardening gloves.

MiCha shrugged but took the gloves, putting it on deftly. Taking the small bag of seed from her father’s side, she walked towards the corner of their lawn. Once she reached the flower garden she bended down and began to till the soil, her father crouching besides her.

“Look MiCha, the white roses had bloomed overnight. Aren’t those your favorites?” He pointed to the shrubs of plants.

She took off her glove to caress the soft petals, inhaling their fragrant scents. A thorn pricked her finger and opened up to gasp in pain and surprise, but no sound came out.

She looked away so she won’t have to see her father’s teary eyes.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Her brother bought her sweets and candies and chocolates every day, grumbling that she would bankrupt him but still continued to buy them.

“Where do all those sweets go to, huh MiCha?” Minseok asked as he watched her opened the second bar of chocolates. “By the amount of candies you’ve eaten, you should’ve weight like an elephant by now, not to mention having cavities!”

MiCha shrugged as she broke off a small piece of the sweets and popped it into , letting it melt slowly as she chewed it. Minseok slung his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close, leaning his head down on hers.

“What happened to your smiles, MiCha? What happened to your laughter?” he whispered into her hair.

She stopped her chewing and reached out her arms, wiggling her fingers to make a flying gesture.

‘It went away with my voice, oppa’.

Minseok began to rock them back and forth slowly, and she chewed the chocolate again, looking straight ahead in order not to see her brother’s face crumpled.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Her fiancé stayed quiet all those times. MiCha wasn’t even sure whether she could still call him that. The wedding has been postponed indefinitely, nobody dared to talk about the subject, afraid of disturbing this frail, delicate balance they all have been hanging on lately.

But Yixing was always there, like a shadow in the background, silent and quiet. He would just stare at her with an intense gaze so rarely find in his usual gentle eyes, his silence ominous and heavy.

A part of her wanted him to do something, say something, because she thought she might go crazy from all his unreadable stares.

But a part of her wished that Yixing would keep his silence, because she was afraid of the turmoil behind his eyes.