Gayoon POV

Smiles wear on my face as I walk into our room. Our dog Girly is sleeping at the corner. He is named Girly because we both think that he acts like a girl more than a male dog and we all the time. Thinking about the date we had tonight is beyond delighted. I enjoy doing things with her, even we are not doing anything sometimes. She is all I want, all I got. Slowly, I reach my desk, finding my seat there. Night is a time for me to reflect, review everything happened in that day. And I cannot help but turn smiles into grins widely as the date replays in my mind again, how she holds my hand, how she smiles, how she places her lips on mine… As it replays in my mind, I take out my dairy. This is kind of my habit, to write down all my daily routines and my feelings. Every page contains our stories, me and her, me and Kim Hyuna. Sometimes I would even attach some photos of us. You have no idea how much it could bring me happiness and sweetness when I re-read them one by one. To keep flipping it, there is a missing page and it seems that someone ripped it off.

“11 July…” I turn to the next page.

“13 July” However, I cannot recall anything about it. Here is the new page, for today.

12 Aug 2013 Big Day<3

I woke up to the noise from my phone. Normally, I would be throwing tantrum at whoever disturbed my beauty sleeping time. But today is different, at least the notification turned my frowns into smiles. Squeezing my eyes, I tried to focus on the message as I have just woken up. People always said waking up to a morning text is the best thing ever happening to all couples and yes I do agree with this point. Hyuna left me a voice note, saying good morning even we live together. Listening to her voice can simply bring me smiles, repeating the voice note again and again. My friends always tease at us that she is treating me too well that makes me obey her all the time. Who does not want a caring and sweet girlfriend, right? Haha… \

After having enough of the voice note, I finished refreshing myself. Our dog Girly was barking at me, seemed that he was asking me to get up and go to somewhere he wanted me to be. I followed him. Girly shakes his tail as much as a fan switching on, he acts so excited. Finally I came to the living room, seeing a beautiful figure standing in the open kitchen, cooking for me. Flawless orange brown curvy hair getting loosen, the lady in a white tank top and a pair of pinkish hot pants was like a goddess statue to me. The closer I got to her, the wider smile I had on my face. Her scent filled me when our body was only inches away. Never had she failed to drive me crazy. Slipping my arms around her waist, resting my head on her shoulder, my body reacted without any signal sending from my brain. My eyes closed, my arms tightening around her waist, my face immersed into her neck and hair, taking a deep breath of this goddess.

“Hmm…smell so good…” I mumbled while gently brushing my nose against her neck.

“Are you talking about the food or me, Mrs. Kim?” My girlfriend can be such a tease sometimes. Her words got me giggling in her neck.

“The food…is the second, of course I’m talking about my goddess girlfriend.” No one could resist her and I am not an exception.

“And hey…who’s Mrs. Kim? I’m still yet married to you.” Purposely I smack her abs.

She remained silent but was still confident enough. Slowly she took my left hand, lifting up to her face. That moment was probably the sweetest moment to me ever. A kiss was placed on my ring finger. The contact of her plump lips touching my ring finger sent me electricity. The kiss stunned me, shocked me; it felt like she was helping me to wear a ring, our ring. And eventually I came back to reality as her lips left my finger.

“I’ll soon make it happen. You’ll soon be my Mrs. Kim.” She said it as she finished cooking, turning around and staring at me who was still stunned. She pecked a kiss on mine quick, smacking my .

“Find your seat there. Your food will be served real soon. Mrs. Kim.” She suddenly turned goofy, turning back.

Dragging myself to the table, I could not help but bring my hand to my lips as well. That kiss was more than just a kiss. It was a commitment from her. A commitment breaks all the doubts from our friends and families who never thought we could have made this for long. The sugar breakfast was too sweet for me as I only stared at my goddess. For quite a few times, I think I live in a story, a fairy tale story as everything seems too perfect for me. Having a goddess as your girlfriend indeed makes you take the highest pride in the world; however, it also feels like taking you to the top tip of a mountain, facing the fear of height. No one helps you and you have to fight for your own, fight for your place.

“Gayoon!” Hyuna snapped her fingers, bringing me back to the reality.

“Yes?” I felt myself almost drooling over her beauty.

“We are going out for our date…you silly…” She showed her eye smiles, it always dragged me falling for her more.

Somehow my head hurt suddenly, popping up some scenes…scenes of me crying. A hammer hit inside my brain. Those scenes were so weird: Seeing myself crying alone in the room, asking someone to come back, I saw myself crying loud in that room.

“Are you okay? Should we just cancel…”

“No! I’m fine!” I insisted ‘cause I did not wanna miss any chance to have a date with her.

Soon we came to a beach, though I did not understand why she took me there. However, places are not something that matters to me, person you spend time with does. What a wonderful sunny day that you could not even open your eyes without sunglasses. I love that feeling, feeling the sun kissing my skin, hugging me with its heat. What made me love this more was that my girlfriend always surprised me with her supa-dupa hot body, especially in bikini. But it also gave me a disgusting feeling that I had to wear that as well and people around us would stare at us like wolfs drooling over their prays.

“Gayoonie!” Hyuna shouting at somewhere in the centre of the beach already, frowning at me.

“Today you’re so distracted, what’s wrong? Are you still feeling sick? We can go home.” Hyuna came to me, caressing my face.

“Nonono…I’m fine…I’m just still amazed at your bikini and…” She rolled her eyes, letting out her soft laughs.

“And?” Her voice turned mischievous, smirking at me.

“And I’m not comfortable to wear this.” Covering my body with my hands, I knew it would not help but still…

Silence stayed for a few seconds until she burst into laughs. All of a sudden, she dragged me to the sea, hugging me in water. I could not help but scream at her action. The way she hugged me in water was such a sudden skinship with her.

“Now you don’t have to worry that people are staring at your body.” She whispered before greeting me with her passionate kiss. Our bodies crashed into one, hugging each other tight. Lips never left each other. Exchanging our saliva until running out of fresh air, we pulled out, panting together.

“That’s how you planned for our date, huh?” I whispered to her before kissing her again.

Both of us smiled into the kiss, ignoring the hailing sounds from the beach. She is always the reason I can live in our world, ignoring the rest of people, just two of us. No fear, no embarrassment, everything is about her, the rest is only background. A sudden strike in my head attacked me again. There gave me other scenes of me crying in a car with Jiyoon driving me home. Everything was so weird again and the pain came back to me. In the next moment, I found myself resting on Hyuna’s laps, enjoying her massage to my head.

“You should have stayed at home. See how your headache got you.” Hyuna said gently.

“I just wanna enjoy the date with you. We have no more time for this.” What? Why did I say that? I bet the headache got me really drained.

“Silly, we got plenty of time. By the way, Jiyoon invited us to have dinner with her for a gathering night. Do you wanna go or you wanna rest early?” Her hazel eyes looked straight into mine.

“I rather spend time with you only. It supposed to be our date, not gathering with her.” I could not help but pouted. Indeed, it was a disappointment to me that Hyuna asked me for this. I thought she would have rejected it.

“We can have our hot date any time right?” She pecks a kiss on my forehead with smiles on.

“I guess you made a decision.” My pouts only went bitter but her kiss could always take my sorrow away that I could never be mad at her.

“Come on, Gayoonie. I promise you’ll be having the best night ever.” Quickly, she shut me up with her kisses, without waiting for my answer. This is always her way to get me to agree with her.

Here the night came. Obviously, Hyuna did not lie to me. It was the best night in my life. We came to a restaurant somewhere near the beach. The whole restaurant is empty, covered with warming lights on only. Jiyoon was spotted in the centre in it, waiting for us.

“It took these two goddesses ages to come huh?” Although it was a really bad idea to date Hyuna and our close friend at the same night, I have not met Jiyoon for ages, so why not?

The dinner was mostly about Jiyoon and Hyuna chatting and laughing. I was there for…laughing as well? Seeing them chit-chatting, having such amazing reunion moment was already enough for me. All I want is to have Hyuna smiling, keep smiling for the rest of her life. Finishing the dinner, Hyuna excused herself to washroom. Jiyoon giggled at me for some reason.

“Why are you laughing?” I asked her but all she answered was only shaking her hands.

Suddenly, the lights were off but it seemed Jiyoon was not shocked by this at all. A light switched on, putting the spot on me. The best moment was right there, Kim Hyuna walked out from nowhere, coming to me. She stopped right in front of me, holding my hands. A familiar scene appeared, she took my left hand, pressing her lips on my ring finger.

“I told you…I’ll soon make it happen and you’ll be soon be my Mrs. Kim.” curved, so did her eyes, smiling at me while taking out a ring.

“Tonight…Tonight will be the night that you will become Mrs. Kim. You might wonder why I insisted to join Jiyoon’s dinner. Everything was in my plan. I want Jiyoon, our close friend, to witness the moment that you’ll become my wife, that you’ll agree to my commitment. Now, will you be my Mrs. Kim?” Something numbed my nose, tears filled my eyes, a lump stuck at my throat.

“Say something, you pabo Gayoon!” Jiyoon was a bit too nervous for us that made me burst into soft laughs.

“Yes…I wanna be your Mrs. Kim and the only one.” I finished the sentence, I finished it. Smiles on her face were gone, replaced by grins. She helped me to wear the ring which was marked our initial names on it, HxG. Once again, our lips met. This time I could feel that we are one. No words could describe that feeling. No words…

Closing my diary, I dragged my tiring body to the bed. Tonight is the best night in my life. Feeling her wrapping her arm around waist, breathing into my hair, I fell asleep with smiles soon until I found that the ring on my hand is gone. I panic, getting up to find the ring. Searching for every single place in the room, every single drawers, I do not care making the noise anymore.

“Where is it!? Where!” I shout. Someone rushes into my room, standing at the door.

“What’s wrong?” It is Jiyoon. I turn back and give her a shocking look.

“Where is it? Jiyoon, do you know that? Where is my ring? The ring that Hyuna gave me!! Help me to find it!!” I search for it like a psycho but I have to find it out. Jiyoon somehow stands there with a sad face.

“Jiyoon! HELP ME TO FIND THE RING! It’s important to me, please!” My voice cracks as my tears flow out.

“You’re wearing it, as a necklace. You told me that you're afraid that you might lose it so you make it a necklace.” She answered with her bitter voice. Her words stop me, giving me a moment to breathe as my hand climbs up to my chest and the ring is there.

“Have you taken the medicine, Gayoon?” She asks me. I cannot believe what she said. Lifting up my face to her, I frown with confusion. Her sight switched to my desk. Slowly, she walks towards it, looking at the drawer where I put my diary.

“Gayoon ah…You have to take that. Or else, your illness will get worse…” What she said is confusing me and somehow irritates me.

“What are you talking about?” Tears drop somehow. My head hurts again, but this time along with my heart. Something is wrong with my body. She takes out a piece of paper and passes it to me.

12 July 2013

That morning I saw Hyuna hiding a ring from me and she did not know that I know about the ring. She marked our names on it. I bet she is planning on proposing tonight.

….

A phone call took everything from me…It cannot be true. It must be a prank call right but Jiyoon told me it wasn’t. She told me that she was sorry…Why sorry…I don’t need sorry! I don’t want anyone to say sorry to me! I just want her back!! I JUST WANT HYUNA BACK!!!

My head hurts as hell after reading the paper, the missing paper in my diary. I look up at Jiyoon with my teary eyes.

“What does it mean? What does it mean? Jiyoon? TELL ME WHAT THE IT MEANS?!” I shout at her, clenching onto the paper.

“Hyuna is dead…” Jiyoon whispers that I almost cannot hear.

“No…No…No…” My mouth is denying but somehow my brain sent me some familiar scenes: the scene of me crying in the room, my room, crying…for Hyuna’s death, the scene of me asking someone to come back to me, asking Hyuna to come back…and the scene of me crying in the car with Jiyoon driving me back home, from Hyuna’s funeral… Pressure creates in my brain, I can feel that it is gonna explode in any second.

“No…No…No…No…way…it can’t be true…She was…she…was right there…holding me…” I started to mess my hair with my hands, wandering in the room.

“No…she…no way…she just proposed to me…tonight!” I stop in front of Jiyoon, staring at her.

“You were there! Jiyoon! You were there…” I question her.

“She never got the chance to propose…The accident took her away right before that night she planned to do that.” Jiyoon’s eyes get redden but she remains calm.

“You’re lying…where is she? Tell me where is she? Jiyoon please…tell me…please I’m begging you.” I kneel down, holding her thighs, hoping she would send me some sympathy to tell me the truth.

“Look at your drawer and read your diary again.” Again, her words silence me. I slowly get up, heading towards my desk. It takes me a step back as I see the pills, the pills filling all over the drawer.

“You have been diagnosed that you had mental illness after Hyuna’s death. Those pills can keep you awake, staying from your delusion. Things written on your diary aren’t true. You wrote it based on your delusion. Things since 12 July 2013 start to be fake… Now it's 12 Aug 2014, Gayoon. It's been a year. She is dead, Gayoon. She asked me to take care of you. It’s hard for me to see you acting like this. This is the only thing I could do for you…to take good care of you…” Jiyoon eventually lets her tears flow.

Taking a look at the diary, it seems that all the memories are back, the real memories. The moment I looked at the pale and cold body of Hyuna, the moment I cried while holding her frozen hand, the moment I broke down and started to write the diary, everything is back.

“She…is…” I fall on the chair.

“…dead…”

My eyes look at the pills, switching to the surroundings in the room. Everything remains the same as I did not want to move a single stuff after Hyuna has gone.

“Please, Gayoon. You have to move on…I’m not asking you to forget her, but you have to move on…” Jiyoon pleads.

I take a pill and throw myself to the bed, staring at the ceiling. Tears flow silently. Tonight is the best night, the best night that I broke down again. 

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After updating the last one shot No More Rules, then I'll quit writing. 

Don't wanna talk about the reason here.

Just wanna say thank you for all your supports and I appreciate every single comment.

Not that I'm leaving here, I'll just be back as a reader, no more stories from me.

Sorry to say that Chance is not gonna updated anymore. 

Hope you like this story and do anitcipate to No More Rules, thank you.