One Year after the Accident

[2014, September]

Not every day you’d woke up overwhelmed by question like: where do you belong to? However recently, I just don’t know anymore. This better be a dream, how I wished I could just write it off that way.

It’s kind of weird how well I might have known an anonymous place. Then at the next seconds, it swiftly registered inside my mind that I might have been here before—an area that resembles a cubicle which almost never has its light off. I just happened to remember it that way. Maybe this isn’t real, I kept telling myself but to no avail. In every second, coldness seeped into my veins, sending jolt inside my heart. The way I pictured everything from a vague memories seemed to really match with the reality I was currently facing. I saw a few medium sizes monitor which displaying some kind of waves. It has a machinery-like ‘tick-tick’ sounds coming off from it. Somehow, right now, it felt closer than ever, and it as if I've been here for an eternity.

As I took more steps, I began to discover one cubicle after another. Like I was lost, lost in some dark world of grimness, I couldn’t seem to rule out the emotions that were building inside of me. At some point, it felt vaguely distant, unreachable up to the moment when my eyes might have caught someone familiar. Unknowingly, I fastened my pace, not wanting to lose sight of that person.

Cubicle number eight. That person was a ‘she’, and she was hunkering beside the only bed occupied inside the particular cubicle. Now I was truly in danger of crying. But I don’t know why. And for some reason, I thought that knowing the reason would take a lot of exhausting steps. I wouldn’t want that.

Anything starts with a question; I barely possessed the will to stay curious until the mysteries uncovered. It’s just how I am. I hate taking risk. I hate being emotionally drained. And foremost, I was tired to find a reason to keep faith of all the people I love. And thus, 'Where am I' was a question I couldn't afford to voice out. This place gave out vibes of familiarities which strangely relatable. But I have zero recollection. It confused me, relentlessly. Decided to make myself calmer, I squeezed my eyes desperately.

A scream welled up in my throat as an image flung in front of my mind’s eye. I pictured the crescent dark eyes of hers were staring at me—happy or hurt, I couldn't tell. It felt just like yesterday when we were giggling side by side underneath the serene skies but even now, when I turned, she was nowhere to be seen.

“Eunjung. Please. Let me see your face.” 

I remember calling out her name for the umpteenth times. In each attempt, an indescribable pain intensified beneath my chest. Yelping like a lost kid searching for her parents, I deliberately scanned through every possible direction. Deep inside, I was hoping to catch a glimpse of her, at least once but the desire vanished just as I saw the ever familiar lady from cubicle number eight. She looked as she was about to waving at someone by the side. I wondered for a while until my eyes shifted toward the person who was lying on the bed inside that same cubicle.

*sirens activated*

The howl of sirens resonated all over. My attention was immediately brought into another cubicle. Unlike others, that particular cubicle appeared the most serene one until just now. The was no one else in that cubicle aside from the one lying on that bed. Within seconds it was swarmed by the fellow doctors and nurses that raced from one end of the room.

“Patient bed three in arrest, call the Anaest, bring in defibrillator and emergency trolley!”

Right away my eyes deviated on a taller, slightly larger doctor who appeared to be the most senior among the fellow residents gathered in the center. His booming voice alerted those around him wherein they all nodded in sequence before hurriedly attending to their respective roles. I jumped a little by the abrupt closing sounds of the curtain; from that moment onward, I couldn't seem to take my eyes off from that bed.

“Everyone clear?”

“Clear!”

The echo of their voices exemplified the bridging tension inside me.

“Charge!”

“VF! Epi, please!”

Endless streams of questions plagued in my mind. I was completely lost with their medical terminologies; it sounded so tensed, desperate and spontaneous which reminded me of the resuscitation scene in my favourite medical series, House. Each of their words count for one’s survival, you actually could feel the stakes of life and death in it. With my sight glued on that particular bed, I caught myself pursing my lips, struggling with every breath. 

“Mister, you cannot enter! Please wait outside!”

I caught a glimpse of Kai who was inching toward the bed that was undergoing resuscitation; one of the nurses threw her hands up, verbally warned him not to step any closer.

“No!” His strained voice took form in my heart though I couldn't say why.

For few seconds, my eyes were transfixed at him. When I captured the sorrowfulness portrayed in his pleading eye, all the air from my lungs were robbed by him.

“I’ll always be here, beside you.” I heard a faint saying from behind. 

I stiffly turned around to look at the owner of that voice; her voices rang in every corner of my brain.

“The heartbeats are back!”

*VF = Ventricular Fibrillation *Epi = Epinephrine

Six Months after the Accident

[2014, March]

“Mom, what are you doing in here?”

Backpack slid down my arm the moment I saw that woman inside my room. With my own eyes, I still couldn't fathom the way she was behaving after all the dirty secret became known to me. The white tape on her left hand alerted about the reason she was here. Startled, she cleared while putting down something on my bed.

“Honey, we're going to move tomorrow and look at your room! Nothing is packed as yet,” She hissed, exasperated. With that, she bounced her hands up and down, to nitpick on every single thing that I should've done, this and that, blah blah. Uninterested, I stood there, crossed my arms and let her gave vent to her anger rather than saying anything that would only lengthen our conversations.

“We need to talk.” Within seconds, her voice echoed inside the room.

“About what?” I threw a hand up and squinted. “Ah, about how you and dad have a family outside?” I said icily. Here we go again, the never-ending vicious cylce.

She meekly lowered her head. “No. You know that already.”

My eyed followed her as she walked passed me and closed the door before us. I lifted my chin and glanced over my shoulder.

“How was your appointment with the psychiatrist?” she asked tonelessly.

She could’ve put more feelings into it even if she was just asking for the sake of...obligation, I supposed. I look past her and my eyes darted between the window and the clock on the wall.

“I have a date with Kai,” I muttered in my breath.

I said it to piss her off because I knew the fact that she disliked the idea of me going out with a delinquent. Frowning, she eyed me carefully while the skin between her foreheads creased.

“Cha Eun Jung. Who was that girl?" Mom asked demandingly with both hands placed on her hips.

My heart leapt when she uttered the name. I in a long breath and took a step forward.

“She sits next to me in that bus.” I replied absently.

“Hyuna ah, what are you talking about, uh?” she asked with a defeated shrug.

I walked past her, smirking. “I was just joking, all right.” I smiled humourlessly.

A frown displayed across her oval face; the face that I had not seen for a while ever since she moved in with the family of her second marriage. I didn't even have the slightest clue of what was going on and even after the lies surfaced, I still kept on looking for clues in everything – Why did they lie? Why did they hide their second marriages from me? If I didn't see them at Meridian Highlands before the accident, I wouldn't have known it until now. And before I had the chance to digest all the lies that they built all these years, they hastily decided that I was already mature enough to consider things as it was. 

“Hyuna yah, you’re not acting like yourself. Please, don’t hurt yourself anymore.” she said pleadingly.

“Mom!” I took a step back. 

I slanted a glance at her and our eyes locked upon each other. Alternate mementos of laughter and nightmares marching in my head, reminded me of the distresses that shadowed my everyday lives for the past six months. Battling with my own conflicting sides, those words I registered in my brain couple of minutes ago disappeared just like that. I wanted to tell them how hurt I was, but I couldn't bring myself to voice it out. All the unspeakable words, rage, and pain grew insidiously in my chest, hurting like hell.

“Honey, please stop all these madness. Don’t mingle your life with someone like Kai, or create baseless stories to steal our attention. If you’re doing that to rebel, sorry darling but you’re only inflicting pain to yourself, not us. You’re eighteenth, my dear. You’re mature enough to define what’s right and what’s not…”

When she talked about virtuousness (the quality of doing what was right and avoiding what was wrong); I had to resist the urge to roll my eyes. It didn't serve the justice for her to talk about it. Since I was born into this world, I tried my hardest to meet with their ridiculous expectations, to please them in any way I could and all of it stood for one solid reason – I wanted my parents to be proud and love only me. All in all, they have chosen to lie. A truth might hurt for a little while, but a lie hurts forever. They pushed me over the edge and made me ponder upon every single thing and every single word that they had said – and what it came down to was that – my life was built on a lie. 

The ringing of the cell phone had breathed life back into me. A sigh escaped my lips, relieved that I wouldn't have to hear the repeated rants from her.

“Eunjung ah, have you reached already? No worries, I’ll be there in twenty minutes. All right, see you there.”

I ended the call with a swift before throwing it on the bed. Tipping my head toward the door, I signaled to her that I need to get dressed so she would've to leave.

“Honey, please take a good care of your health, okay? You've been sick since the accident and yet every night you would hang out with that boyfriend of yours. You could choose a better one, you deserved a better one! Since you were dating him, your attitude…”

When I saw her eyes brimmed with tears, there was this terrible sensations drumming against my chest. It struck me right on the spot that I wasn’t the least happy to see her like that. Though I hated to admit it, she was right – I was inflicting pain to none other than myself.

“Are you going out again?” she asked, the skin between her forehead creased.

I nodded absently as I turned and headed toward where my wardrobe was. I pretended to appear busy, occupying myself with choosing the right clothes to wear, but all the while, my eyes were slanted at her. For all the world, I wanted her to console me, plait my head like she used to do every time I was about sleep and, her to ask many other things about schools, gossips, girly stuff – just like how we used to be in the past.

But, no. She just left.

Unlike them, who seemed to move on easily with their respective families, I, on the other side of the world, was stuck in the same damn place, and innocently believed that I was still their precious princess that they couldn't live without.

The loud, blaring and rhythmic music boomed through the club. This sort of music was extremely bad for the weaker heart, like mine. As I walked, I tried to avoid every chance of skin ship-ing that could easily happen amongst the crowd by shielding both hands in front of my chest.

“Eunjung ah, where are you?”

I sent a text to Eunjung and waited expectantly.

“I am here, right behind you.” A voice was faintly heard from the back.

I threw my head back and my mouth forming an ‘O’ shaped.

“I've been waiting for you, princess.” She leaned forward and whispered beside my ear.

“Yah! I came twenty minutes exactly!”

With pouted lips, I folded my arms and scowled at her.

“Aish, what a temper! Anyway, your dress, isn't it a bit revealing? There’s not much to show though.” she commented mockingly.

I snarled back at her and hissed exasperatingly.

Recently, Eunjung had become blunter in her talking. No one ever talked to me in such a way before; she was the first and probably the last. There was something so familiar about her I had yet to discover. Oftentimes, making friends were among the difficult tasks I hated to admit. I was a reticence type of person, but every time she was with me, it as if I was transformed into a whole new person – bubbly, cry baby, clingy. Only Cha Eunjung possessed the ability to unleash the side of me that I tried too hard to keep it hidden until now.

“Why were you dozing off?”

Eunjung snapped her fingers before my eyes, laughing hard, clearly enjoying her victory over me.

Eunjung and I, we were among the three survivors from the tragic accident happened six months ago. Both of us had received treatment within the same hospital and our bed was just side by side. Every now and then, she jokingly informed me that I had forgotten some part of the events during the accident, and when I insisted that I did remember everything, she would say I was in denial and so on. Even though I recognized her from the beginning but Eunjung approached me first. For the two months period we were in the hospital, she greeted me every single day and talked to me just about everything, which kind of reminded me to my mom. Bit by bit, I started to open up to her and began to share with her about my parents, school life, future dreams, on and on. Our relationships started off like that and in no time at all, we were inseparable.

Eunjung poked my cheek and pulled me out from my train of thoughts.

“Kai was here already.” I told her with a smirk.

“I knew that. Here, take this,” She drew me closer for a hug, nervously whispered into my ear, and then transferred something into my palm.

“Wa-Wait! Where the hell you get this from?” My voice spiking up an octave and before I know it, we were already away from the crowd. She dragged me at one corner with fewer people around it.

“Shh. Are you crazy? You have no idea how I get this ! Listen, this is an illegal drug, they call it the amphetamine. I know some insider worked with the police, they are going to come for a premise check within thirty minutes or so. You better put this in his drinks and make sure he drinks it.” A satisfied grin formed on her lips as she released my hand and idly shift it on her hips.

“So, what do I do? Put this in his drinks, and we're cool? What's next then? Have with him?” I teased nonchalantly, raising an eyebrow and scrunching at my nose.

She scoffed at me disbelievingly. “Yah, Song Hyuna!” A shriek made its way to her lips. “Do you want to die?!” she uttered through gritted teeth. 

After her last words, she shuffled and stood behind me, then coiled her arm around the curve of my neck.

“Cha Eun Jung!” With both hands, I clasped her arm, struggled to release it off.

“Now, go! The police would come in half an hour and make sure you finish him off before that.”

To ease the choking-like sensation she caused me a minute ago, I placed a hand over my throat and rubbed at it. She was looking expectantly at me, waiting for my reply.

“Okay.” I replied dryly.

“Jeez. Anyway, be careful.” Her voice softened while gently patted at the small of my back. We exchanged a glance for a moment and she leaned forward, planted a kiss over my cheek.

“You have...twenty-five minutes left. Now, go!” She snapped her fingers, winked mischievously at me before disappearing in the crowd.

Just for tonight, I had worn a tight, low-cut dress in red, exposing my long, bare and satin smooth skin. Eunjung and I had been planning this so-called revenge for quite some times. Kai, my current boyfriend, was her former boyfriend. It all started when he was caught cheating on her prior to the accident that happened almost six months ago. Tonight was the anticipated night, and that the both of us were going to get back at him. The plan was to put the illegal substances in his drinks and Eunjung would leak the information to the police from the narcotic department, in which she claimed to be someone she knew. Kai and I had been seeing each other since a month ago. I knew I was not the only one he dated, but all in all, he was born to flirt. He had that y vibe radiating from him, it sort of intriguing at first but after a while, I figured out he was just a spoilt rich kid, arrogant, a picky eater and erted jerk.

The cold air crept under my thin dress. I puffed out cold breathes into my palm, rubbed it together and cupped my cheek to transfer its warmness. 

“Where is this ing retard?!” I knocked the door for the umpteenth times until my poor knuckles began to ache, numb.

I glimpsed at my watch and hissed. “Damn. I have fifteen minutes more. What do I do?” The tension built up inside of me had caused me to become restless than ever.

Pacing back and forth in front of the room, I was completely immersed with my own thoughts and oblivious of my surrounding. My heart almost jumped out when someone touches the bare skin at the small of my back.

“Hi there, baby.”

I turned around clumsily and my head smacked on that person's chest. Warily, I looked up to meet with whoever it was. I was mentally prepared to stammer an apology but it turned out to be someone that I knew.

“Kai!” I blurted out.

“Whoa.Whoa.Whoa. Baby, did you just come? I’ve been waiting like centuries for the arrival of my beautifully beautiful queen.” He inched closer, and lightly kissed the top of my head.

In that very moment, I sort of captured the feeling as why Eunjung would fall head over heels to this so-called flower boy. Up to this point, he was the sweetest talker I had ever met in my life. I struggled for words when my eyes started to wander around his dazzling appearances tonight. He looked fine in that slim fitting black shirt though it appeared slightly soaked to me, in which it allowed me to see his masculinity, his six packs. This guy looked effortlessly handsome.

“Baby, one word...you’re gorgeous!” His big mesmerizing brown eyes were about to bore through me and with great self-restrain, I managed to get a hold of myself and resisted the urge to smile.

“Are we going to stand here for the whole night?” I mumbled hurriedly, no longer meeting with his gaze.

Within seconds, he clasped my hand, confidently escorting me inside the room. My steps were abruptly halted at the entrance. Reeks of alcohol sneaked into my nose and I staggered back as the dizziness started to click in me.

“Hyuna-yah!” He gasped, wrapped his long arms around my waist and tightened his hold.

I trembled from his touch and immediately inched away, but Kai held my shoulder firmly.

“Relax, babe. I promised you we’ll be alone in no time,” he murmured softly from behind; his voice shivered me.

The music was loud, purely deafening. Sometimes, it irked me that I had to ask repeatedly because I couldn't reach his meaning and that really consumed my time. I scanned through the room and saw his fellow friends with their girlfriend. Perhaps it was the music, or the unpleasant smells of the alcohol, but I just couldn't stay focused and my mind seemed to engage with something vague.

His arms still clung around me, keeping our bodies as close as possible. He brought me to one corner, putting away whatever stuff that was on the couch earlier. Frankly speaking, I didn't like these. I just couldn't stand the sight of people kissing publicly, touching each other in a complete unabashed way and making out in front of my eyes. I did it for Eunjung and majority of it, I wanted to anger my parents, but this was too much for me to handle.

“Where was your drink?” I said after a few seconds, not sure whether I should smile or not. The smells of alcohol get on my nerves severely. A thrill went past me as I began to feel anxious.

“Hey, you. Baby, hey. Are you okay?” He shot me a concern look and clicked his tongue, spreading an arm across the couch.

“You-Your drinks. Was it that one, or...” I flashed a plastic smile to him as I pointed at every glass on the table beside us.

“Drinks?” He let out a soft, amused laugh. His smile seemed to imply something, and whatever it meant for, I feel my cheeks heating up.

“We weren't here for that,” He grabbed one of the glasses on the table, looking over the rim of it and winked mischievously.

I smiled faintly and he reacted by smirking seductively at me, exposing his spotless white teeth.

“I-I want a-a drink,” I stuttered with a shaky voice.

He cocked one brow and asked, “Sure, what do you want to drink?” He turned to the other side, stealing glances with his other friends.

“Yo-Your drinks,” When I finally spurted out the last words, I saw a glint in his eyes.

Frankly, I felt so cheap as I said that.

I fidgeted and tried to move a little, but he was quick to grasp the small area of my back.

“I was crazy about you, baby,”

When his words started to sink in, I caught myself panting for air. Next, he rubbed his cheek against mine and casually ran his nose along my hair line. For one unspoiled moment, my heart fluttered in a way that I had never felt before.

He was trouble.

“Here, your drinks,”

I took a sip of the first alcoholic drink I ever had up until now. All the while, my eyes, never left him. His eyes blinked at me with reassurance in it. He simpered impishly and took the glass from me only to take a sip from it.

“Cool, isn't it?” There was an edge of amusement in his voice, but I simply nodded. My head started to hurt like hell. I jabbed near the area of my temples, wondered if it was due to the drinks just now.

‘Song...Hyuna...’

A warm breeze ran from one ear to another. I fidgeted; my heart pounded in my throat.

“Hyuna yah, you’re so cute, do you know that? I just can’t get my eyes off you...” He reduced the gap between us with his eyes wandered down to my lips. I sort of get what it led to. My heart quickened as he leaned closer and closer. Breathtakingly, he implanted a kiss on my lips and brushed hotly against mine.

‘Put it inside his drinks.’

There was a voice inside my head that giving out the instructions, which I inherently followed every single thing it said. The next thing I did was cautiously opened the cubic bottle and expertly poured its content inside the drinks that he was holding at. For a moment, his lips were domineering mine as he brought up one hand to tangle with my hair, only to deepen the kisses between us.

‘Now. Ask him to finish the drinks.’

I jerked my head back and stared directly into his dark brown orbs. He paused awhile to chew the corner of his lips. He was still eager to continue our kisses, but I inched away before he could do so.

“Baby, please...”

‘Drink...Drink...Drink...’

“Finish off that drinks and I’ll give you everything you want.” I purred beside his neck provocatively.

“I like this side of you, Hyuna yah. Show it only to me, you get me?” The vibes from his words sounded so controlled, desperate and dangerous.

‘Song Hyuna...’

A surge of emotion emerged from within, threatening to choke the life right out of me. Oddly enough, there was something familiar about that voice. It kind of reminded me to someone but when I tried to focus about it, my mind became blurry, and in the brink of time, I remembered nothing. The thoughts that once controlled me had completely dissociated.

‘Tok.Tok.Tok’

Right after the third sound, I snapped out of it. My eyes darted at my watch and it was almost time the police would come. Kai chugged down his drinks in one sip and I was like, ‘What the hell was going on?’ I shifted my gaze toward the cubic bottle and it was emptied.

‘Did I put it inside his drinks? I...put...it?’ I scratched my head absently. My mind fogged up and I can’t seem to think further.

“I've finished it. What do we do first?” His tugged me closer; unabashedly crushed his body against mine.

‘Leave. Now.’

“We-Well, let me go to the lady's room first. Ba...by,” Awkwardly, I pushed his hands away and without looking at him, I could sense that he was eyeing on my every movement. I clutched my handbag and rise from the couch without sparing any more attention to him.

It was completely different from a couple of minutes ago where I was completely mesmerized at this guy before my eyes. Conflict overwhelmed inside of me and I was torn between which ones of the feelings were real. Strangest of all, the swirling emotions began to subside once I left the room. Except that despite everything, one thing I know for sure – my first kiss – was him.

Eight Months after the Accident

[2014, May]

There was a place that Eunjung and I frequently visited – a grass field situated in our campus. It was a common place, but she suggested it endearingly that the word “no” was at the tip of my mouth, but it never came out. Within that short period of time, it was incredible how Eunjung could affect me in many aspects I had never thought of before. Was it called law of attraction or something? 

“Eunjung ah,”

She was lying beside me; the blue skies weighed on us, stunningly huge, enormous with a bright medallion higher up; wisps of clouds decorated the seemingly daunting skies and for all the world, it smelled soothingly pleasant because the person I claimed as friend was here, with me. It was our usual break between the lectures and while everyone else were going to the library, cafeteria, hangout with their boyfriend and dealing with the pile of assignments; we preferred to spend all our leisure time here – underneath the dazzling skies – with only the two of us.

“Mm,” she replied after a second or so.

“Were you happy? I mean, after Kai was put into custody and all...and you've got your revenge on him so...I was wondering how you felt now.”

Both my hands were a little above my head, partly supporting it. I tilted to her side and studied her every reaction. The corner of twisted a little and just when I thought she was going to blurt out a victory laugh or something, a pair of pearl-shaped tears dripping slowly across her cheek.

“Eunjung ah, what was wrong?” I asked.

“About Kai-ssi, I heard he got out from the charge. His father was quite an influential personal in our country. It was a futile effort indeed. Just be careful, he might figure out soon that you were the one putting that drug in his drinks. Kai could be scary sometimes, no one could tell what he capable of doing.” she told with a sigh, concern etched on her face.

“I’ll deal with that, don’t worry. Plus, I've moved into a new house.” I smiled thinly at her.

“Anyhow, just be careful. Kai had lots of malicious friends...” Her eyes shimmered with sadness.

“Then, you should’ve thought about that before you carelessly involved me in this mission impossible thingy!” I turned my body sharply at her side, so we were directly facing one another.

There was a moment of silent between us. I groaned inwardly. She sounded so like my mom, and I hated that.

Why bother talking about the consequences if we both knew it already? When she first proposed to me about that revenge plan of her, I too put a lot of thought about it before I say yes.

She bit her lips, eyes fixated on me.

“I was...just, concern. You were different from me. You have a lot to lose, your family...siblings, I mean, step-siblings. They were still your family anyway. I know, you were doing this to win back your parent's attention and I was just, turning a blind eye on it because I really wanted to make him pay for all he did. I guess we had our own reasons for doing these but in the end, none of us reaches the goal though.” she said bitterly.

“You’re such a ...” I put on a poker face while resisting the urge to roll my eyes.

“Tsk. Look who’s talking here. The mighty princess.” she intercepted, grinning impishly.

“Aaaa.Aaaa. I can’t hear youuu!” I squinted and stick out my tongue to her, in which she responded by rolling her eyes.

“Kai-ssi!” Her head was stooped a bit up, one hand on the air, pointing behind me.

I gasped and almost twisted my neck when I turned around in haste while my body ended up rolling to the other side.

“Where? Where?!”

“Yah, you liar!” I sat up, threw up my hands in front of her.

She doesn't’ flinch; instead she raised an eyebrow and chortled.

“You heart skipped a beat, didn't it? Ha.Ha.Ha.” She voiced out her laugh one after another.

“You! Tsk.” I pointed one finger between her eyes; she immediately swatted it off before leaning forward and landing an attack to my belly area. I didn't wait long to poke her back, aiming my finger at her waist. She burst into laughter almost the same time that her back fell flatly onto the other side, both hands pressing on her abdomen.

“You’re so gullible!” she cried out. I chuckled from the other side, not wanting to let her know that I was having fun as well.

Here we go again.

Just like this, the goofy version of her brightened my day and soon we drowned out everyone else as if the world revolved around us. Just like this, I prayed. Just like this, let this indescribable happiness fill our whole being.

“Ah, this is so refreshing!” We were back to before. When I turned left, it was her next to me. Grinning, she shot a look at me, poked a finger over my cheek and moments later it was like how it used to be. Both of us were giggling side by side, pointed at the sky above, and commented on the cloud’s shape just to resemble it with anything popped-up in our mind.

“Marshmallow!”

“No..no! It was more like scrambled eggs to me,” I exclaimed.

“Excuse me, do scramble eggs looked like that? You’re ignorant!” She insisted fiercely.

“Mind you, scrambled egg is one of my expertises in cooking! I bet you wouldn't even know how to make a proper one,” I informed her wryly.

“Hello, I always cooked one for Kai, he said-“ Her face darkened. The cheerful smile upon her face vanished almost instantly after the name was blurted out.

Whenever Kai was mentioned, there would be a sudden gush of feelings running over me, twisting my insides. She probably would feel the same, or even more. What it came down to was that both of us sharing the same sufferings though we were hurt in different ways. It wasn't the kind of hurt that can easily healed – the scar will remain – it will not vanish – it won’t. The memories still lingering around would resurface, braided with the similar heartaches, forever and unto death.

“Eunjung ah, try calling me Cha Hyuna for once.” My heart trembled as I took a deep breath. Outwardly, I might have sounded playfully but inwardly, I was hoping that she would fall for it – once was enough – Cha Hyuna.

She cleared and puffed heavily. “You dummy, why you want to follow me? I was an orphan, you were not, so don’t simply suggest silly things like that.”

When I turned to her side, we stared into each other’s eyes. Hers were the darkest eyes I had ever seen, and that pair of eyes was looking at me, echoed with sentiment. Wordlessly, I leaned closer and snuggled my head in her elbow.

“In our house, there was this big family photo in the living room,” I spread my palms as to illustrate the size of that picture being mentioned.

“Everyone was smiling beautifully in it. My dad, mom, and me,” I counted my fingers one after another and upon the third counts, a tear slid down my cheek. It was hard to look into her eyes but of all the miserable events happened in my life, the thing that bothered me the most was when she said do not follow her because she was an orphan. 

She looked expectantly at me while I continued, “But when I was crying, they weren't there for me…” I dazedly looked at her, barely remembering how to breathe.

“Maybe they didn't love me as much as their other children. Maybe if it was their other children, they would have hugged them, patted at their shoulders, smoothed their hair and cried along with them.” I was feeling the nostalgic vibe out of it and my tears were streaming down seemingly endlessly. It was then she leaned closer and pulled me in for a hug, patting at my shoulder, smoothing my hair and cried along with me.

“Now…now, stop crying. Did you forget to eat your medicine again, uh?” She tried to fill the silence, slowly pulling away from me.

“Song Hyuna, don’t cry.”  Wariness printed all over her face and I was left speechless.

I liked it, when she called my name. There was a feel in it, like when you called someone that was dearly precious to you; like when you were holding in your breath while saying it because you were afraid that you might screw up with the tone and the person would get the wrong impression. Eunjung was there when I was on the verge of breaking apart; she remind by my side when I was mentally unstable, and that I needed to see Psychiatrist to cope with depression. Ever since the accident eight months ago, she was beside, behind or even in front of me – accompanying, supporting and guiding me ahead – assuring me again and again that life was beautiful and that I shouldn't have given up on them.

She frowned. “Hyuna yah, was there something wrong?” Her voice was soft-spoken and gentle.

I tilted my head at her and hummed in response.

“Say, why do you like clouds so much?” I twined her fingers with mine, comparing who had the better skin and giggled.

She ran her fingers over my hair and said, “Clouds were like marshmallow – fluffy and looked yummy. During rainy days, someone would bring it for me. That was why when I was still in the orphanage; out of habit, I would look at the clouds to anticipate for the rain. I remember being so excited whenever it rains. He would be there, with his cheesy umbrella and tons of marshmallows...”

“That someone was...Kai?” I looked up at her and she forced a sweet smile.

“After all he had done to you, cheated you with other girls and even accepted me as his girlfriend, you still...have feelings for-for that bastard?” Oblivious to those around us, my voice rose up an octave.

“I loathed him enough to cut my veins...but, it only proved how vivid my feelings were. No matter how hard I tried, in the end, the love that I believed had rusted, scarred and yet every time I closed my eyes, he was there, wearing the same gentle smiles, as though my brain won't forget.”

From time to time, she would tell me their stories – about how they met, how she was drawn by him, and many more.

“Every time I think of him, my heart wavered again and again. Every day, I pictured him and recalled our moments together, like he still there, loved me, and every morning I would wait for him to come back, waiting unconditionally for him. I was so stupid in love, didn’t I?”

I could tell that Eunjung tried her hardest to control the tremor in her voice. I know how that feels when you were trying to hide your feeling and pretending you were okay.

I reached atop of her and gave her a peck on her cheek. We were facing each other and I could feel the uprising beats beneath my chest. Without a word, I wrapped my arms around her upper body and lay beside her again.

“Eunjung ah, I would be 100 times better than him. I would travel all around the world to find the best match for you, I promised. If looking at the clouds reminded you of him, then I would be the tender skies that forever sheltered your existence.”

She put her hands on the small of my back and her expression softened.

“This world where you and I live together, isn't it nicer?”

“So, to commemorate this moment…let’s take a picture together.” I suggested and fished out my cell phone.

Every now and then, we used to take pictures together, but I got the feeling that this particular picture we took today was the best so far.

“One.Two…Three!”

Snap.

“Uh, we came out really nice in this picture. See, you were smiling foolishly as usual. I was prettier as ever. I was going to keep this one! Beat...me!” Eunjung uttered with a smile that almost reached her eyes.

I angled my face at her and both of us were smiling to one another. Except that despite everything, there was this awful pain growing inside of me because strangest of all, it kind of hinted to me that, this could be our last.

“Yes, it is.” I looked into the intensity of her icy brown eyes. The heartfelt moments that I've spent with this girl could never be enough. Time would come when I might not be there when she needed me; that I would be the first to give up when things get difficult between us.

“In an everlasting bloom, I would always be your friend.” I smiled while reaching for her hands, and placed it beside my cheek.

8 PM, I reached home. Both mom and dad had already moved into their respective families so there was only me living in here.

“I’m deadly tired.”

I twisted open the doorknob of my bedroom. Once I was inside, I threw aside everything that was on my body, left with only undergarments. Some said, sleeping half- was good for health but as for me, it was because of the unbearable heat inside this house. I just don’t know, the air conditioner was switched on but still, it was awfully hot in here.

I flopped onto the bed, my eyes scanning through the messiness in my room and a deep sigh escaped my lips. It was a total mess with unpacked boxes all around, clothes and books stacked on a corner. In the past, I wouldn’t have to clean my room or doing house chores since we have maid to get it all done. Mom offered to hire a maid to come over the house for house-keeping, chores and all, but I rejected it. Now that I think about it, I was such a fool.

“Nah, I’m gonna do it later...later,” In a flash, my eyes felt weighted down.

One second,

Two seconds,

...and three seconds.

I grunted as I brought my hands closer above my forehead.

“Why am I still awake?” I mumbled. Moments later, realization hit me.

“Great. Insomnia, here we go again.” I groaned inwardly and rolled onto the other end of the bed, reaching for the table beside it.

“Let’s see. Where did I put those sedatives?”

Insomnia wasn’t a new thing to me since I’ve been experiencing it for almost half a year now. I had a regular appointment with a psychiatrist, who claimed to be one of my mom’s best friend. It all started a few months ago when I overdosed myself with sedatives and was re-admitted to the hospital for several days, which snapped my parents out of their comfort zone because all the while they assumed that I was joking when I told them I couldn’t sleep – after the accident.

I outstretched my arms to aim for the first drawer.

“Oh? It isn’t there?”

My touch recognized the bottle by its shape but oddly, it wasn’t in there. I don’t remember putting it somewhere else, it always there – the nearest to my bed. I reached for the second drawer, inserting the same hand and rummaged through the drawer. And still, it was not there.

“Oh? What happened? Did mom...take it?”

Something eerie sparked in me. The night swirled in my head and each part of me grew more alert and sensitive.

“Wh-What the?!” I sat up, turned sharply toward my right, fixing my sight at the transparent window up front.

I thought I saw something move around there. Thank God, I didn’t catch anything weird, but the feelings didn’t go away. I pursed my lips and lightly tapped over my chest.

‘Tok.Tok.Tok.’

A rather familiar soft tapping sound originated from the window had knocked me out from my boundless thoughts. And so, the adrenaline rush dispersed all around my veins. My eyes prickled as I turned to the side where that sound came from.

“Uh? The bottle...”

Something surge inside my chest when I saw the bottle settled just beside the window edge. I tipped forward and narrowed my gaze upon it.

“Why was it there?”

My voice echoed within the spacious room, and every muscle in my body clenched. I blinked my eyes for a minute or so, inhaling a deep breath and holding it in for a second. That was creepily weird. I hoped I still kept a saner head at times like this, and for sure I didn’t say ‘Why was it there?’ loud enough for my voice to echo. I muttered under my breath for God sake! So, the million-dollar question was: where did that voice come from?

Instinctively, I rolled over to the other edge of the bed to grab my bag. I just made up my mind to call Eunjung over. Tonight wasn’t a typical night. It could be that I was just hallucinating, delusional or whatever it was, regardless, my mental couldn’t handle this. Without much hesitation, I just grasped at anything that my hand made contact with; since I was pretty sure, my bag was there where I left it earlier on.

“What the ?” I mirrored myself from the reflection of the bottle I was holding at now. It wasn't the bag that I knew.

I turned quickly toward the window and my shoulders sagged. From then onwards, every muscle in my body clenched.

It was gone.

The bottle was gone. It was no longer there, but it was in my grasp. How could that possible?

My hand rocked as I pressed it against my mouth. My limbs were numb, I wanted to leave the room as soon as possible but it won’t listen to my brain’s command. Everything happened in brink of time, I was dumbfounded. What actually happening now? My mind out, I couldn’t think straight. Moments later, something wet ran down my hands and just as my senses interpreted that it was flowed from the hand that grasped the bottle, I felt sick in my stomach. There was some kind of liquid leaking out from the bottle. It was whitish, sticky and fouled smelled that I almost puked out.

‘Pranggg...’

I threw the bottle away and hastily rubbed my hand against the bed sheet to get rid of that stickiness. I held my breath and jumped off from the bed and it was then my phone rang. I dashed my bag and pulled out the phone.

“Come over my house, now!”

I didn’t even know who was in the line, and I couldn’t care less. Strange things happened around me, I just want to get someone here and then I would think of something. Thankfully, my brain still functioning at times like this.

“I was already at your door,” The husky voice answered with deep sounding chuckle.

As if my life depending on it, I scuttled my way out from the room and sprinted with only my bra and on. When I was out from my room then only I realized that it was raining outside. But that fact only frightened me more because in my room, there was not even a single drop of rain audible in my ears. I don’t remember having a soundproof room. The hair over my nape stood up as I ran, I smelled something sweet brushing against the tip of my nose and it kind of pumped up my heart rate even more.

My hands juddered as I pressed the access button adjacent to the door. The air suddenly felt chillier and when I turned my head to one side, I saw the nostalgic liquid dripping off the floor from somewhere far above.

“Oh.My.God...” One by one, the phrases escaped through my parted lips. A shiver ran up and down in my spine. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t think and I couldn’t move – all I could hear were the escalating sounds of my own heart.

“Who-Whoa!”

I shrieked at the top of my lungs as someone grabbed me from behind. Soft heat flowed from the body of that person behind me. If it weren't that person who supported me, grabbed me by the waist, I would’ve collapsed on the floor because right at this moment, my knees were totally giving away of me.

“What the are you...”

In a flash, I turned around, facing him and damn, out of anyone it was Kai. Without much thought, I crashed my body against him, burying my head within his chest. We were grinding against each other for sometimes as I desperately struggled to put my hands around the tops of his arms and tightened my grip over his upper body.

“Som-Something was there!” My voice out came out tight, strained.

My hands trembled as I pointed at where the liquid was dripping from – the ceiling.

“What was there?” He asked tonelessly.

“. Song Hyuna! Why are you doing all this?” A hissing sound echoed beside my ear. The beating of his heart was as loud as mine. Infesting my mind was none other than the thing that seemingly there, somewhere, watching over me, – us.

“Song Hyuna...” I froze and my heart leapt at the unfamiliar accent that tinted his voice. For one terrifying moment, an alarm triggered in my brain like something dreadful were about to happen.

“Stop pretending! What are you trying to do, uh?” His tone had gotten icy, but there was no way I would let go of him. I rather stayed this way for the whole night. We stood there for a minute or so, but the feelings, the fear didn’t go away.

“Did you plan all these to set me up and get me arrested again?”

He pushed my body away, but I bounce back at him shamelessly. Oh God.

“Please don’t let me go! Please...I-I was afraid...” There was a plea in my voice. I don’t give a damn about what he would perceive of me, but I won’t let him go, no matter what happen.

‘Song Hyuna…’

It was that voice again, ringing in my ears. It felt like my heart was squeezed from the inside, the pain was too much for me to handle so I stepped backward. His hands were grabbing at my shoulders. Those bright brown eyes of him were staring dangerously at me. I didn’t dare to look straight into his eyes, not after what happened a month ago. Eunjung was right, he had been released from the custody. I bet he came to make me pay for my doings at him.

“How could you? Why were you doing that to me? Huh?” His voice rising up an octave. I fidgeted; my body were still shaking in the aftershocks.

“Why did you do it?” His voice bellowed with rage.

While meeting with his gaze, I stepped away.

“Kai, I-I don’t think this-this is the right-right time...to-to talk abo-about th-that,” With both hands in front of my chest, I shook my head hard. 

My pulse weakened. Standing on my own without Kai’s long arms curled around me was utterly impossible.

Sneering, he let loose of my body only to scan at my almost- body from head to toe with his gleaming eyes. I was so helpless to feel embarrassed now. Something not right was happening in this house. The bottle...it was supposed to be beside the windowpane but how come in the second, it was already in my grasp?

“You’re so going to pay for this!” he said with a condescending tone.

“You don’t understand, Kai! Something was in my room...there was...a thing...”

“Fine, let’s go to your room then!” I clenched my lips as the corner of his mouth curled up, smirking evilly.

“No, no!” With all might, I shook my head hard, pleaded that he would grasp the desperateness in my voice.

“I’m not going in there! Something is there, Kai!” I swallowed hard, hoping to get his attention.

“Did you put camera in there? It’s fine with me. Let’s put on a good show!” His words were tinged with malice.

He wouldn’t listen. Kai was a stubborn, premature and moron. My head was about to explode.

“No, no!” I cried out loudly, even trying to elbow him in the stomach. “I can’t...please!” I won’t going anywhere, no, never. “Let’s just get out from this house!” I begged him earnestly. He had no idea what I’ve been through in that room. When the corner of my eye caught a blurry movement, I lost my balance for a seconds.

“You’re not going anywhere.” Kai wrapped my arms tightly and turned by body around to face him.

My eyes lit up to him as I pressed my palms together to plead him. Out of habits, I started to chew my thumbnail and it was then he threw my body over his shoulder. As if he knew the direction of my bedroom, he led me there.

I was in trouble.

Kai kicked off the door and it opened upon the next seconds. The nerves were building up in the pit of my stomach; the air within the room was so uniquely sweet that it thrilled me from the top of my head to the tip of my feet.  For heaven sake, I had never used fragrance in my room before, and it didn’t smell like this when I left just now. Something must have been here all those times. My stomach clenched like a fist just by imagining about it.

“I’ll tear every piece of your body until you couldn’t even move an inch tomorrow!” A dire look went past his face and fear crept through me.

“Ple-Please…” I said breathlessly.

“If you make any more sound, you’re so going to regret it!” He glared down at me, exasperated.

I collapsed on the bed that I dread so much. Kai entrapped me with both knees on both sides of my torso. I lifted my legs to push him away, but he seized my wrists using one hand and the other began to roll up his shirt.

I gasped and commanded, “Stop! Please!”

He paused to chew the corner of his mouth, pressing my wrists above my head and sealed my lips with hungry kisses. I thought I just saw a figure towering behind him, something that scared me tremendously, my heart stopped.

“K-Kai...” My voices trembled. Darkness swallowed the room, and I don’t think Kai just realized that.

‘Hyuna-yah, when are you going to wake up?’

‘Mom missed you so much. I begged you, please come back to us, uh?’

Mom's voices rang in my head. For split seconds, I thought I was in somewhere else – a bright cold room. There were a very prominent sounds nearby me, was it a ticking sound? Or, machinery-like sounds? What was it? Then, I caught a glimpse of mom beside me, puffy eyes, the tip of her nose was reddish, and tears were racing down her cheek.

‘Our Hyuna...sh-she just opened her eyes! Hyuna yah...Hyuna!’

‘Mom...’

A moment later, I was back inside my room again, Kai atop of me with his bared-upper body. My hands shook as I pressed it against my lips. I was swirled with emotions here and there. What was happening to me? I was in a completely different setting just now. Clearly, I saw mom...she cried.

“Don’t cry...”

He started caressing my cheek and leaned in to kiss the tears that flowed from the corner of my eyes. His eyes looked at me painfully as I stared wearily at him. My shoulders racked in sobs. Conflicting feelings welled inside of me, took my breath away. I gulped and scanned through my room. The lighting was dim, but I can no longer saw that “thing” behind Kai. Was it all my imagination? Did I turn this way because I skipped the medications? That was why I started to see things others don’t?

I was lying vulnerably on the bed while Kai used that opportunity to drop kisses everywhere he desired.

“I’m not going to hurt you.” His husky voices send the shivers up and down to my spine. Lightly, he nibbled the shell of my ear. There was a reassurance in his glowing eyes, and that officially won me over.

Somewhere in my memory, I thought I’ve seen Kai so many times, even before the planned was schemed for Eunjung’s revenge. Every time his deep, penetrating eyes gazed at me, I was lost in two extremes of conscience and fulfilment. Moments like this, as if my heart was gripped before it was torn into millions of pieces but yet all I could think about was the guilt that invading my mind, and also, Cha Eunjung.

The three of us, was it fate that brought us together? Never in all my eighteenth years, had I pictured to meet someone like her, and him. They completed me, both of them.

“Hyuna. You and I, we have unfinished business...” His dark brown orbs flashed darkly into mine, coursing through my veins and made me felt safe and sounds.

Gently, he smoothed my hair and brushed it back, then captured my lips for a fierce kiss. I parted my mouth, allowing our tongues to entwine together. I was drowned in ecstasy and yet, it didn't feel wrong. The fear disappeared and pleasure was all that consumed me. He tugged me closer than ever and there was this soft, intoxicating heat radiated from him; it was then I found myself developing unreasonable fondness toward him. His embrace felt like a form of catharsis, as though I was born into a new person.

“Hyuna yah!”

The familiar voice pulled me out from my stream of thoughts. My eyes transfixed at the door. Eunjung stood there at the entrance, deadly pale with her eyes darted through me and the man lying on top of me. A torrid look plastered on her face.

“Eunjung ah!” I shouted, pushing Kai away from me as he looked at me disbelievingly.

“Cha Eunjung?” He wept, furiously brought his both hands tangled with his hairs.

“Eunjung ah, I would be 100 times better than him. I would travel all around the world to find the best match for you, I promised. If looking at the clouds reminded you of him, then I would be the tender skies that forever sheltered your existence.”

The vows I used to say during our times spinning in my head. Every step I take, my heart soared painfully. The normal me prided myself on not getting hurt, let alone telling others they had hurt me, but with Eunjung, it was the opposite – I wanted her to see, to feel, and to live with the same amount of hurt – like me.

From what it seem like forever, we were looking at each other, without a single word from the both of us. The tension that built up between us had enough force that it could be felt in the chest.

“Song Hyuna.” Every nerve in my body stirred up by her mere voice.

“It’s not like what you think!” I exclaimed breathlessly.

I managed to throw an explanation but to no avail. Her face crumpled from before. It was that expression again, the one I couldn’t read at all and it vexed me, greatly. Curse at me, spit on my face, pull my hair out...or whatever it was. Wasn’t that she supposed to do? She was keeping her silent with her brown downcast eyes, her shoulders fell with both hands dropped on her sides.

“So, that was it? You were the culprit for-.“

Just when Kai was about to march at the door, I clasped at his hand.

“Song Hyuna...Cha Eunjung...the both of you!” His bellowed filled the room. He swatted my hand off him and turned around just to grab at his shirt.

“The both of you were going to pay for this! For...everything!” After his last words, he stomped away and left the room.

“Cha Eunjung, yo-you...”

He stopped in front of Eunjung and threw his index fingers at her. All the while, Eunjung eyes were fixated on me, not even sparing a glance at Kai.

I closed my eyes again and again but regardless of both, all I could picture was her. A few minutes after Kai had left, and I heard a slammed on the door, Eunjung turned and left too, without saying anything. As though a sharp dagger mercilessly right to my core, I let myself fell on the floor and began hitting my chest repeatedly.

The heartaches that once controlled me, resurfaced, doubling the pain, and took everything away from me, even Cha Eunjung. It was the same pattern of leaving and always bearing the similar consistencies – every time, I would never had the courage to say, ‘Don’t go,' instead I just let them slipped away, silently watching as our distance getting farther away. I sort of adapt to this whole scenario where people were leaving. Only that this time around – I was the inflictor and the one being inflicted was Cha Eunjung.

Eight Months and Two Weeks after the Accident

Ever since that day, my heart hadn’t been able to feel at ease – I couldn't move on. Everywhere I went, there was this stuffiness in my chest, accompanying me. Normally, sedatives could be handful at times like this but contrarily, I keep having nightmares about something, or rather someone vaguely until it got to the point that I dread going to bed.  

Eunjung had been missing in action for two weeks ever since our last encounter. I hoped school could’ve bring some resolution to all this but I felt utterly miserable when she even didn’t attend any of her regular classes; also, her cell phone was unreachable. If worse comes to the worst, I had actually planned to pay a visit to her house but the funny realization was, I didn’t know where she lived at. I felt incredibly defeated that there wasn’t anything about her that I knew for certain. And that alone would’ve picture me as what kind of a friend I was to Eunjung.

I was expecting that she would’ve come to our commonplace and so, from time to time, I would go there to wait for her. A knot grew in my stomach every time I laid there, under the vast blue skies but nothing felt the same anymore. The incident upon that day whirled in my head though it didn’t change the fact that she was no longer beside me, and the place that once belonged to her was now empty. It was me who ruined everything – Song Hyuna.

‘Eunjung ah. I missed you.’

The bird chirped on the nearby trees; water spurted from the fountain at the center; clouds serenade upon the big blue skies and I, pondered whether I was truly at fault. Throughout these years where I barely had any friends that stick around with me for more than three months, I had come to realize my ultimate flaw – apologies. Albeit sometimes I knew it was my fault but I never made the first attempt to do it. That was why I tended to be alone because once I got used of it, I wouldn’t have to mingle with others and fall into the dilemmas. But, everything started to change when a person goes by the name of Cha Eunjung walked into my life. She was the reason I have changed and because of her – my frosty heart learnt how to settle down – to feel.

‘Eunjung ah. I really, really, really missed you.’

I messed up real bad and I had nothing in hand to defend myself. But still, I was eager to let Eunjung know that the thing with Kai was an inevitable-turned-misunderstanding sort of happening. He was happened to be there just when I desperately in need of someone. Anyone in my shoes would've done the same shameless thing I did to Kai, though I had to also admit that there was indeed a part of me that selfishly desired for his attention, then again, under those uptight circumstances, I just couldn't help it – I was too afraid, confused and mentally unstable. I did learn a lesson from it– never skipped my anti-depressant medications ever again. Perhaps skipping it could been one the factors inviting all these myriad of problems.

“Excuse me, Song Hyuna-ssi?"

Someone lightly tapped me over the shoulder while I was waiting for the lift to open. Startled, I pulled out one of the earphone from my ear and abruptly turned to the left.

"Ye-Yeah." I nodded politely. My eyes scanned her from head to toe."Madam King? I'm sorry that I couldn't recall you just now," I explained in a soft muffled voice.

As I tucked the hair behind my ear, I bowed again. Madam King was the landlord of the house that I was currently living at. I met her several times before when she came to my house during the first few days I moved inside this building. She kindly offered me any help that I needed of. She had this stony expression on her face whenever she talked to people but inwardly, she was a kind, gentle and considerate person one would ever meet in their lives. I wasn’t sure as why I couldn’t recognize her at first glance because she had this distinct feature with her that seemingly made her memorable to others. She imparted the vibes of a refined lady in her mid-forties, and albeit her skin was pale as porcelain, but she still looked effortlessly beautiful with it. As of today, she looked completely different from her usual appearances. Her hair had turned into a frizzy mess, she had lost some weight and more than that, she was wearing sleeveless pyjamas around during early morning. Maybe it was my imagination but from the last time I had seen her, she really did change a lot – both the appearances and the “feel” from it.

I was half expecting that she was going to talk with me so I waited in lieu there was a pregnant pause between us. There had been a time where she looked like she was about to say something but then there was nothing came out of her. All of a sudden, it started to feel hot and stuffy, and I couldn’t help but to wave my hands in front of my face. Just when I was about to put back the earphone into my ear, my peripheral vision saw her turn toward me and it prevented me from doing so.

“Pardon?” I titled my head to her and asked humbly.

She looked away for a moment and I thought I saw her lips curved up hinting for a smirk but never knew what it implied as. "Hyuna-ssi, do you perhaps have any problems during your stay in that house?" she asked cautiously.

My jaw dropped. A chill ran over me as she mentioned the word “house”. Her tone was unusual though.

"Uh, I...well, uhm, I..."

The words were fighting on their way out; again, I wasn’t sure why I acted that way. In fact, I had been planning to talk it out with her before but due to all the problems in hand, it just slipped off my mind and I had eventually forgotten about it.

“Actually there were a few residents came to me and complained about you, Song Hyuna-ssi...” She placed one hand on my shoulder, and my eyes broadened instantly due to the coldness from her touched. Spontaneously, my shoulder tilted a little to her side.

"Uh? Complaints?” I tried to control the tremble in my voice. “Really?" A knot started to form in my stomach. "Bu-But what did they say about me?" I cocked one brow and huffed daringly.

Her expression darkened and I waited for her reply but she persistently stared at me with unblinking eyes.

I tried to fill in the silence as I continued, “Truthfully, I was the one that supposed to make the complaints. The house was way too...hot, smelly and something was in there! I had been living in hotel for two weeks now; I didn't even have the guts to enter my room and packed my clothes! Actually, I planned to take some for today, but I was too freaked out when I opened the door because the smell was..."

I began to stream with uneasiness when she was looking widely at me, open-mouthed but voiceless. My heart was thunderous as I started feeling awkward around her.

I in a long breath for seconds or so before exhaled deeply with hands balled into fists beside me.

"So, what was the complaint all about?" I raised my voice trying to make my presence more imposing; the rage was building up in the pit of my stomach. While I tried my hardest to forget the memories in that night, this lady came and stirred me up all over again and left me hanging afterward.

"So, you weren’t home for the whole week and only came back today?”

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes only to replace it with a sourly sigh. She cleared up and leaned a bit closer while gesturing at me to come forward as well. All of a sudden, the atmosphere around us turned gloomy and the lighting went spooky in a flash. My heart skipped a beat when I noticed her piercing gaze at me.

"Wh-What?" I cocked an eyebrow and glanced at my feet, trying to shake off those weird sensations.

"I'm not your dream...but your worst nightmare..." Her hushed voice triggered an instant warning from head to my toes.

Just as I lifted up my chin to look at her again, there was no one there. I turned to every angle, searching for her but I was utterly alone.

Alone. Intermittently, the winds whirled about the hallway and that was it.

"Holy !" I shrieked.

The butterflies tied a knot in my stomach and the pressure grew in my head. My eyes instinctually fell upon the lift’s button and began to press it repeatedly. I thought I was about to faint from holding in my breath while waiting for the lift to open. I had been waiting since earlier and the lift hadn't open yet. What the heck was going on in these building? For every freaking second, my head would automatically turn to the right as if I was expecting someone there. Where the heck Mrs King did went off to? She was there...I clearly saw her. I spoke with a human, did I?

"Song Hyuna..."

“Oh crap.” I squeezed my eyes and gritted my teeth.

On the spur of the moment, a rush of cold air blew over me, causing the hair on the back of my neck stood up. My skin crawled as a weird sensation ran over me. Restlessly, my hand pressed the lift’s button, prayed earnestly that it would open on the next seconds.

"Why didn't it open already?" I gasped, purisng my lips.

I was crazy - beyond crazy. Was this a dream? A nightmare? Then please, get me out of here. I want to wake up, I want to leave.

"Song Hyuna-ssi."

"Hyuna yah,"

I closed my eyes and prayed. I won't open it, not until I die. No.

"Yah."

The urge to open my eyes was greater than ever, but deep down I knew that I wouldn’t be able to deal with the aftermath. Moments later, an odd surge filled my chest; there was not a single sound to be heard.

"Song Hyuna-ssi, why are you closing your eyes?”

My eyes flickered. It sounded like Madam King’s voice, so my frenzied heart calmed down a little. I opened my eyes, turned to the side where the voice came from. I gasped in big gulps of cold air that filled my lungs.

“Ow...wow! Yay!” I gasped in big gulps of cold air that filled my lungs. Every system in my body threatened to shut down as my eyes traveled up meeting with her smoky gazed. Her spine—chilling stare seemed to bore into the depths of my soul, trying to me in.

"Yo-You..." A little eek escaped my lips as I pressed my hand against it. I felt like throwing up when I noticed her transparent feet, barely touching the floor. The white dress she wore was stained with blood and dirt. Something dripped off the floor and my brain was quick to register it as the liquid that leaked through the bottle at that time. The déjà vu smell sneaked into every pore in my body. Squeezing my lips hard, I tried not to scream, but the outburst in my chest just couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Argh!"

There was no question that the thing I was wasn’t a human. I swallowed hard as my body ricocheted from the floor, twisted my body onto the back and I was on my feet instantly. My heart reared up like a startled horse on its mid-gallop. Oh God, did I really lose my mind?

I rushed straight up front and ran for my life.

"Oh gawd...Oh gawd!"

My steps halted as I already reached at the end of the hallway.

"..."

The images I saw beforehand kept flashing in my mind. Countless of queries popped out in my mind; my head throbbed painfully. For one terrifying second, I somewhat knew that creature – It looks familiar to me. Shortly, an image snapped in front of my mind's eye and so, my step halted.

"Eunjung-ssi?" My mind was distracted by the sudden realization. I wasn't sure why that name had to come out from my mouth but still, I e small step at a time, all the while keeping my gaze on the floor. Sweat soaked every piece of clothing on my body, like I was in some kind of race.

"Eu-Eunjung-ssi?"

To shed the fear that spreading through my veins, I raised my voice deliberately. Mentally, I was doing the counting – one, two...and three. With great determination, I managed to look up front and a breath of relief escaped via my lips. Not even a strain of hair was seen, there was nothing in there. I must have been a real psycho if even for a second; I thought that figure looked similar to Eunjung. I shook my head hard to ward off the uneasiness that seeped in. Next, I clutched at my bagpack and opened it in haste. My hands were still shaking from the aftershock. Perhaps after eating my medicine, things would get better. Perhaps everything was just my imagination.

“Not again.” I sighed dejectedly. How could it be not there? For sure, I had shoved it inside my bag this morning. My mind went blank. Series of unfortunate events plummeted on me, tormenting me severely.

“When would everything end?” Slowly, the feeling started to kick in and thus closed my eyes, prayed that I would get a resolution sooner.  

‘Tok.Tok.Tok.’

No.No.No.

After a several encounter, the nostalgic sounds inevitably remained in my head. I had no inkling of what about to happen as I stood there, struggled with every breath. Something just makes contact with the tip of my feet; I sort of get the vibe from it. Hesitantly, I glanced downward and my mouth gapped instantly. My eyes blinked away with tears as the terror crawled inside me.

The bottle.

I gulped and my mind was doing the countdown. One, two…and three. I let out a shaky breath and turned around wearily.  The heart that had kept me alive until now felt as if it was pounding in my throat; every joint in my body weakened and with just one more, one more blow and it would split up.

“If you hadn’t found me I would have found you…” The breathless voice totally knocked me out of the comfort zone. Gushes of blood rushed to the tip of my head as I confronted with the ghastly sight of the similar creature. 

“Oh gawd.Oh gawd. What was happening…why…” All muscles in my body clenched at once. Mindlessly, I shrieked in fear and began to sprint like life depended on it.

“Youuu…areee…mineee…”

The hoarse, grumbled voice reverberated within the whole area. I kept running ahead, skipping through the flight of stairs and with one wrong move, I tripped over and collapsed backward.

“Ouch…” Pain impeded my next movement. If previously I couldn’t feel my legs, now the feel started to kick in, and the pain was awfully terrible. Briefly, everything went white and the malicious laugher rang in my eardrum.

“Oh God…help! Help!”

Reflexively, I dragged myself up with one hand while the other one clutched at my sprained ankle; though it was deadly painful to move, there was no way I could just wait and get caught. The usual me would have already given up amid all this ruckus but no, not this time because there was a force in me kept pushing me forward – Survive. Survive. Survive.

“That’s right. I can’t give up now. There’s still a lot of things I need to do…I haven’t apologise to Eunjung yet…I promised to Eunjung I would find the best match for her…I haven’t hear she call me Cha Hyuna yet…I-I…still want to meet mom…and…dad…Kai…”

Only today did I realize that life was indeed so short. If this was a dream, I wished I would’ve wake up sooner or later, as long as I woke up.

“Argh!” I screamed at the tops of my lungs. Something cold, cold to the bone grabbed the ankle of mine, thus mercilessly ripping me down the stairs. My body was twisted deliberately to left and right with both of my hands scrambling at the sides to hold myself in place but I was no match with the beings crawling at the bottom of the stairs.

That face! Wh-What?

“Song…Hyuna…give…up…your…life…” An icy chill ran down my spine as her deep voice boomed in my ear.

And so, realization flooded my mind. The monster was actually me – me. All the oxygen in my respiratory system was snatched by her protruded ruby eyes that glowered down at me. 

“Give…me…your…body…”

I gasped and that strained, deliberate voice of her had paralyzed my limbs. Painstakingly, I angled my body stiffly to the right and grabbed at one the stairs handle; with whatever leftover strength I had, I swung my left hand to join the other. In no time at all, I was already clung myself with it clinging to it.

“Give…me…”

The monster pushed her body upward and crawled atop of me. I was awestricken. Every muscle in my body began to twitch tremendously.

“Song…Hyu…na…”

How does she even ing know my name? Scratch that. She even possessed the similar face as I was. Her face was distorted, crooked and fall all over the places. How could that be me?

“Give…up…”

She grabbed at my wrist painfully; the severity of the pain felt directly to my bone that I couldn’t help but to let go of the stairs support, left with only one hand clung at it. She squeezed my wrist so hard; I was so freaked out that it would break in no time. She leaned closer and closer until our faces were just an inch away.

“Oh…dam..n…” I roared, pulling away but my strength was no match to her.

“Gi…ve…up…” she demanded through gritted teeth.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about! Who are you?”

I just asked a question to a monster that look alike me. And here I thought, that would only happen in movie, fairy tale. I tried to shut my eyes but it stayed opened, wide and staring face to face with that monster.

Endless stream of tears ran over my cheek. My eyes were sore from the never-ending tears. Now that it came to this, I now remember that she was the one I saw behind Kai last time and the voices used to command me all the time was hers. What does she want from me?

“Song Hyuna!”

The voice of someone I knew resounded in the area, echoed in my brain.

“Overcome your fear!”

The voice sprang up somewhere from the bottom of the stairs, far below and I could hear the tapping sounds of foot running upward the stairs.

The monster atop of me grew more alert than ever. She hastily tore the upperside of the clothing and spread her palm above my chest. My eyes widen from the pain that was inflicted on me. The hand that used to hold the stairs handle detached by its own and now shifted to grab a hold at her wrist.

“Argh! It hurt…let me go!” I screamed painfully. My hands trembled as I held on her wrist.

“Argh!” I heard a snap over my wrist, for a second, I thought it was broken for sure.

“Hyuna! She can’t do anything if you don’t allow her!”

The voices were getting nearer but it didn’t bother me anymore. There was a tremendous rock embodied in me, impeding with every inspiration. To me, even moving a finger would double the pain. Both of my hands laid at the side, no longer clamping at the monster’s wrist. I was completely drained out of energy, just killed me off instead and took this pain away, I prayed.

“Song Hyuna. Just like that, give up your body and I’ll be the new owner!” She breathed so hard until her nostrils flared. My heartbeat sped up to the utmost degree.

“I’ve been waiting for so long…Song Hyuna…”

I felt like I wanted to mentally slap at her. Darn it. She sounded so human-like that panic grown in me. Her skin was fairer, and almost half the bruises were gone; her previously distorted face morphed finely; it cringed me that at some point, her features started to resemble mine.

“Hyuna yah! Don’t let her take over you!”

My eyes bobbed closed and opened through will. The monster glowered atop of me, there was no way I would’ve bear to hold my gaze upon it. The monster smirked evilly when I half-opened my eyes, and that was a sheer torture. In no time at all, my vision turned hazy.

“Cha Hyuna!”

I wasn’t sure what was the feelings that overwhelming in me just as she called me, Cha Hyuna. But nonetheless, the impact of that voice provided a brand new courage in me. I opened my eyes and tilted my head slightly below.

“Eun-Eunjung ah…”

Eunjung’s face was paler than ever. I don’t think I had ever seen this side of her before. She was not a weakling, her body had always been in a good shape, but today she looked cachexic. We exchanged glances for a moment and it felt so different. Tears were tracking down her cheek, her bloodshot eyes stared at me, sort of conveyed something to me.

“Listen Cha Hyuna! You have to listen to me! You can do it! You can! You’re the bravest human in this whole universe…you are!” She appeared energized than ever when she uttered those words.

“I can’t…Eunjung ah…I was afraid.” I shook my head, still closing my eyes.

“Hyuna yah, look at me!” she insisted.

I inhaled deeply and held it in, turning toward her with half-opened eyes.

“Look straight in her eyes…and told her, you’re the owner of your own body! No one could replace you…you’re the boss! Tell her that…tell her and she would vanish instantly!”

“Wh-What?”

I could barely hear her. How can I focus when there was a creepy monster glared at me with only an inch away? That was absurd. I thought this would only happen in film. My stomach was clenching into a fist, and the acid in there regurgitated all the way up to my throat.

“We’re trapped in this world! In the real world, our bodies were in coma!”

The sudden clarification from Eunjung made my heart leap. I blinked my eyes and the pain started to feel numb but it didn’t hurt as before. I felt the surge of something in my chest. Pieces by pieces, everything started to connect in my brain.

“Our real bodies were in coma. This world was not real; it was a world for the wandering soul. And those things that haunting us…were…the soulless creature that wanted to overtook our body in the real life.” She further explained.

My jaw dropped as I listened to what she had said to me.

“Listen. Whatever that was set in this world was not real, at all. They messed up with everything; they made us believe exactly the opposites from that of the real world!”

The lumpy sensation in my throat cause my mouth opened and desperately gasping for air. 

“There was only one way you could leave. Overcome your fear and retrieve the memories from that day. If you were able to do that, you’ll beat out the monster that trying to seize your body. They wouldn’t stand a chance. Do it! You can do it!”

“Leave this world and live. Breath. Live.”

Her last words stuck in my brain, only to get more and more prominent. I nailed the surface of my hand to alert myself. For a while, my own heartbeat was all that audible to me.

I have come to this place before.

Cold.

Bright room.

That was it; something clicked in me. It was that night in my house, when Kai tried to me. I’ve been in here before, it was a brief period of time – a bright cold room. I froze in my spot, eyeing on the other people that passed by me one after another. My heart started to palpitate when I saw a nurse pushing on a trolley and went through my body. In an instance, I shut my eyes closed but there was no sound, no pain, everything seemed quiet. Shouldn’t there be some noises? Like stuff fall upon the floor?

I opened my eyes and turned around. The nurse with the trolley was already like five meters away from me. How could this be possible?

“Did I die?” Dazedly, I spread my palms and take a closer look at it.

“Why?”

“You should go home and rest, madam. Tonight, let me take care of her. Please.”

Hastily, I turned my head to where the voices were heard from. Upon hearing that voices, something snapped in my mind, shivered me from the inside.

“How can I get home and rest? Our Hyuna was here...she would be afraid, lonely. This girl was afraid of stranger, do you know that? What if no one she knew was around when she wake up?”

What was more sinister than the pungent smell of blood? – Seeing my own body lying on the bed, with closed eyes.

My hands stuttered as I pressed it against my mouth. How could this possible?

“Mom? Dad? You guys were...beside me all along? I was-was...lying there...all along?”

No one could see me; my presence was transparent to them. Repeatedly, I blinked my eyes but I still couldn’t accept the fact that my body was laying on one of the bed inside the ward.

“Why? How did this happen?”

“Was it really beating? Did I...still alive...or not?”

I spread my palm against my chest. I felt it and I saw the ups and down of my chest so why? I was a living person, I was alive! If-If someone had died, weren’t they supposed to go to somewhere called the heaven or hell? If-If my body was still there, that would only mean...I was indeed alive, right?

“Mom...Dad...”

“Please look over here, mom, dad. Please...your daughter was here! Song Hyuna was here!”

The sudden clarification and alertness struck me hard and it was the most painful experience I had ever felt. In that world, I spent my days hating my parents with all my might but in the end, they were besides me all these times. What have I done? What do I do? 

“It’s alright, I will not leave her, I promise, alright? Now, please let me stay and take care of her. She’s my daughter too! She’s my Song Hyuna! Why are you being selfish?”

My eyes darted between mom and dad. The both of them had changed a lot. They lost weight. Why did their faces looked so sad? I couldn't bear it. I couldn't. I just couldn't. The clothes that mom was wearing, the polka dotted dress, was the present I gave her. It looked so worn out already so why was she still wearing it? Didn’t she have any other better clothes? I gasped, a sharp pain intruded in every inch of my flesh. 

“Hyuna, I haven’t tell her that I loved her so much. She can’t just leave us like that, she can’t! Please God, please don’t take away Hyuna from us.” Mom kept hitting her chest frantically, and I stood there, unable to do anything.

I raced toward her, toward mom. She had been always the mother that I dearly love. She was beside my-my...unconscious body all along. She was beside me. She never left me. She was there when I was crying, tapped over my shoulder and plaited my head like she used to do.

“Mom! Dad!”

I hunkered down beside mom and leaning against the edge of the bed. Mom looked so awfully weak. Her cheekbone was visible even from beside; she wasn’t like this in the past. And dad, I had never seen his face like that before; he had always been a perfectionist, fashionista; not only was his hair unkempt but-but...

“Patient bed three in arrest, call the Anaest, bring in defibrillator and emergency trolley!”

An insurmountable pain felt in my chest. In a flash, my body collapsed onto the floor and everything turned into pitch black.

“Song Hyuna! Hyuna yah!”

When I opened my eyes, my body was back on the stairs. The monster whistled beside my ears and chuckled. My body tensed up. The ugly monster had now partially resembled me. I gulped as realization hit me hard. Something didn't feel right about it. Something felt odd about all of these happenings. Why did everything feel so real and yet awfully unbelievable at the same time?

“There was no time! If the monster succeeded in the transformation, Song Hyuna, you could never leave here…you would trap here forever!” Eunjung’s voice pulled me out from the edge of confusions. Her wordings threw a punch in my gut. I turned to her side and stared into her eyes. Her expression was livid.

“Eun-Eunjung ah, what do I do? I saw my parents...I saw my mom, my dad...and me...What should I do? I was so afraid! What do I do?” I squeezed my eyes, then all the memories that we spent in this world, from the beginning until this very moment, everything flooded inside my mind with one fell swoop. I puffed, my body felt numb, I can’t feel any of it, I can’t move my body at all.

“Song Hyuna! Pulled yourself together! Do you hear me? You owned your body! Don’t let the monster took you in! Don’t give it up, you moron! Unlike me and the others in this world, you had the highest chance to survive! Yah, stupid! Do you want to be trapped here forever, uh? Do you like it here? Song Hyuna!”

She was right. Eunjung was right. I don’t want to live here, especially when my parents were waiting for me in the real world. Trapped? Hell no. I don’t want that but, but...it stung – her words were smothering me. I don’t get it at all, why the sudden twist of event? If this world was virtual, if I supposed to leave, if I didn’t belong here, then how about Eunjung? What about her? What was she?

“Song Hyuna, you’re just a pathetic human parasite. Just stay here with that beloved friend of you, and I’ll take over your place.” An evil grin plastered all over that monster's face. I was shocked than ever the moment our eyes met. Holy . I mirrored myself when I saw her. She looked exactly like me.

“You have your family waiting for you! And also your real life boyfriend, Kai! He was your boyfriend all along…not mine! This world messed up with our mind; our memories were fabricated so they could manipulate us easily! Trust me, they were waiting for you day and night! They didn’t abandon you at…all! Your mother, your father and even your step-siblings, they were praying hard for your return! Don’t let them down! I beg you…please leave! Do not stay here anymore! Please…I really really…want you to live, Song Hyuna.”

Gushes of feelings seeped into my entire body. That look plastered on her face was as gentle as ever, just like the Cha Eunjung that I knew. Seeing her that way, my heart was in so much pain. I gritted my teeth. Suddenly, it all came back to zero – between us. The corner of curled up lopsidedly, and yet those expressions on her face remain undecipherable.

“Song Hyuna! You can’t have a single wish to stay here! Throw it all away! You must abandon e..ve..ry piece of you in this world. If your attachment grew stronger here than the real world, you can’t leave! Hey, hey you! Look at me, Song Hyuna!”
 

I can’t. I can’t look at her. Her eyes, the darkest eyes I’d ever admitted, were looking at me, pleadingly.

“When you said living in this world was nicer, Cha Eunjung…was that a lie? After all the times we go through together, how could you ask me to throw it all away like some kind of trashy stuff? Can’t you just say, let us leave together? We could just leave together right? If your body were in come too, then, the both of us still alive! Why can’t you just say that, Cha Eunjung!” Dead or alive, I didn't care anymore. It was not like we were given the option anyway. How could we defeat this monster? There was no way, it was beyond impossible. When my whole body was shaking tremendously just by looking at it, how could we survive this?  

“I-I can’t leave." she said haltingly. "Amongst us, my body had the least chance to wake up.” My heart sank to the bottomless pit of my stomach.I wanted to ask her about it but she was nowhere to be seen.

“Eunjung ah! Cha Eunjung! Eunjung ah!” I shouted for her name frantically.

“Let go of Hyuna, you monster!” Eunjung voice rose up from behind.

“You messed up with our lives! You ing ugly monster!”Eunjung was holding at a hockey stick on her right. She fearlessly swung it to the monster that began to shift her attention toward her.

“Eunjung ah! What are you doing?” I screamed hard. I wanted to get up, but my body won’t listen to me, as if it didn't belong to me anymore.

“Pathetic human, what do you think you can do to me, huh?” The monster snarled at her, approaching her in slow motion. Eunjung was hobbling backward as the monster was approaching.

“Let her go back! You don’t deserve her body! You don’t deserve to live in the human world, you-“ Eunjung hissed, then tightened her grasp at the stick before swung it again and again in front of that monster.

“You little ant! How dare you?” I blinked my eyes repeatedly, trying to stomach each word being said by the monster. I couldn't seem to have the slightest clue of what did it implied by that.

The monster gestured both hands and Eunjung’s body floated in the midair before crashed upon the concrete wall.

“Eunjung...oh no! Eunjung ah...” Fear crept in me when I saw her body thrown effortlessly by that monster.

Thousands of needles pricked on every surface of my body, I caught myself cowered dauntingly. I couldn’t breathe. I closed my eyes and watched her in my imagination. From our very first meeting in the bus, ever since she walked into my life, everything changed for the better. Bit by bit, pieces by pieces, our memories created and sealed. I thought that was what it means to be a friend, friends complement each other and Eunjung, completes me. I too, wanted to become someone like that to her. I wanted to become that kind of friend to her. She was always there for me, so why couldn't I? Muscles in my body went numb as I laid there inanimately, motionless, hopelessly, merely awaiting for my time to halt.

“Hii, Hii, Hii, Hiiiii…”

The bone-rattling evil laughter had spread throughout the area only to amplify the pain that smothering me from inside.

“Yo-You...said you...would...be...skies...fo-for...me...” Eunjung vomited a large amount of blood. When I saw the blood, and the pungent smell of it, something sparked inside me. I swiveled my head at her direction.

“Eunjung ah, don’t cry.” I said mentally; a lumpy sensation was felt in my throat, my voice couldn’t be heard.

The monster grabbed Eunjung’s hair and inched closer. She whispered something into Eunjung’s ear.

“Y-You heartless monster! Y-You will pay for ever-everything!” she screamed painfully before her body flopped onto the ground.

My eyes widened, exasperated. I really wanted to do something, but how? Eunjung was in pain, she needed me. I promised her many things, I promised her…that I would be always, always with her. Song Hyuna, think of something, would you?!

The monster kneeled at Eunjung’s side and looked at her insultingly.

“How dare you, insolent being!” She hissed and spit on her face.

“Don’t…Don’t do it!” I managed to force a voice out, which earn a glance from the monster. She smile lopsidedly.

“How about I smashed her little head in front of you?”

My senses heightened as soon as I heard that malevolent threat from her. I shook my head, weakly.

“No…No…Please…” I muttered under my breath.

“You...promised...me...you...would...find...the be-best...ma-match...for...me...” Eunjung’s scrambled her hands against the wall, struggled to angle her head at me.

My eyes darted between Eunjung and the monster. I had never felt as incredibly defeated as this in my whole life; not when I was crashed into the ravine, not when my parents lied to me…but seeing the both of us, staring at each other like it was our last moments together. This moment.

“You said...in...an...everlasting...bloom...you...would...al-always...be...a friend...” Her hand, face, lips was soaked as she arched her back, struggled to rose up by pressed down on tip toes. She tilted her head to me; her body rested weakly against the wall.

“I...really, really want...you to live. So, please leave...and live. That was all...I wished as a friend.” A bitter smile crept on her lips, it clenched my heart painfully.

“You talked too much, you weakling!” The monster straightened her posture and kicked hard in her stomach, mercilessly. With more and more blood oozing out from the corner of Eunjung’s mouth, the rage within me began to grow.

“That’s enough!” My hands balled into fists as I pushed my body forward. Painstakingly, I reached for the stairs handle. The anguish and pain stored in my heart was too great for me to keep.

“You ! Don’t hurt her!” I gritted my teeth and every ounce of panic in my body wearing away.

The monster glanced at me and twisted her lips for a smirk.

“Your body is mineee! It longs to be mine! You won’t stand a chance against me, you rat!” Her burning eyes shot a dreadful look at me and so I winced, my body was off balance before collapsed onto the floor all over again. My body wasn't listen to me, as if it didn’t belong to me.

“See, what did I told you? Don’t mess with me, Song Hyuna, you’re nothing but a brainless mundane!” Her mere voice had enough force to strangle me from within. I lay on my back, tears were dripping from the corner of eyes. I titled to look at Eunjung who was coughing painfully.

“Eu-Eunjung ah,” I dragged my body to inch toward her. When the monster realized what I meant to do, she stomped her feet in Eunjung’s stomach before shifting it to the side of her neck, pressing down hard.

“Argh!” Eunjung’s voice echoed in my own heart, sending a shiver up and down to my spine. A rush of blood surged inside me, I had enough of all this bull.

“I will smashed her head into pieces! Open your eyes, watch…and enjoy the view!” She barked and laugh hysterically before lifted her leg high up, aiming at Eunjung’s head…

“Overcome your fear!”

"Look straight in her eyes…and told her, you’re the owner of your own body! No one could replace you! Tell her that…tell her and she would vanish instantly!”

Eunjung’s previous command darted in my head. I inhaled deeply and shouted, “I…am the owner of my body!”

The monster turned sharply at me as I began to rise from the floor. I gritted my teeth and continued, “I, Song Hyuna…am the owner of my body! You, or anyone else…no one could, ever, replace, me!” I sternly emphasized each words as told by Eunjung before.

The monster’s eyes grew wide on me. Her face tightened as she began to inch closer to me. There was a surge of something in my chest. I don’t know what it was and I couldn’t care less. All I know, today, there was only one person lived, and that would be either me or that monster.

I want to live.

I really want to.

I don’t want to be in here, I don’t want to live here!

I tilted my head to my front, facing the now-human-like creature in front of me. I dauntlessly stared straight into her eyes.

“I want to live!” I shouted and step forward. “I said…I want to live!”

“Yo-You…” The monster pointed at me and stuttered. I took that as an advantage and take another step forward while she was inching away from me.

“Give me everything back! You don’t deserve any of me, you ing ugly monster!”

Part of her body started to become invisible. I gasped for breath as I saw the impact of it. The ever growing courage within me energized my whole body.

“I want to live…I want to live…I want to live!” She cast a livid glare on me.

With that, her face started to change drastically and returned to its original form.

“.Off.And.Burnt.In.Hell, you monster!” I shouted through gritted teeth.

Instantly, there was an inferno flame ignited from nowhere and started to consume every inch of her body, burnt her whole being in a flash before she disappeared into thin air. Her last words echoed in my eardrum,

"Now is only the beginning..."

Her voices rang in my head and I just couldn’t contain the sudden outburst of pain. Everything turn pitch black on the next seconds. 

“Eunjung ah,”

My closed eyes watched her in imagination, reminiscing our past.

One Year after the Accident

[2014, September]

“Patient bed three in arrest, call the Anaest, bring in defibrillator and emergency trolley!”

 “Everyone clear?”

“Clear!”

 “Charge!”

“VF! Epi, please!”

Eunjung was nowhere to be seen. Yelping like a lost kid searching for her parents, I scanned the room thoroughly. An endless stream of questions plagued in my mind; within seconds, my sight glued on the bed that was undergoing resuscitation, my bed exactly, I caught myself pursing my lips, struggled with every breath.

“I’ll always be here, beside you.”

I stiffly turned around to look at the owner of that voice. I didn't know her but I got the feeling that it wasn't the first time I had looked into her icy brown eyes. Her voices rang in every corner of my brain.

“It’s time for you to be awakened.”

My heart reared up when she held out her hand to me. Without hesitation, I stretched out mine to unite with hers. When our fingertips touched, I felt like a great burden had been lifted from my chest. 

“Retrieve your memories.” said the serene voice.

With that being said, unfamiliar images begin to form in front of my mind’s eye.

“The world that you and I live together, isn’t it nicer?”

Every single word that once said by Eunjung, one by one, ran through my head. All the little things she portrayed, it was like a narration to me. Day by day, she became part of my journey. My eyelashes felt heavier with every second passed, tears accumulated at the corner of my eyes, dripping slowly down my cheek to the surface of my hand.

Accident's Day

[2013, September]

One by one, the memories from the accident flashed in my mind.

 “Can I sit here?”

“We met each other at Meridian’s Scream Park, didn’t we?”

“Cha Eunjung was my name.”

I remembered now. EVERYTHING. The driver lost control of the bus and crashed upon a divider, and then it skidded toward the ravine. There were fifty of us. Most of the front passengers died instantly from the impaction. Some of the middle and back passengers were thrown outside the window. It was the day that I came to know the pungent smell of blood, diversities of human flesh, and the morbidity of death. We were trapped inside the bus; the corpses on both sides of me took my breath away. Memories of the past flooded inside my brain as I lay there inanimately, hopelessly, praying that everything would end quickly so I wouldn't be in pain anymore. When I was about to close my eyes and surrendered to the tragic fate, she reached for my hand and told me: 

“We’ll survive this together.”

“Hold my hands; we’re going to get out from this window.”

Blood oozed out from her hands when she threw a punch at the window with her bare hand. My eyes grew wide by her gross and brave attempt. She turned to me again and spread her bloody hand.

“Come, you go out first, I will hold your body from inside.”

In my whole life, it was my first time seeing such a well-composed girl like her.

“Hyura yah,”

She called me Hyura yah, instead of Hyuna. I wished I could correct her right there where we were, but I didn’t. I took her hand and she firmly squeezed at it.

“Now, you just have to crawl from here and jump on the other side. Be careful, the land is steep. Bend one knee but land using the other one. You understand me? Look at me! Hey, you...Hyura-ssi.”

Her crescent dark eyes rested on me for a moment, concern etched on her face. Then, she reached for my head and plaited at it. Blood originated from the cut at her knuckles running down on my cheek.

“I-I...was...af-afraid. Wh-What if I di-died jumping from here?”

“You won’t. Have a faith on yourself. As soon as you get down there, run for help...okay? Your body is smaller than mine; the chances are higher if you jump from here.”

“Bu-But,”

“Then, I’ll sing while you jump. It would distract you from the fear of it. Okay?”

The tenderness radiated from her gaze had won me over. I wiped off the tears from my face, nodding my head several times before she pulled me into her arms.

“If you survived, I have a favour to ask.” She whispered beside my ear.

“Kris Wu Yi Fan. He was a law student in Serenade University. If I happen to die...please relay to him that, my feelings were real, even if his heart doesn’t belong to me, hundred times or even thousandth more, I won’t regret...” Her voice croaked before she turned away, not wanting to let me see any more tears from her.

“Hyuna...was my name. Song Hyuna.” I closed my eyes and refrained myself from crying.

A faint smile plastered on her face. I twined my fingers with her and we stayed like that for a while. The stuffy sensation in my chest began to lighten as time went by.

“Now, go.”

I fix my eyes on her for few more seconds, as if to remember her face. I leaned forward the now-glassless window and stick out my head from it.

“Oh my gosh,” I blurted out.

As soon as I noted the steep incline, my heart roared up, all muscle clenched at once.

“You have my hearts and we’ll never be worlds apart...”

Eunjung started to sing. Her hand was on the small of my back.

“Maybe in magazines but you’ll still be my star...”

I closed my eyes and inhaled a deep breath.

“Baby cause in the dark you can’t see shiny cars, and that’s when you need me there, with you I’ll always share, because...”

I took out one foot outside, both hands were holding at the window edge.

“When the sun shines, we’ll shine together...”

I outstretched my leg farther forward, and I could sense the cold air making contact with my bare leg.

“Told you I’d be here forever, said I’ll always be a friend...”

After that point, I glimpsed at her for the last time. A puddle of tears trailed down her cheek, though her voice had remained stable. In that moment of time, we were staring into each other’s eyes. No one said anything, but the feelings were boiling inside of me. She was a stranger I had just met an hour ago, but our story won’t end here, this was just a beginning – I will make that happen – I will survive, even if it got to the point where sleep was dreadful. 

I opened my mouth and inhaled deeply; with all my might, I leapt forward.

“Took an oath I’ma stick it out til the end, now that it’s raining more than ever, know that we’ll still have each other, you can stand under my umbrella...”

That was the last I heard from her before I passed out after I successfully landed on the ground.

“The heartbeats are back!”

Someone was holding my hand gently, tightly and jittery. That warmness had spread through my body, building up the security in me. I lifted my eyes halfway and bright light hindered me from spreading my eyes open.

“Hyuna ah! Song Hyuna!”

I heard someone calling for my name; I tried to move but every part of my body was numb and it hurts even to move a finger.

“Eun...Eun...”

Painstakingly, I parted my lips to ask for Eunjung.

“Doctor! She’s awake! Hyuna is awake!”

It was that voice again. A male voice, familiar ones. 

“Kai-ssi, please wait outside while we perform some examination on her.”

I lifted my eyelashes. The rays of lights once again intruded my vision but I could see a few people around me, it was blurry but my brain registered them as doctors.

“Hyuna-ssi, can you hear me?”

The doctor lightly tapped over my shoulder.

“Hyuna-ssi, do you hear me? I’m a doctor. If you hear me out, please open your mouth, just a bit is enough.”

I gapped my mouth a little.

“Good. Now, can you see this?”

“Song Hyuna-ssi, please nod your head if you could see this thing,”

I saw a torch in front of my eyes and then I nodded.

“How’s her vital for today? Can I look at the recent blood results performed on her?”

My minds clouded, indicating that I would soon continue the trip to dreamland again. It would be wonderful to meet her in my dream. 

“Marshmallow!”

“No..no! It was more like scrambled eggs to me,”

“Excuse me, do scramble eggs looked like that? You’re ignorant!”

The knot that form and sealed between us in that world was both painful to her as well as me. There were mysteries that had yet to be unfold but I didn't know how, and where I should begin. In my dearest memories, we met, laughed and cried together; we held on fast but I never recall saying the word ‘goodbye’. So I would let the realization comes to me slowly and paralyzed my heart for a long time, reminded me of everything – our promise. 

Something was missing.

Something had been taken away from me – from my heart, which left me pondering, I figured it could be a transient effects after the coma, but no, I was wrong. Ever since I awakened from coma five months ago, I hadn’t been able to smile from the bottom of my heart. If I thought I would've a different life after all that happened, I must had been delusional; in either world, it seemed no difference to me except that Eunjung wasn't here by my side.

I stepped into our house, reluctant to call it “home” – not after my parents divorced and remarried for almost ten years, and hid everything from me. On my own, I don’t think I would be able to forgive them sincerely but nonetheless it was something that I had to live with. Our relationship hadn’t gone anywhere farther than the world (trapped) I used to live in. The warmth they gave me was odd, not like any of those who Eunjung had given me. Once it was gone, I'd crave for it; perhaps my heart was devoid of warmth but apparently I didn't know how to get it back. It was dearly saddening when you knew what you lack in, and it was something you knew you had no control over it. Knowing what you lack was painful while knowing that you couldn't do anything also hurt. I couldn't tell which one hurt more.

I guess that's life, what it does to you.

I dug in my pocket and took out my cell phone after I heard a bit sound. There were two messages in it, both from my parents. I sort of know what the contents were.

“Sweetheart, mom would come a little later to your house. Sorry, mom has an urgent meeting.” – Mom

“Outstation for a week. Sorry, if there’s anything, ask from your mom.” – Dad

Lately, they tend to apologize a lot to me until it got to the point where I dread to listen. Within that world, I hated them because they never apologize to me, which denoting that they weren’t at fault at all. I thought everything would settle down when they apologize, but no. I hated that word because until the end, it was the word that I had never got the chance to tell her – Eunjung ah, I’m sorry.

“Baby, I was already here. Love, Kai.”

The house I used to live doesn’t feel like home anymore. The undying affection poured by my parents couldn't seem to be enough, and I was utterly speechless about my real life boyfriend, Kai. My brain registered Kai as Eunjung’s boyfriend all the while albeit it wasn’t true. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t send those feelings away. He reminded me of Eunjung and my feelings twisted – I kept on getting confused about which was real and which wasn’t. Eunjung reiterated to me that every memory fabricated in that world as to manipulate us, but I, I just couldn’t differentiate – everything lingered in one corner – and so, I was torn between the two worlds. There could be another world, or more, I didn't know, but my heart – there was only one. Maybe someday, someday my heart would open again for him, but I doubted it.

I simply asked our maid to open the door for him as I walked inside my room. I just moved in here about a week ago. This place was closer to the hospital and it would be handful for me to go back and forth. There hadn’t been a day I didn’t go to the hospital to visit her. All our fleeting hopes and memories, I still want to hold it in because that was the least thing I could do.

“Baby, are you...going to hospital later?” Kai leaned against the door, gazed at me intently while I stared outside my window, facing the hospital building.

“Mm,” I nodded. “But, I have to go somewhere before that.” I glimpsed at him out of the corner of his eye.

“Who?” he asked, watching me.

“Just an acquaintance.” I replied matter-of-factly.

“So, what time you’re going? I could-“

I turned at him and lifted my hand up. “It’s fine. I would go by myself.” He cocked one brow and straighten his posture before took a step forward.

“Hey,” He stopped a few meters away from me and gestured his hands at me. “Why?” he smiled humourlessly.

For a second, his voice quavered and that alone would’ve thrown a dagger right into my core. My heart throbbed in pain.

“Baby, who was it that you need to meet so secretly?” He encircled my waist and pulled me in his embrace. Every time he touched me like this, my heart twirled with emotions. It took me great effort to ignore the pleasure of his embrace.

“Just someone.” I replied vaguely.

“Kris Wu Yi Fan. He was a law student in Serenade University. If I happen to die...please relay to him that, my feelings were real, even if his heart doesn’t belong to me, hundred times or even thousandth more, I won’t regret...”

Lies rolled off my tongue every time I spoke with him. I just hated to admit it that when he was beside me, everything seemed so right but felt so wrong.

Every time he said he loved me, my heart started to race but I held back; I was too afraid that when I accept him, when I fall deeper for him, then everything turned out to be unreal. I was afraid that I kept telling myself that the only feeling I should’ve for him was gratefulness.

And when he said I used to love him so much in the past, I simply nodded and turned away as he moved closer. I had no idea how many times I did that to him but every time, he would assure me again and again that he would keep waiting and whenever I turned around, he promised he would be there. A promise – it reminded me of Cha Eunjung and the confusion cycle continued – this had no end. To be dearly embraced by his love was something that I had dreamt about a long time ago. I recited the words “I’m alright”, “It’s alright” countless times per day, then I would probably get used to it and at least it won’t hurt that much but every time, just every time I turned around and saw Kai was there, flashing his smiles, acted like everything okay, my heart sank to the unfathomable depths. The insecurity that embodied me, was it love?

“Hyuna yah, you’re a very kind friend. I think I’ve fallen for you more and more,” Kai said faintly, rubbing his cheek against my jaw line and implanted a kiss at the top of my head. 

Friend? I almost choked on that word.

I had never told anyone about Eunjung, not to my parents nor to Kai either. They would consult with doctors, worried that it might due to the post-traumatic effects and in no time, perhaps I would get referred to a psychiatrist for depression and such. No, not again. Whenever I saw any medicine bottle, a shiver of dread ran in my thought. How could I forget that? So, I’ve been keeping it inside my tiny heart.

When I recalled those days, those nights where I could only listen to music and then cry alone, I regretted that I couldn’t do anything for her – and us. She was my lucky charm and even though she wasn’t by my side anymore, whenever I smiled, laugh, even if I did it alone, I wouldn't feel lonely and scared because as long as I had those memories with me, and as I reminiscence, piece by piece it would come back to me as it became will for me to carry on.

Only that day (2013, September) did I learnt the pungent smell blood, diversities of human flesh, and the morbid of death. It was the turning point in my life. The beginning of everything where I met with Cha Eunjung—then we met again in another world.

Two Years after the Accident

[2015, September]

“Hello. We are calling from the hospital. Patient Cha Eunjung has woke up this morning...she...” 

A scream welled up in throat when I first heard of that news. I was both nervous and excited at the same time. I waited for the whole long day. I didn’t care about the time. She had to undergo some test and imaging but I could wait. I followed her everywhere and never took my eyes off her. I was waiting the moment that we were alone. I would keep waiting.

The moment had finally came. I offered myself to wheel her outside, to savour the fresh air. My heart thumping wildly the moment I took a grasp of the wheel handle while she was sitting with both hands spread at the side.

“Eunjung ah,” I kneeled beside her as soon as we were out from everyone sight.

With trembled hands, I cupped her cheek and the overwhelming feeling within me was greater than ever. I stared into her dark brown orbs while she looked vacantly at me.

“Eunjung ah...thank you for coming back!” I said with a sob.

I crushed her with a hug, wrapped around her torso and tightened my grip.

“I’m so sorry Eunjung ah...I’m so...”

I heard a soft chuckle from her and immediately the nerves were building in the pit of my stomach. I stepped backward and looked into each other's eyes, our faces were only an inch away.

“Eunjung ah...where have you been all these time?” I asked bitterly. The feelings welled inside of me, just by looking at her, I almost forgotten how to breathe.

She carried off a smile. Her smile seemed to imply something. The warm breeze blew over the distance between us, and in that brink of time, I smelled the vibes of nostalgic sweet fragrance, stirring me up from the inside and making my skin tingly.

“Cha Eunjung. Do you not remember me? I’m Song Hyuna, Hyuna...” I battled with the terorr insides me that threatened to choke the life out of me.

Her dimples flashing as crept up in a hint of a smile. Then, she leaned forward, tilting her head beside my ear.

“What to do. I’m not the Cha Eunjung you’re claiming for.” She voiced out her words one by one.

My body stiffened. A feeling of déjà vu swarmed inside of me.

“Cha Eunjung is still wandering inside that world. Trapped.” My heart sank to the pit of my stomach when the words finally sink in.

“Then…Then who are you?” I asked impatiently.

“Me?" She dropped her eyes and smirked. "From now on, I am Cha Eunjung.” she said proudly with a deep sounding chuckle.

“No, you’re not!" I shook my head and throw a hand in front of her . "You’re a monster!” I said with a sob.

“The world where you and I live together, isn’t it nicer?” 

I lurched forward and yanked her hands away from me. “Uh? Eu-Eunjung? Ho-How do you know that?”

“Let's play a guessing game," She smiled crookedly. I held my gaze on her breathlessly. "Who I am, aren't  you curious?” She pulled me closer and murmured beside my ear.

I swallowed the odd lump in my throat and when her last word died, my heart stopped.

W R I T E R'S NOTE

Greetings;

“Trapped” is a story that always in my mind since last year; it took me great determination to write it out and share with my readers. I tried to be as realistic as I could to establish my "voice". “Trapped” has few critical themes – friendship, family, teenagers; horror, mystery as well as romance are something I put to move the plot forward but I’m not quite sure if I’ve done it well. On the side note, I’m really in romance but I enjoyed writing it anyway – and I hope you too. The original plot of this story is actually slightly deviated from the way I wrote it now, simply because I entered this story for contest and it has to be oneshot so I would later create the chaptered version for it. I hope you liked it, anticipate it, and continue to read my story. Thank you would never be enough, but still I would like to thank you for your willingness to spent your precious time and read this until the very end.

I would like to hear feedback(s) from you, so I tend to advertise my story more. Subscribe and Upvote are secondary to me, my primary aim is actually to hear your voice regarding this story.

Thank you and have a blessing day :)