Graze
Graze
"Just another normal day. Just another school day. Another day to spend with Jinyeon-ah!" I said and smiled to myself as I looked into the mirror and fixed my hair. Lee Jinyeon. She's my best friend.
"Hyung! Hurry up or we're gonna be late!" Taemin shouted from downstairs. I hurried down and took my school bag. I love Taemin. He's the cute little brother in those dramas that you'd want to have. We've been living together ever since our eomma and appa were taken last year. We've been through a lot together. I don't know what I'd do without him.
"Let's go, Taem?" I said and ruffled his hair. We headed out the door and got into my car. I started the engine and we drove to school.
Like always, Taemin and I would go our separate ways after I parked the car. Taemin would go to the cafeteria to meet up with his friends while I would head to the gardens near the water fountain to meet up with Jinyeon. It was something thay became part of our daily routine.
I arrived there to see her seated by the fountain.
"Onew!" She threw her arms around me instantly. "You're late."
"Mianhe." I said and laughed.
"Homework done?" She asked.
"Yup." I answered. We hung out for a while by the fountain. Then, the first bell rang, signaling the students to go to their first classes.
"Ugh. Science." She sighed as we walked down the corridors.
"Aish, don't say that. You can do it~" I said and did a thumbs-up sign. She giggled.
"Thanks Oppa. You always know what to say!" She beamed at me. "Well, this is where I go. Bye Oppa!" She waved and headed to her classroom. I went my direction as well.
Class is pretty boring without her. I wish I was the same age as her so we could be batchmates. I sighed.
"Mr. Lee." Was someone calling my name?
"Mr. Lee." The voice called again.
"MR. LEE." I looked up to see the teacher with her arms crossed in front of me.
"So, Mr. Lee, Please repeat what I just said." She looked at me expectantly. I explained everything to her, which was probably understandable than whatever she said. "Good." That was all that she could say. Did I mention that I was second in my whole batch?
Class continued for what seemed like forever. Then finally, the bell rang, meaning that it was Lunch time. I proceeded to Jinyeon's classroom to fetch her. She is so cute.
"Heyyyy!" She smiled. "Rooftop?"
"You have food?" I asked.
"Of course." She smiled, looking pleased with herself. "I cooked it!"
"OH. Then I'll not eat anymore." I said and chuckled.
"YAH!" She pouted and pretended to walk away.
"I was joking! Come back!" I shouted from where I was standing.
"RACE YOU TO THE ROOFTOP!" She stuck her tongue out and ran towards the staircase.
I chased after her and reached the rooftop in no time. But, she was nowhere to be found.
"*pant* Where*pant* are you?" I sat down on the bench. "Jinyeon?"
"BOO!" She popped up from behind with her pink lunchbox.
"Let's eat?" She said.
"Ok."
"And because you chased me all the way here~ I will feed you!" She laughed.
"What? I'm not a-" She shoved the food down my throat. "am nodda kick."
"Don't talk when your mouth is full!" She said and made me chew my food.
"I said I'm not a kid!" I ruffled her hair. "I'm your oppa, you know!"
"Ahh. Oppa, it's the same thing. Age is just a number, according to Teukie-Oppa."
"That's because he's old." I said and we laughed.
The bell rang once again and lunch was over. I continued to my classroom after dropping Jinyeon off. Class went on. Teachers started saying stuff. I couldn't wait for class to end. Then, I'll get to see her. After hours, the bell rang. I dashed off to her locker. Then we'd end the day together.
In the afternoon, we'd go home together and stay at each other's house. We would do our homework and play games with each other. Then when we reach home, we would to talk to each other on the phone until one of us felt sleepy. Taemin would often ask if we were dating, but I told him we were just friends. I didn't possess the courage to tell her how I felt about her, yet. Taemin would warn me that I should tell her before it was too late. I never listened. I thought Jinyeon only loved me. I thought that even if it took me until graduation to tell her, she would still accept.
That was life with Jinyeon. Until that day...
I went to find her by the fountain that day, but It was strange since she wasn't there when I arrived. Minutes later, she got there. It was unusual.
"Hey. You're late!" I said and hugged her. But she didn't do so back.
"Oppa! Let's get to class now. I have to finish my homework. Ehehe." We finished that yesterday, but I agreed anyway.
"Oh. Ok." I walked her to her classroom and said goodbye.
Class started. Rather than paying attention, I couldn't help but think about why Jinyeon was acting weird today. These past few days, I felt a gap forming in between us. It was like she was slowly drifting away.
The day went by quickly. Before I knew it, the lunch bell rang. I hurried to Jinyeon's classroom. I was going to ask her about this morning. When I got there, she had her arms crossed, and she tapped her foot impatiently. When she saw me, she looked relieved and walked up to me.
"Oppa. Can you go with JongKey and the others first?" She turned around. "I have to do something to do today. Is it ok?" She asked. I, of course, let her go. I'm not dumb though. I knew something was going on. So, I went to eat lunch with Key and the others.
School ended quickly. But ever since lunch time, I haven't seen Jinyeon. I walked home with Taemin and did my homework alone. I did nothing but sleep that afternoon. Taemi keeped peeping in my room. He was probably worried.
Taemin called me for dinner. He tried to get the juice out of me by starting a conversation.
"Hyung~ how was your day?" He beamed at me and ate his food. That wasn't the right question to ask.
"Horrible." I said bluntly and played around with the food before me.
"Ohh. Sorry Hyung." He said and continued eating.
After dinner, I went to my room and threw myself onto the bed. I picked up my phone. No new messages. No missed calls. No nothing. No anything. I sighed and began to type a new message.
I didn't get to spend time with you today. I was so lonely. What's up?
I was about to press 'send' but hesitated to do so. I did anyway.
I was sitting on my bed for an hour, staring at my phone like and idiot, hoping for a reply from Jinyeon. Nothing came. I didn't receive anything, not even a blank message. Taemin came into my room and sat beside me.
"Hyung, you have to tell me what's wrong. I feel weird when you're sad." I heard his sentence, but gave no reply at all.
"Hyung please." He begged. I didn't know what to say.
"Jinyeon." It was all that came out of my mouth.
"What about her?"
"She's not spending time with me anymore..." I said on the verge of tears.
"Hyung, maybe she's just busy. It's almost the end half of the school year anyway. Cheer up. Please?" Taemin hugged me.
"Ok." I said. He smiled and exited the room. Maybe he's right. I'll try to look on the bright side. Maybe Jinyeon-ah is just busy. There are times when people are like that right? Yes. Maybe she's just in that kind of situation. I pulled the covers of my bed and slowly, dozed off into space.
Monday morning, the start of another week. It's been a long time since I saw Jinyeon. It's been a long time since I last talked to her. Two days, maybe? A week? That's already long for me. I walked over to our usual morning spot at the fountain. I got there, disappointed. The bell rang, and I walked to class as slowly as possible, hoping to find her in the sea of people rushing to their own classrooms. But no, she wasn't there.
Uh! You gave me, you gave me a heartbreak! Come on.
Class went by slower than usual. I don't know why. Was it because I was bored to death or because of something else? I don't really know anymore. Soon, school ended. I didn't meet Taemin that afternoon. He had dance practice. I left the car for him so he could drive home later. He's underage, but it's just this once right? Hehe. I'm so evil.
I went home alone. While I was walking near the park, something caught my eye. It was someone I knew. A girl. She was with a tall guy.
She grazes past me, while holding onto that person's hand...she grows more distant, while wearing a thicker layer of makeup...
I wasn't there was I, since the beginning I've-
Always been just a good friend, nothing more~
Then I realized it. The girl was Jinyeon. I stopped in my tracks and stood there frozen. I couldn't believe what I was seeing right in front of me. Jinyeon was with a guy, and they were holding each other's hands. I just stared. She looked different. The Jinyeon I knew never wore high heels or short skirts. Her make-up was so thick. The Jinyeon I knew didn't even where make-up at all.
"MINHO OPPA! Let's go over there!" She said lovingly to her tall boyfriend. Minho, was he?
They headed in my direction and I looked at Jinyeon-ah. She turned her head the moment she saw me staring. She didn't even steal a glance.
Uh! I'll only ever be a comfortable person , uh! it'll always be nothing more than a love
that brushed right past me
She grazes me by, she grows more distant, that girl who believes she's grown prettier
Nothing like anger forms within me, just speechlessness
It's like a pathetic feeling
I force myself to swallow it back
He looks like he'd be someone greater than me, the guy beside you (That guy right beside you) And her somewhat different appearance does too
I felt angered that she didn't acknowledge me. In this short span of time, she's changed so much. I ran home as fast as I could, ignoring everything in my way. I didn't care what I bumped in to. I reached home, to find Taemin there. I opened the door and threw my school bag onto the table as hard as I could. I shook of my shoes and went into my room.
Exactly what is there so different about me than that person
that her gaze and her actions don't show signs of attraction to me?
While heldfast my thoughts, i'm left alone as they become part of the wind
My tears form at the figure of the girl who slipped right past me
"WHY? WHY JINYEON-AH?" I grabbed the picture frame with our picture in it and clutched it tightly against my chest. I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. "WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MINHO GUY HAVE THAT I DON'T?" I scremead and kicked the door.
Have you tried thinking about me?
Given any thought about me
The times we stayed together like lovers flying free
I still love you! Seems like I should forget you
But when I see the picture that we took together I can't ever forget you
I leaned on the door. I felt Taemin's knocking. He was begging me to open up. I didn't do anything, I just held our picture tighter.
"Why...WHY?!!!!!!" I screamed and threw the picture frame onto the floor. The frame smashed. Glass was all over the floor. I crawled across the room, to the spot where the picture lay. The glass fragments were pricking my hands and knees, I could feel blood dripping down my arms, but there was no pain. I continued on and grabbed the picture. I ripped it to shreds. Pieces of the picture were flying all over the room. There went my love. There went my heart.
The girl who stole my heart grazes past me, her sweet fragrance also leaves me
The tears flowing from inside my heart, I force myself to swallow them back, will she understand my crumbling heart?
Taemin managed to get into my room. He was shocked at the sight of me, all bloody and crying. He tried to calm me down, but nothing would work.
"Taemin-ah." I said with my head down. I laughed crazily as more tears fell. "Taemin-ah." I just kept laughing.
Then I stopped. "She broke my heart."
Uh! You gave me, you gave me a heartbreak!
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