Present day:

Kyuhyun purses his lips together, trying to form right words to say what he wants to say.

“I mean, it was just a crush I had on Sungmin. I mean, crushes come and go.”

Ryeowook doesn’t answer; he purses his lips into a thin line. Kyuhyun casts his eyes to look at the wall. It’s so much easier to talk to the walls than to Ryeowook’s unreadable face.

“Donghae said love is sharing.”

“Again, why are we talking—“

“You’re missing the point!” Kyuhyun snaps and Ryeowook withdraws and Kyuhyun makes a move to touch the older man but stops his hand in a mid movement.  It is an awkward silence between them until Kyuhyun whispers:  “And you shared yours, right?”

Kyuhyun isn’t sure if the look on Ryeowook’s face is insulted or anger or mix of both.

11 months and 3 days ago:

Meet confused boys who don’t know how the deal with the feeling called affection(love)

Ryeowook was back in schools corridors after four days of vicious fever and it’s super embarrassing for Kyuhyun to say he was sorry for everything, sorry for the fever because it had been because of Kyuhyun that Ryeowook had stood in the freezing rain, sorry for the fact that he had cried like a baby and Ryeowook had to witness that. Ryeowook just smiled tiredly but gently at him as he bowed and apologized for acting like an idiot heartbroken fool.

“Kyuhyun, it was me who stayed with you and it’s my own fault that I caught a cold.”

Kyuhyun still bought him the biggest mug of a hot chocolate from the school’s canteen. They hung around a lot that day, every break Kyuhyun sought out to the older male and made sure he was okay with everything, because it could be horrible to be back in school after a fever. The look on Hyukjae’s face was pity, the older man pitied him but Kyuhyun didn’t care: when he was fussing over Ryeowook he didn’t need to think. Less time to think, the less sad he was feeling.

But how much he fussed over Ryeowook, it didn’t prevent him from having his every week tutoring sessions with Sungmin. The first one after the confession made Kyuhyun almost sick, he had felt like he was ready to puke but the moment he found Sungmin, he also found Ryeowook.

Sungmin had asked him to join them. Kyuhyun didn’t say no when Sungmin asked if it was okay for the other one to join them.

 And Kyuhyun remembered how those two were best friends, of course Ryeowook knew everything and from the way the petite man would be with them every time they met up after that, only made it clear to Kyuhyun that he wasn’t the only one feeling awkward and how Sungmin didn’t want to make it any harder for him than it already was.  Ryeowook’s presence made it easier to joke around and avoid dangerous silences and somehow it felt like everything could go back to the way it had always been.

Only to come crashing down when on this one Thursday when they’re supposed to have a tutoring session, Ryeowook had a meeting with his juniors.

“I’m so sorry Kyuhyun, I just… don’t know how to act in these kind of situations.”

“It’s fine hyung. Just… give me time, please?”

“All time you need”, Sungmin murmured, smiling gently and sliding the paper finally across the table to Kyuhyun and Kyuhyun cursed silently how he had earlier pulled his hand away like it had burned when they had both reached for it, hands bumping.

****

****

Dongwoon stood at the corridor, balancing his cell phone between his shoulder and head.

“What do you mean we have an urgent need to meet?”

He helped to hold his back bag up with his knee, balancing with one foot.

“No, hyung, what are you even talking---“

He rolled his eyes as he zipped the zipper shut and finally could take his phone from his shoulder, it hurt his neck.

“You aren’t listening to me at all, are you? But sure, I have nothing, let’s meet.”

It was useless, Ryeowook had already cut the connection and soon he could see the older man sprinting towards him.  When Ryeowook met his pace, he grinned at him.

“It’s your pay hyung.”

It was almost hilarious to watch how urgently Ryeowook wanted them out of the school and hide in closes café around the campus. It was almost funny how frustrated Ryeowook was, if it didn’t make Dongwoon giggly and almost spill his coffee all over the table when they finally settled down.

Ryeowook whined and Dongwoon just laughed at him, telling him that was what best friends were there for. Ryeowook kicked the younger male under the table but didn’t deny.

It wasn’t the first time that Ryeowook called to him and wanted to use him as an excuse to avoid joining Sungmin’s tutoring sessions with Kyuhyun. Dongwoon had heard the story how Ryeowook knew Kyuhyun felt ease with him, and how Ryeowook also knew Sungmin was also very aware of that. They all knew Ryeowook was easy to talk with, easy to get along with and Sungmin as his best friend knew Ryeowook was too nice for his own good sometimes, too nice to say no when Sungmin used all his mighty puppy eye talents to lure him into his and Kyuhyun’s tutoring sessions.  Kyuhyun had hooked to that kindness in his time of need and despair.

 Dongwoon wouldn’t blame him after he heard the story of Kyuhyun’s broken heart.

He had also heard how Ryeowook hadn’t fall for Kyuhyun from the first time he had seen the younger man. Anyone could see that of course, Kyuhyun was attractive but only later, when they hung around and all, Ryeowook might have had developed a small crush on Kyuhyun. And then Sungmin had come into the picture.

It was kind of amusing how on the other hand his hyung had wanted to be with Kyuhyun. But then again Kyuhyun was so obvious and Ryeowook had been angry (he was still angry) and wanted to be the best friend he was to Sungmin. That didn’t add together so well either. Ryeowook had been angry and frustrated. Kyuhyun was making him angry and happy at the same time. The feeling in him had grown, it had felt like he would explode in any minute and he had lashed it out on Sungmin who was as always so obvious to Kyuhyun’s awkwardness around him. Well, Sungmin was seeing the captain of football team so of course no one else’s feelings didn’t matter to him.

Oh it wasn’t the first Dongwoon had to sit through one of Ryeowook’s whining fits and all the talks how Ryeowook could deal with them both separately but when Sungmin and Kyuhyun were both depending on him to make it feel less painful, made it hurt even more.

Dongwoon sipped his drink.

“Hyung, you should just deal with it.”

Ryeowook snorted, leaning against the table.

“Deal with what exactly?”

Dongwoon hummed, tapping away with his phone as one of his class mates messaged to ask where the he was, skipping a class, how dared he.

“What do you think, hyung?”

Ryeowook groaned and neither of them said anything after that.

How to deal with something when you didn’t even know what that something was.

****

****

Kyuhyun didn’t know how Ryeowook did it but he did it anyway and Kyuhyun found himself smiling more and more day after day. It started to feel like all the sleepless and cry-yourself-to-sleep nights were far behind but still, everytime he saw Sungmin, something lurched inside of him and he had to turn away.

Kyuhyun didn’t also know when he had come so depended on Ryeowook’s presence.  It wasn’t like they even were best friends or anything but Ryeowook was… nice to him. And it pained Kyuhyun to notice Ryeowook was making some distance between them.

Ryeowook had skipped the tutoring session twice after the first skipping and sometimes he even ate lunch with his underclassmen, leaving Kyuhyun to sit with Hyukjae and some others. Sometimes Changmin was there too and it didn’t took them long to realize something was bothering Kyuhyun. And it took only one glance to follow Kyuhyun’s line of vision to everyone to know what was bothering Kyuhyun. Hyukjae just laughed, shaking his head and telling him to drop it. Ryeowook was too nice for his own good, he had friends everywhere, be them juniors or seniors. Somehow that made Kyuhyun somewhat annoyed (with himself mostly), because since when had he thought he would be special anyway.

****

****

Kyuhyun pursed his lips together as he made his way through the tables and chairs, wondering if it’s okay to join Ryeowook and his friends but in the end Kyuhyun settled for a table next to Jaejoong. The young man greeted him with a smile and Kyuhyun grunted. He wasn’t sure why but the way Ryeowook was laughing with his friends Kyuhyun didn’t know, made him annoyed. He had hoped that Ryeowook would have reserved seats for them both since the man had talked about how it would be awesome of them to share a class.

His annoyance didn’t last long when the teacher told them who they were pared with and Ryeowook slumped down to the chair Jaejoong had previously occupied. The assignment for the course was simple: they had to make a song and perform it at spring semester. And because Ryeowook was a little like that he couldn’t pass the opportunity to whisper:

“We can make the most awesome song about broken hearts, right?”

Kyuhyun whined and wanted nothing more than to hit his senior but Ryeowook just flashed a smile at him and Kyuhyun found himself smiling too.

When all the pairs were revealed, Kyuhyun watched as people started to talk and toss the ideas. He caught Jaejoong talking with some girl he didn’t know, one of the Ryeowook’s friends was almost tripping over when he made his way to sit next to some boy and Donghae and Hyukjae high fived by the window. Hyukjae also high fived with a boy who had dirty blond hair and his skin was whiter than anything Kyuhyun had ever seen, sitting down next to a smiling girl behind the seniors. Kyuhyun also spotted one of his class mates, Yoseob greeting a gangster looking red head. He was brought back to reality when Ryeowook snapped fingers at him.

“I still think we should make a song about broken hearts.”

Kyuhyun blinked.

“Why?”

Ryeowook rolled his eyes.

“Have you ever written a song? Because that, the heartbreak, is what you are thinking about and we should use it.”

“Well of course I haven’t written a song, that’s why I am in this class and really, are we going to use my broken heart?”

“Yeah, we should use it at our advance”, Ryeowook said like it was obvious, glancing at people around them, almost like avoiding to look at Kyuhyun.

“We should use everything we are good at. Pianos, we are going to play pianos. See, Hyunseung.”

Kyuhyun didn’t see, he had no idea who this Hyunseung was until Ryeowook pointed at the boy Hyukjae had high fived with.

“He and Hyuna are most likely going to do a song involving dancing and heavy beats. They are good at stuff like that.” Kyuhyun nodded slowly as Ryeowook went on.

“We could match with Jonghyun and Onew, they will sing a ballad, I just know it. “

Kyuhyun bit his lower lip, thinking he was getting where Ryeowook was going. Also he found himself annoyed to realize how well Ryeowook knew their classmates by their names. Kyuhyun could barely name a handful of them.

“And Yoseob and Yongguk are going to make something epic out of their rapping and singing abilities while Hyukjae and Donghae are going to do something with lot of dancing”, Ryeowook turned to him, “and we are going to make a song out of your heartbreak and our piano skills.”

Kyuhyun smiled.

“Sounds like a plan to me, hyung.”

“Ugh, stop the hyung. We’re almost the same age anyway.”

“Okay… Wookie.”

****

****

It wasn’t obvious at first but after couple of times Kyuhyun realized there’s a connection to the times when Ryeowook would leave him for his underclassmen (Dongwoon or Hyungsik, Kyuhyun had learned some of their names by now) and the moments they shared with Sungmin. It bothered Kyuhyun because he couldn’t figure out why Ryeowook would leave him alone with his… whatever Sungmin even was to Kyuhyun anymore, he didn’t even know.

He wanted to ask if something was bothering Ryeowook (Kyuhyun still remembered those angry times of Ryeowook from before) but every time he saw Ryeowook again, the older man was his bubbly and happy self. It would’ve most likely to be forgotten soon if only it was just Kyuhyun who Ryeowook seemed to be avoiding. And it was something he and Sungmin both agreed without being too awkward.

“He has been so aloof recently”, Sungmin sighed, leaning on his hand and Kyuhyun nodded, scribbling some gibberish into his paper.

“I mean, he does it sometimes but this is… not that I mind Hyungsik or Dongwoon at all but… my best friend is neglecting me!” the older man slumped face down on table and Kyuhyun blinked at him. He gulped and shrugged, not that Sungmin saw that anyway, his face was against the table.

“Maybe he is busy?”

“With what exactly? The second year is the easiest!” Sungmin mumbled, lifting his face and meeting with Kyuhyun’s eyes.

“I mean third year is obviously the busiest one and the first year but the second year, pfft, that’s as easy as easting.”

Kyuhyun nodded, worrying his lower lip between his teeth, wondering what then could make Ryeowook avoid them. Sungmin sighed.

“I think I should have never asked him come to help me… with you I mean. But you’re so much easier to deal with when he is around. Not any offence to you! You can’t help what you feel and I was just…”

“No offence taken, hyung”, Kyuhyun interrupted before Sungmin’s speech got too awkward to deal with.  “It isn’t untrue anyway, so…”

Sungmin hummed and Kyuhyun missed the sly grin on Sungmin’s face before it was masked behind the pout.

“You’re awfully close with Wookie these days! Should I be worried you’ll steal my best friend?”

Kyuhyun just shrugged.

“It’s the project hyung.”

“Oh, the project. How is it going anyway?”

“Good. We have the general idea but now we just need to write things down.”

Sungmin nodded and smiled idiotically at him, all the previous sullenness vanishing from his face.

“And?”

Kyuhyun blinked.

“And…?”

“The rest?”

“…what rest hyung?”

Sungmin giggled, and that act made Kyuhyun to stare at Sungmin. Sometimes Sungmin scared him a little, like in moments like these when he went from totally devastated to extremely happy.  Ryeowook did that too, but it was kind of less scaring than Sungmin’s mood swings.

“I mean have you already decided who sings more and who just kind of features?”

Kyuhyun stared at him and Sungmin let out a gasp.

“You haven’t paid attention in the class, have you?”

Kyuhyun opened his mouth to deny but what Sungmin said was true. He had attended the class of course but it was kind of a class where you were free to come and go and Ryeowook seemed to be very aware of how things were supposed to be done so he had just listened to him. Kyuhyun was busy musing to notice how Sungmin had flipped open his phone and moved to sit next to him. He noticed when Sungmin pushed the phone to his hands.

“I and Wookie did a duet last year. I was the second year so I was just playing along, look!”

Kyuhyun felt sick suddenly. He wanted nothing more than push the phone away and not to hear or see anything. It felt almost like the same sickness he had experienced earlier at the concert where Ryeowook and Sungmin had sung in Japanese.

The video playing on Sungmin’s phone was from similar concert but this time Ryeowook was doing most of the singing while Sungmin was playing a guitar and Kyuhyun gulped. Ryeowook sounded so good and he wanted just listen to him but Sungmin had started to talk again.

“Ryeowook was the mastermind behind that song, really. So I think you’ll be the one singing more in this project with him. Ah, I really had wanted to hear you two sing a duet properly! That would be so awesome.“

“Cool.”

Sungmin grinned and pulled the phone away. Kyuhyun wanted to snatch it back and watch the video to the end but he just bit his tongue.

“But probably what he has up for you, it will be awesome anyway.”

Kyuhyun just hummed, feeling suddenly suffocating. He didn’t know why but all Sungmin was saying sounded like Ryeowook was just kind of using him. But maybe he should just ask from Ryeowook next time and probably pay attention in the class to know what they’re supposed to do more than just write a song and sing it.

He almost jumped as Ryeowook suddenly was there, slamming his hands on their table. Hyungsik was right behind him. Sungmin almost knocked the chair over when he reached to hug his friend.

“I thought you were busy with something else!”

Ryeowook made a strange noise in Sungmin’s neck and Kyuhyun pursed his lips tightly together, turning to look at Hyungsik who laughed.

“We actually, yes, we had urgent things to deal with but while doing that we—“

“I met Yesung!” Ryeowook piped and Sungmin blinked at him until something made sense in his head and he gasped.

“The voice of everything, the art-like voice, THAT Yesung?”

Ryeowook nodded and Sungmin made even more strange noise than Ryeowook had and Kyuhyun yet again turned to look at Hyungsik who smiled (too affectionally) at the older two (Ryeowook).

“I need a drink!” Ryeowook announced and let go of Sungmin to join the cafeteria’s line. Sungmin sighed, turning to Hyungsik.

“I can’t wait. Tell me.”

“Who is this… Yesung?” Kyuhyun interrupted and Sungmin gasped, holding the fabric of his shirt.

“You poor soul. When he, Kim Yongwoon, started here, he was kind of social, maybe a little weird with his tortoise obsession and bug collections, but he found his group of people to rely on.”

Kyuhyun nodded and Sungmin continued.

“And then he opened his mouth in that first singing class. You should hear him sing. His voice is so…”

“If I didn’t know better, you fell for him from that moment”, Ryeowook interrupted, putting a tray full of drinks down. Sungmin grinned.

“But you know better.  And after that he has been the most wanted singing partner and the school wanted him to present the school and he is so busy with everything I barely see him anymore, we share the year! And everytime he speaks to a humble human person, the world stops. So, what happened?”

“We were minding our urgent things when he just popped up from nowhere, told Ryeowook his philtrum is pretty and asked him to duet with him”, Hyungsik summarized before Ryeowook could open his mouth. Sungmin gasped, claping his hands around the mug Ryeowook offered to him.

“Holy !“

“I know!” Ryeowook hollered. “I told him I’m busy with the song writing class but I was honored and oh my God, why did I say no!”

Kyuhyun stared at the mug the older man put in front of him, before reaching for his walled. Ryeowook hushed his hand away.

“Rubbish idiot, I don’t need you to pay anything back”, he murmured and Kyuhyun pouted.

“But you didn’t hav—“

“I know I don’t have to but I want to, okay?”

“Yeah, but—“

“Now shut up Cho Kyuhyun, I wanna hear the rest of the story!” Sungmin whined and Hyungsik took his own mug and Ryeowook sat down (next to Kyuhyun) and started to whine how annoyed he was with the whole saying no to Yesung thing.

Kyuhyun stared down at his drink. It’s his favorite, he could tell and kind of shut the other three out as his slowly reached for the mug and sipped from it. Yes, his favorite.  This is what he had been missing, he had always liked how Ryeowook would notice small things about him. Somewhere between the talk which Kyuhyun wasn’t anymore listening to, Ryeowook offered him a piece of sandwich. It didn’t matter that Sungmin and Hyungsik also had pieces and Kyuhyun tried to hide the smile of gratitude behind his mug. Ryeowook’s lips curved and suddenly Sungmin wanted to why Ryeowook was smiling like that but his best friend just shrugged. When Ryeowook looked at him later Kyuhyun mouthed him a silent “thank you” and lifted the cup. Ryeowook smiled and Kyuhyun could hear Sungmin sniggering. 

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Thank you for sticking with me and my stories even thou my updating times are so irregular aaaa, life is busy. ;;____;;