Laying on a comfy bed, staring at ceiling is not relaxing at all. You always try to seek other ways of relaxation but then you’re constantly reminded that you’re a star, not just any normal person who would take a stroll in a park, go to bars and sing popular songs in horrendous voice after a few bottles of beer..nope you can’t do that. After tiring concerts and never ending schedules all you can do is stay in the dorm or go meet your parents or butter up your manager for vacations.

With these things going through her head she’s double checking her decision of being a singer, a member of Korea’s most popular girl group. But she knows, given a chance she’d again choose to be Kim Taeyeon the Leader of SNSD than anyone else.

Coz only Kim Taeyeon can lead SNSD, only she can take care of her 6 sisters and only Kim Taeyeon can hold Hwang Tiffany in her arms for hours.

But right now she hates it all.
It’s not her usual self. She’s tired even to protest and that’s what makes her more irritated. The girls seek solace in their leader but she can’t go to anyone else.

She’s been snapping at everyone since their concert ended. Girls were taken aback and were silent throughout the ride back to their hotel. She did not have dinner or talk properly to anyone. People around her know the reason and also the fact that she’ll be continuously apologizing to them the following morning for her behavior.  Surprisingly they’re okay to see her letting out her emotions than bottle them up.

She knows it all and she hates it all.

Without a reason she’s fuming with anger and going berserk over drained batteries, careless hotel staff and dirty towels.

Even Tiffany’s lost as she has no idea what she can do to calm her lover down.

Without a word Taeyeon  pulls the sheets over her head. Tiffany sighs for the nth time and decides to let her be. She silently grabs her clothes and heads for a calming, hot shower.

This aggravates Taeyeon more. With fuming anger and no sane sense she thinks she’s being ignored, deliberately; that she’s unimportant.

It takes over her soul and helplessly she starts crying.

When Tiffany exits the bathroom she sees a shaking lump of blanket on the bed and unsuccessfully muffled cries. Without any second thought she rushes to the bed and slips under the blanket. She forcefully shifts the  older girl so that she’s facing her and she sees the most heart wrenching sight, her lover, her life breaking down in front of her eyes. She knows that behind these tears are sleepless nights, worries, efforts, dreams, love, everything. And none other than herself can calm the girl.

She kisses away the tears and like a mantra she keeps saying “Please Taeyeon, for once, let me be the pillar. Let me be the shoulder on which you can cry. Let me be the one who listens to your worries and let me be the one to wipe away the tears and erase the nightmares. For once Taeyeon, trust me that even I can be as strong, let me be more than a lover. That’ll make me feel complete honey, for once let me be your lullaby”.

She cries everything out and babbles out her complaints while Tiffany has her in her arms.

Kim Taeyeon wants it all and loves it all.