Kyungsoo hums in quiet delight as  he walks down a nearly-empty sidewalk on his way home, his free hand clutching the thick cluster of his music sheets. It is the middle of July and the heavy summer rain raps down on his red parasol, easily blending with his beautiful voice. He is on the last corner before his street comes into view when a car rushes past his side of the road and bathes him with mud. A gasp immediately leaves his mouth as he realizes that all his sheets are drenched.

 

"Oh, god. I am so sorry!" a voice from the car says hurriedly, goes nearer and offers him a pristine white handkerchief. "I didn't mean it."

 

Kyungsoo doesn't say anything, eyes blank and wide. All his efforts are now ruined, as if tossed by his maestro in a pool of acid, disintegrating the precious works into something unrecognizable. Another gasp escapes his mouth, and this time, it comes out with a heartbroken sob.

 

"My audition piece," he states breathlessly and disbelievingly. "What am I suppose to do now? That's for my scholarship, you idiot!" He yells at the person offering him the handkerchief and scowls at him like a grumpy cat.

 

"I'm really sorry. I was on a hurry. I didn't think this would happen."

 

Kyungsoo isn't listening because he is too focused of daydreaming about his failed audition for tomorrow. He tries not to sob again yet fails.

 

#

 

"I'm not sure about this, Luhan hyung," Jongin grumbles on his laptop after pondering for awhile. "I don't think that would work for us."

 

"Duh, it really should not work out for you because you are too dumb to steal my car and drive around town without a fake license or something."

 

"How many times do I have to tell you that I didn't steal it?"

 

"Stealing a car. Check. Driving without a license. Check. Ruining a guy's audition piece for his scholarship. Check. Seriously, Jongin, how many juvenile crimes have you created now?"

 

"Hyung, why don't you just help me out?!" The younger finally cries out in desperation as he slams his laptop shut, glaring at the older.

 

"Stop him from auditioning. Hire him in your father's bar. Make him sing and a scholar. Problem solved."

 

"I don't think he-"

 

"God, Jongin. Stop thinking and just go!"

 

#

 

"You're not auditioning anymore? Are you sure?" Kyungsoo's maestro, Seo Eunkwang, asks for the umpteenth time.

 

"Not anymore, Sir." He squeaks, looking down at his shoes, and shakes his head repeatedly. "I'm sorry if I wasted your time."

 

"I didn't waste my time. You wasted yours."

 

Kyungsoo sulks at the doorway of his apartment unit, slides down the floor and rests his head on his arms. He  can't help but cry at the lost opportunity. His dreams come crashing down at his feet, and just like waves, they all go away.

 

"I'mreallysorryaboutyesterdayandmydadfoundoutaboutthisandhesaysyoushouldgotoourbarandsingandhewillpayforyourschoolfeesandgiveyouallowanceandallandI'mreallysorryreallyreallysorry."

 

Kyungsoo looks up at the familiar voice and the ear-piercing burst of words. He looks at Jongin in a disoriented manner and furrows his eyebrows in anger. His face abruptly turns into a shade of red.

 

"My dad will hire you in our bar. You'll just sing on your free time and he'll pay for your school fees and he'll also give you a salary." Jongin tries again.

 

"I don't need your pity." Kyungsoo fires back, looking at the former icily.

 

"I don't pity you. I'm making amends."

 

"I'll think about it."

 

"Oh, come on!" Jongin groans and waves both his hands exasperatedly. "You don't think about this sort of things."

 

"Okay."

 

"Okay?"

 

"Okay."

 

#

 

Kyungsoo starts the next afternoon after his class in Differential Calculus. Trudging slowly on the streets of Seoul, he looks for the address of the bar that Jongin handed him last night. He sees it nestling at the joint of two streets, and Kyungsoo's heart starts to beat fast. He walks in, searches for Jongin who earnestly told him that he'll wait for him till he sings and that's when he locks eyes with the boy, Jongin's alight with excitement and joy while his are glassy with nervousness.

 

"Follow me. I'll show you around." Jongin grins when Kyungsoo reaches his table, giving the other customers' a side glance and meek beam.

 

"Don't I get to meet your father first? I prepared a speech for him."

 

"Save me from the speeches," Jongin mumbles to his ears due to the loud buzz inside . "Besides, Dad can only care less about this."

 

"But I thought-"

 

"Yeah, but he is not hands-on to this business. I am the  one who gets to maintain this." Jongin says and Kyungsoo feels the boy's warm hand on the small of his back. The heat radiates into his body, making him feel dizzy. He is led to a small vacant room at the corridor after the sign "Authorized persons only".

 

"What are we going to do here?" Kyungsoo asks, his lips almost quirks down when Jongin removes his hand on his back.

 

"Sing now, Kyungsoo."

 

"I'm your hyung and I thought I'd sing in public and my salary-"

 

"Your mind is occupied by pointless worries. My father says I should hear you perform first before I bring you out in the open. Wait, I'm not sure if you sing. I've only seen your ruined sheet music. Do you play the piano? Because Yixing hyung is here already and he's the husband of our grand piano. Really good couple, perfect match." Jongin blabbers, turning to look at  the older just to see if he's still listening.

 

And with that, somebody opens the door without knocking and in comes two people bruising each other's mouth, their limbs greedily entangled around each other.

 

"Um, hyung. Does this make you uncomfortable?"

 

"Who are they?"

 

"The taller one's Sehun and the one who looks like a deer is Luhan hyung. Again, does this make you uncomfortable?"

 

"I think," Luhan breathes out as he reluctantly pulls away. "You should join-"

 

"Less talking, Luhan hyung," Sehun says  with lovesick eyes.

 

"We better go." Kyungsoo declares, eyes bearing holes on his shoes while a small blush creeps on the apples of his cheeks. He grabs Jongin's arm and half-drags him out the room.

 

"That was weird. I thought they go to motels." Jongin puts his right hand on his nape and shakes his head in  bewilderment.

 

#

 

The angelic voice wafts through the crisp air inside the bar, making it warm and heart-fluttering. Kyungsoo belts out a tune and Jongin finds himself on a pit of something beautiful and nostalgic - a tiny swirl of emotion that reminds him of home. It is all too fast, yet he hopes for the fall not to be painful.

 

Kyungsoo finishes singing for the customers and he goes to Jongin with a shy smile painted on his lips.

 

"How was it? Did I pass the audition?" Kyungsoo teases the younger lad, flopping down on the vacant seat near him. "Thank you for letting me do this."

 

"You deserve this. And besides, this is my way of saying sorry about the soiled music sheets."

 

"You still don't forget that?" endearment

 

"That's the first time we met. I don't think I will be able to forget that." Jongin mutters, wishing he had not, praying for the older to feel the same.

 

"Okay." Kyungsoo silently responds, nodding curtly while Jongin feels as if he's slapped hard right on his face. "I'm really thankful for this, Jongin."

 

There, Jongin firmly swears that the way Kyungsoo says his name is an act of itself.

 

#

 

The next days, Jongin starts to notice little things about Kyungsoo - the heart-shaped smiles, the unmistakable roundness of Kyungsoo's eyes and even his cool transformation as the Master Chef in the kitchen. Jongin finds about the older being the Mother of all Awesomeness in the kitchen a few weeks after his debut stage at the bar. After the operating hours and Kyungsoo is in a very good mood, he pulls the younger boy by his sleeves into the kitchen. Jongin watches his hyung prepare something to eat and he takes the opportunity to ask questions.

 

"Would you mind if I ask you questions?" Jongin inquires, watching Kyungsoo chop some garlic and onion, and the latter just shrugs.

 

"Questions are made to be minded."

 

"Why are you alone? I don't see you with a bunch of friends or something."

 

"It's because I don't have friends," Kyungsoo scoffs and roll his eyes as he gives Jongin a bite of kimchi.

 

"I didn't know you're some kind of sociopath," Jongin laughs heartily while he chews the kimchi carefully. "I'm into sociopaths."

 

"I'm not a sociopath. I just don't like people pretending to like me. They say I'm weird." The former tries out selective hearing, ignoring the last statement.

 

"Then, I'm into weird people," Jongin asserts, his eyes dancing with humor and his lips quirking into a mischievous smile.

 

"I didn't know you have this side. I only know the always-nervous and the goody-two-shoes Jongin."

 

"You don't know many things about me, hyung. And I'd be willing to give my time and effort to properly show you."

 

At this, Kyungsoo puts both of his palms on his face and shakes his head, face becoming scarlet, saying, "Stop flirting with me, Kim Jongin!"

 

#

 

Kyungsoo arrives at the bar one day, hours early before its opening. The guard lets him in easily and he bows to him with a genuine grin. The humidity in the area meets his cheeks and he is reminded the bar is closed and no one ever bothers to open the air conditioning unit if it is long before the operating hours, the area still deserted. His eyes land down on the stage where a familiar silhoutte dances to a silent tune, his body transforming into a fiery enigma - all coldness and hotness both at the same time.

 

Kyungsoo sees himself watching as his brown orbs join Jongin's and together form a lustrous smile. The latter stops after a good minute ensues, subsequently sits on the edge of the small stage, and gestures for Kyungsoo to sit beside him.

 

"I  didn't know you can dance," Kyungsoo breathes out, sitting beside the younger while he watches the sweat trickle down his forehead. He fishes his face towel on his backpack and throws it onto Jongin. "And don't even get started that I don't know a lot of things about you."

 

"Well, you do now. I don't let people see me dance. If they do, they'd know how I feel and what I'm thinking." Jongin casually replies and Kyungsoo keeps quiet, not having a response to that.

 

"Luhan seems to know you a lot. He's your closest  friend, right? You often talk about him, too." Kyungsoo says, trying not to let Jongin's mood ebb away.

 

"Luhan," The younger snorts and shakes his head vigorously, letting the droplets of sweat splash in the air, earning him a small squeal, a slicing glare and a playful smack on the arm from the other. "Doesn't even know I love to dance. You're the only one who knows my secret."

 

"Liar."

 

"I'm telling the truth!"

 

"But why me, Jongin? Why are you opening up to me?"

 

"Because I feel safe with you. There's just this unknown and uncanny yet happy throbbing in my chest whenever you're around or when you're in my mind."

 

"You only know me for about a quarter of a year and now you're telling me you feel safe with me?"

 

"Time doesn't matter when you're in love," Jongin says in finalization and turns to look at Kyungsoo, smiling sheepishly. "It always stops when you fall and never moves on."

 

#

 

Their first date happens on Christmas Day, the day when Kyungsoo admits he likes Jongin back. Jongin's goofy grin doesn't get off his features while Kyungsoo never halts to blush. They interlace their fingers together as they tread slowly in the mall, rummaging through shop after shop, carving intricate smiles on their paper hearts.

 

The opening theme of the movie marks their first kiss and they don't spend their time watching the film. The credits roll and they disentangle themselves from each other, smoothing their wrinkled shirts. As the theater grows bright, Jongin can't help but notice Kyungsoo's flushed cheeks. He runs a finger over the older's face with a smile plastered on his features.

 

"You look great," Jongin says after a while. "You know, with that blush and the swollen lips."

 

That's also the day when Jongin gets to be kicked in the shin for the first time in forever.

 

#

 

Like the fast-paced lives of the seasons, their relationship stretches over the horizon, memory after memory, with love as their flagship. Kyungsoo and Jongin are perfect together, just like bread and butter, peanut butter and jelly.

 

The glitch in their relationship starts at their second year while Kyungsoo is doing his best to ignore his growing throat problem. He's been skipping his performances at Jongin's bar as he tries to drown himself in painkillers. Jongin discovers everything when he gets a call that the former is rushed to the hospital.

 

Jongin drops everything from his schedule that day, hurriedly running to the hospital. He learns that Kyungsoo needs to go under surgery immediately. He patiently waits outside the operating room as he silently cries for help. He is mad at himself for not noticing this, pissed at Kyungsoo for hiding it all.

 

The surgeons pad out of the room, the nurses trailing after with Kyungsoo's pale body on the hospital bed. He is settled at a livid room that has a tiny pallid couch and television. Jongin stays by his side as he dutifully waits for him to wake up. And when Kyungsoo does, he motions for Jongin to go away.

 

#

 

Jongin continues to visit Kyungsoo even if he orders for the nurses to make him go away as if he's a stray dog, not even wanting to touch him. Jongin doesn't understand a thing and Kyungsoo just keeps on breaking his heart.

 

"Jongin," Luhan grumbles while eating a slice of pizza. "He doesn't want to see you anymore. Just get over it."

 

"That's it? It's this easy? Without explanations?" Jongin asks the older, the pain reflecting in his eyes. "I didn't think it would hurt this much. I didn't think it would come to this point. I thought we're infinite."

 

"Turns out you aren't. People are hurricane. They change their minds like hurricanes alter their routes. And when they do, they hurt others."

 

"No, hyung. I'll go to the hospital again. For the last time."

 

"The nurses don't even let you go in, remember?"

 

"I have my ways."

 

#

 

"Hyung, talk to me."

 

Kyungsoo's head snaps at the sound of the voice that he will never forget. He sees the younger, eyes heavy with lack of sleep and body frail due to skipping of meals. A trickle of tear slides down Kyungsoo's cheek and he wordlessly turns away, hands automatically finding the button to alert the nurses that Jongin is in his room again. He is taken aback when Jongin stops him from doing so.

 

"Just tell me why you don't want to see me anymore. I'll go after hearing your explanation."

 

Kyungsoo is crying hard, only shaking his head. The once ray of sunshine in Jongin's life has been eradicated and betrayed by his own body, hastily transforming him into a tropical depression. It must have hurt to cry because he is holding his bandaged neck, mouth agape, as if pleading for the pain to stop.

 

"What's wrong, hyung? Does it hurt? I'll call the nurses!"

 

Kyungsoo gestures for him to stop and opens his mouth to utter a word but nothing comes out. The frustration is eating his guts while the emotional anguish is frantically slapping his chest multiple times.

 

"Hyung," Jongin falls on the bedside, crying. Kyungsoo just wheezes and pushes him slightly away. "Is this the reason why you don't want to see me anymore?"

 

Kyungsoo is drowned by muted shouts and wordless cries as he still tries to push Jongin off his bed. He is hurt both mentally and physically, the ability to accept his fate has already vanished in thin air.

 

"Don't think that I don't love you anymore because of your flaw. My love for you has not changed, you know, hyung. It has not diminished. It even grew more. I adore you more because you remain intact even after this." Jongin says, trapping his hyung in a strong embrace. Kyungsoo finally cracks open, crying silently.

 

"I love you more and more each day, hyung." Jongin tells him and kisses the tears away. "You are my end and my beginning. Your imperfection is my perfection. And I to you. I will be your voice. I will be your melody. I love you, hyung. Let's face the future together."

 

Kyungsoo beams slowly at this and cups Jongin's tear-streaked face. With a nod, he pinches the younger's nose.

 

"I love you, too, Jongin. Thank you." Kyungsoo mouths quietly while he fidgets with Jongin's palm, swiftly scribbling the words he whispered in the wind.

 

#