Youngjae tossed and turned in his bed, hoping that sleep would take over him. He glanced over at the empty bed beside him and sighed heavily, his eyes b with angry tears. He squeezed his eyes shut again, but the next thing he knew he was staring blankly at the ceiling. Even with the curtains agape, the room was pitch dark. He didn’t need any light as he knew the exact number of steps that led to the other bed. Youngjae lied among the sheets that smelled of mint and something sweet. He would leave as he usually did when he felt pathetic or if he heard footsteps approaching.

Tonight was different. His mind was blank and he couldn’t care less if the other boy was to come home, not to say that it was impossible.

For a week, he had been alone. So Youngjae didn’t see why he’ll receive any company tonight.

Sleep didn’t take over him, but the summer heat was creeping up on Youngjae and he shed his pyjamas, generously revealing pale, creamy skin. If it wasn’t for knowing that the other boy occupying the same room wouldn’t be back anytime soon, he would never lie around in only a pair of boxers. Youngjae couldn’t help feeling uncomfortable with his body when the other stared at his thin frame and inexistent abs.

Then again, why was he always thinking about him?

Youngjae tossed angrily his flannel pyjamas across the room, aiming for his own bed.

A soft gasp was all he needed to hear to confirm that another person was in the room. On his bed.

He shot up from the bed he was sitting on and the table lamp beside him. Youngjae squinted his eyes to adjust to the brightness.

A soft gasp escaped his lips.

“Junhong?”

Only then did he realize that he had thrown his pyjamas on top of Zelo’s head, the sleeves of his top hanging in front of the younger’s eyes and his pyjama bottom slung over his shoulder. Youngjae snatched his clothes, blushing furiously and hastily dressed with his back facing Zelo. The other boy stayed quiet all this time, too embarrassed to speak or to look Youngjae in the eye.

“For how long have you been sitting in my bed?” Youngjae demanded, his bottom lip quivering.

“Hyung…”

“Get out! Now!” Youngjae ordered wearily, in a tone he hoped was intimidating.

Instead of heading for the door, Zelo stepped forward and pulled Youngjae into a tight embrace, taking the other completely off guard.

It was all a matter of seconds.

Zelo cupped Youngjae’s face with both hands and leaned in to capture his lips in a chaste, tender kiss.

One, two blinks and Youngjae felt the younger’s hot breath inching closer to his neck. He placed both hands on Zelo’s chest and pushed him away before his lips could brush against his collarbone.

Youngjae touched his lips, an incredulous expression on his face while he stared at the younger boy in front of him who hung his head down low.

“What the hell, Junhong? Like, what the ing hell?”

That was all he could say.

“I … I got rejected.” Zelo sniffed, choking back a sob.

Youngjae expression softened. He took Zelo’s hands in his and the back of his hand with his thumb.

“It’s ok,” he whispered. “I understand.”

“No you don’t!” Zelo retorted, almost hysterical. “You wouldn’t have rejected me like he did. You don’t know what it’s like to not be loved in return.”

Youngjae’s smile faltered and words coursed through his mind.

‘What are you worth? I’ll get sick if I spend one more second with you.’

He blinked away a tear and smiled sadly at Zelo.

“If you think you’re the only one living an unrequited love, then you’re wrong.”

Saying this, he closed the gap between them by crashing their lips together. Zelo kissed back eagerly, clenching the front of Youngjae’s pyjama shirt. Youngjae was the first to fall back on the bed, Zelo following him shortly after, not wanting to part from their kiss yet.

When they finally broke for air, Zelo wanted to miss the hint of regret that floated in Youngjae’s listless eyes.

Youngjae wished he could ignore the despair hidden behind Zelo’s lust-filled ones.

But they couldn’t.

“How did it happen?” Youngjae asked once it was over and Zelo was lying beside him, using Youngjae’s stretched out arm as a pillow.

“I guess I’ve been too obvious around Yongguk hyung … he must’ve guessed my feelings towards him …”

Zelo cut himself off, choking on his own words. Youngjae took Zelo’s icy cold fingers between his warm hands and gave them a light squeeze. The sign of affection comforted Zelo who fought back his tears and pressed his slender body against Youngjae’s in search of more warmth.

“Yongguk hyung … he … he said that he only sees me as a dongsaeng, not more and he made it clear that it was impossible for him to return my feelings.”

Somehow the words seemed to be less harsh if they were whispered.

“You didn’t give up so easily, did you Junhong?”

“No, I sort of … confessed, but he … he said that I was disgusting. He still wants us to live together as a group and doesn’t want me to bring it up anymore, or else … or else …” Zelo trailed off, his voice breaking.

“I felt like a pathetic fool. So I told Yongguk that I didn’t really mean it and that I was dating you.” He finished in a guilty voice.

Youngjae was speechless.

I wonder if he knows about this.

It was the first thing he was worried about.

He had no idea his worries were useless. The damage was already done.

What he also didn’t know was that a certain someone had been standing at the door. A pair of droopy, bloodshot eyes had spectated everything between Zelo and Youngjae.

He wobbled dangerously when the boys shared their kiss and leaned onto the door frame for support.

Words flashed through his mind.

“Apparently, another boy is dating that crush of yours.”

His headache due to caffeine only worsened and he felt an intense pain in his chest when the boys were sharing a long, final kiss.

He wanted nothing more than to forget what he just saw.

But he couldn’t.

I won't even say any excuses, I'll so sorry, this took me over two months to write! I was having a writer's block and then it took me only one class to finish it ... I don't know, it's pretty bad ;-;