15^th May 2013 - 6.45 p.m.

 It’s raining again. It is neither thunderstorm nor drizzle as well.  Just the right amount of rain and the weather had been in this condition for the past few days.

Sitting by the window with a cup of hot chocolate is a girl with long dark hair. A hint of contented smile can be seen on her lips while her eyes were fixed on the window, watching the rain falling from the sky. People used to tell her rain signifies that the heaven is crying but to her it means love is being showered to the people below.  To her. From Yun Ru especially, whom she believes is watching her right now from somewhere above.

Xiao Yu looks up at the sky and said, “Are you watching me right now? Aish… I told you not to look at me when I’m staring at the rain like an idiot, right?’ She laughed and continued, “Remember on our first date you told me you love the rain too? You don’t know how happy I was when I heard that! I always get made fun at when I said I love the rain… so thank you Yun Ru-ah… and I miss you… a lot. Xiao Yu sighed.

She took a sip of her hot chocolate, put it on the table beside her and picked up a book instead. It is Xiao Yu’s diary to be more precise. The diary is leather bound which looked worn out as she had been using it for years now. All the memories from those years were safely sealed as ink on papers and she takes it out to read each time she misses Yun Ru.

Xiao Yu slowly flips through the pages with a small smile as Yun Ru’s face came into her mind. She continued doing so for awhile before she suddenly stopped. The date at the corner of the page reads 9^th May 2003.

Her face instantly lit up as she sat back and let her mind wanders back to that particular date. That day when it all started…

9^th May 2003

Heck it was raining cats and dogs today. I LOVE rain but I was late for my lecture because of it and ended up embarrassing myself TWICE…

That day was a rainy day and Xiao Yu was running towards her lecture hall. She knew she was late and her phone had been ringing for a few times. As she reached the door she tried opening it as quiet as possible but as she pulled the handle, the door gave a loud groan thus making her jump. Unfortunately, pairs and pairs of eyes were set on her as everyone heard the door. Her face heated up in embarrassment and Xiao Yu quickly apologized to everyone and ran to her seat beside her friends.

“Where have you been?!” Li Na asked urgently.

Xiao Yu whispered back, “I was caught in the rain from the previous class!”

The other two who was eavesdropping just looked at her and gave Xiao Yu a knowing smile.

Because Xiao Yu was wet from head to toe and the air conditioner in the lecture was at full blast, she…

“Ahhhchoooo!!”

It was that loud that even her lecturer jumped and laughter rang across the entire hall. Xiao Yu quickly hid her red face behind her hands and wished she would disappear at that moment. Little did she know someone in front of her was smiling and thought to himself, “How cute…”

At the end of the lecture, the rain was slowing down and the four girls were already planning on where they want to have their lunch.

“Cafeteria?” Ai Li suggested.

Li Na then piped in, “I don’t care anywhere as long as I have food! God I’m so hungry!”

 

The next day was another lecture and Xiao Yu met up with them at the entrance and after joking around, they went inside and sat at their usual spot. Halfway through the lecture, they were given a 15 minutes break and Xiao Yu was the first to rush out due to the coldness. She was so busy in keeping herself warm that she did not realized her friends were still inside. Once they stepped out Li Na teased, “Xiao Yu… Somebody asked for your number” with a smirk.

Xiao Yu blinked at her for a moment. “What on earth is Li Na saying?” she asked herself.

“Xiao Yu! Yuuhoo! You alright there?” Li Jun asked.

Xiao Yu was too busy trying to process the information. Who on earth will ask for her number? Nobody asked for it before. Not a single guy.

Li Na continued, “His name is Yun Ru and he is that guy who had been sitting in front of us since the beginning of this semester. He said he always sees you with us in the cafeteria and wanted to know you.  Oh! And he wanted to offer you his umbrella yesterday when you were rushing here but you were too fast” she laughed. “Are you going to give him your number?”

“Heck Xiao Yu! You better! He is cute alright!” Ai Li started her part.

When Xiao Yu snapped out of her thoughts she said, “No I won’t. I don’t even know this guy.”

“Oh dear God. That’s the whole point! Give your number then you will know him!”

“No…” Xiao Yu responded stubbornly and walked into the hall. This time she felt someone’s gaze on her but she ignored it and kept walking. She sat at her place and noticed a guy in front of her. “Yun Ru… He must be the one”, she thought. Xiao Yu lost focus throughout the entire class. So there is people who is observing her all this while when she was too busy eating and laughing at her friends’ silly jokes. This situation might seem petty to some but to Xiao Yu it is something different. Much bigger. She attended girls’ school all her life before college and never interacted much with boys before.

It is a foreign feeling. A mixture of excitement with confusion but mostly fear. The feeling that someone wants to get to know her scares Xiao Yu more than anything. She is never the making friends’ type, rarely opening up to people and always in her own world. It felt like the guy is trying to come into the boundary that she had set up for herself. It is just who she is.

Weeks passed with Yun Ru stealing subtle glances at Xiao Yu but he never approach her. He would either stand somewhere near or just simply passed by. Once Li Na purposely waved her phone in front of Yun Ru’s face teasing him whether she should just pass Xiao Yu’s number to him but his reaction left them impressed.

Yun Ru will only accept it if Xiao Yu herself give it to him willingly.

The semester was coming to an end and that means Yun Ru will not be seeing Xiao Yu in lectures anymore as they will not be taking the same subject again. That day Yun Ru mustered up his courage and tried approaching Xiao Yu but it ended up scaring her and she ran before he had the opportunity to say anything.

From that day onwards Yun Ru took a step back and only looks at her from far if they were to bump into each other in college area. Xiao Yu felt bad for doing that so she avoids his gazes most of the time.

15^th May 2013

The memories of Yun Ru stealing glances at her kept the smile on Xiao Yu’s face while she was still sitting by the window. She wished she had not been a coward at that time so that they will have more time together and not the short period of happiness that never seem fair to her.

Without realizing, tears rolled down Xiao Yu’s cheek. She missed Yun Ru too much, more than ever when it rains. The way he was just there with her watching the rain drops, till the very last second she had with him.

She wished so much that she was in his embrace again. To have his arms holding her close to him, listening to his heartbeat and that familiar scent of his fills up her nostrils. She would have given everything just to have that moment again. The feeling of being protected, care and love for.

She used to blame God for being so unfair to them. Why is their happiness so short- lived? However Yun Ru told her that they should thank God instead. He had given them the opportunity to meet again after years and that itself is fate.

That one day that changes her life completely.

Xiao Yu then flipped the page to the date stated 21^st May 2009. That morning she woke up to cool wind blowing through her open window and slight rain sound falling against her rooftop. The window was left open due to the warm weather the night before. Xiao Yu reached out blindly for her blanket that she tossed away earlier and snuggled closer to her Mr. Teddy beside her that was also previously abandoned.

Few minutes passed and her alarm rang. It was a Saturday morning but Xiao Yu promised herself that she would bring her car for servicing. She had already made an appointment the day before, though the rain and her cozy bed are definitely not helping her to wake up without extra effort.

When Xiao Yu reached, Mr. Lee was already busy with his daily schedule and when he saw her, he greeted her with his usual friendly smile.

“Good morning Xiao Yu! Had your breakfast?”

“Yes Sir!… What about you?” Xiao Yu said with a sincere smile.

“Yup yup… a good breakfast indeed! Ahh… Now let’s look at your car shall we?”

Xiao Yu was busy doodling in her diary that she always carries around while Mr. Lee works on her car before she heard;-

“Uncle Lee!”

Xiao Yu who was busy doodling suddenly looked up with her ears perked. “Who is that?”

Then she heard Mr. Lee laughed heartily before replying “Ahh Yun Ru ah… It’s been such a long time boy… How are you doing? And when are you removing your stuffs from my place? It’s been years since you graduated!”

The conversation goes on while Xiao Yu froze in her seat.

“It can’t be the same Yun Ru from college can it?”

After all these years she still remembered him from time to time and she had no idea why her brain works that way. Or is it her heart?

“Oh by the way Yun Ru I have someone to introduce you too. She is my best friend’s daughter and she’s from your previous college as well. Plus, I don’t ever remember you have a girlfriend so who knows she might be THE ONE?’ Mr. Lee .

“Ahh… Uncle Lee why are you doing this to me?” Yun Ru laughed.

The voices were getting nearer by seconds and Xiao Yu’s heart rate is picking up. She had heard from Mr. Lee before that a boy used to rent a room upstairs years back during his time in college and he had since shifted after his studies completion. Yet till today he had not pick up his remaining stuffs.

The footsteps were closer and by the time a voice behind Xiao Yu said “Hi” she had completely frozen. He had not spoken to her before but something is just telling her that it is the same Yun Ru.

“Hang on… Why am I panicking? It’s not like I did anything and he won’t know that I’ve been thinking about him can he? Okay now breathe Xiao Yu… breathe.” She calmed herself.

Before she could even turn, Yun Ru had sensed some familiarity in the girl with long hair and when he came face to face with her, all he could managed is just stared at her with his breathe hitched.

No. He had never once forgotten about her. He might have given up getting to know her years ago and dated a few other girls but at the back of his mind (even after tons of denial) he did not rule out the possibility to see her again.

“Kids, are you guys okay? Why are you so quiet?” Mr. Lee asked while looking at them from one to another.

Xiao Yu was staring at him with wide eyes before Yun Ru decided to break the awkward silence, “Hi Xiao Yu… Long time no see…”

“Heck! He still remembers my name…Okay let’s not be an awkward turtle and just act cool”

Xiao Yu stood up slowly and gives him a small smile, “Hey… Yea long time no see err…”

“Yun Ru…” he continued.

“Yea long time no see, Yun Ru…” Xiao Yu continued with a more relaxed smile. She definitely remembers his name but she do not want him to know about it.

Both were sitting facing each other but their eyes were focusing anywhere but on each other.Yun Ru was cracking his head to break the ice and Xiao Yu was hoping she could dig a hole in the ground and stuff her head in.

Minutes passed before Yun Ru took the first step again.

“So how have you been?” he looked at her and smiled.

The simple “What about you” from Xiao Yu that day is the key that slowly bloomed into a friendship that was absent 6 years ago. A friendship that turned into something much deeper, where eventually time became the barrier.

It took 7 months for Xiao Yu to finally open up her heart. To open up and accept the fact that she can love someone and have that someone to love her back. For Xiao Yu who is always by herself and difficult to have someone approach her, Yun Ru took little steps to be her friend and slowly showed her his sincerity and what love is all about.

Yun Ru’s confession to her was on Christmas Eve 2009. A rainy day which made Xiao Yu smiled while waiting for Yun Ru after work. They do not have snow at their place so for Xiao Yu, the rain is the replacement of it.

XiaoYu was waiting and suddenly she felt a tap on her shoulder and she turned around, coming face to face with a smiling Yun Ru. Xiao Yu’s heart skipped a beat. She had been feeling that for quite some time now whenever Yun Ru is around but she just can’t bring herself to confess to him.

“Not now… Not now… What if he doesn’t feel the same way? What will happen to our friendship?”

“Xiao Yu ah… Let’s go somewhere… I need to talk to you…” Yun Ru started in his soft voice.

They slowly walked towards the playground nearby and Xiao Yu ran towards the swing and sat. She was swinging slowly and was looking for Yun Ru before she felt him pushing her from behind. A slight touch from Yun Ru made her heartbeat quicken its pace and she felt blood rushes to her cheeks.

All these while Yun Ru had been having an internal battle with himself on when will be the right time to confess. So he pushes her one last time before grabbing hold on to the swing and hug Xiao Yu from behind.

Xiao Yu stiffen once she felt Yun Ru’s arms around her. “What the…”

“Xiao Yu, please don’t turn around and don’t say anything. Let me say the things that I had been wanting to tell you…” Yun Ru stopped, took a breath and continued, “Xiao Yu, I like you since the first time I saw you 6 years back. I’ve always liked you and miss you even through the span of time that we had lost contact. Call me crazy but somehow you are always at the back of my mind and now for us to meet back after all these years is not a miracle to me but fate. I believe it’s fate that brought us back together” Yun Ru breathe again and he can feel his heartbeat increasing. “In these past months you do not know how happy I am to just be there for you. Even though you were not mine but seeing you smiling is enough for me. And after these few months, I dare to say that I do not like you anymore and that’s because…… I love you… I had fallen for you Xiao Yu ah…” Yun Ru confessed whole heartedly with his eyes shut tight. He knew very well the possibility of the ‘yes’ that he wanted to hear is very low but he just need to let Xiao Yu know and also to have her in his arms for once. Just once even if it means that she might run away from him again.

Xiao Yu who had been frozen in Yun Ru’s embrace all this while, was actually having her heart bursting with joy throughout the confession. “Xiao Yu… It’s now or never… God has given you a second chance, don’t lose it…”

25th December 2009.

This was the day. This was Yun Ru and Xiao Yu’s official date, but it was also the starting of an end.

When both was getting ready for their dinner date, not one of them realized the clock on their walls seem to move a tiny second faster than usual. It was also the time that made Yun Ru rushed out without taking the necklace that he had bought for Xiao Yu.

They both arrived on time and Yun Ru greeted her with another shy kiss on her forehead. Both spoke like usual and Yun Ru said, “You know Xiao Yu, I like the rain. And it seem like there is always rain whenever I’m with you. Did you notice?”

Xiao Yu did and it just makes her smile more when she heard Yun Ru likes the rain too and she nodded. They finished their dinner and was about to leave when Yun Ru suddenly had a panic look on his face. He searched his pocket but can’t seem to find what he was looking for.

“I’m so sorry Xiao Yu, can you wait a little while? It seems like I’ve left something important. I’m so sorry but I’ll be back soon!”

“No worries go ahead… I’ll be right here…” Xiao Yu reassured him with a smile.

That ‘soon’ turned out to be the longest that Xiao Yu had waited. Her heart told her something is indeed wrong and she quickly made her way to Yun Ru’s place.

The scene that came before her eyes after she left the coffee place still remained as a blur of memories to her.

People.

A sea of people.

Shouting. Blood. Ambulance.

Yun Ru on the floor.

More blood as she pushed her way through and finally somehow she was in the ambulance holding onto Yun Ru’s hands as tears continuously pouring from her eyes. The scene continued flashing before Xiao Yu’s eyes with doctor and nurses rushing in and out of the emergency room. She had remained on the floor and praying to God with all her heart. Anything to keep him safe.

If anything but cruel, fate has a different game plan for the both of them. The doctor came into view and what Xiao Yu could recall was only the word “3 days…” That was all the time left for her to be with Yun Ru.

27^th December 2009.

That night was a rainy night and as the day before she will be sleeping by Yun Ru’s bed. However it was cold so Yun Ru slowly moved to the other corner of the bed and asked Xiao Yu to climb in. It was a difficult task as Yun Ru was barely able to move and he had the oxygen mask on. His time was running up and both of them knew it.

With great difficulty he put his arms around Xiao Yu and held on to her as tightly as he could manage. They were both silently crying as they cherish the few moments left that they had with each other. Life was being extremely cruel.

Xiao Yu woke up with sunshine streaming through the blinds. She closed her eyes again as the sunlight was a little too bright. She could just stay in this position forever, in Yun Ru’s arms but something was not right. It was sunny out there but instead she felt cold. Xiao Yu’s froze and before she knew it, her tears were streaming down her face.

“No please God… Please don’t… No… Not now… Give us a few more hours… Minutes… Don’t take him away from me… Not now… not today…!”

But it had to be that day. 3 days. It was lesser than 3 days. Life is cruel. They gave you something and take it away the very next moment when you’d just learn to cherish and love it with all your heart. It was a second chance and it makes it even crueler.

That morning they had to force Xiao Yu away from the lifeless Yun Ru. Her Yun Ru who will never hug her or give her those forehead kisses that she never had enough. He will not be able to listen to her or just be with her to enjoy the rain.

Xiao Yu was sitting in the room lost in thoughts when she suddenly spotted his phone beside his pillow. When she swiped it open, it was at the voice recorder. With a shaking hand, she clicked on the one and only recording. Heavy breathing through the oxygen mask could be heard and Xiao Yu broke down as it started playing…

15^th May 2013

Xiao Yu was crying so hard by the time the rain stopped. She can never forget Yun Ru. Though the time they were together was short but he had already taken a special place in her heart. It might be from the time she first looked into his eyes 10 years ago. It might be love at first sight for the both without them realizing it.

Xiao Yu held on to the locket on her neck as she replayed Yun Ru’s voice recording over the millionth time.

In the locket inscribed;

Xiao Yu

Yun Ru

Always & forever