„We should go.”

 

„Shh.”

 

Sulli slowly closed her eyes as he planted another sweet kiss on her lips. They really should go before anyone would notice them but when Kyuhyun touched her, she just melted away. Every protest of her faded as well as her common sense.

 

She wrapped her hands around his neck to get him closer to herself. She wasn’t cold even if it was mid December; she just wanted more of him. However every time she did that, she felt, it never will be enough.

 

The noise on the corridor amplified so Kyuhyun got a control over himself and ended their sweet encounter with a mind-blowing last kiss. He really wanted to stay longer but he couldn’t risk their relationship to be found out by others. It was still new for both of them. New, tingling and too good to have an end this soon…

 

Sulli got off her hands and looked up to him with a shy smile.

 

„Good luck with the performance, oppa.”

 

„I would really skip it just to be with you.”

 

She blushed deeply.

 

„Ya, you’re a Super Junior, a global star. You can’t say things like that.”

 

Kyuhyun smirked at her girlfriend’s comment and made their foreheads touch while placing his hands at the both sides of her face.

 

„Even so, everyone would understand if I said that there’s a beautiful girl who’s waiting for me.”

 

Sulli inhaled his scent and caressed his hand on her face slowly.

 

„I don’t have to wait for you, I know you’ll come.”

 

„Get out, lovebirds.”

 

Both of them looked at the door in shock. Even if it was clearly none other but Eunhyuk’s voice – who already know what’s going on with them - they were terrified that there’s someone else around him who can start rumors.

 

„You go first.” Kyuhyun whispered. „I’ll come out after a few minutes. Make sure to be in your dress room quickly and that there’s nobody who –„

 

„I know, oppa.” Sulli interrupted him sadly and gently slipped out of his embrace to walk to the door. She should have say goodbye to him with a hug or some other emotional act like any other day but something couldn’t let her to do so: there was a knot in which was choking her.

 

On the other side she met a dead serious Eunhyuk.

 

„Sorry for his disappearing again.” Sulli shot down her eyes. „I didn’t want to take away him it’s just –„

 

„It’s okay, Sulli-ya, I know our maknae. He always does what he wants and when it comes to his loved ones, he’s just unstoppable.” Eunhyuk lifted her chin to be able to look into her eyes. „So that’s why I’m asking you to think. I know it’s hard and hurts but please, get a hold of yourself and try getting some of him too. If you’re too in love again just like this time, you won’t be able to get out of it nicely.”

 

Getting out of it… The way he described her everything hurt her almost more than the thought that he’s right. She put on her cheerful smile trying not to show her emotions.

 

„I will, oppa. Thanks for your concern!”

 

.........................................................................................................................................................................

 

Fortunately the girls weren’t freaked out about her disappearing. When she finally got back at their dressing room, Luna was the first one who came to her.

 

„Are you okay? You look pale.”

 

„I’m all right.” She answered and sat down on one of the chairs. As she looked around, she noticed that somebody’s missing. „Where is Victoria unnie?”

 

„Where would she be? With the Suju oppas, of course.” Krystal butted in while looking in the mirror.

 

Amber looked up from her phone to shot a smirk at her.

 

„Aw~ how cute, our Soo Jung-a is jealous.”

 

„I am not.”

 

„We all know your heart fluttered a little when Eunhyuk oppa backhugged you at the photo shoot.” Luna grinned mischievously but soon she froze when the maknae shot back.

 

„Says the girl who’s head over heels with Onew oppa.”

 

„Ya!”

 

While the three had tortured each other to death, Sulli just sat in silence. Victoria is with him - It’s not surprising. They’ve known each other like forever and they get on very well. It’s not a big thing… then why is that knot there in again?

 

„I’m back!” Victoria closed the door and sat beside her with a wide smile.

 

Luna and Amber exchanged glances and even Krystal finished checking her makeup and went away from the mirror. Sulli was too startled to ask about her happiness so at the end Luna spoke up first.

 

„What happened, unnie? You’re glowing.”

 

„Happened? Nothing happened.” Even the leader said so, some good news was written on her face.

 

„Don’t act like you don’t know what we’re talking about, unnie, okay?” Krystal rolled her eyes. „Come on, which Suju oppa had confessed to you?”

 

The Chinese girl laughed out loud at that comment.

 

„Ya, don’t be ridiculous! I’ve just talked with them for a while.”

 

„Yeah, and probably that’s why you’re smiling from ear to ear.” Amber added with a sarcastic tone. „Seriously, why are you playing hard-to-get?”

 

„Because I have a secret.”

 

Sulli glanced at her cautiously. Secret? What kind of secret? It can’t be… It can’t be that she’s really dating on of them, right? After all, they’re idols, they’re prohibited from dating. She shook her head in disagreement. She does the same, she’s dating an idol moreover someone from the same agency. How can she come to judge her?

 

„Sulli-ya, what are you thinking so deeply about?”

 

She was forced to join the conversation again by Amber’s question.

 

„Um, sorry, what have you just asked? I spaced out.”

 

„That’s why we’re asking what’s going on in your head.” Krystal put one arm around her shoulder. „Are you tired?”

 

„Probably she is.” Victoria answered instead of her saving her from answering. „We practiced the choreography for long last night.”

 

„You should take a rest while we’re not performing.” Luna added and looked at the watch on the wall. „There’s still at least 30 minutes.”

 

„But-„

 

„No buts.” Amber winked and grabbed her arm to drag her to the couch. „Lie down a bit, I’ll wake you up in time. If you went to the stage with this dead face, you’d make our fans cry.”

 

Putting up with her group members’ requests, she lied down on the couch and tried to catch some sleep. The girls lowered their voices to let her take a rest but even her surrounding was way to calm compared to a dressing room, she couldn’t sleep. Eunhyuk’s words were roaming around in her head.

 

„…I’m asking you to think. I know it’s hard and hurts but please, get a hold of yourself and try get some of him too… you won’t be able to get out of it nicely.”

 

So that what is all about, she thought bitterly. Having some fun with each other and then slipping apart nicely, naturally… The knot was choking her again.

 

.........................................................................................................................................................................

 

Kyuhyun took out his phone in secret to check if he got any message from her but for the umpteenth time he found nothing. It was strange. Usually Sulli writes at least ten messages per day with cute take-cares and smiling emoticons. He loved her messages and the lack of them made him worried: it’s been two days since they last saw each other at the music show and since then he haven’t heard a word about her.

 

„Are you waiting for a call?” Siwon asked as he sat beside him in the van and was watching his struggling with his phone for a while.

 

„Yes.” Kyuhyun murmured quietly and put the phone back to his pocket. „Hyung, when are we going to arrive back to the dorm?”

 

„In fifteen minutes the least.” Donghae answered instead of Siwon, turning away from Eunhyuk and his laptop. „Are you homesick, Kyuhyun-a?”

 

„He’s more like lovesick.”

 

Every eye in the van fixed on the eternal maknae within a second.

 

„Why?” Ryeowook shrugged with a grin. „It’s easy to see. Kyuhyunnie is not the type of guy who’s checking his phone in every five minutes unless it’s a girl.”

 

The said guy clenched his fists and mouth. He wanted s to shut up more than anything.

 

„Wookie, don’t make up rumors.” Sungmin joined the conversation when he sensed the tense atmosphere and saw the fear in his friend’s eyes.

 

„I don’t. I’m trying to support him!”

 

„You’re doing it badly then.” Kangin remarked. He got a hit on his shoulder from Ryeowook as a response.

 

„Ya, you two, easy.” Eunhyuk put away his laptop and removed his glasses as he massaged his temple. „Save your energy for the music show tomorrow… And you Kyuhyun-a, turn off your phone.”

 

The maknae looked at their temporary leader with an angry face.

 

„You said what?”

 

The others – which meant Donghae, Siwon, Kangin, Ryeowook and Sungmin; Shindong had another schedule – exchanged worried glances. These two used to have fights, but they all were more like teasing, playful fights not serious ones like it seemed to be this time.

 

Donghae put his hand on his best friend’s shoulder.

 

„Maybe it’s important. Let him be.”

 

„It’s not important.”

 

That sentence was the last straw for Kyuhyun. He got out from his seat and grabbed the collar of Eunhyuk’s jacket.

 

„Manager hyung, stop the van!” Sungmin shouted forward to the driver seat and the car stopped with a long screech.

 

„You’ve done this, haven’t you? You’ve told her all the you think.”

 

„Ya, maknae! Control yourself.” Kangin said with a warning tone.

 

Siwon got between the two and tried to remove his fingers from the jacket but it had no use. Kyuhyun was grabbing the collar like no tomorrow.

 

„And what if I have?” Eunhyuk spoke up calmly. „Somebody has to think about her.”

 

„You think I don’t?”

 

„I don’t know what’s going on in your head but I know that what you’re doing is nonsense.”

 

„You know nothing about us!”

 

Donghae and Ryeowook couldn’t stand watching their members and friends arguing anymore so they intervened.

 

„Kyuhyunnie, it was enough.”

 

„I don’t know what he’s done but I’m sure it’s not worth to beat the crap out of each other.” Donghae gently pushed away the younger’s hands. „Just get back to the dorm and we’re going to talk everything out, okay?”

 

Kyuhyun let the others separate them so the rest of the road to home passed in silence. „Somebody has to think about her.” /I do think about her/, he thought looking out the window. /Hyung is not right, I do my best to protect her./

 

Even so he thought this way, he still hasn’t got any message the whole day.

 

.........................................................................................................................................................................

 

„Sulli-ya, the door bell!”

 

Her unnies were busy with their usual weekend-things: Krystal practiced her role with the help of Luna (lately she starred in a drama and she took it very seriously), Amber was on the phone with her family. Victoria wasn’t at the dorm, as usual she had an outing with some friend. Sulli was the only member who did nothing else but idling so she stood up quickly to answer the door.

 

When she glanced at the mini screen to see who the arriver was she almost fainted.

 

„W-what are you doing here?”

 

„Hi.” The fact that he seemed to be calm just increased her anger.

 

„Anybody could have answered the door. How dare you come here?!”

 

„Who is it?”

 

Amber turned up behind her with the phone in her hand.

 

„J-just some delivery man.” She gulped. „Fan stuff, I guess.”

 

„Wow~ really?” Amber lighted up. „Let him in, I want to see what he got!”

 

Sulli panicked. If it turns out that she lied, she’ll be in big trouble but if it turns out that he’s dating a Super Junior, she’ll be dead. She quickly turned the screen off and turned around to face her friend.

 

„It seems there’s some problem with the delivery. I’ll go down to get it fixed, okay?”

 

„Are you sure is it this serious?” Amber watched in amusement as Choi Jinri put on a coat and boots to get a delivery fixed herself. „If we call manager oppa he will arrange it for sure.”

 

„It’s about our fans, we can’t let them wait for long.”

 

Before anything else could have been said, Sulli quickly got out of the apartment and took the lift to go down. She knew well where she’ll found his boyfriend.

 

Their first kiss happened nearby; at a coffee shop beside the river Han though none of them planned it. Sulli was done with her drama and Kyuhyun ended his promotions with his group. Both of them was exhausted and just wanted to relax for a bit – that was when they met at the coffee table. They chatted for hours about serious and weekday thing equally. They’ve never been as close as then and for both of them it felt good. When they parted to go home – Kyuhyun insisted on walking her home but Sulli knew well that it’s impossible -, he suddenly pulled her back and kissed her.

 

„If you thought that I was out of my mind, you’d be right.” He said through the phone before she went to bed on the same day. „I really don’t know why I did it but I know one thing… It was right, Jinri-ya. I feel that it was right and I want to see you again.”

 

And after four months of dating there were they: sitting at the same table with so different thoughts.

 

„You shouldn’t have come.” Sulli spoke up first. She was shaking but tried not to show it. „What would have happened if one of the girls opened the door? You’re usually not this careless, oppa.”

 

„What else could I have done?” Kyuhyun asked and looked into those mesmerizing eyes. „I’ve missed you. Why haven’t you texted me these days?”

 

Sulli shot down her eyes. She felt herself guilty about it but she silenced that stupid heart of hers and got herself together. /Save the crying later/, she thought to herself. /Now you have to be strong and unbreakable. For the better./

 

„We’re in the middle of promotion. I didn’t have time for it, sorry.”

 

„That’s all you can say?”

 

She looked up. She saw disappointment and pain in his eyes but tried to do like she hasn’t noticed it.

 

„Is there anything else you want to hear?” She said. „Oppa, don’t blame me for a nothing like this. We’re idols, we have busy schedules of course it’s-„

 

„Then who should I blame? Myself?” Kyuhyun interrupted her while leaning forward. She was sitting across the table but still he felt like she was a million miles away.

 

„Well, you could. You haven’t texted me either.”

 

„I don’t know what hyung said to you but his brainwashing worked out pretty well.”

 

Sulli twitched at his words. She felt tears forming in her eyes but she couldn’t let them coming out. /Not until I finished with him/, she stated in her mind.

 

„It’s so you. First you’re blaming me then you’re group member… Is it really this hard for you to admit you’re wrong?”

 

„What did I wrong, huh?” The way he looked at her made hard for her to keep her image. „Was it that bad that I’ve kissed you? That I’ve cared about you? That I… that I’ve loved you like no else before?”

 

Sulli slowly pushed out her chair and stood up. She had to leave as soon as possible.

 

„I have to go. The unnies are waiting for me.”

 

But just like at their first time, Kyuhyun grabbed her wrist and didn’t let her go this easily.

 

„Don’t think that I will solve this thing alone. If you leave now then we’re over. I don’t want to waste neither my time, nor my emotions on nothing, Jinri-ya.”

 

Nothing… That one word echoed in her ears for a long time. She took a deep breath holding back her tears and faced him for the last time.

 

„You’re right. Give your precious emotions to someone who can appreciate them more than me... Love unnie instead of me.”

 

She got rid of his hand and ran out of the café.

 

.........................................................................................................................................................................

 

Even if we consider that it was mid-December, that night when Sulli cried at the bank of the river Han was incredibly cold. Though she was wearing a coat and boots, under of it there was only a rock and a sweater. She was in such a hurry to meet Kyuhyun that she even left her hat and gloves at home letting her head and hands go cold.

 

She rubbed her palms together and blew some air on them to get them warm. She should have gone home just like she said but she wasn’t able to. Her group members can’t see her in this state. They always worry about her and make a fuss even when it’s only a little flu. They couldn’t handle her heartbreak. Apparently, even she herself couldn’t.

 

On one hand she was sad that it ended like this. They were so happy… They cared about each other and were always beside the other even when they were tired as hell or they had an important thing to do next day. They risked their fame with secret dates and even lied to their members who were like family to them. Their relationship was this special to them and finally it ended this badly. Ended with hurtful truths and delicate lies…

 

On the other hand she couldn’t forget what he said to her. „I don’t want to waste neither my time, nor my emotions on nothing, Jinri-ya.” /So it was nothing for him/, she thought bitterly. /Well, then I have to say he’s quite an actor if he was able to make me believe the opposite of it./ She really believed that he loved her. Every caress, every kiss, every smile she got seemed to be full of feelings. It was all acting? He just wanted to have fun? No matter what it was, she knew there’s not a chance for her to know it. She knew well that it was the last time they talked like this. The last time they looked at each other like this... It was their last time.

 

.........................................................................................................................................................................

 

„Where is Kyuhyun-a?”

 

Ryeowook turned away from the cooker and looked at the clock on the wall to be able to answer the question of his hyung.

 

„He went out two hours ago. After that day I don’t dare to ask him anything so I don’t know more.”

 

Sungmin sat down on one of the chairs around the table with a sigh. Cho Kyuhyun, the maknae of Super Junior, has always been a person with secrets. Unlike the rest of the boys, he rarely talked about his personal things even after years have passed since he joined them. They were like family and yet he hasn’t been able to open up easily.

 

„You think too that he’s with that girl, right?” Ryeowook asked after some silence.

 

„It might be.”

 

„And do you know who she is? It seems like Eunhyuk-hyung knows just don’t want to talk about it.”

 

„Unfortunately not.” Sungmin said. „Eunhyuk-a is not really a social person lately because of his leader duty. The only one who he normally talks to is Donghae but he’s clueless too.”

 

Ryeowook turned off the stove and sat beside him.

 

„It’s not that I want to be a pry but I’m worried about them. About both of them. I’ve never seen them fighting like that before. Maybe if I haven’t brought up the girlfriend-topic they wouldn’t have fought.”

 

Sungmin patted ’s shoulder.

 

„Don’t take it to your heart, it’s not your fault. They’re adults, they can solve their problems alone.”

 

Just as he finished his sentence, the front door loudly swung open. Both of the guys quickly got up looking for the arriver.

 

„K-Kyuhyunnie, are you okay?”

 

„Never been better!”

 

Ryeowook’s question was only a poetic one – as soon as they found their friend, they smelled the strong alcohol-filled aura which was flooded around him.

 

„Where have you been?” Even it sounded as a poetic question too, Sungmin found it important to ask. Maybe they can get some information out of him.

 

„In the purgatory.” He was so drunk that he fell off when he tried to get rid of his shoes. Ryeowook went to help him but he tossed his hand away.

 

„In the purgatory, of course.” Sungmin shook his head giving up.

 

„I was there, hyung! I was so close to the heaven but I finally ended up in the hell.”

 

„He’s speaking nonsense.” Ryeowook sighed but Sungmin signed him to listen. Even so it sounded like nonsense he believed that some of it has sense. Drunk people say the truth, don’t they?

 

„I hate myself, hyung, she’s so beautiful!” Kyuhyun continued as they managed to sit him down on the couch in the living room. „She’s like an angel. Always full of smiles and sends cute little messages and always cheers for me and has cherry lips and when we kiss she has that sound–„

 

„Okay, we got it, she’s perfect.” Sungmin quickly silenced him before they could have heard more than what they have wanted to.

 

„Yes, that’s it, she’s perfect and she left me!”

 

„Kyuhyunnie, keep it down.”

 

But Ryeowook was too late. Just after he managed to say this, the rest of the Super Junior members appeared in front of them.

 

„What is this noise? I was about to have a nap.” – Kangin

 

„Are you already finished cooking, Ryeowook-a?” - Shindong

 

„What’s up with Kyuhyun-a? He looks like he’d be sick.” – Siwon

 

„He’s just exhausted.” Sungmin tried to save what he could and maneuver his drunk friend to his room but a stern voice stopped him.

 

„He’s drunk, isn’t he?”

 

„No, he’s not. Like I said he’s just tired and –„

 

But misleading Eunhyuk was impossible.

 

„Why are you lying to me, Sungmin-a?” The temporary leader asked. „It’s easy to see that he’s not at his mind. How could he get in?”

 

„The door was open.” Ryeowook answered in a weak voice. „But don’t blame him hyung, there’s a lot of stress in our life nowadays. He just wanted release from it.”

 

„Hyuk-a, don’t be such a strict father!” Donghae pulled on his arm like a kid. „You scold him all the time, let it go this once, okay?”

 

„Look at him, he’s like a bum!”

 

„Here you are, you party pooper.”

 

Kyuhyun was in such a daze that it was hard for him to talk but when Eunhyuk’s voice got to his mind, he got himself together at once.

 

„How does it feel to ruin someone else’s happiness? I’m honestly curious, tell me about it!”

 

„Kyu, you’re drunk. Stop it.” Sungmin hissed at him but his friend continued.

 

„Have you any idea how much I love her, huh? That I would be able to risk this crap named fame because of her? We’ve been happy until you came in the picture. Why did you have to intervene, hyung?”

 

Everybody in the room fixed their eyes on their maknae who instead of being angry was now shedding tears.

 

„Eunhyuk-a, we want to know what’s going on.” Siwon stepped forward intently.

 

„Nothing’s going on.”

 

„You really think we take it in?” Kangin joined him. „Look at him, he won’t be such a mess because of nothing.”

 

„We’re all of your members, hyung.” Ryeowook said. „We have the right to know.”

 

Eunhyuk was hesitating but even when his best friend said the same, he can’t help but giving up keeping it a secret.

 

„They’re right, Hyukkie. Tell us.”

 

The temporary leader looked at the spaced out maknae.

 

„At first take him away.”

 

„I’ll do it, no problem.” Sungmin nodded, got his friend together and tried to take him to his room just like before. But just like before, he was stopped.

 

Kyuhyun get out from his grip and managed to stand on his own. He looked in Eunhyuk’s eyes deeply, his own ones drenched in tears.

 

„So you want to be the person who delivers the news too, huh? I won’t give you that pleasure.”

 

„Kyu…”

 

„Shut up, Minnie!” He scoffed and looked around to examine s’ face. They were surprised and terrified at the same time. „I’ve been dating… Gosh, what am I thinking? I dated Jinri-ya.”

 

There were at least ten moments of silence before somebody had managed to talk. It was Shindong.

 

„When you say Jinri you mean –„

 

„Yes, I mean her. I mean the perfect Sulli of f(x), the perfect Choi Jinri… We’d been together for three months or a little bit more.” Kyuhyun’s gaze shifted to Eunhyuk. „Thanks for your concern, hyung.”

 

.........................................................................................................................................................................

 

On Christmas day it was snowing continuously yet calmly: the wind hadn’t blown so the beautiful formed snowflakes were falling just slowly enough to make them recognized.

 

Sulli sat beside the window and admired them. Miraculously their manager arranged for the f(x) girls to be able to have a rest on this precious day and be with the ones who they love.

 

Speaking of, it was more than two weeks ago since she last saw him. They ran into each other at one of the corridors of the SM building. She was on her way to the president’s office while he was probably headed to practice since Super Junior had a big concert on Christmas day.

 

When their eyes met, she couldn’t help but getting weak because of his presence. She saw him just as perfect as back then. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t forget about him and the feelings they had.

 

Kyuhyun on the other hand didn’t show any emotions. When they were side to side, he just bowed a little and went on. As Sulli were watching his back getting further from her, the only thing she could think about was how much she misses him.

 

„Sulli-ya, are you ready?”

 

Krystal appeared in the door with a big smile plastered on her face. It was their only day off but she was wearing a glowing gold dress with matching heels.

 

„Ready? For what?” Unlike her, she wore tights and an oversized, warm sweater like on any other winter day.

 

„For the Christmas party, what else?” She sat down beside her and examined her from head to toe. „But as I see your outfit I’m sure you forgot about it.”

 

„Ya!” Sulli threw a pillow at her. „I’m home of course my clothes are not pretty but warm… What kind of Christmas party?”

 

Krystal nodded.

 

„Yeah, Lee Soo Man seonsaengnim holds one within an hour in the main hall. You know, the usual annual one. The private one! No media, no paparazzi, just us… Perfect timing, right?”

 

/Well, not really/, Sulli scoffed in her mind. She didn’t want to go at all. Not just that she wasn’t in party mood but also she didn’t want to see…

 

„As for the guests, everybody can attend it excluded the Suju oppas.” Krystal continued and glanced at her. „You know, they have a concert today. They’ll probably be too exhausted to do anything.”

 

One of the main reasons why she wanted to stay at the dorm ceased but even so, she wasn’t in the mood. She knew that she should attend it like everybody else does but still she tried the impossible.

 

„Ah, yes… Do I have to go?”

 

„Duh!”

 

„Soojung-a~”

 

„You have to come no matter what, seonsaengnim made it clear that he wants to see everybody.” Krystal stood up and grabbed her arm. „Come on, I even help you find a pretty dress!”

 

So at the end the bringing-Sulli-to-the-party plan succeed even though the said girl was anything but happy about it.

 

First of all, she had to wear a tight, white lace dress which was a bit short for her taste and the heels weren’t too comfortable either. She complained about them a lot but her unnies took no complaints like usual.

 

Second of all, everything smelled of intrigue. How Luna and Amber glanced at her from time to time with secret smiles in the corner of their mouths, how Victoria was continuously texting somebody (well she was sociable but not this much) and how even Jung Soojung, the queen of poker face broke into a grin occasionally. /Something’s going on which I don’t know about but involves me/, Sulli thought in worry.

 

However when they arrived, nothing happened. They entered the building happily and everybody cheered over their appearance like always. Sulli immediately thought she’s just being delusional and shrugged the wrong thought off.

 

“Finally!” Onew let out a sigh of relieve when they met. Debuting only a year apart the boys of SHINee were the closest to the girls. “Where were you all?”

 

“It took some time to look this amazing.” Luna answered with a sweet smile then her eyes twinkled with mischief. “Why? Were you missing us?”

 

“God, you should have heard him.” Key rolled his eyes while handling a drink to Taemin. “He was babbling about slippery roads, bad drivers and –“

 

“Kibeom-a, don’t make nonsense up!”

 

“He was worried sick because of you.” Jonghyun confirmed leaving their leader without a chance to escape from the undeniable truth. “Or more like worried sick because of one certain person.”

 

“Well-well who could that person be?” Minho asked with a dramatic tone which made all of them laugh excluded the SHINee leader who seemed to be too embarrassed to do anything.

 

After an hour of meaningless talking and more joking about the “Lunew couple” (they started to get too red for their own good so it was fun) Sulli started to feel herself at ease. It’s been such a long time since she didn’t have to prepare for a stage, comeback or concert but could pass time relaxingly, joyfully… The last time she felt so happy was when she sat beside the river with him on a sleepy Sunday morning.

 

/Here goes my mood/, Sulli thought bitterly. The fact that she was alone didn’t help too – Amber and Krystal went to the table of SNSD, Luna finally went to dance with Onew and the rest of SHINee disappeared to God-knows-where. (It was likely they were roaming around SNSD as well but she wasn’t sure… enough.) Though Victoria stayed she was still occupied with her phone so Sulli felt more alone than any time.

 

Minutes passed in utter silence, only the Christmas song which was played by the staff could be heard in the background when suddenly Victoria got another mysterious phone call and excused herself.

 

“I’ll be back in a minute! Just have fun, okay?”

 

“Y-yeah, unnie.”

 

Sulli watched as she ran out with a happy smile on her face. Unlike in her life, in Victoria’s everything seemed to work out. She knew she shouldn’t be jealous of her member but being as down as she was recently she can’t help but feel a bit bitter. /She’s talented, pretty and bubbly. No wonder why everybody likes her. I hope she’s happy with that person at the other end of the line…/

 

“Jinri-ya.”

 

Hearing her real name she stiffened at a glance. Since she had debuted there were only a few people who preferred to use her real name but only one of them sounded this kind when they called it.

 

“I-I thought you have a concert.” Sulli tried to suppress her shock.

 

Kyuhyun stepped closer to her.

 

“I did have one an hour ago.”

 

“What are you doing here?”

 

“As far as I know it’s an SM Christmas Party and I’m part of the SM Family.”

 

“You know that’s not what I mean, oppa.”

 

Kyuhyun put a hand on her cheek with a tired smile.

 

“Oppa… Millions and millions of girls around the world calls me like this but the only one which affects me is yours.”

 

Sulli gasped and hurriedly pushed his hand away. How much she missed this affection from him… Her heart was beating rapidly but she couldn’t give in.

 

“Stop it.”

 

Kyuhyun seemed to be a bit taken aback by her attitude but quickly retreated.

 

“Let’s take this out, okay?”

 

“No.” Sulli turned her gaze away from his gorgeous self. She put up her best act but she knew she’s awful because her lips were trembling. “You can go out but I stay.”

 

“You’re right… We hid more than enough times.”

 

/Why is he talking? Why can’t he just be in silence or better vanish into thin air? Why is he torturing me with his presence?/, Sulli cried inside while watching the romantically swaying couples a few meters away. /Cho Kyuhyun, do what the right thing to do once instead of your thing and go-/

 

“I’m sorry, Jinri-ya. I shouldn’t have said those things. I was just frustrated because hyung…” Kyuhyun stopped to rethink than continued. “Everything Eunhyuk hyung has said to you was said because he’s worried about us, or more like about you… You shouldn’t think too much of it. We’re fine.”

 

Sulli turned back to him with teary eyes.

 

“Maybe we’re fine right now but how will we be a week later? How long do you think we’ll be able to hide or lie? Right now is fine and tomorrow may be fine as well but sooner or later everything collapses because of this around us and…

 

/…and I can’t let something bad happen to you because of me/, Sulli wanted to say but changed her mind before she could have said it.

 

“I don’t now a thing about the future either.” Kyuhyun spoke up after a too long silence. “People come and go, feelings and thoughts change… But I know that I love you now, Jinri-a. I love you now so much that I’m sure I’d be devastated if I should let you go in the next moment. And because of our professions we indeed can’t risk, we indeed have a lot to lose but I don’t think there’s anything in this world which I’m more afraid to lose or risk than you.”

 

Sulli stopped crying for a while now but her face was still wet from tears. Kyuhyun couldn’t stand watching it so reached out to wipe them away.

 

“You’re not afraid that somebody sees or hears us?” She muttered.

 

“Not anymore… Come here.”

 

Sulli buried her face into Kyuhyun’s chest and enjoyed the warmth which radiated from the way how the latter her back gently. It felt good to be in his arms again, it was good feeling protected and loved by the one she has loved.

 

She was about to devote herself to the feeling when suddenly she remembered something. Or more like somebody.

 

“And what about Victoria unnie?”

 

Kyuhyun’s fingers stopped on her back abruptly.

 

“What about her?”

 

“I’m asking you.”

 

He had just confessed a few seconds ago but she had to make it sure. He believed him but at the same time she can’t help but think about the happiness of her member.

 

Kyuhyun leaned back a bit to be able to lock eyes with her. A big smirk was playing on his lips which Sulli loved and feared at the same time.

 

“Should I confess to you again?”

 

“Oppa…”

 

“Qian is a great girl but she’s not the one for me.” He pressed a light kiss onto her nose. “I love you, Jinri-ya. Don’t ever dare to have doubts about it anymore, okay?”

 

“Yes.” Sulli nodded and quickly eyed his shirt again. They’ve been dating for months and it was enough time to get to know when Cho Kyuhyun wanted to kiss her. It was one of her moments according to the look in his eye and hiding or not hiding, Choi Jinri was sure she wasn’t ready to show everything… except one thing.

 

“I love you too, oppa.”

 

.........................................................................................................................................................................

 

The annual Christmas Party of the SM Family was supposed to be a usual one but seeing the openly cuddling couple the value of the party highly raised.

 

“Aish, I can’t watch!” Taemin moaned and hid his face into Minho’s shoulder.

 

“Are you jealous, Taemin-a?” Shindong asked with a knowing smile.

 

“He has every right to be.” Jonghyun added with a big sigh earning weird glances from the people around. “What? Sulli-ya is the freaking prettiest girl in the company, everybody knows it.”

 

Donghae grinningly slapped his shoulder.

 

“Watch your mouth, she has a boyfriend.”

 

“I’m still wondering how this happened.” Krystal pondered loudly. “I mean they were dating for a while but still managed to keep it hidden. How? For Kyuhyun oppa’s part it’s understandable, he’s sneaky but Sulli-ya is like an open book.”

 

“Ya, Jung Soo Jung!” Eunhyuk pinched her nose disapprovingly. “Don’t talk about your sunbae like that.”

 

“Aren’t you the one against them?”

 

“I’ve never been against them. I was only cautious.”

 

Getting a look from the present Super Junior members, Eunhyuk continued with a sigh.

 

“Okay, I was overly cautious but apologized to him already and anyways, I just did my duty as the leader.”

 

“Leader my …”

 

“Soo Jung-a is right, they did very well.” Amber nodded while Eunhyuk and Krystal started another lovely quarrel then took a glance at her unnie on her right. “How did you know, Vic’?”

 

“I have my sources.” The Chinese girl looked up from her phone with a shy smile to look at the scene. “Aren’t they beautiful?”

 

Luna being the witty one quickly realized her diversion.

 

“Leadernim, who are you texting still?”

 

“Right!” Key snapped his fingers. “I believe you were texting Kyuhyun hyung nonstop to make that scene happen but now that he’s… well occupied with something else you should have stopped already, noona.”

 

Victoria opened to protest but another undeniable beep prevented her from doing so. She just broke into another heavenly smile and without any further word went out again to accept the call.

 

“10,000 won for Changmin hyung!” Minho spoke up with a teasing grin.

 

“Minho-ya, please!” Siwon scoffed confidently. “It’s Zhou Mi, no doubt.”

 

“Zhou Mi? No.” Eunhyuk shook his head vigorously. “They can’t be more than friends.”

 

Krystal and Luna exchanged a knowing look.

 

“You haven’t seen them in the backstage back in Beijing.” Amber grinned.

 

“Wasn’t she with Changmin hyung in Beijing?” Onew chirped in.

 

Kangin sighed.

 

“Oh God, what’s up with everybody? It’s not even February.”

 

“Love is always in the air.” Sungmin chuckled then glanced at the cute couple once again.

 

Ryeowook did the same.

 

“Hyung, you think they’ll be okay?”

 

“I think they’ve never been wrong.”

---

 

I know that it was either overly fluff or overly dramatic.
I know that using SHINee only for cameo was mean of me.
And the ending is weird.
And I at the supposed-be-funny-parts.
But it's kind of okay, isn't it?