"Augh, finally, class is over," I said as stretched my arms into the air. I felt the tension in my tired back and arm muscles being released, and released a relieved sigh. "Now we can go eat!"

"Yeah. That class lecture really took a toll on me...I can still feel my foot trying to wake up from how boring it was." He stopped walking, glancing at his leg. His puffy, brown-curly hair followed the motion of his head, slightly tilting forward. We all stopped to look at the apparently sleeping leg. "Anyone know any techniques to wake up a sleeping leg?"

We all laughed at him. "Just keeping walking S, it'll wear off in time. Haven't you had one before?" The words came from an average sized man, his head turning to the right to meet the rest of our faces. No matter how many times I'd seen his arms, it seemed like it didn't fit his short frame - it looked like he had two heads for arms.

"Stop playing dumb dude, you've had this before!" The voice, full of enthusiasm and an upbeat attitude, filled us with joy. As he said his words, he set his legs into a peculiar position and heard a click. I made a glance in his direction; his shoes were gliding on the ground.

"Ugh, you and your wheelie shoes. I'm tempted to buy some...they sound like a really fast way to get to class on a bad day." I looked to the left, shooting a face of jealousy as I tried to crumple my face. His reply showed that I failed in doing so.

"You know, you can't frown, can't you?" He spun himself around, his front facing towards the three of us who were burdended with having to walk instead of slide. He looked at me, and confirmed it. "Hahaha, I knew it!"

"It's okay, not all of us can have everything," said A. There was a hidden truth to what he said, but I didn't understand it at the moment.

"Actually, they say that girls prefer guys whose faces are more positive and happy." S was still hobbling on his right foot, his left leg still attempting to wake up from hibernation. "Out of all of us, you probably have the most energetic and happy demeanor - and, face." A chuckle of laughter came from each of the guys.

"Hold on, you're like, friends with a bunch of girls, right? Why haven't you made a move on any of them?" He stopped his wheelie shoes and turned towards me. The rest of the guys also paused their walking as well. "You're not gay or something, are you?" I could sense a mix of prejudice and curiosity from him; the sudden question hit something inside me, and for a split second, I wanted to punch him in the face. "Do you think I'm gay?" is what I wanted to reply with. I held it in, and said something else.

"We've been through this question before...I just want to be their friends for right now." A collective groan came out of their mouths; I responded with a twinge of annoyance. "What, I can't be friends with girls?"

S answered, though it seemed to have a hidden meaning to it as well. "No, no, that's fine. We were just asking."

"We were just wondering if you could, you know, introduce us to these girls," said D. "Since you'll just be their friend, and you're also...you know...it wouldn't hurt to support both your friends and ho-"

"Really? I'll think about it." I interrupted him with a reply and a shot of severe disapproval as he fidgited in place.

"Ok, ok, let's move on to a different topic guys." There was an atmosphere of awkwardness in our group - no doubt D felt uncomfortable with it. "Anyone recommend any anime shows? I've been looking for a new one for a while."

"Hmmm, I've got a bunch I could recommend!" Before I could say any titles, though, I felt my stomach groan for food. "Say, you guys wanna grab a snack and head to a community room or the library? We can chat and eat at the same time."

"Yeah, sure. I am pretty hungry, now that you mention it." A placed his hand over his belly, his bigs arms and stomach yearning for sustenance.

"Yeah, let's go!" D said with an upbeat and funny voice.

"I'm not hungry, but I'll eat too," said S as well.

We walked to the library, passing by means of the walkway provided by the University. All the basic essentials of our campus - including classes, buildings, dorms, etc etc - were within 15 mins of each other from any end of campus. Whether or not that was for someone walking, spriting, or a mix of both, though, no one really knew. It was a major complaint by many of the other students, many of who were simply complaining just for the sake of complaining. The walkway was very convenient, as it cut right through the center of campus, making it easier for anyone to get anywhere without worrying about yielding to cars, buses, or traffic lights. The major thing to worry about were those individuals who rode on bikes, since that could get tricky during rainy days. The walkway spans about 1500 feet of beautiful, engraved concrete, made of slabs that were personalized in their own manner. Some were decorated with a multitude of colors - others were emblazed with intricate designs of honor, nobility, and general awesomeness. Strange shapes were not unheard of either - at one point, students were amazed with a slab in the outline of a narwhal. There were rumors that the walkway was actually an old magic grid, intended to help practictioners of magic assemble their energies to create spells. In either case, the walkway was a symbolism of the diversity of ideals and people present, one that endeared it to past and present students alike.

As we traversed the walkway, I couldn't help but admire the trees that lined each side. It wasn't just a homogenous row of stale trees - it was far from that. On both sides, one could see that each tree was unique. Each one gathered from a different place, all to be brought together here, like the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. It seemed strange, but they all complemented each other well. From the the gorgeous, pink flowers of the cherry blossom tree, brought from Japan; the buttressed trunk of the Ifit tree, found in Southeast asia; and the spectacular "white flame" tree, native to China and Vietnam, there was so much my eyes saw. And yet, something unusual about them struck me. I wasn't able to pinpoint what it was, but there was something weird about seeing them that evoked a feeling within me. As if I had not seen them before; no, as if I had not experienced life yet. It was as if I was given a glimpse of a treasure behind a sealed door, before having it shut in my face.

It was not the first time I had felt such a feeling. In the past month or so, I've had numerous situations like this, questioning everything that I was experiencing. I would pause in the middle of doing something, trying to make sure that what was happening was real, and not a dream. One one occasion, I held my pencil for an extended period of time, trying to guarrantee that what I was seeing and feeling was indeed a pencil. As a result, I stood frozen in my seat in class, as if I was a block of ice, unmoving and oblivious to the world. My senses would try their best to break through whatever illusion might be present, but to no avail; the only thing gained were the stares and judgements of classmates. The feeling was not limited to a strict routine, either - it would randomly pop up, throwing my rhythm off, and severely cutting into my concentration and studies. I was never ready for when it would strike.

What was it that was bugging me?

Before long, we found ourselves in one of the public library areas, each snacking on his own merienda. I looked at our group - four healthy, happy guys, all with their own style and thoughts - and thought myself lucky to be with them. We were in one of the social areas of the library, our four crimson, plushy chairs oriented towards each other, with a table in the middle. I wanted to relax, and let my mind rest; yet, it seemed something was lacking, and it continued to nag at my being.

Did I really know these people? Are the really the best friends I have?

"Hey, are you there?" J was waving his hand in front of my face, trying to bring me back from whatever alternate universe my mind was in. I blinked, and realized that I spaced out again, the sushi-to-be-eaten hovering in front of my open mouth.

"Oh, sorry. Spaced about a bit." I chewed on the sushi piece, trying to savor in its fishy taste.

"Oh, didn't you want to talk about something?" said A.

"Ah, that's right." I leaned forward, my gaze shifting from one of ambivalence to serious curiosity. "In my history of civilization class, I learned about how environment influences the outcome of societies, as well as their hierarchies. Disease, climate and weather shifts, and natural disasters have played great roles in changing civilizations. The "Black Plague" of the Dark Ages was definitely an example of how massively the structure of a population - social, political, and economic - can be changed by such an environmental factor. Likewise, the Incan and Aztec civilizations were also influenced by their own environments - the tropical weather and flooding, of course, played a role in their concept of the existance of their different gods and requirement of sacrifices to appease them. And, let's not forget how many wars were fought over resources."

S looked over at me from his chair, lightly rubbing his leg. "Yeah, there was a lot of warring and bloodshed in the past.  I don't understand why any of it made it right though."

"Makes sense," said A. "The rulers of past kingdoms and civilizations wanted to continue to expand their domains, in order to facilitate better growth, commerce, and to secure valuable and raw materials. It's more pronounced when it comes to, let's say, fertile grasslands or gold mines. Like in ancient Mesopotamia."

"Yeah, we know this already, so why are we talking about it now?" D's voice had a hint of annoyance; I ignored it.

I looked up at the trio, my eyes connecting with the three of them.

"Haven't you guys wondered what it would be like if...." My voice trailed off.

Quickly, A picked up what I was about to say. "If what," he asked. "Tell us!" He scoffed quietly, awaiting what I was about to say.

"...there was magic in the world?"

Groans rose from the other two individuals, their suspense broken by the childish notion.

"Huh? What are you talking about?" No doubt S was confused by what I said. "How are those two topics related?"

"Think about it. We have prior history on which we can retroactively explain and view past events. We've made ideas, established connections, in order to see why people did what they did - both ingenious and stupid. From talking about the arrogance of the upper class to explain why lower classes hated them, and consequently rebelled, to a child who is brought up with the concept of a failed country, bringing about feelings of anger towards all others, thus resulting in the rise of a leader that was loved by his country at the time - but hated by all future generations and more to come - isn't it interesting? Do you guys see the point of history?"

"Uh, you kinda lost me there," said D hesitantly. "But, I think it relates to how we learn from the past to make our future, right?"

"Yes, yes, you're right," I said in an excited tone. "Even though magic may not necessarily exist in this world, to know how it would impact how society - and the workings between societies - would benefit us, should the need arise. In a way, if we were to insert such a variable like magic into the past to see how they would've turned out, we could mirror the effects on society in the present. Just like how an object is fired through, for example, a wall, we take into account the variables surrounding it in order to find out other aspects of it, like final velocity, the movement of energy, and how far it would go."

"So, you're telling us to view that system you just described as our society...and to see how the inclusion of magic as simply another variable changes the path that our world takes?" I nodded towards A, happy that he explained what I said in a simpler way to the other two.

"Hmm...that's an interesting way to put it. My guess is that magic would be viewed as something along the lines of a weaponistic nature. Pretty much, the wealthy and powerful would control its usage, and dictate who deserves to learn it or not." It was a good answer from S, albeit it seemed kind of short.

"The reminds me of that one anime, Zee No T? They had the children from wealthy households and high descent learning magic, while farmers and anyone "lower" than a certain nobility threshold were barred from learning magic. I remember there was quite a bit of fan-service in there too..."

We saw him begin to space out, and we began waving our hands in front of his spaced-out face to bring him back to this reality. "Hey, stop thinking about that, I'm trying to bring a serious and interesting discussion, not bring erted topics to the table!"

He blinked, and quickly apologized. "Sorry about that, got a bit too carried away, haha!"

"Back on topic...D had a point." I adjusted the back of my shirt; it felt itchy. "That anime did bring up that issue a bit, and I was always wondering if the barring of magic - if that is what would occur - was a result of the higher classes trying to prove themselves as "special" individuals, and make them more distinct from lower classes, or them becoming power hungry and keeping it out of the latter's hands."

"I think it's a mix of those two reasons, actually. I don't think I'm the only one who thinks this, but this notion of making one's self distinct from others is something that isn't just limited to higher classes. It happens to everyone. Every person wants to feel like they are unique, and have something that others don't have. We want to have traits that are distinguishable from others so that we will stand apart from the rest; this idea is something that's found throughout our society today. By making ourselves different, we can be loved or wanted by others, and it solidifies that need. Think about it - would you want to like someone who is just like everyone else, or someone that is different and has traits or things exclusive to that person?"

A's response brought up a good point. After all, each person is made of traits and connections. We're made up of different combinations of these, and we want to think of ourselves as special. In hindsight, though, there's bound to be people who share many things, physically and personality-wise. Our DNA may be special, but we are technically a mosaic of puzzle pieces, each dicating parts of our nature and appearance. It only makes sense that sometimes, people will share these traits. Accordingly, it brings up another issue - do people look at us like these unique amalgamations of the genome, or simply as a set of puzzle pieces? Do people's attitudes towards us depend on "us", or simply just a jumbled up container of attributes? I wanted to respond to his curiousness, but it would lead to a discussion that I always hated.

"A, you're basically trying to explore human nature at this point," I said, slightly peeved. "That discussion, though pertinent, would be a side-track from the one we have at hand...It's a good topic, though."

"Sorry about that. I've been reading a lot of books lately; some of the ideas just slipped out."

"It's alright; we'll talk about that later. Thinking more about our prior case, I agree that it could be a mix of the two. And yet, I also think that the limited access could be from fear against lower classes."

"Fear? That doesn't sound like something the higher classes would have." D leaned back in his chair, a blasé sigh escaping his mouth. "Arrogance and a tendency to take things for granted, now that's to be expected." He wagged his finger, showing us a bit of the same thing he was blaming the higher classes for having.

"You illustrate my point, D. There's no doubt nobility and the like know that they can't carry on without a regard for others' attitudes. As ignorant as they can be, they too know that they are, at the very least, ignored, and at the worst, hated by lower people, and those within their own class. The feeling of hate can caused people to become paranoid, and resort to extremes to keep their stature intact." I paused, catching my breath.

"Their own pre-conceived notions that they are different, or special, and hated because of it, could cause them to treat lower people badly, resulting in the lack of access to any possible methods which could lead to their downfall. Having a voice or influence in governmental affairs, whistleblowers, and access to weapons, in their minds, are just a few possible ends to their lives. Magic, naturally, could be used as weapons or tools to fight against them, so they consolidate power and prevent the spread of it by making sure magic would be given only to other nobility, whom they or others they trust, could control."

"Did you take sociological psychology or something like that? Because it sounded like you did."

"Uh, well, I like to learn. I pick up things really fast, but you guys already know that." D's well-intended comment threw me off guard; I was a bit embarassed.

"That sounds like a good point. But when you think about it, magic wouldn't just be miltaristic in nature, either. It would pretty much revolutionize everything we've learned so far, if it did exist today. Magic wouldn't just be a tool either - it could spread in a religious nature. And we know how religions work..."

I felt something spark in my mind; I quickly glimpsed towards S. He felt it too.

"Wow, that wasn't subtle at all, was it S?"

"Hey, D, I'm just saying, religion isn't exactly always the morally good path that everyone preaches it to be."

"That doesn't mean it isn't always as bad as you say it is though!"

"What exactly is good with worshipping something that doesn't exist though?"

"Whoa, you just crossed a line."

D's voice incrementally got higher, until it suddenly dropped several octaves. A and I felt the hidden anger in his voice; this was not going well.

"Hey guys, cool it!" A stepped in between the now standing individuals, who were poised and ready to fight.

"Sheesh, sorry for expressing my views." Both S and D sat back into their chairs, their faces crumpled like used paper.

"This isn't the place or the time to do this, guys," A said sternly. "You can debate this somewhere else. No need to make a scene here."

The atmosphere, once charged with tension, went back to its original state.

"You guys are as passionate as ever, huh?"  I chuckled.

"Well, I hope this isn't the end of the discussion. There's still a few things I'd like for all of us to discuss..." Everyone turned towards me, their faces somewhat confused.

"After all...what's better than sharing in the company of others who are equally as curious about the world as I am? It's fun, right?" There was a moment of silence.

S leaned forward. "Yeah, you're right," he said calmly. "Might as well indulge in this while we're still young, right?"

"Haha, I guess you're right S." D glanced back at S. "And this guy, over here too."

Everyone started looking at me; it felt awkward.

"Uh, guys...you don't need to be staring at me...and you, A, the hell is with that creepy face?!?"

"Sorry, couldn't help it. It's fun to mess with you, you know that."

I grinned back at him, wearing a smile that was as real as it could be.

--む--

We continued talking for an hour or so about numerous other topics, most of which were difficult, if not controversial. After our opening discussion on magic, we hungered for other, intellectually stimulating topics. We began talking about human nature, and how the differences between humans seemed to veer towards chaos and death, evident through the numerous examples of bloody conflicts and wars throughout civilization. Was there a single standard that we should all be judged by? It was agreed that no one was inherently "right" or "wrong" - using such words only opened up problems of how to create the threshold for each. What does it take for someone to be "right" or "good"? It all depended on the observer's upbringing. For example, one person might think that hanging a murderer would be "right", in the sense that the person would no longer be able to harm others. Someone else could contest, however, that killing the murderer would be wrong, as that results in the person's death; killing someone else is morally wrong, in their terms. Another person could say that people who have acted as accessories to the death of the murderer are, in a sense, murderers as well. If the goal was to create a divide between what was right and wrong, and illustrate that murderers are wrong because they kill others, then this logic fails. Anyone who participates in the death of said murderer would become accessories to it, and thus, what they did was wrong, too.

Was it ever "justifiable" for someone to kill someone else? Self-preservation was one argument. Naturally, each person wants to keep living, and so would do his or her best to not die. To say that someone would be in the wrong for killing someone else in order to save his or her life was very grey. After all, it would be difficult to immediately say that killing is always justifiable for self-preservation; in the real world, where everyone was always competiting for limited resources (which is true to different degrees, depending on where people live), a person could kill someone over something trivial, and justify it as fulfilling his need to thrive. It would depend on the person's viewpoint, and there's own thresholds for what would threaten their existance.

At one point, we passed over the workings of the "Golden Rule" - treating others they way one wants to be treated. There were several holes in its application, though; the rule itself lacks insight, and failed to take into account the context of a situation. A prisoner, for example, could use the rule in his defense before being sent to jail or executed, stating that the judge convicting him or the executioner about to kill him would not want others to do the same to either of them, and as such, they should not do the same to others. Plus, how would others know how others would want to be treated? People have different personalities, tastes, and desires - something that one individual would love would be hated by another.

"Isn't it strange how such a rule that we grew up with can have such holes?"

"I agree with A...it's very scary how ignorant we were back then. It could've been used to take advantage of us." We looked towards S and D, their faces a mix of shock and confusion.

"Yeah, it does. But wouldn't it be kinda stupid to use the rule literally like that?"

S rubbed his bald chin with his left hand. "It does sound strange, now that we think about it now. Still, it's a good general code to follow by. It all depends on whether you decide to follow it, and if others will use it the same way."

"You're right about that. It's ultimately up to us on applying it. One shouldn't use it literally, as if things would always turn out the way you'd expect them to." I closed my eyes and leaned forward, trying to come up with a counter to the criticism. Suddenly, it hit me; I gasped as the realization came to my lips.

"What if...the application of the golden rule isn't just a single meaning?"

A looked at me, puzzled by my statement. "A single meaning?"

"Yes. What if, the golden rule is supposed to be applied not in our own particular interpetation, but in consideration of others?"

The three of them fixated their gazes on me, still lost on what I was trying to say. I placed my arms on my knees and clutched my hands together a few inches from my mouth, ready to say it.

"If we apply the golden rule to our own method of using it, asking ourselves if we would want others to apply the golden rule in their own ways too, we would normally say no. Each of us could predict that others may ignore taking into account the criticisms we talked about, such as context of situations, or others' differences in taste. This ignoring of such factors would lead to behavior that each of us would not want. So, then, where do we go from here? In effect, we shouldn't do the same either - which, funny enough, follows according to the logic of the golden rule."

There was a moment of silent admiration from the three individuals, who, not long ago, were so quick to discard the validity of the golden rule.

"That...makes sense. Wow." A's face was glowing with amazement, and his voice showed it too. "When you put it that way, the golden rule self-corrects itself from the flaw of not taking tastes or context into account.

"You're really something, aren't you?!?" D said excitedly. "That's seriously amazing that you found that out!!!"

"Definitely. I'm in completely awe of you." S followed up with an astonished laugh.

I scratched my head with my right arm, my face filled with embarassment. "Well, I was just thinking it through, but thanks guys," I said with a half-nervous, half-flattered chuckle.

"I guess that's just how you are, huh? I'd kill to be like you - smart, social, and super!" D's comment hit me inside; I kept the wound from showing.

"Er, well, I..." I hesitated, trying to keep my mind from spazzing out. I looked at my watch; it was 10:30 pm. "Hey guys, it's getting late now. We should call it for today."

"That's alright, I've got to head back to my dorm and game with some of the dormmates. We promised to start steamrolling noobs on our smurfs on league." A stood up, his blue and white checkered shorts standing out from his black tee. "What about you two?"

"I'm going to probably play video games too and head to sleep. Or not; it's so easy to turn an hour of video games into an all-nighter, if you know what I mean." D poked his arm into S's side, hoping his innuendo would be transmitted phyiscally and aurally.

"What the heck man," he said with a tone of confusion and humor. "I'm going to head to sleep early; I've got to get up for 8 am classes tomorrow. It's such a pain, I wish I scheduled mine to 10 am, like you." He stood up, his blue pants and red shirt evoking a familiar feeling.

"Well, you know what they say, the early bird gets the worm," I said teasingly. "Or, you stay up all night and grab the early slots for class selection like me. Ha!" I grinned, proud that I managed to finish the scheduling in under an hour. "Anyway, I'm going to head back to my room; I've got some work to finish up on still."

Everyone began heading towards the exit, which was just a few dozens steps away. We passed through the first set of doors, entering into the external interior of the library. It was a separate enclosure of the library, connecting the main body of the library to the outside. The area was meant to buffer the change in humidity and temperature, reducing energy costs. A cylindrical dome of plexiglass surrounded us on all sides, giving us a protected view of the darkened, glistening world outside. The air was warmer and wetter; I immediately felt the uncomfortable humidity plaster onto my body. I stopped, and waved the rest of the group good night. What D had said struck me. His words echoed in my head, reverberating like a terrible, catchy pop song. "That's just the way you are, huh." The words inadvertently slipped from my lips. I knew he didn't mean for it to be an insult, but there was something about those words that switched something inside me.

I stepped through the next set of doors, the humid air running past me. I felt the humidity grab at my long, black hair, weighing it down like a secret hidden within a heart. My mouth had said one place, but my mind decided on another destination. I turned left from the glass dome, passing its shining, hexagonal plates and trudging instead down an extended ramp. I looked back at the dome - it was indeed beautiful to look at. Each plate, though made in the same pattern, drew its own work of art, the light refracted and reflected into infinite amounts of streams of light. No doubt, it was a collective effort by all the plates to make what was strewn all over the immediate area.

"That's nice...Wish I had that," I said softly.

I looked at my left hand; emblazoned on the back of it was a mark, in the shape of an upside-down V. It was only a subtle discoloration, but it was surely there. I closed my eyes, and tilted my head towards the ground. I remembered that it happened during an accident with a stove, apparently caused by the imprint of a hot pair of tongs. I was told I tripped, and fell onto it while it was mistakenly left there; the imprint was all that was left. Yet, that happened 2 years ago; such burns would've healed by now.

A sense of uneasiness arose within me. There was something strange going on, as if someone had pulled an invisible veil over my eyes. I could see, and yet I couldn't. My memories didn't feel like they were mine, nor did my life. One could say I was feeling the symptoms of depression, but visits to the psychologist proved unfruitful; they all attributed it to SAD. I wanted to find the truth, but I had no way to do it. Not in my current condition, at least.

I continued my trek across campus, finally arriving at my destination: the outdoor amphitheater. My eyes finally accustomed to the darkness, I gazed at the sight upon me.

There was nothing.