It never made sense to Gunwoo, and the more he though about it, the more he tried to make sense of it, the more his brain hurt.

Insoo had been the victim to terrible abuse from the leader's part, yet he had been the one effected by the car accident. But Gunwoo on the other hand, had done such terrible things to Insoo, but Gunwoo walked away from the accident with nothing, just one insignificant bruise.

And the more time passed, the more Gunwoo continued to hate himself.

He knew that part of his self hate was stupid.

Even if he hadn't said any of those horrible things to Insoo, they probably still would have been in a bad car accident. Something bad would have still happened to them probably.

But Gunwoo hated that the last thing on Insoo's mind before the crash was probably of how much the leader hated him, and that really wasn't true. Gunwoo had messed up big time that day, but in no way did he hate Insoo.

He just hoped that Insoo knew that right now.

Gunwoo hugged his pillow tighter as he continued to stare out the window. His eyes were starting to water up.

His thoughts were cut short when Seyong slowly opened the door, his arm still in a cast. "We should go now," he said. 

Gunwoo noticed how much Seyong had changed in these past couple of days. He became more serious, which was weird on his part. He still tried to be the mood maker, he still tried to be happy for everyone, but at the same time, he spent so much time fretting over everyone and making sure that they were okay, that it became so exhausting for him.

It made Seyong appreciate Insoo so much more, the way he was able to become the mother to everyone in the band, while being able to take care of himself and still have so much energy left.

Seyong figured that was what made Insoo such an incredible person.

Gunwoo obeyed Seyong, slowly climbing out of bed and following the rapper out of the room until they had come into the living room. JunQ and Chaejin were already there waiting for them. The two of them had been silent as the hyungs entered the room. The dorm was always pretty silent now. No one really had anything to say, and no one had the energry or motivation to play around like they used to. 

"Is Manager already outside?" Gunwoo asked, breaking the silence. Everyone nodded before Gunwoo released a sigh. "Okay," he said. "Let's go."

The ride was painfully quiet once again. It was the same silence they were in before the car accident, and it put shivers in everyone's spines.

The fifteen minute drive felt like it had taken over three hours but once the car stopped everyone sighed before hesitantly jumping out of the van.

It was a habit now, coming here. They walked on autopilot until they made it to their destination.

"Hey, Insoo Hyung," Gunwoo greeted their band mate, who was still sleeping on his hospital bed.

In the past three days, Insoo had only woken up once, and during that time, he was so much in pain that he was practically delirious. It had scared his four dongsaengs so badly; they never wanted to think about that day ever again. It was terrible watching their hyung continually in pain, tears coming from his eyes. He was so focused on his pain that he almost didn't realize that he had four other people in the room. 

The doctors couldn't come fast enough as they painfully watched Insoo suffer.

They remembered Gunwoo talking to Insoo as an effort to calm him down. Surprisingly, Gunwoo was the only one able to keep his head calm enough in order to take some kind of action. 

Everyone released a breath they didn't even realize they were holding once a doctor had come in and injected Insoo with some more pain medications.

Insoo never woke up again after that.

The doctors told them that it was normal, and that Insoo sleeping like this was really the best thing that could happen to him right now. They said it would help with his recovery.

That didn't stop the others from worrying like this, though.

As the four of them got closer to Insoo's bed, they took their places, seating themselves around Insoo's bed.

Their waiting game continued. 

Gunwoo would watch Insoo closely, making sure that if Insoo showed any signs of waking up again, he wouldn't miss it. He wanted to be the first to greet Insoo after he woke up. He was still at a loss for words, seeing as how once Insoo woke up, Gunwoo was sure that he wouldn't know how, or even deserve to, talk with Insoo like they always used to.

Insoo really shouldn't forgive Gunwoo, not after everything he said. Not after using his past eating disorder to try to rip him apart.

But Gunwoo only hoped that Insoo would find it in his heart to forgive him.

The first thing he heard was the sound of rythmic beating. It was a little annoying. He attempted to open his eyelids, which felt ten times heavier than normal, but once a tiny bit of bright light hit him, he moaned, quickly closing his eyes again.

He tried moving his hand, but felt someone immediately pull his arm back and place it on the bed. "Be careful," a familiar voice said. "You have a cast on that."

Insoo wanted to scoff at the person and ask what in the world happened, but before he could do anything, memories began crashing into his mind, a horrendous video of the car accident started to play. It was slow, just like Insoo had remembered seeing it before he had lost all consciousness. He clenched his eyes as he gasped.

"Take it easy, Hyung," another voice said. The heart monitor was starting to beep a little faster, something Insoo almost didn't notice.

Insoo was finally able to open his eyes. It was slow and it felt like it took forever, especially with how much the light had been hurting his eyes, but finally, Insoo was able to see where the two voices were coming from. 

Gunwoo and Seyong were looking over them. Their faces had an even mix of exhaustion and