“Hyukkie, what would you do if I broke up with you?” Junsu asked his boyfriend one day. The one in front of him frowned and took a step forward to have a better look at the other’s eyes. “Why so sudden? I thought you were happy, I thought…we were happy.” he replied taking Junsu’s hand in his own. “I love you, Su. I still do.” Hyukjae tried to kiss him, but the younger jerked back with a sad smile on his face. “I don’t anymore…” Junsu said freeing his hand from the other’s and turning around to leave “I’m sorry.”

           Since that incident, six years have passed and Hyukjae grew to be the y dance machine he was now. He was twenty two and a music major at the Seoul University. It took him two years to forget Junsu and another boyfriend to erase the sad memory of him completely. Donghae was a few months younger than him and in the same major. He was smiling all the time and his hyper personality fit perfectly with Hyukjae’s settled one. They were both very good at dancing and the energetic boy even suggested opening a studio after graduation.

           Hyukjae thought Donghae changed him in something better and he decided to get rid of his old name too, so he now became Eunhyuk. He was no longer the calm boy who let others control his life, now he was the one that was doing it to them. Of course, Donghae didn’t mind. Donghae loved Eunhyuk, but never admitted it, being too afraid that with his lover’s personality, he would laugh at him and then run away. Donghae was a good boy and did whatever the older told him to, never asking anything about his past or something else, even though he grew  suspicious at times.

           One day, everything changed, their world was turned upside down, by someone Eunhyuk hoped he would never have to see again.

***

           “Hyuuukkiee~!!” Donghae shouted throwing his arms around the said boy’s neck. Eunhyuk groaned and tried to push him away, but to no avail. “I hate you.” he muttered and immediately the other’s hold on him loosened. “How many times did I tell not to call me like that?!” he glared at the boy in front of him that looked like he could start crying any moment from now. “Sorry…” Donghae whispered sighing. “…I just…” he continued. “I love you!” he thought, saddening for not being able to say the last part loud enough so that the other would hear him. “Whatever.” Eunhyuk replied putting his hands in the back pockets of the blue jeans he was wearing and looking around the campus. Something caught his eye and Donghae was soon forgotten and left alone at the entrance of the recording room. “Where are you going?” he wanted to ask Eunhyuk. “Stay with me!” he wanted to say to get the other’s attention back on him. “I love you!” his heart cried out again in pain and soon he felt the well known sting in his eyes. He didn’t like the hungry looks his lover was throwing at the round-assed boy.        

           “What the hell are you doing here?!” Eunhyuk yelled grabbing the younger by the arm and pulling him in the closest empty room, which was the biology laboratory. Donghae followed and stopped by the door, looking through the small round window that allowed a view in the room. “Hyukkie!” Junsu beamed and hugged the older tightly. Eunhyuk’s expression changed from the dangerous mask he had on till now, to a softer one “Why are you here?” he asked almost whispered. Junsu looked up and smiled “I came to see you.”. The older sighed “This is wrong. Junsu-ssi, I don’t want to have anything to do with you.”. “C’monn! Don’t be so grumpy, Hyukkie. What’s in the past should stay in the past. Why hold grudges?” Junsu replied still smiling.

           Donghae just stood there speechless. What was that guy Junsu to his lover? Why didn’t Eunhyuk push that man away like he did with him? Tears fell from his beautiful brown innocent eyes, down his reddened cheeks, to the corner of his pinkish lips, only to follow his jaw line and go down to the ground, destroying their perfect form. He looked at his feet and saw the drops shattered, just like his heart was right now. He moved his left hand to his chest and felt his heartbeat slow down, like it hasn’t done since he met Hyukjae. He took a step back and stole one last glance at the two hands entwined, before going his own way. He didn’t doubt his lover. He couldn’t. He loved the other so much that even if Eunhyuk ed another man in front of him and Donghae would still think it’s nothing. “He wouldn’t cheat on me. He may be the biggest jerk in this world, but that’s too much even for him.” he thought while heading to his class.

           That day, Donghae went home without waiting for Eunhyuk. One light from the long road of their relationship turned off. There were only a few left and Donghae didn’t think Eunhyuk would be smart enough to change the broken  bulb. Or he didn’t want to. It was the same for him. Both paths were leading to the same thing: the end of their relationship. 

***

           The next day, Donghae came earlier to avoid Eunhyuk, but when he got to the institute, he wished he would have stayed home that day. On the bench, under the biggest tree in the campus, their bench and their tree, sat his lover and none other than Junsu. The younger had his head on the other’s shoulder and their fingers were laced together. Donghae turned around and ran as fast as he could, tears being spilled again. He got to the roof and looked down. He gulped and whispered “If I’d jump from here and die, would you ever miss me, Eunhyuk-ah?”. He sighed and got down from the border of the building when he spotted those two for the second time that day “Guess not…”. He layed on the ground, staring at the sky. There were no clouds and the sun was shining brightly. The corner of his lips twitched upwards a little, for a few seconds a smile lighting up the perfect features of the heartbroken boy.

           That day, Donghae didn’t even say “Hi!” to Eunhyuk. He walked home, instead of taking the train as he always did. There were too many memories. And like that, another light turned off. There weren’t many left. Donghae hoped this would end already. It was too painful to watch.

           “But it’s our anniversary!” the younger bounced up and down still holding his lover’s hand. “I bought you a present! Where’s mine?” he continued. Eunhyuk smiled and ruffled his hair “Donghae-ah! I promise I’ll make it up to you, okay? Don’t be sad. It doesn’t suit you.”. His face got closer to the other’s and his lips brushed against Donghae’s in a delicate manner. Both blushed when they parted and Donghae didn’t even mention about any kind of present for the rest of the day.

           But for his surprise, Eunhyuk didn’t forget at all about it. When he was preparing to go home, Hyuk grabbed his hand, smiled and took him to the roof. “Ah! Why do you have to cover my eyes?” Donghae asked trying to take Eunhyuk’s hands off his eyes. “Baby, do you trust me?” the other questioned. “With my life…” the answer came from the younger almost whispered. He heard a door open and Eunhyuk released him. He blinked a few times to adjust with the light coming from the sunset and then looked around. On the ground was layed a white blanket, next to it a basket and everywhere on the roof red candles. “Whoaa!” Donghae gasped, tears of joy threatening to appear. “Do you like it?” the man that stood behind watching his lover asked. The younger turned around and jumped in the other’s arms, almost sending both of them to the ground. He kissed Eunhyuk passionately, their fingers laced together. “Hae…” the older whispered breaking the kiss. “Yeah?” the answer came from the blushing boy. Eunhyuk pointed down at the other’s crotch chuckling “We…have to deal with that.”. Donghae looked down too and gasped when he saw how happy little Donghae was after the kiss. He buried his head in the older’s neck “Not fair.”. Eunhyuk laughed and hugged him “I promised I’ll make it up to you so that you won’t be sad anymore. Well, I don’t mind doing this. I don’t mind…at all.”.

           “Don’t be sad, my ! You don’t even care if I cry or laugh or even die.” Donghae said throwing the picture frame off the desk. It was the two of them smiling at the camera. Their hyung, Sungmin, thought it would be a great idea if the first picture he took with his pink new camera was of a happy couple. He said it brought luck and it did indeed. Soon after that, he met Kyuhyun at a nearby café. They were still together and Donghae knew very well that they frequented the closets and empty classrooms all around the campus whenever they had a free period. Donghae wasn’t such a saint himself not to try that with Eunhyuk, but they were caught by one guard and since then they swore to not do it in the campus ever again. From how the things developed, he wouldn’t be too surprised if Eunhyuk broke that rule with Junsu.

           He sat on the bed and sighed “Why did I have to fall in love with such an ?”. He closed his eyes as memories made their way in his head again.

           “Don’t do it! Eunhyukkie!” Donghae screamed trying to stop his lover from killing the fish. “Hae, we need to eat.” the other tried to explain. Sungmin entered the kitchen with two soju bottles in his hand “Is the food ready? We can’t do a movie night without food and if you try to, then you go and tell Kyuhyun. He’s scary when he doesn’t get what he wants and he wants food.”. Eunhyuk looked up at his friend “Look who’s talking. I couldn’t walk properly for a week after I refused to give you my homework.”. Sungmin chuckled and then his face got dark “Yeah? Well I just tried some martial arts moves on you. And there’s a difference between not walking for a week due to a fight and not walking for a week due to a blueballs case.”. Eunhyuk laughed “Hae, I’ve made up my mind. You can keep the fishey!”. “Yeeey!” Donghae beamed before taking a glass to put the still moving thing in it. “Yaaah! Lee Hyukjae! Don’t even think about it!” Sungmin yelled chasing after the other. “I just did!” the younger replied stucking his tongue out. He hid behind Donghae, hugging the other from the back “Haeee~~! Hyung is being mean to me!”. “Hyung! Leave him alone or I’ll burn Kyuhyun’s books and erase his StarCraft and put the blame on you!” the boy threatened. There was silence and then Eunhyuk and Sungmin burst out laughing. “What did I say? Why are you laughing?” Donghae pouted. Kyuhyun went in to see if the food was ready and was shocked to see his lover and his friend rolling on the floor. “Hae, do you even know how to use a computer?” Eunhyuk asked looking up at the said boy. Kyuhyun quickly understood what that was about and ran out of the room searching for his laptop “Don’t even think about it, hyung!”.

***

           Donghae woke up and headed to the kitchen. “Good morning, darling! Eunhyuk is waiting for you in the living room.”. Hearing his lover’s name Donghae looked up at his mom, leaving on the counter the glass he just took out of the cupboard. He went into the said room with slow steps. “Hey…” he said waving at the one sitting on the couch. Eunhyuk got up and hugged Donghae “Hey, baby!”. “Hae! I’m leaving! Don’t forget to lock the door!” his mom shouted from the door before closing it behind her.

           Eunhyuk looked at Donghae “Why are you avoiding me?”. The other sighed massaging his temples “I’m just…tired.”. The older gulped “Something bad…happened?” he asked. The younger shot him a look and tried to restrain himself from shouting, but ended up failing “Are you asking me if something happened?! You’ve been with that guy Junsu all week and you’re asking me what’s wrong?! You are, Hyuk…”. “He’s just a friend.” Eunhyuk said simply. “Then why don’t you hold hands and kiss with Sungmin too? Or is he less than a friend?” Donghae replied holding back tears. “Baby-ah, let’s just not talk about it, okay?” the older suggested taking Donghae’s hand in his, but the other released it violently. “I’m sick of it. I’ve already talked with my parents. In a few days’ time I’m leaving for New York. I’m continuing my studies there. It would be for the best if we break up now. I…” Donghae stopped a sob escaping his mouth “…I love you, but…I can’t do this anymore. Not when he’s around.”. Eunhyuk hugged Donghae tightly biting his lip, trying hard not to cry too “I love you too, Donghae. And I mean it! Because of you I forgot him and you taught me what true love is, how it feels to care and be loved. Please…just give me another chance.”. “It’s too late. I’ve waited and waited and waited, too afraid to confess. I thought you’d leave me if I did and now I’ve become what I was scared of: I became you.” Donghae shook his head and looked down at his feet. “You know your way out. There’s no need for me to show it to you.” the younger sighed pointing at the door.

***

           Eunhyuk knocked lightly on the front door, but received no answer. He went in since it was open and looked for Junsu. He stopped on his tracks when he caught sight of his ex-boyfriend half- over another guy on the couch. “Yoochun-ah! Not there! Aaah!” the boy moaned scratching the other’s back as he was bitten on the neck. “So…you the finish line of the bet is close, right?” Yoochun whispered huskily in Junsu’s ear. “Yeah! I’ll win. Hyukjae isn’t far from begging me on all fours. I thought his weird boyfriend would be a bother, but he didn’t do anything.” came the other’s reply. “Hmmm. So it wasn’t that hard to make him fall for you again, right? Now all you’ve got to do is sleep with him and the bet will be complete. Although, you know I don’t really like other guys laying their filthy hands on you.” Yoochun growled. “Chunnie, I’ll never go back to him. I left him six years ago for you. What’s going to make me go back to him now?” Junsu assured his lover. “Was it hot to cheat on him?” the older chuckled and the other nodded.

           The one standing by the door couldn’t take it anymore. He turned around and left, not looking back even once. “I hate you.” Eunhyuk muttered, vision blurred by the tears that were flowing freely down his cheeks. He heard steps behind him. “Hyukkie! What are you doing here?” Junsu asked trying to smile. The said one turned around and looked into the younger’s eyes “Liar…I know you’ve cheated on me, but I’ve never thought I’ll ever hear it from your own ty mouth.”. “Eunhyuk-ah, I’ve changed. I swear! I came back because I want to be with you!” Junsu said taking the other’s hand in his. “Yeah, right. Do you even hear yourself? You’re hoping that I’d fall for that after I’ve seen you with Yoochun? I love Donghae too much to ever leave him.” Eunhyuk yelled brushing the younger’s hand off. “There’s no need for you to leave him, he’s the one that has already left you.” Junsu said smirking. The older punched him, taking the smirk off his face.

           Eunhyuk turned around to leave, not even looking back at the boy that was still on the cold ground “For nothing you say that you’ve changed. Not even you believe what you’re saying anymore. Bastard…”. With those last words he walked away sighing and thinking about his lost love. “Hae…” he whispered looking up at the sky. “I hope you haven’t left yet.” he said dialing a number. “Hello? Ms. Lee? I’m Eunhyuk. Is Donghae at home?” he asked and was surprised when he heard sobs coming from the other side and a muffled voice “Donghae has just left. He said that there’s no reason for him to wait. He must be at the airport.”. Eunhyuk froze on the spot and ended the conversation without saying anything else to Donghae’s mom. He waved for a cab and quickly got in when the driver stopped. “To the airport.” he said breathing unsteadily. For the first time in his life, he was worried sick. He had to admit that Donghae was everything for him. His parents left the country when he turned eighteen and the reason of his stay was none other than Donghae. He prayed that even if he hurt the other, there was still something left in him that wanted to remain here, to forgive him and get back together.

           He got out of the car, paying the driver and then heading inside the airport. He looked up at the board and he felt his heart sink. The plane for New York had already left. “No…” he whispered tears sliding down his pale face. He fell to his knees ignoring the looks he received from passer-bys. “Eunhyuk? Is that really you?” he heard a voice coming from behind. He got up and turned around. “Sungmin-ah, what are you doing here?” he asked wiping the tears off. “I came to bring Donghae and say goodbye. I’m sorry. He told me what happened.” the older replied. “I can’t live without him, hyung. I was confused and messed up because Junsu came in the picture and…I just don’t want to lose him. I love him too much.” Eunhyuk cried out. Sungmin hugged him and sighed “I know, Hyuk, but Donghae doesn’t. He was sad and kept looking around hoping that you’ll come. It was like something was controlling his body and forcing him to move forward and his heart didn’t want to.”. “Do you know if he will ever come back?” the younger questioned trying to fake a smile. “Well, he’ll finish his studies in two more years so I guess there are two options: he’ll come back then or never.”

***

           “Whoa! It’s really him!” “He looks so hot!” “Do you think he’ll give us an autograph?” some fans wondered when he went outside the airport. He fished out his phone and dialed a number he knew by heart “Hey, hyung! I’m back.”. “Donghaeeeee~~!!!” Sungmin screamed from the other side of the line. Donghae took the phone away from his ear to protect his precious brain. “How have you been? Can you pick me up?” he asked smiling. “Yes!” the older shouted again and Donghae heard a beeping sound. “H-He hung up.” he whispered.

           Sungmin arrived in a few minutes. He jumped out of the car and hugged Donghae “It’s been three long years. I swear I’ll beat your when we get home! Do you know how hard it was to take care of both Eunhyuk and Kyuhyun?!”. The younger smiled bitterly “Why would you have to take care of Eunhyuk? Isn’t Junsu supposed to do that?”. Sungmin wacked his head “You’re stupid, both of you. Get in!”. Donghae listened to his hyung and entered the car, soon followed by the latter. Sungmin started the engine and then sighed getting in the never-ending traffic. “Has Hyukkie ever told you his story?” he asked startling Donghae, who shook his head. “Well, it isn’t all candies and rainbows as you think. He had liked Junsu since kindergarten and in highschool they got together. They were a couple for a year, but for half of it, Junsu cheated on him with some Yoochun guy. Eunhyuk didn’t know a thing about it and after his sixteenth birthday, Junsu broke up with him. The anchovy was devastated so he stopped going out and studied day and night. He met you when he was seventeen, right?” Sungmin stopped the story and asked Donghae. “Yeah.” it came his reply. “Well, soon after that you got together. When he turned eighteen, his parents decided that it would be better for him to study abroad. He declined their offer, so in the end they left the country, leaving him here all alone. You were the reason of his stay. However when Junsu came into the picture again, Eunhyuk was madly and deeply in love with you and even if you don’t know, Eunhyuk refused to have with him when Junsu had asked him. He came to your house that day when you broke up with him because he wanted to apologise and take the relationship to the next stage. Two days after that he went to Junsu’s house and he found him with Yoochun, talking about a bet which included him too. That day at the airport, he came. He searched for you and cried. It took me three months and a half to get him out of that mood.”.

           Donghae sighed bitting his lower lip “What is he doing now?”. “He’s running a dance studio. I don’t know why he did it. He got lots of offers from different companies and even SME, but he turned them down and continued to ran that studio. He’s there day and night, doing choreographies and teaching kids all over the country how to dance.”. The younger smiled thinking about their promise.

           “Eunhyuk-ah! I can’t wait for us to grow up!” nineteen-year-old Donghae said hugging his boyfriend from behind. “And why is that?” the other asked chuckling. “When we graduate, I want to open a dance studio. Will you help me?” he proposed smiling sheepishly. “Only if you let me to be the main teacher.” Eunhyuk teased. “But…But I want to be a main teacher too!” the younger whined. “What can I do to be one too?” Donghae questioned batting his eyelashes and putting his puppy eyes at work. “Well, I could think of something, but this is bad.” the older replied. “Why?” came the other’s response. “All the methods I can think of, involves both of us . I’m not so sure that you’d like that” Eunhyuk teased again. “If it is with you, how could I not like it?” Donghae asked letting the other give him a piggyback ride.

           “Take me to the studio.” Donghae told Sungmin. The older smiled knowingly and accelerated.

***

           “And one, two, three, four, five…” Eunhyuk counted showing off some new dance moves to those in the room. “You’re doing well, Kyu!” he teased the younger. “I don’t even know why I’m doing this.” the said boy grumbled. “Because you love Sungmin who loves me.” the older answered him stucking his tongue out. “Speaking of the wolf…Where is he?” Kyuhyun wondered out loud. “I don’t know. He said he’s going to meet someone.” Eunhyuk shrugged. “So-So-Someone?!” the younger yelled jumping from his place. The other chuckled waving goodbye to his students “Don’t worry. He said it’s just an old friend.”. “Like Junsu hyung was to you?” Kyuhyun replied mockingly. “Yah! Cho Kyuhyun! Do you wanna die?!” the older shouted chasing the other around the empty room. When he caught him, they both fell on the ground, laughing and fighting for control.

           “Hey, guys! We’re ba-…Lee Hyukjae! What the hell are you doing to my Kyu?!” Sungmin screamed glaring at the two dangerously. “But-But…he started it! He mentioned…” Eunhyuk said, but the words caught in his throat when he saw Donghae chuckling at the door. “Donghae…” he whispered getting up. Sungmin smiled and helped Kyuhyun up, then pushed him outside the room. He locked the other two inside and shouted from behind the door “I won’t let you out until I hear moans and you screaming each other’s names!”.

           “I guess some things never change…” Donghae said scratching the back of his head sheepishly. “Sungmin told me everything. I…” the younger started, but a pair of lips stopped him from speaking. Eunhyuk’s hands were around his waist, dragging him closer, while his tongue Donghae’s bottom lip. The other willingly opened his mouth and soon their tongues were fighting for control. Donghae’s hands were fisted in Eunhyuk’s silky hair. They broke apart for air, after a few muffled moans and chuckles. They stood like that with their foreheads brushing against each other and bodies flushed together. “I missed you too…” Donghae whispered and then continued “I must be stupid to say “Yes!” to you again, but I’m willing to take that risk. I know the truth and also that I was right about you and about trusting you.”. Eunhyuk bit his lip to hold back the tears “I love you, Donghae. I love you with all my heart and I wish we’ll never have to be separated ever again. You are my reason for living and I swear I would’ve died and considered this life worthless because I couldn’t get enough of you and because I was stupid enough to let you go. I love you and I love you and I love you and I’m going to listen to what someone told me on the day you left, that I should treasure you the most and never make you cry. You were next to me through all the rough things I had to deal with and never questioned me. I love you and only you.”. By the end of the speech, tears of joy were sliding down the boys’ cheeks.

           Donghae kissed Eunhyuk again before confessing too “I love you too and all this time while I was in NY, I couldn’t think of anyone else. You’re the best thing that has ever happened in my entire life. I love you, baby. Do you want to be my boyfriend…again?”. Eunhyuk nodded and they hugged tightly. They heard the door open, but they didn’t care enough to break apart. “Finally! I’ve waited for this since the end of highschool.” Sungmin said clapping. “For what, hyung?” Kyuhyun asked unsure. “To take the second picture with my pink camera!”. They all looked at him shocked “You mean…?” the other three started. “Yeah, since I took that picture of you at the end of highschool, I haven’t used this camera even once.” Sungmin said chuckling. “Now…I should go and tell everyone that you two got back together. Hmmm. Where did I put Junsu’s number?” the oldest between the four teased. “NO!!!” Donghae yelled. Kyuhyun smirked “Why, hyung? Are you jealous?”.