I immediately ran outside our house, crying.

This can’t be! I remembered the good things I’ve done; I’ve helped others, gave them courage to live, to continue living, to not give up on the trials in their lives but now, what’s happening?

I thought that facing problems would be easy if you’re with Him, if you have faith in Him. That’s what I thought but after what happened, it became difficult. It’s not easy. It would never be easy.

I suddenly stopped when I heard loud screech of car behind me. I turned my gaze there but I could not see the whole thing. I wiped my tears off my face using the back of my palm, and there, I saw a cat being hit by the car, lifeless, just like what I saw earlier. My mom lying on the floor, like the innocent cat, lifeless.

I continued running until I reached the end of the cliff, I sat on one of the big rocks there. I buried my face in my knees and bursted out a loud mourn.

How would I survive if I don’t have someone who will guide me? A scene suddenly popped in my mind, my Mom, smiling. She told me before that every problems have their own solutions, but if there’s a solution in my problem, would her life be spared?

No! Sorry, Mom, I want to be with you. I’ve no one to hold on here.

I stood up and looked up to the sky for me to avoid my tears from falling. I closed my eyes, it didn’t help and it didn’t stop my tears.

I took some steps closer to the end of the cliff.

I hope that I can now be with my Mom. I closed my eyes before jumping.