The screaming of the fans echoes in their ears. They bow one last time, and go back to their dressing room. The staff and the members congratulate mutually for their good job, then they’re promptly led back to their van before a crowd of fans come. Yongguk and Jongup sit in the back, as usual. The car starts and drives out of the parking in the direction of the hotel. Quickly, Daehyun and Youngjae stop their bickering and close their eyes, they need to rest if they want to stay awake tomorrow. The others are quiet; they have neither the strength nor the want to talk. Only Yongguk and Jongup make use of this rare moment of free time to retreat themselves into their bubble. The others says nothing, they’re used to it, and can just sigh sadly while listening to their two friends.

“I get off school and go buy myself a drink to the combini down the block, when I see a new store. As I move closer I see that it is actually a music shop. I never saw one before and I’m curious to see what it looks like, so I come in.”

Jongup lays his head on Yongguk’s shoulder and the two close their eyes, trying to picture the scene.

“I hear the door opening and turn around, surprised that there is already customers when the shop just opened today. This is starting quite well. I leave the box I was unpacking to welcome you and I wasn’t expecting someone this young. Usually, people your age download their music and are most likely to waste their money at the arcade than in albums. It’s from this moment I started to get intrigued by you.”

“I wander in your shop while you keep settling down, and I start asking you questions, firstly about your shop, then about you.”

”I find you far too curious, but I don’t tell you, I wouldn’t want to cause bad publicity to the shop at its opening. So I keep answering your questions, without going in too much detail, and I try to show you by my facial expressions that your questions make me uncomfortable. But you don’t seem to understand, because you keep going.”

Jongup raise his head to look at his leader.

“It doesn’t work, I wouldn’t have done this. I would have understood your discomfort and stopped asking you questions.”

Yongguk laughs softly and nods, Jongup is right. He wouldn’t have acted like this.

“Okay, so you understand that your questions are making me uncomfortable, so you stop.  You carry on wandering around the shop while looking at the posters on the wall. I’m watching you while storing the albums, intrigued. Then I ask you if you’re looking for something, a thing I should have asked you since the beginning, as a good seller.”

“I answer that I’m not looking for anything in particular, and that I just came to visit since I was curious. You look strangely at me then smile.”

“I’m not looking strangely at you, I’m just intrigued. I smile to you and keep tidying up, acting as you are not here. About half an hour later, you leave, not without greeting me with a wide smile. This smile will stay in my mind all night.”

Jongup scoffs looking at Yongguk, he doesn’t like the turn it takes.

“Isn’t it a little too fast ? Wait a little before going to that, we only just met. I smile to you, and you find my smile really cute at the moment, that’s all. I come back the next day and stay an hour long. There are a few customers, but it doesn’t stop us talking, getting to know each other. You learn that I have always been interested in dancing, and I learn that you have always been interested in music. But I knew that already. Secretly, I admire you a little. I think you’re handsome, funny and smart. I don’t tell you, I don’t see any interest in it. And I’m afraid of your reaction.”

“You start coming every day, after school. You sit next to the cash desk, and we talk. Business is going well even if customers are scarce, they prefer to buy at the online shop. Our discussions, mainly about music, take a different direction, we talk about our lives, of more intimate things. That’s how I learn that you have a boyfriend, a certain Kim Himchan.”

Himchan opens his eyes and he turns to the two dreamers, annoyed.

“Yah, Bang Yongguk ! Don’t bring me in your stories !”

“Hyung ! I told you I didn’t wanted any more sad endings ! I don’t want to be already in a relationship, and even less with Himchan !”

Said Himchan makes a falsely offended face and turns around on his sit, sulking. Jongup quietly laughs at him, then shiver when Yongguk’s fingers interlace with his. It’s the most intimate touch they allow themselves. The van stops, and the half-asleep members slowly get out of the car. Jongup exits last and stretches his numb limbs before hurrying after Yongguk. They enter the hotel and head towards the elevator, too tired to eat. Again, Yongguk and Jongup stand at the rear of the elevator. Yongguk takes Jongup’s hand in his and leans toward his ear.

“Keep going.”

“I tell you that I’ve never had a boyfriend.”

“Strangely, I feel relieved. I end up asking you on a date, a friendly one of course. You accept and suggest we go to the arcade, and it’s where I realize our .”

“Hyung, please… No sad story. I accept and suggest we go to a coffee shop. Even if I hide it well, I’m really happy that you asked me on a date, even if it’s a friendly one. I hoped for more, but I don’t tell you, I don’t want you to know about my feelings for you. At least not right now.”

“Our first date goes very well, so I ask you for a second one, and many others. Little by little, I start looking at you differently, thinking about you differently, and whishing different things. I realize that I fell in love with you.”

The elevator doors open, and as usual, Yongguk follows Jongup to the bedroom he shares with Junhong. Jongup and he are not allowed to share a room, the manager prohibited them. There is only the two of them left in the corridor, so Yongguk take this opportunity to gently shove Jongup against the door. He puts his hands on his cheeks, press his forehead to Jongup’s and closes his eyes.

“I’m not the kind of person to hide or to be afraid of my feelings, so I decide to confess them barely a week later. I’m surprised to find they’re mutual, although I already had doubts. I must say that the way you look at me is not that subtle.”

“Our relation stays the same. I still come to see you after school, and except the few kisses exchanged in the back room, nothing changes. Days and months go by, not our feelings. I graduate from high school, and you ask me to live with you. It’s the best day of my life.”

Yongguk opens his eyes and look at him.

“A bit fast, don’t you think ?”

“I’m tired.”

“Okay, fine.” laughs Yongguk. He takes him in his arms, and lets Jongup put his head against his chest and his arms around his waist.

“So, I’m still running my music shop while you go to college. I come to get you every evening, and we walk home to our small apartment. We make food while talking, then…”

“Guys.” Himchan interrupts them, bursting their bubble. “Go to sleep, it’s late, and we have a busy schedule tomorrow.”

Himchan is right. Jongup and he were carried away by their imagination, and their daydreaming will end up affecting the band. They need to stop this. That too.

Himchan stays in the corridor, waiting for Yongguk and Jongup to wish good night. He’s feeling bad about disturbing them during one of their rare alone time, but he knows that if he lets them by themselves, their goodbyes could last hours. Yongguk finally lets go of Jongup, and lets him enter his room quietly.

The stage is filled with the screaming of the fans, the spotlights dazzle them. The melody fills their ears, Jongup starts singing. Yongguk looks at him from across the stage. He looks happy, he is happy. And Yongguk is too. Yet some things can’t go with other things. Yongguk and Jongup are in love, but they’re in love with the stage too. They had to make a choice, they made it.