Chapter Four

“Are you feeling okay?” Asked Mr Han as he filled his bowl with some well-cooked white Korean rice.

Seungyeon gazed at her empty bowl, visibly daydreaming. Her eyes weren’t blinking, nor was she eating. Seungjin, who sat opposite to Seungyeon, inspected his mannequin-like sister, raising his eyebrow to the point where it reached its highest possible height.

“Seungyeon, Dad asked you a question.”

Again, his words were nothing but a breeze. He tried to snap her out of her thoughts by waving his right hand before her eyes. Alas, Seungyeon blinked thrice and lifted her head up so that her face could now be seen clearly.

“What’s up? You look down,” asked Seungjin.

“Anything bad happened at work?” Mrs Han asked after the brother.

“Nothing really. I’m finished,” said Seungyeon, trying to laminate her emotions.

She stood up, and left the table and departed to her room upstairs. She could hear her mother’s concerned voice, asking what had happened to her precious daughter. Seungyeon was not in physical pain, but her heart was in agony.

She closed the door behind her, and she lied on her soft bed with her head at its end. Her eyes were fixed on the plain coloured ceiling. Thoughts were running through her mind like lightning bolts, and she didn’t know which to catch. Images of Jonghyun appeared in her mind like camera flashes, and his words played like a broken record. Tears were already flowing before she realized she was crying. Why?

The silence in her room was broken by the sound of her cellphone. It was Hara. She stared at the screen for two seconds, one part of her telling her to accept the call while the remaining parts demanded her to ignore it. She threw her cellphone next to her big comfy pillows, and she shut her eyes to reduce the pain she was feeling.

“Hello. You’ve reached Han Seungyeon’s voice mail. Leave a message after the beep. BEEP.”

“Seungyeon, it’s me. Jonghyun told me what happened. There’s really nothing between us. We’re only friends. He helped me when we were younger and so I’m grateful to him for that. Please, don’t be mad at me. Reply my call.”

For a second, Seungyeon wasn’t mad or upset. When last night appeared again in her mind, anger and jealousy took over her. Is Hara really my best friend? Afraid that contemplating would turn things the other way, she positioned herself to sleep.

Seven hours later, her alarm rang. Seungyeon was already wide awake half an hour before she was meant to. Her eyes were tired due to lack of sleep, and of course, due to the amount of tears she had shed the past hours. Birds chirped outside her window, as if they were trying to cheer her up. The sound of spoons and forks clanging each other from the dining room was also one of the reasons why she was up too early. Her hand reached for her phone, which showed she had eleven missed calls and four new kakaotalk messages. They were all from Hara.

“Seungyeon, please don’t ignore my calls.”

“Pick up, please.”

“I know you’re not asleep. Please, I want to talk.”

“I’ll ask Jonghyun to explain everything.”

However, Seungyeon stopped caring as soon as the night went away. Questions like ‘Am I being foolish?’ and ‘Am I the third party?’ appeared to confuse her mind. Jonghyun was probably just looking for excuses to reject her affection, but couldn’t say it in words to make it sound less hurtful. Letting out a sigh, Seungyeon left her cellphone and headed to the bathroom.

Han Seungyeon, cheer up. It’s a brand new day, she thought as she looked at her reflection on the mirror. To freshen herself up, she turned the tap on and splashed cold water onto her face. Just as she was about to enter the shower, there was a light knock on her door.

“Seungyeon, are you awake? Your friend’s here,” said Mrs Han with her motherly voice from the other side of the door.

“I’ll be out in a minute,” exclaimed Seungyeon.

Who would come here at this hour, Seungyeon asked herself. Moreover, who would even come to see her. Without further ado, she stepped into the shower and took a short hot bath. A little bit over ten minutes later, she was ready to go. She was determined to forget about last night, and be colleagues with Jonghyun and no more than that. They were put together as partners anyway, so wouldn’t it be chaotic not to be able to work as a team?

“Good morning,” said a sweet and feminine yet familiar voice as Seungyeon stepped out of her bedroom.

Casually, Seungyeon looked to see who it was greeting her with full enthusiasm. That girl was no other than her best friend, Goo Hara. Hara wore a pretty smile, one which exposed her worry that her best friend might still be upset with her.

“Why are you here?” Said Seungyeon in a we-don’t-have-anything-to-talk-about manner.

“Let’s head to work together!”

Mrs Han interrupted, “I heard from Hara that the two of you had a minor misunderstanding. Seungyeon, be nice.”

Seungyeon and Hara became alone as they left the huge mansion belonged to the Han family. Silence reigned for a few minutes they started walking, until Hara decided to accept the challenge.

“Seungyeon, I think we have a misunderstanding between us.”

“About last night? You don’t have to explain. Jonghyun told me everything. About you and him.”

“And I’m guessing his explanation isn’t good enough?”

Before Seungyeon could answer Hara’s correct guess, Hara’s phone rang. She answered the call without looking at the caller’s ID. She seemed to be having a personal conversation over the phone, leaving Seungyeon slightly awkward. To Seungyeon, Hara was her best friend. A best friend who cared about her feelings, but never shared secrets between them.

“I need to go now. I’ll leave you two to talk,” said Hara, smiling at Seungyeon right after her statement.

“Two? What are you talking about?” Asked the puzzled Seungyeon, but Hara was long gone.

She shook her head lightly to imply Hara’s sloppiness. She could sense a tall figure just a few metres away from where she stood. Simultaneously, she turned to that direction, and to her surprise she saw the last person she wanted to see. Jonghyun stood before her, in his best suit by far. His hair however, was styled with too much gel, as if he wanted to experiment it. In his hand was a banquet of red roses, seemingly fresh. As expected, he made the first move by walking towards Seungyeon slowly, trying not to scare her like a scarecrow.

Now, the distance between them was just merely a metre apart. Both of them stared at each other’s eyes like they had telepathic powers.

“What are you doing here?” Asked Seungyeon, surprised at his presence.

“I came to apologize,” said Jonghyun as he gave Seungyeon the red roses.

Seungyeon willingly accepted the banquet of flowers, showing that she had accepted his apology and that she still cared. She held the roses closer, letting the sweet smell diffuse into her lungs. As she opened her eyes and returned to reality from the short-timed paradise, Jonghyun smiled at her, melting her heart instantly.

“Let’s talk as we walk, shall we?” Suggested Jonghyun.

The two of them headed to work together, accompanied by an unusual awkward atmosphere. The company was fifteen minutes away, so they had plenty of time to talk. To hide her awkwardness, she only had her eyes on the beautiful red roses she received a while ago. Therefore, the man had to come up with something to break the silence.

“Did you sleep well last night?” Asked Jonghyun, unable to think of other ways to start a conversation without feeling uncomfortable.

“I did,” Seungyeon lied.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you by saying those words last night.”

“But you already did,” said Seungyeon without thinking twice.

The duo stopped their steps, making the situation even more difficult to deal with. Jonghyun appeared to be stressed over this matter, and after a three-second pause, he decided to come clean with Seungyeon.

“I lost someone really important to me a few years ago,” said Jonghyun, stirring shock in Seungyeon’s eyes.

“Who... who was it?” Seungyeon asked in a really soft voice.

“She was someone special, at least to me. We met in high school, and immediately we knew we were made for each other.”

Jonghyun hesitated after that. He seemed unsure whether to continue the conversation because it was hurting him, stabbing him right at the heart. Tears gathered in his eyes, turning them red and painful. He tried to hide them by lowering his head, but Seungyeon noticed his pain. She knew he could never say out whatever happened to his girlfriend, because the past would haunt him again. She closed up the distance between them, leaving a gap of an inch. Her hand reached for his back, softly caressing it to make him feel better. She knew the best thing to do was to keep silent, and staying by his side was one way of comforting him.

He let a few seconds pass before surrendering himself to the pain which was eating him alive inside. Tears ran as fast as they could down his cheeks, and he started to sob. His hands covered his face, and his unexpected little scream startled Seungyeon. Unable to handle it any longer, he pulled her into his arms and hugged her tightly. She was surprised, yet she understood. Whatever happened to that girl was torturing the guy that she loved, and it felt as if she could feel the torment too. She embraced him, hoping to bring him warmth and security.

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Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. The ticking sound of the clock on the wall excited everyone in the classroom. Ten seconds to lunch break. When the secondhand finally pointed at twelve, everyone started packing their belongings even before the teacher asked them to. On the other hand, Seyeon hadn’t moved a bit from her sitting position. She was still jotting down the teacher’s lecture.

“Are you ready to leave?” Asked Jiyoung eagerly.

“Just a second. I need to write this down,” said Seyeon, still concentrating in the lesson while everyone else was only focusing on the exit.

“You all may leave now.”

In a flash, the classroom became almost empty with only Jiyoung and Seyeon in it. Seyeon only started packing after she made sure she had everything she needed to know. Meanwhile, Jiyoung was texting on her phone, apparently enough to make her smile widely.

“Who’s confessing to you?” Asked Seyeon jokily as she shoved her notebooks into her bag.

“It’s Kyungsoo. He’s my band mate,” said the smiling Jiyoung without looking at Seyeon, proving her incapability in multi-tasking.

“Who’s that?”

“My band mate in MTO Note. The acronym for ‘More Than One Note’. We came up with the name. Cool, isn’t it?”

“It does sound unique. Did Hyeongkon go for the tryouts?”

Jiyoung nodded, “Yeah.”

“Jongsuk and I joked about his incompetence,” said Seyeon with the girliest laugh at the end.

“I really dislike his attitude though. It’s not like being proud brings you attention,” said Jiyoung with a pout.

Seyeon looked at her and smiled at her youth. The both of them proceeded to the cafeteria to have lunch together. Surprisingly, the queue wasn’t as long as it usually was. Jiyoung was still on her phone, presumably texting her boyfriend. Seyeon, on the other hand, was deeply immersed in her thoughts.

“What’s on your mind?” Asked Jiyoung finally with her head up.

“Nothing really,” denied Seyeon with a plastic laugh.

“Are you sure? People say I have good ears you know,” said Jiyoung, attempting to make a joke to make her new friend feel better.

Seyeon only gave Jiyoung a responsive smile at her failed joke. The duo chose a table where they could sit and talk all they want. Lunch break wasn’t going to be over until an hour later, so they would spend their time together to get to know each other better. Not long after they had just settled down on a table, another person decided to join the two of them.

“Do you guys mind if I sit here?”

“No, not at all!”

It was Jongsuk, the guy turned into an overnight sensation when he attended school on the first day. The girls would still get all hyped up when they saw his handsome face around. The fact that he didn’t sit with the other popular kids surprised Jiyoung and Seyeon.

“I thought you’d go for the popular ones,” said Seyeon as-a-matter-of-factly.

“I prefer to sit with the humble ones,” said Jongsuk with a sharp smile at the edge of his lips.

The two shared an electrified three-second stare. Jiyoung glanced at the both of them back and forth, noticing their apparent chemistry. She chuckled quietly, but was loud enough to break the focus in the two pairs of eyes. Before any of them could talk, a chair next to Jongsuk was pulled out and another charming person sat down. This person had big dreamy eyes, slightly pointy nose, and perfect lips like Jongsuk. He looked into Jiyoung’s eyes so eerily like she had just committed an unforgivable sin.

“Jiyoung, I need to tell you something.”

“You can tell me now,” said Jiyoung as she munched down an enormous cookie.

“Listen, we need to talk,” he said with a huge emphasis on every word.

Jiyoung felt a shiver crawling up her spine. She never saw Kyungsoo so serious and stern in the lifetime she knew him. The way he spoke of things was very unusual, and whatever happened was bugging him inside.

“Ah - alright. Sorry I have to leave the two of you,” said Jiyoung as she stood up, trying to catch up with Kyungsoo.

“See you later,” said Seyeon.

Seyeon and Jongsuk eyed the other two as they left in a hurry. Awkward dominated the atmosphere once again, with the both of them only looking down at what was on their plates. Jongsuk unexpectedly gave out a rather loud sigh to show his exasperation.

“I’m going back to the States tomorrow evening,” said Jongsuk, still with his head down.

“What?” Seyeon couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

“I wish I could tell you more but it’s a family issue. I’ve got my leaving certificate and flight booked.” Jongsuk seemed very regretful.

He accumulated his courage to lift his head up, and looked at Seyeon, who seemed unhappy as soon as she heard the news. Her food was untouched; her hands seemed to have frozen as they were just about to pick up the spoon and fork.

“I wish I could know more about you.”

“Do you want to spend some time after this?” Seyeon asked with a genuine weak smile.

“I would love to.”

It was as if time had stopped forever. The two new students strode around their new school with a complete strange feeling. One was leaving so suddenly, and the option of getting to know each other better was off. Seyeon, knowing Jongsuk wanted to know more about her, decided to say something she never told anyone else.

“I lost my parents in an accident when I was six.”

“I’m sorry for your loss,” said Jongsuk sympathetically.

“I never told anyone about it because whenever I think of it, I get really moody and upset I might even blow up the whole world.”

Seyeon added, “I was at the scene when it happened.”

“It must have been hard on you,” the understanding exchange student said.

She stopped walking and just stood there. She looked up at the bright clear sky, somehow it was giving her a hard time to think. She tried to speak her thoughts out, but they got stuck in . Her eyes were slowly tearing up, not giving her a chance to rebel.

“They were arguing. It was a heated argument. My dad was on the steering, and I don’t remember what happened after that. The next second I was on a hospital bed, and I couldn’t speak.”

She covered her eyes to hide the tears that were flowing down her cheeks. It was like a video being played over and over again, slowly breaking her heart into two, no, millions. Jongsuk leaned in to lend her his shoulders, because he knew she needed someone. He wrapped her in his arms, softly tapping her on the back to assure her.

“It’s okay. Cry all you want. It will make you feel better,” he hushed.

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Night fell. The eerie sounds of wild animals were chanting, and the roads were only illuminated by streetlights. The stars were dazzling tonight; and there were many of them. The fresh smell of green grass occupied the air; as if the toxic gases had all been washed out. Two dark figures lied on the dry grassy field, apparently stargazing.

“How did you handle that?” Seyeon asked in a quiet tone.

“It was really hard. I thought life was really unfair then. I was a really bad kid back then. I wish I was better.”

“I’m sure she doesn’t blame you. Look at you now.”

Jongsuk chuckled at Seyeon’s tiniest wisp of a joke. The two of them were connected after all. He lost his mother to cancer three years ago, and she lost both her parents in an accident she herself was involved in. The pain and guilt were definitely present after everything happened, no matter how long the incidents had been. The wound would never be fully healed.

“Will we ever meet again?” Seyeon asked, hoping for a positive answer. Please, say yes.

“If it was a fairytale, I would say yes. But, the ending will always be an open-ended question.”

“I told you I saw him. I’m not lying!” Gyuri exclaimed to show her innocence.

“You know it’s just an illusion. You’re missing him. Moreover, you were too drunk to notice anything,” said the voice on the phone.

“If it really was my imagination, then how would you explain me getting back home? I heard from Jiyoung you left me alone on the streets,” said Gyuri angrily, as she couldn’t believe what she was saying. How could you leave me out there all by myself when I was only partially conscious?

“I’m sorry, something happened and I had to leave promptly. I’m really sorry.”

Well at least you sound apologetic. “Forget about it.”

“I’ll talk to you later.” Seungho was just about to hang up the phone.

“Wait – thanks for everything you’ve done for me.” Gyuri said through the phone.

“That sounded really cheesy, but I appreciate it.” Said Seungho with a hearty laugh.

The two ended the conversation there. Gyuri had last night on her mind again as soon as the call finished. She was a hundred percent sure Hyunwoo brought her home. Her head was too dizzy to be able to walk home by herself. Her eyes did open quite a few times in between events; she saw someone carried her, and he had similar facial features to her late fiance. Even though the images formed were blurry, she was certain the person who took her home was Hyunwoo.

                                                                                                    -----------------------------------------------------

Here she was again at “Our Shared Paradise”. Gyuri liked the place as it had always given her a warm welcoming feeling, making her one of the regulars nowadays. She would come for her favorite iced coffee, without milk and an extra shot. There was a reason behind her strong coffee scent preference.

[Flashback]

It was a fine Wednesday morning, with little snow and favorable temperature rise as the sun rose. Venice was beautiful, as it usually was. It was the couple’s first trip to the Italian city, and Gyuri’s very first trip out of South Korea. Gyuri was terribly afraid of flights, but since it was their first anniversary of meeting one another, she made the sacrifice to come to the beautiful city with her destined one.

“Since this is our first trip together, shall we go and explore my favorite beverage?” Said Hyunwoo exuberantly as he held her hand and ran towards a café.

“I haven’t even said yes to that!” Exclaimed Gyuri, laughing cheekily at her then boyfriend’s youthful actions.

The café looked extremely antique, yet it had a luxurious atmosphere. Inside it was full of people all around the world, mostly from the Western countries. The arrangements of tables, chairs, portraits of famous people, lights and everything else were perfect.

“Hello there. Can I please get an iced coffee, without milk and an extra shot please?” Hyunwoo asked in Italian. The question made it to the top on his list of to-learn-in-Italian phrases.

As one of the baristas went on to prepare his acclaimed best coffee in the world, Hyunwoo leaned closer to Gyuri, whispering something to her.

“I guess today is the day you’ll know me best.”

PRESENT DAY (2014)

She looked down at her iced coffee, one without milk and an extra shot. I wish you could tell me that again today. Carefully, she raised her cup of coffee, the scent becoming stronger as each microsecond passed. When the edge of the cup reached her red lips, she sipped the coffee little by little, waiting for memories to come back to reality one by one. She shut her eyes to let herself drown in her memories.

“Excuse me, miss. Do you mind if I sit down?” A stranger approached her.

As her mind slowly came back to the present, she reluctantly opened her eyes. A pair of familiar eyes appeared right before her. The nose, the lips, the eyebrows, the cheekbones, everything except the hair were too similar. That smile. How long had she not seen that smile? She didn’t know how to react to what she was witnessing. Her eyes only stared into his, showing extreme confusion and disbelief.

“Hyunwoo?” Gyuri muttered faintly.

“That’s my brother. I’m his twin brother, Kim Hyunjoong.”