I woke up to find the bed is empty. He's not waking me up again.

Do I have to get used to this fact? No more goodnight kiss, no more morning kiss.

Walk to the bathroom and then get dressed while thinking about what should I do now. It feels like I live alone now. But then the image of me living here really alone makes me shivering.

Because of Kim Himchan, now I'm afraid of living alone. But if I have to stay with this new style of Kim Himchan, I don't think I can survive anymore. Oh great. The best way to start your day by thinking about confusing thing. I hate myself.

Walk out to the kitchen and he's nowhere to be seen. Maybe he's already going to the office.

There's simple sandwich for my breakfast. I miss the cheerfull morning when we eat breakfast together while planning a date after work. I miss my boyfriend so bad.

I only spent half day on the studio. I can never work with such a messed up mind.

"Hyung just go home and get some rest will you" Daehyun told me when I made him repeat some part on the recording. It's not his fault, it's just my feeling, I can't get him sing the right part. And he's exhausted now. I understand why he want to kick me out of this place.

"You need to fix everything with him. You're a mess now. Asked him to change or just leave him. That's the best for you, hyung"

"What? Are you nuts? Leaving him?"

"Look at you, hyung! There's no more dandy Yongguk. You wore plain t-shirt for days, you grew that beard and those messy hair. You look ugly, hyung"

"I'm fine, Dae"

"No hyung. stop denying and man up. You can't let him crashed you. Talk to him. Fix everything. If he refuse to trust you anymore, well, sorry to say, hyung. That's the end of every relationship"

Daehyun words lingers on my head. No trust, no relationship. Damn he's right.

And here I am, waiting for him to come home.

The door opens and Himchan jumps back when he saw me.

"Gosh Guk you're scaring me. What are you doing here at this time? Don't you have something to do at the studio?"

"I want to talk with you, Chan"

"Really? About what?" He put his bag, walking to the kitchen to get some water. He's not intersted on this talk i can tell.

"About us"

And he's choking the water.

"What about us?"

"Come here, sit and talk" I pat the chair beside me.

"Listen, Channie. I'm tired"

"I can see. You look like a mess" He said rolling his eyes.

"Is there anything I can do to make you forgive me?" I asked him. He narrowed his eyes.

"Did you do something wrong again?"

"I didn't! But you act like I did something wrong to you, everyday"

"What's the point on forgiving someone that don't even do anything wrong?" he shrugs

"Then please stop acting like this. I had enough of your nagging everyday. I had enough of your tantrum everyday. Seriously, Kim Himchan. Is there anything I can do to stop you ignoring me?"

"I'm not ignoring you"

"Yes you do! You never kiss me anymore. You never wake me up. You left this house without saying goodbye and come home without greeting me. You never call me if I don't call you. You never text me"

"You never call me and you never text me why should i do that" he talk back.

"You're not the same Kim Himchan that I know"

"Then who am i now?" He's frowning.

"And you keep on bringing back that incident"

"It hurt me so bad, you know that Guk?" He's staring at me, showing that he's still feel that way

"Yes I know and I'm sorry. But can't you see the way you act towards me hurt me even more"

"How can I know that you really sorry"

"Don't you trust me, Kim Himchan?!" I said frustrated.

"I..." he opens his eyes, trying to say something but then close it again.

"tell me, Kim Himchan. Do you trust me?"

No answer.

"It won't work, chan. If you can't trust me, we can't work. There's no us without trust, you know that"

His lips twitching. I know he's holding back himself from answering me.

"Please, channie. I trust you with all my heart. Can't you do the same to me? Forget the past and let's move on."

"I'm sorry Guk but it still hurt"

That's the answer that I need. He still can't forgive me, and no trust for me.

"Is that really the answer, Chan?"

I'm staring into his eyes but then he moves his gaze away from me.

"Channie, I'm asking you. Can you trust me?"

still no answer

"I think I get it. I get your answer in your silence. You can't trust me anymore, Channie. No trust, no us. Really Channie? That easy? We've been together for 3 years and all disappear in one day?"

Himchan playing with the fabric on chair's arm.

"I'm leaving, chan. I can't do this anymore. No matter how much I love you, I can't do this anymore"

I get up and walk to the bedroom, taking all my belonging.

I walk to the door, with my bag. Kim Himchan still sitting on his place, not moving.

"You know that I love you, Channie. You know that I always do. But I have to do this. I can't stop myself from missing loving you, even though you're here right beside me. It's not right.

For the last time, I'm asking you, Channie. Can you trust me?"

No words, just tears rolling down his face. And that's it. That's his answer.

I walk closer to him and pulled him into my embrace.

Hug me back, crying out loud. Between the cries I can hear him say.

"I'm sorry Gukkie. I love you, please don't leave me"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE END~

Well, it's kind of short, I know. I should've just made it as one shot.

But anyway. thanks for reading and thank you for the comment <3