April 12, 1997

 

Saturday

 

2:46 PM

 

 

Dear Diary,

 

The trial was pure hell. Screams, cries, curses, and threats filled the whole room. My parents were not present, probably ran away. I had no lawyer. No one to defend me, but myself. But I saw Jungkook, screaming 'Hyung, stop this! You're innocent!' and such things. Seriously God, is this how I die? All the people, including my parents, hating on me? Only a few people behind my back? Is this how I end my life?

 

 

 

I hate my life.

 

 

 

Before the trial, my uncle, who is a Commisioner General, threaten me to falsely admit that I really killed Sehun. If not, he will kill Jungkook and Yookyung. He hit me, slapped me, kicked me, cursed at me. I wish he burn in hell. All he is thinking is the sake of my parents. Add my demonic parents, who killed an innocent person. Who killed Sehun. My life, my love, my...everything. Do they really think sitting on a pew and praising the Lord God can make them a perfect person? It's like sitting on the center of a garage and thinking you're a car.

 

 

 

However, I had my angelic brother, Wangzi. He was all I had. Him, Sehun, his family, Jungkook, and Yookyung.

 

 

 

Before I die, I want to write here what really happened here in my diary.

 

 

 

Whoever is reading this, please, bring justice to me. I want to speak but my mouth is covered by the dirty hands of my parents. I want to act but guilt keeps controlling my body. I am innocent. But I know nobody will listen to the truth.

 

 

 

Well, Sehun and I were lovers. He is an Atheist. A professor at Seoul International University. He's sweet, caring, loving, and kind. But, my parents hated him. I don't really know why. Through him, I met Jungkook and Yookyung. Sehun tutored Jungkook in English. While he tutored Yookyung in Literature.

 

 

 

They were like my children.

 

 

 

The truth is, my parents  really killed Sehun by hanging him in an old warehouse. They used my hair samples on my brush. My parents paid the policemen and my uncle. One word to describe, biased. They didn't listen to me. They said all I was saying are pure false. But in the police station, I saw my parents. Their face describes anger, pity, and sadness combined together. While I was there, crying.

 

 

 

After a few months in the prison, my parents visited me. My father was telling me that I deserve to be in this situation. Mother said it was for the best so they killed him. All they said was pure lies. They should be the one in my situation, suffering. Heck, they didn't even apologized.

 

 

 

May karma strike them. Amen.

 

 

 

Wangzi, Jungkook, and Sehun's family were the only people present in the trial.

 

 

 

The only people behind my back.

 

 

 

While at the cell, I have two fellow inmates. I really want to spend time with them. They are older than me. But we had good times together. Jungsoo hyung and Sooman ahjussi.

 

 

 

Jungsoo hyung, he is mute. I don't know why. We use sign language to converse.

 

 

 

Jungsoo hyung was arrested for robbery. He did it because he had no other choice. He said to me that it is to support his pregnant wife. I don't really remember her name.

 

 

 

He is the kindest hyung I've ever met. He shares his food when I'm hungry. He's humorous. He tells jokes when I'm feeling down. He's just...wonderful.

 

 

 

About Sooman ahjussi, I call him ahjussi because our is big. He is the funniest ahjussi you will ever meet. To keep the mood up in the cell, he sings and dances folk songs. Me and hyung will just laugh. He tells scary stories when it's nighttime. He's very humorous.

 

 

 

He was arrested for abuse and . He said he don't want to talk about it. But Jungsoo hyung said it was because he was drunk and caught his wife with another man. I just ignored it.

 

 

 

Well, enough talking about them. It just bring tears to my eyes.

 

 

 

About Jungkook and Yookyung, they're Sehun's students. I met them because Sehun tutors them in our flat. How did we get a flat? I told my parents I'm okay with myself in a flat. The truth is, we live together and pay the rent together. They love my cooking and my green tea. I teach Jungkook Mandarin Chinese, too.

 

 

 

They are like my children. They were very special to me.

 

 

 

I will miss them, a lot.

 

 

 

Jungkook, he's such a graceful boy. Cheerul, kind, respectful, a perfect son. He respected me.

 

 

 

While Yookyung, even though she's a little bit quiet, you can see that she is a nice girl. Pure, innocent, graceful, and always cheerful. She treated me with full respect.

 

 

 

I wish I can see them. The last time.

 

 

 

Before I...

 

 

 

...die

 

 

 

Wei Wangzi, my younger brother, is diagnosed by leukemia. My parents lend only a little money on his medication, the extra money are for tithes. My parents lend maybe thousands won or yuan on tithing. They said I'm old enough to fully support him. But thank God Sehun existed. He helped me on his medication. He's better now than then.

 

 

 

Of all the family members, including my aunt, uncles, cousins, etc., Wangzi was the only one who accepted me. My uality, Sehun, me, evrything about me, he accepted it. When I'm gone, I want Jungkook's family to take care of him. I don't want him to be a burden of Sehun's family. Besides, Jungkook is an only child.

 

 

 

I will miss Wangzi the most.

 

 

 

I wish I can say 'I love you' to him the last time.

 

 

 

Sehun...

 

 

 

I miss him.

 

 

 

His hugs.

 

 

 

His kiss.

 

 

 

His touch.

 

 

 

His scent.

 

 

 

Everything about him.

 

 

 

He didn't deserve to die.

 

 

 

Sehun was perfect. Wait, no. Beyond perfect. Every person could fall in love immediately witb his smile. In our two years of relationship, he never missed to kiss me and say 'I love you' every single day.

 

 

 

I want hold his hand once more.

 

 

 

I want to kiss his lips once more.

 

 

 

I want to be in his arms once more.

 

 

 

I want to say 'I love you' to him once more.

 

 

 

But too late.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reader, please, I beg you, bring justice to me. My parents paid my uncle. The policemen scared me, hurted me, and threaten me.

 

 

 

I have to go now.

 

 

 

Wondering why I wrote all of this?

 

 

 

This will be my last entry.

 

 

 

I will soon be hanged.

 

 

 

I will soon see Sehun at the afterworld.

 

 

 

Farewell.

 

 

 

                                                                                                           Love,

 

                                                                                                               Wei Luhan