My name is Eleanor Kim; I am seventeen years old,

And now I have to move to South Korea to be with my family in my last days of living,

And for my surprise, just when I was thinking that life is hopeless, my savior came.

 I am originally from America, with an American mother and a Korean father, most of my family is from my father's side, Koreans, and that's why I am moving to South Korea, my mom says it's for my treatment and that fresh air in the country side is better for me, while I think it's for me to spent time with them before I die,

You see, I'm diagnosed with a Stage 4 Thyroid cancer with metastasis forming in my lungs,

For this reason, I must carry an oxygen tank (which I call Steve) and nasal cannels attached to my  wherever I go,

It's not that bad actually, people with my case would do anything to stay alive, while I will do anything to die, painful or not it will end, I prefer to die instead of living in this world, why?

It's not because of my sickness, no, I just had enough of this world, it's miserable, hopeless, and definitely sad,

I've been listening to "evening sky" (my favorite song), over and over again and forgetting everything else, we had just moved in to Korea, both my mom and dad didn't let me help them so I just spent the time in the garden, it was beautiful but something even more beautiful, the woods next to the house, it looked so appealing to get lost in, weird I know but the quietness in it pleases me, it drowns me in a world of my own, but I know if I got lost in there my parents would definitely sent the whole police unit for me . . .

"Honey dinner is ready", my mom yelled from the front door, I took my headphones off and closed the book in my hand, getting up slowly and dragging Steve (my oxygen tank) with me,

All three of us sat at the dinner table, my mom made some of my favorite dishes,

The food isn't the problem, the swallowing is, usually the first bite is easy, you can do it, I tell myself,

The second bits is a little bit harder,

The third bite is bearable,

The fourth is hard,

I try to swallow but my stomach refuses to, threatening of pushing everything out and throwing up is not a pleasant feeling, I put my spoon down and sigh, this is exhausting,

 "Sweetie your father and I have been discussing something", my mom says,

"You haven't been eating well lately and you keep yourself in your room, we think you might need something to cheer you up, you've been a little bit depressed, how about a little change?" my father continues, I stay silent and wait for them to continue,

"We've been searching in the town and we found the perfect thing, a support group! And guess what? Tomorrow is the first meeting, we think you should join", my mother says excited

"You can go tomorrow and see how it is", my father says,

Great, I let out a sight and nod my head; I can bare it for them, just this one time,

 "Alright I'll do", my