Sehun, Luhan knows, is possessive of his planner.

 

Like, weirdly so. He'll ignore people stealing food from his lunch tray, won't even spare them a second glance if they go through his backpack, but come even five feet within his precious planner and suddenly he'd be there, breathing down his victim's neck. It was actually kind of terrifying, which keeps Luhan respectful of that invisible five foot force field despite a nagging curiosity as to what the hell Sehun is hiding in there (it has to be something, right?).

 

Well, the creepiness factor usually keeps him respectfully distant, anyway. And ordinarily it would continue to keep him away, except for the fact that he'd kinda missed what their English teacher had assigned for homework (because of course Sehun is the only one of his friends in his English class. Of ing course).

 

It's not that he dislikes Sehun. It's the opposite, really; he considers the freshman boy to one of his closest friends, despite their . But English was boring and Luhan spaces out a lot and Sehun's too much of a snarky little to actually give him the assignments until the last minute (“You should've been paying attention, hyung,” smug at having one-upped the senior), so having someone like Minseok (who's reliable) or even Yixing (who seems to hear everything despite looking half asleep all the time) in his class would have been nice. But he'd been unlucky, and so he's stuck with Sehun and only Sehun in his English class.

 

And this is how Luhan finds himself “going to the bathroom” during calculus, when he knows Sehun is in gym class. He'll admit that going through his friend's locker was sketchy as , but hey, desperate times call for desperate measures, and this is the only surefire way Sehun won't catch him snooping.

 

He walks slowly, scanning the lockers until he spots Sehun's. He'd been right to count on the combination lock not being shut (Jongin had been scolding Sehun for it during lunch one day. Sehun had just shrugged it off. “I never remember the combo. Besides, it just being there is a deterrent, so whatever”), and he slides it out of the handle and popped the locker open, pulling out Sehun's backpack to rifle through for his planner.

 

It's tucked in between a notebook and a calculator, and Luhan quickly finds the entry for the day's assignment, snapping a picture of it with his phone for later use. He glances around as he slides his phone back into his pocket, and when he's fully sure that no, Sehun doesn't somehow have magical teleportation abilities, he grins mischievously and turns back to the planner.

 

“Let's see what you're hiding, Sehunnie,” he murmurs, chuckling lightly.

 

Halfway through, he's a little bit disappointed to find that he hasn't found anything of interest. Three-quarters, through, though, he raises an eyebrow. “Huh. Didn't realize he could draw.”

 

Because he can, and quite well, too – the pages are filled with fairly realistic sketches of Sehun's friends, Luhan included. Pictures of Joonmyeon smiling, Tao doing wushu, Jongin doing ballet, Luhan asleep with his head on a desk. He snorts. Is that really his best moment? He pouts a little as he turns to the next page, and then grins. Him playing soccer? A much better choice.

 

But that grin gradually gives way to a look of mild bewilderment as he continues through the planner because while Jongin and Tao have had maybe five or six pages apiece and Joonmyeon maybe three, Luhan's counted himself a good nine times. And when he reaches the next page, he draws a shaky breath because his name is there, and written in Chinese (albeit badly), which is weird enough. He vaguely wonders if Tao taught him how to write it, but he's honestly more concerned about what's next to it.

 

There's a tiny heart after it. It's cutesy. Oh Sehun does not do cutesy, not unless there's something he wants. And there's no way writing a cute little heart after Luhan's name in a planner he guarded ferociously could get him anything he wanted. So there was really no reason for him to draw one, was there?

 

That is, unless he wanted Luhan. Which, honestly, it was really starting to look like he did.

 

“. .” He swears, flustered. He shuts the planner and shoves it back into Sehun's backpack before shutting the locker door with, in his panic, a little too much force. It clangs shut loudly, and Luhan clicks the combination lock back into place. “.”

 

Luhan hurries out of the locker room and into the hall, glancing back behind him every few seconds, just to be sure that Sehun's not there, that he didn't see Luhan find him out. But even when he slides back into his the safety of his classroom, he can't shake what he saw from his mind, no matter how hard he tries (and oh, he does try).

 

But he's eventually forced to surrender to seriously considering Sehun, and not just as a friend.

 

Sehun's kind of awkward, and a huge brat, but, Luhan realizes with a groan, he's a very good-looking brat. The younger boy is taller than him, with nice features, and still manages to look good no matter how bad whatever his current hairstyle is (and he's had some truly awful ones). And honestly, he has good points besides his looks as well. He's surprisingly sweet, and he's funny, too, and -

 

And Luhan is absolutely not going to go down this road. Not with Sehun, who's three years younger than him. Whose voice still cracks when he talks sometimes. Absolutely not, he tells himself stubbornly. Definitely ing not.

 

He glances up as he slides his phone out from the pocket and under his desk. He needs to burn this off somehow.

 

Luhan

hey baozi u free after school today?

Sent: 3:32 p.m.

 

Minseok

Not until you stop calling me 'Baozi.'

Received: 3:34 p.m.

 

Luhan

then stop looking like oneeee :'-(

Sent: 3:34 p.m.

 

Minseok

Oh look! Suddenly my schedule's full with, let's see... not spending time with you! Amazing how that happens!

Received: 3:36 p.m.

 

Luhan

minseok

minseok no don't do this to me pls

Sent: 3:37 p.m.

 

Luhan

i really need to distress

*destress w/e

Sent: 3:37 p.m.

 

Minseok

Dude, we have practice tomorrow. You can't wait?

Received: 3:38 p.m.

 

Luhan

it's importaaaaaant :-(

Sent: 3:38 p.m.

 

Minseok

Fine, fine. Meet me at the park after school.

Received: 3:40 p.m.

 

Luhan

why not the field?

Sent: 3:41 p.m.

 

Minseok

Football has the field on Wednesday, remember?

Received: 3:43 p.m.

 

Luhan

oh, right. park it is. thanks man ur my savior :'-)

Sent: 3:43 p.m.

 

Minseok

Yeah I know :'-)

Received: 3:44 p.m.

 

“Conceited little ,” Luhan chuckles under his breath, but inwardly, he feels relieved.

 

Minseok really is reliable.

 

 

“So,” Luhan begins, watching Minseok bounce a soccer ball back and forth from knee to knee, “apparently Sehun is into guys.”

 

“Yeah?” Minseok replies (halfheartedly, Luhan notes with mild offense), eyes focused on the ball.

 

Luhan grabs it away from him, and Minseok lets out a wail. “Dude! Not cool!”

 

“Yeah, yeah, okay.” Luhan rolls his eyes, then puts the ball down and sits on top of it. “But Sehun is into guys.”

 

“Yeah, Luhan,” Minseok retorts, “He's bi. Everybody knows that. He hasn't exactly made it a secret.”

 

“Wait, what?!” Luhan loses his balance for a moment, almost slipping off the ball. “Since when?!”

 

“Since, like...” Minseok purses his lips in thought. “February? Yeah, February. There was like this one week where he and Jongin were dating?”

 

“Him and Jongin?!”

 

“Yeah, they like made out at the lunch table.” Minseok snickers. “It was nasty. Don't you remember that?”

 

“Uh, no?!”

 

“Wait...” Minseok narrows his eyes in thought, then laughs loudly. “That's right! You,” he jabs a finger at Luhan, “Were in lunch detention that day. For being late to lit for like, the millionth time.”

 

Luhan just stares at him, mouth agape. “Why didn't anyone tell me about this?!”

 

Minseok shrugs. “I thought somebody else would have. Sorry, man.” He kicks the ball out from under Luhan, who falls to the ground with the yelp. “Anyway, yeah, Sehun is into guys,” he continues, kicking the ball back up into the air. “Why the hell does that bother you, of all people? You're like twice as gay as he is, at least.”

 

Luhan huffs at him in return. “Well, it's not the fact that he's into guys, it's more like... I think he's into me.”

 

The ball drops to the ground as Minseok stares at him in disbelief. “Seriously?”

 

“Yeah.”

“How do you know?”

 

“You know how I don't pay attention in English?”

 

Minseok snorts. “You mean how you sleep through it? Yeah, I've heard.” Luhan throws him a dirty look, but rolls his eyes (for the second time today, he realizes) and continues anyway.

 

“And that Sehun is a little about giving me the assignments when I miss them?”

 

“Yeah,” Minseok chortles. Luhan kicks him in the shin. “Ow!”

 

“You know how Sehun never lets anyone read his planner?”

 

“He's let Jongin and Tao look at it before,” Minseok argues. Then, after a moment's pause, “Wait. Luhan, you didn't!”

 

“I did,” Luhan confirms.

 

“When?!”

 

“I ditched calc for a bit since he has gym at the same time, you know? Like he's always there whenever you get near but I thought, oh, he's gonna be too busy running laps to stop me and I was right he didn't show up but he had all these drawing in his planner and sure he had some of other people too but most of them were of me and-”

 

“Dude,” Minseok interrupts him, “You're babbling. Chill out. It's just Sehun. If he hasn't done anything about it yet, he probably never will. Just try not to think about it.”

 

“Right,” Luhan nods, gulping. “Just Sehun.”

 

Just Sehun. Just his best friend. Who just so happens to have a crush on him.

 

Somehow, Luhan doesn't exactly feel comforted.

 

 

He's half tempted to skip English and take a (very) early lunch, but Minseok's right, he does sleep in that class a lot, and if he's being perfectly honest with himself, it'd probably endanger his grade if he skipped right now. But he still stalls for a few minutes by going to the bathroom (he doesn't need to) and getting water (he's not thirsty) before walking into class.

 

He slides into the seat next to Sehun, murmuring a “hi” as he pulls out his homework and drops it on his desk. Sehun stares at him, eyebrows raised, mouth in an 'o.'

 

“Luhan,” he drawls mockingly, “I'm amazed! I thought for sure you wouldn't have that done, considering you slept through the entire second half of class!”

 

Luhan draws back in a huff, momentarily forgetting his newfound aversion to Sehun. “I was not asleep!” he objects. “I was just... resting my eyes!”

 

A smile plays at the corners of Sehun's lips. “You snore when you're 'resting your eyes?' That's one for the books.” He accepts the pile of homework from the person on his left, adding his homework, then holds out to Luhan.

 

Luhan snatches it out of his hands with a scoff before placing his own version of the assignment on top and passing it down the line. “Okay, fine, but I wasn't asleep while he was actually giving the assignment. Gotta be ready for lunch, you know.” He adds delicately.

 

Sehun snickers. “Yeah, yeah. Hey, can I borrow some lead? I'm out.” He waves his mechanical pencil in front of Luhan's face.

 

Luhan rolls his eyes. “Sure, go for it,” he says, moving to search his backpack, but Sehun's already reaching across him to grab it himself.

 

Suddenly, with Sehun way too far into his personal space, Luhan's reminded of why he was so reluctant to come to class.

 

Sehun pulls back, lead in hand, and grins at Luhan. “Thanks!”

 

“Yeah,” Luhan manages, “No problem.”

 

For once it's actually a relief when their teacher begins his lecture, and for once Luhan actually does his best to focus, but he's hyperaware of Sehun next to him, and his attention is jerked away from the lecture every time Sehun as much shifts his knee.

 

It's a relief when the bell finally rings. English has never lasted so long.

 

Well, he thinks to himself, at least he heard what the homework was this time. That's one less thing he has to talk to Sehun about.

 

“Luhan, you're eating lunch with Jongin and I today, right?” Sehun's voice snaps Luhan out of his thoughts.

 

“Uh, yeah, sure,” he agrees weakly. He doesn't really want to spend any more time with Sehun than he has to, but avoiding him over this would be a little obvious and very mean. Then, after a beat, a thought occurs to him. A possible out. He narrows his eyes. “Wait. Is Tao going to be there too?”

 

Sehun lets out a weak laugh. “Well, um... yes?”

 

Thank God.

 

“Then I take it back,” Luhan declares. “I'm going to eat with Minseok instead. Minseok,” he sniffs in distaste, “doesn't look like a second away from murdering everyone in his path.”

 

Sehun rolls his eyes in return. “You've never spoken with Tao for more than like, ten seconds have you?”

 

“Nope, and I never will if I can avoid it. Bye bye, Sehunnie~” Luhan waggles his fingers at his friend with a grin before walking out of the room.

 

He hopes Sehun doesn't notice how he's rushing to leave.

 

 

If there's anything good about this situation, Luhan decides a few weeks later, his English grade must be increasing rapidly, even if he's been assigned lunch detention multiple times already for being late to class everyday (one of which he's just finished serving).

 

Well, actually, Luhan thinks as he opens his locker to pull out his textbooks for the second half of the day, that's a blessing too.

 

It's mean to avoid Sehun over this. Really mean. But Luhan can't help but to look for excuses, and when those excuses happen to be true? All the better!

 

Because he's not prepared to deal with Sehun right now. Sehun who's growing taller than him and getting more handsome and Luhan's pretty sure his voice has stopped cracking in the last week (a voice in the back of his head curses the timing).

 

Even though Sehun looks a tiny bit more like a kicked puppy every time Luhan turns down his invitations to hang out.

 

He zips up his backpack, slams the door of his locker shut, then yelps as he realizes there was a person behind it. “Jesus, Tao! What the hell are you doing there?!”

 

Tao's leaning up against the locker next to his, arms crossed, checking out his nails, but he turns his (sharp, scary) gaze to Luhan at his outburst. “Waiting for you to finish packing your . Which now you have, so let's have a little talk.”

 

This is it for him, isn't it?

 

“You wanna do this in private?” Tao's eyes flick to a less-traveled hallway.

 

Luhan gulps. Yeah, he's dead.

 

But he nods anyway and follows Tao down the hallway (because hell if Tao couldn't drag him there even if he refused).

 

He's surprised when Tao takes the same position he had at the lockers, staring back down at his nails. Once he seems satisfied, his gaze flicks back to Luhan. “So. You wanna tell me why you've been avoiding Sehun like the plague, or am I gonna have to guess?”

 

Luhan blinks. Even Tao has noticed?. “Excuse me?”

 

Tao raises his eyebrows. “Right, I'm going to have to guess then.” He pulls away from the wall, and Luhan swears his expression is even more intense than before (not that he's scared. Ha.). “So, Jongin said he saw you reading Sehun's planner, that true?”

 

Oh, so it was Jongin with the weird magical transportation powers. Good to know.

 

Luhan his lips and breaks eye contact him. “Um, yeah. I needed the English assignment. If I asked Sehun he'd just-”

 

“I don't really care why you did it,” Tao interrupts, “Although you shouldn't have, just knowing how he is about that thing, and for good reason.”

 

“He let you and Jongin see it, didn't he?” Luhan argues.

 

Tao glares back at him, and Luhan withers a bit. “He trusted us not to tell you what was inside. You, Jongin, and I; we're his closest friends, you know? And obviously,” he snorts, “he couldn't show it to you.”

 

Luhan's not one to admit defeat out loud, but Tao's right and he knows it, so he pouts but doesn't pursue it. “Does he know I saw it?”

 

“Nah, Jongin didn't tell him.” Tao waves it away. “We were hoping you would.”

 

Luhan scoffs.

 

Tao stares back at him. “So you will, right?”

 

“I- what?”

 

“You'll tell him you looked at it, right?” Tao doesn't break his gaze.

 

“But I can't do that!” Luhan whines at him, wearing a pitiful expression. “Then he'll know that I know!”

 

Tao doesn't budge. “You're being a jerk. Talk to him.”

 

Luhan glares at him, and in a moment of courage offers a challenge. “And if I don't? What are you going to do, make me?”

 

He's ready to slap himself as soon as it comes out of his mouth. He basically considers it a miracle that he's still in one piece right now, and he's really going to risk that?!

 

But Tao only sighs and slumps back against the wall. “No,” he says glumly, “I'm not going to make you. But he's one of my best friends, you know? And this whole thing is just really upsetting him, and it's just... it's sad to watch.”

 

“Oh,” Luhan says quietly.

 

“I'll tell him if you don't, though. He deserves that much, and you know it.”

 

“Yeah,” he mutters. “I... I guess so.”

 

There's a moment of silence as Tao stares expectantly at him.

 

“...Fine,” Luhan sighs, “I'll talk to him.”

 

Tao beams at him. “Great! Thanks, Lu ge,” he squeals, pulling Luhan into a tight hug (Luhan squeaks in shock). “Well, I've got to get to class. See you later, ge!”

 

Luhan gathers himself, then, brow furrowed, yells down the hall. “Hey! Who said you could call me that?!”

 

But Tao's already too far to hear, and Luhan just drops his shoulders and sighs.

 

How the hell is he going to explain this to Sehun?

 

 

Luhan's still not sure what to say when Sunday rolls around. Then he lets out a groan as he realizes he probably never will know what to say. He sighs as he rolls over on his bed and reaches for his phone. No time like the present, right?

 

Luhan

u free today?

Sent: 1:08 p.m.

 

His phone buzzes in his hand almost immediately.

 

Sehun

yeah what's up?

Received: 1:09 p.m.

 

Luhan hesitates before sending his next message. This is nerve-wracking.

 

Luhan

come over?

Sent: 1:11 p.m.

 

Sehun

when?

Received: 1:12 p.m.

 

Luhan

now

Sent: 1:13 p.m.

 

Sehun

yeah ok i'll see if my mom can give me a ride

Received: 1:13 p.m.

 

Luhan

ok cool

Sent: 1:13 p.m.

 

Sehun

she can. i'll be there in a little bit. see you then

Received: 1:19 p.m.

 

Luhan

yeah see u

Sent: 1:20 p.m.

 

Luhan spends the next twenty minutes in tense anticipation before there's a knock on his door. He jumps a little. “What, Mom?” he calls out loudly as he sits up, a little bit annoyed.

 

The door cracks open. “Hello, son,” Sehun cackles. “Can I come in?”

 

Luhan snorts and falls back down onto the bed. “Since when have you of all people actually asked permission to come into my room? Get in here, .”

 

“Since...” Sehun begins quietly, then reconsiders. “Since now, I guess.” He shrugs and enters the room, closing the door behind him before plopping down on Luhan's bed.

 

Suddenly, Luhan's tense again. There's a loose thread in his shorts, and stares down at it as he picks at it. “...Since I started avoiding you, you mean,” he murmurs.

 

Sehun doesn't say anything for a moment, but then he sighs. “Yeah, that.”

 

Luhan stops picking at the thread and takes a deep breath. Now or never. “I went through your planner,” he says abruptly.

 

Silence. Then, “You what?”

 

Sehun's voice is like ice, and it chills Luhan to the bone.

 

Luhan starts to babble. “I needed the English assignment, so I grabbed it when you weren't around, and I got curious because you're always so protective over it and then I saw all those pictures and I just-”

 

“You should have just ing asked me for it!” Sehun shrieks at him, striking him with a pillow. “You ing , what the hell!”

 

“No, but you always make a big deal over it and – hey, wait no! Sehun, what are you doing?!”

 

Sehun's gotten up from the bed, and he glares down at Luhan. “What the hell do you think? I'm leaving. I can't ing believe you right now.”

 

“What? No, Sehun, don't-”

 

“Shut up!” Sehun yells, and Luhan realizes the younger boy is about to cry. “You ing saw, I can't believe you ing saw, Jesus ing Christ, I can't be here right now-”

 

“Sehun, wait!” Luhan whines, and tugs at his arm, hard. Sehun makes a strangled noise as he topples down onto the bed.

 

“ing – Luhan, let go of me!”

 

“No! I'm trying to apologize!” Luhan insists.
 

And when Sehun finds he can't pull out of Luhan's grip, he gives up bursts into tears. “Oh my God, I can't ing believe you! This isn't – this isn't ing fair!” He sobs out.

 

“I know, Sehun, I know, but hear me out, I'm really sorry-” Luhan tries, but Sehun doesn't let him finish, letting out an anguished wail.

 

“No, you! You pull that and then you don't let even me leave?! Do you have any ing idea how embarrassing this is for me?! You ! Some ing friend you are!”

 

Luhan winces. “I know. I'm sorry.”

 

“ing whatever, Luhan. ing whatever.”

 

Luhan bites his lip and holds his tongue as Sehun cries, but wraps his arms around the younger boy and pulls him in tightly. Sehun doesn't reciprocate the gesture, but he doesn't pull away either, which Luhan takes as a good sign.

 

“I really am sorry,” Luhan later says quietly, once Sehun's sobs have died down to sniffling.

 

“Shut up,” Sehun replies, voice muffled against Luhan's shirt.

 

Luhan winces, but continues on. “I just didn't know how to handle it, okay? You're one of my best friends-”

 

“I don't care!” Sehun's voice is a little louder this time.

 

“-and you're like three years younger than me and I just... I didn't know how to deal with that, okay?”

 

Sehun snorts. “Not really.”

 

Luhan purses his lips and nods. “Okay, true. That's fair. But what else was I supposed to do?”

 

“I don't ing know.” Sehun's voice is back to a murmur. “Be an ? Like, 'Hey, Sehun, I heard you wanted my !' Then make some weird ual joke and laugh about it. Like what you usually do, you know?”

 

“Yeah, I guess so,” Luhan admits. “But, I just...” He sighs. “It made me think, you know?”

 

Sehun pulls away from his shirt to peek up at him. “You? Luhan? Think?”

 

“Shut up,” Luhan grumbles, and swats at him. “It's just like,” he begins slowly, “you're a brat-”

 

“Gee, thanks, hyung.”

 

“-but I like you, you know? Like I said, you are one of my best friends. And, you've um...” Luhan sighs. “You've been maturing, and in a good way.”

 

“You just said I was a brat,” Sehun points out.

 

“Thanks for proving my point. Physically, I mean.”

 

“Yeah, that tends to happen as people get older- oh. OH.” Sehun flushes to his ears.

 

“Yeah,” Luhan enunciates, “Oh.”

 

“So, um, will you go out with me?” Sehun blurts out. “Like I know I'm a lot younger than you, but I really do like you, and if you're thinking about me like that, then... can I at least have a chance?”

 

“I, uh...” Luhan hesitates, then sighs. “Yeah, why not? I owe you one for all this anyway.”

 

And when a smile flickers onto Sehun's face and lights it up brighter than Luhan's ever seen it, he decides that yeah, alright, he may be that senior that's dating a freshman, but maybe that doesn't actually matter all that much in the long run. And yeah, Sehun's a brat, but he's his brat now.

 

And, Luhan thinks, arms still wrapped around Sehun, he's definitely okay with that.