2014

Chirstmas and New Year have passed. Jimin didn't get the chance to went home due to busy schedules, but he get one day to spend with his family, which I didn't bother to go since he needs to spend time with them. Last December, we held our play at the town center. It was successful and I'm very happy with our performances. Many great actors and actresses watched our play and I even got the chance to pose in picture together with them, and they even congratulated me! I was really happy, and the best part is on April we will go to Japan and perform our play there. There was even one from Japan at the play and offered some of us for a scholarship in a Japanese Univesrity because he saw our potential.

Today was already February, and a few days left before our high school graduation. This was the day students like me have been waiting for, graduating high school is like another chapter of your life closed and the start of a new one. And I still can remember Jimin's promise. That he will come home here in Busan today. I was early at the school for the ceremony together with my parents.

We all went to the hall and I sat on my assigned seat while listening to our school director's speech. I looked to the side where my parents are seated and they were smiling at me, the smile that full of pride, because I can finish high school and even included in the honors list. I knew that Jimin can't go to the ceremony since he had his own graduation at Seoul to attend to. But since he promised me, I knew that he will be here later for our celebration.

The event finished and I was with my friends saying goodbye to each other, we cried together thinking of our different paths to take. Some will study in Seoul and some abroad, graduation day is a day of fulfillments and goodbye. I say goodbye to them and went to my parents carrying some flower bouquet on my arms. I went in the car and my father started to drive home.

I get my phone from my bag to check for updates about Jimin. It had been a few days since I last logged in since I was busy preparing for graduation and Jimin on the other hand was preparing for their comeback. And there I read that Jimin and V weren't able to attend their graduation due to schedule conflicts. I didn't know what to feel, I knew that Jimin was busy with his schedules, and I'm sad that he didn't get to attend an important event in his life, and beside that I think that he wouldn't be able to attend the celebration here in Busan. I knew that he promised me that he will come home today, but because he's an idol, I can't get mad at him. I should understand him that he was busy, but even though, I can't help but to feel hurt.

When we came to our house, some of my relatives were there. We just planned to have a simple celebration and I'm happy that they came. And there I also saw Jimin's parents. They weren't able to visit Jimin because of his schedules; they congratulated me and said that they were happy for me. They always treat me as their own daughter and they knew our relationship but just like my parents they were worried of me and Jimin and of how long we can make this relationship of ours work.

The night falls already, some of our relatives and also Jimin's parents went home. I was already dressed in my pajama ready to sleep. I sat on my bed and watched BTS' comeback stage in my phone. And as always, Jimin was great. He really did great and I was so proud of him, if only I could be there by his side. Now that he's busy with schedules I wonder when will I be able to see him again. Maybe I have to wait for the fansign event here at Busan again? I lay down on my bed and stared at the ceiling, even though I'm his girlfriend, right now in our situation I'm just one of his fans that was patiently waiting for the time that I can meet him.

My thoughts flew to our current situation and up until when can we take this kind of relationship. It was a secret, aside from our parents and with him busy every day, it was much worse than a  long distance relationship. Just then I heard something from my window. Slowly I got up and carefully went to my window trying to peek from the curtain until a small pebble was thrown causing for me to back away a little. I peeked at the curtain again and saw Jimin outside. I quickly opened my window and stared wide eye at him

"Jimin?" I almost shouted, I even blinked and rub my eyes to make sure I was not dreaming. "Hey" he greeted casually with that smile of his. "W-what are you doing here?" I asked, still can't believe that the guy I was just thinking of a few minutes ago was here outside, sitting on the branch of the tree just adjacent to my room. "Is that your way of saying 'I missed you' to your boyfriend?" He pouted but then held the tree trunk to transfer his self from the tree to my room. "Careful!" I warned him as he reached for my window and perfectly climbing to it. I helped him and he finally got into my room.

"phew" He said and act as if wiping his sweat "It's been a while since I did that" he said and I chuckled at him "Missed me?" he asked staring directly into my eyes. "Of course you pabo!" I said and hugged him tightly, I didn't want to let go. I just want us to stay like that forever. I hugged him tight without noticing that my tears have already started falling. "Hey hey baby, don't cry" he said and hushed me cupping my cheeks and kissing away my tears. "You pabo! Don't you know how much I missed you?! It's so hard for me, and I thought I really wouldn't able to see you today!" I cried and punched his chest and he just hugged me tightly "I know. I'm sorry. It's hard for me too. But I promised right? That's why I'm here" he said

I looked up at him "But how did you went here? Aren't you busy with your comeback?" I asked, worried for him "Don't worry about it" he said "you sneak out right?" I asked "O-of course not" he denied, but I knew that he was lying. There was no way their manager would let him go here at this hour and especially when they're in the middle of promotions. "Of course you did. Don't lie Jimin-ah!" He sighed before looking at me into the eyes "Yes I did" he said

"Aish pabo!" I said and flicked his forehead causing for him to scrunch his face and pout "But I promised you" he said. "Jimin, I know that you're busy and I can understand if you can't come. I missed you so much and I wanted to see you badly but I don't want you to suffer because of me. I know that you lack sleep already just look at your face, where are those chubby cheeks that I love to pinch? They're gone. And when they find out you will definitely be scolded"

"I just wanted to see you" he said. "Me too, but how about you?" I asked. "I'll take care of it Daeun-ah, but right now please... let me stay here for a while. I can't stay for long but please let me be here with you" He said before hugging me again.

We stayed in my room for about an hour, just lying on my bed together cuddling and talking nonstop, talking about everything that happened to us as if there's no tomorrow, because there won't be a tomorrow for us to talk about everything else and have to wait again for a few more weeks or months to talk like this again. He told me that he ditched their late night practice to come here for me. He also told me a lot of stories of how he was always made fun in the dorm but still being taken care of by his hyungs. He added that V knew about me since he always told stories about me to V and even showed him my picture. I told him that our play was successful and on April we will have to fly to Japan for our show there. He congratulated me and also said sorry that he wasn't able to watch me act on stage.

It was that time again, when I wished that time would stop and let us like that for longer, but it didn't. Jimin needed to go back, he had a lot of responsibilities as an idol. Painfully and with a heavy heart, we both said goodbye. But before he could even lift an arm to the window, I pulled him back and kissed him. It was our first kiss, and hopefully it wouldn't be our last. We shared a passionate kiss, if only not for the lack of air we wouldn't ever separate.

"Goodbye" I said and again, I let go of him.

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A few weeks passed and it was already the early days of March. Our rehearsal for our play just finished and I was too tired to get up from my seat. "Daeun-ah!" I looked up and saw Chaseul, she was one of my friends here and she was also offered a scholarship "Have you thought about the scholarship?" she asked me. "Not yet actually, how about you?" I said and asked. "I will go for it" she said "I will have to sacrifice being far from my family and friends here but it's for my dream right? And I think it's a good opportunity for us" she said and I agreed, well I really think the same. But aside from being far from my parents and the hardships of adjusting to a new environment  of a different country, I also thought of Jimin. Being here in Busan was already hard for us what more if go to Japan right? Communication will get much harder for us. "I'll think about it" I said to Chaseul and then went to my locker.

I put on my earphones and listened to BTS' songs as I rode the bus home. When I got home my mother was talking with someone on the telephone, I was about to climb the stairs when she called me, just right after her phonecall. "Yes mom?" I asked as I went to her. She looked at me straight in the eyes "Daeun-ah, about your scholarship in Japan" she started. "What about it?" I asked "I think it's okay if you consider it" she said, she was actually neutral about the scholarship because she didn't want me to be far from them, and I didn't want that either. "But mom—"

"Daeun-ah, remember you aunt Cherry who have married a Japanese guy? She's pregnant right now, and her husband was off to America and she wants me to help take care of her other kids while she's pregnant. She doesn't want to get some maids because she has trust issues and you know that right. And also there was a good job offer there for your father, so we came to a decision that we all go to Japan and live there. We're all together there. What do you think?" she asked

I stared at my mom, trying to process what she just said. So we're going to live in Japan? That would be fine for me, but how about Jimin? "Mom.." "Daeun-ah, I know that you're thinking about Jimin, but he's an idol now. I know that you love him and he loves you too, and never once you heard us disagreeing to your relationship with him. But how long Daeun-ah? How long can you keep that kind of relationship? Jimin is already tasting a bit of his dreams, and it's time for you to catch your dreams too" she said, I couldn't say anything, because I know that my mother was right.

Me and Jimin both have dreams to reach, but there were two paths in front of us, and each need to travel a different one.