a/n: this story was my attempt at something not angsty. i'm so sorry if the jokes are not funny at all or are offensive

Sehun likes cudding. Sehun does not like violence.

Sehun's parents forced him to take wushu lessons and the guy staring at him was really creeping him out.

“I am-”

“Senpai?” The guy narrowed his eyes and Sehun knew he shouldn't have interrupted.

“We are in Korea. This is Chinese martial arts. Is there anything Japanese related?”

“No,” he squeaked. He tried really hard to think of the correct name for a wushu instructor. Sensei? “Shifu?”

The not-senpai didn't narrow his eyes this time but seemed caught between laughing and punching him. “I'm just a student,” he said. “But I'm good enough to teach beginners like you.”

Sehun desperately wished for Pinku Pinku. Even if the Rilakkuma plushie couldn't defend him, it could at least comfort him. “Then what do I call you?”

“Tao,” he said simply.

“Ok, Tao . . . ssi?” He wanted to be polite because everyone said he was rude to his elders and this Tao was staring at him and .

“You're so cute.”

. . . and he really didn't want to die.

~~~

“Oh my god! Please don't kill me! AHHH!!!!! Are you going to me? Ah-”

“Shut up,” Tao huffed. “There are kids around.”

Sehun tried to reply but he screamed in pain again, voice a little more muffled because his face was squished against the ground as his legs were forced apart.

“Flexibility is the most important part of wushu,” said Tao, who was sitting on Sehun and seemed to be completely fine with having his against another man's . “Without it, you won't be able to do anything.”

“Pain,” Sehun gasped out. He wanted to scream about ual harassment because Senpai was too close and too much physical contact was bad. “ Get off please!” His voice cracked.

“You need to get your splits down.”

“I'm too young to die,” Sehun cried, getting a mouthful of whatever was on the carpeted floor. He tried spitting it out, but it was suddenly really hard to breathe. He felt like his legs were getting ripped off, his tendons were tearing, his pelvis was cracking and his ribcage was probably going to cave in. Pinku Pinku, where are you. . .

“And who the hell would want to you?” Tao mused as he settled in and put his entire 140 pounds onto the poor kid under him.

Sehun screeched. But at least he didn't moan, because that would be awkward.

~~~

“Woah, what happened?” Luhan asked, amused, when Sehun slowly walked over to his seat in the bubble tea cafe and sat down gingerly. “Rough night?”

“Wushu.” And then under his breath, he muttered, “Damn you Tao.”

“Did you just say Tao? As in Huang Zitao?” Luhan leaned across the table, suddenly interested in the source of his friend's misery.

Sehun slurped his drink. “Yeah.”

“Oh my god!” he cried.

“What.”

“He's pretty much Kris and Junmyeon's adopted son.”

“Who?”

“Only the two richest students in our school,” Luhan explained, exasperated.

“So?”

“This is great!”

“Why?”

If Luhan was bothered by Sehun's one-word answers, he didn't show it and was instead getting more and more excited. “If you two date, you can get him to buy you anything you want. And you can have him help you with not being a nineteen-year old ! Win-win situation.”

“That's all you care about?” Sehun finally said. “Not my life or death?”

Luhan pouted. “Stop being so depressing. This is why I'm your only friend.” Sehun aggressively chewed on a tapioca pearl and rolled his eyes. “And now your only friend is going on a coffee date.”

And he was gone before Sehun's “ you!” could leave his mouth.

He really needed a better social life. And life, apparently. Basically life in general. If he could survive another wushu lesson.

~~~

Which was evidently easier said than done because two days later, frog jumps happened.

The concept was simple: spread your legs out shoulder width apart, squat, spring yourself forward with straight legs, land, repeat. They're doable in the beginning, but by the third lap around the school, they're . . . not.

Most of the students (all younger than Sehun, by the way) were already finished and resting, but he was still in the middle of the carpeted desert with no visible end. His lips were parched and every ragged breath equaled pain in his dry throat. There was no moisture left in him, yet he was pretty sure that he was foaming at the mouth like a rabid dog. His water bottle was so close and yet so far away in his cubby, because he wasn't allowed any water. He considered laying down and dragging himself, but then, “Oh Sehun! No stopping, legs apart and don't touch the ground with your hands. You look a like a penguin!”

He whispered “hwaiting” to himself, grit his teeth, braced himself and summoned all the energy he had left to finish the lap and not look like a penguin, even though penguins were actually pretty cute.

It didn't really work and he toppled onto the ground, .

Feet appeared next to him and he didn't have to look to know who they belonged to. “Get up,” Senpai commanded.

Sehun made incoherent noises of protest.

“Holy ,” Tao said as he dragged him up. “Do you have any muscles? You're so weak.”

“I'm not . . . weak,” he managed to gasp out. He tried standing up and gave up before his left the ground. Tao stared at him with those unblinking eyes. “I'll get up. Please don't hurt me,” Sehun added quickly.

Tao blinked and Sehun gulped.

Sehun's parents strongly encouraged him to take these wushu classes so that he could man up and also learn how to defend himself. But really, being in that room just made him want to curl up into a fetal position and cry. Not very manly. At all. But he couldn't help it because there was sweat and pain and a certain senpai who's eyes seemed to pierce right into his soul and all he wanted in life was chocolate and not pain. He concluded at the end of the day that he was either a masochist or had too much thanatos, or whatever unconscious-Freudian thing it was.

And it was reconfirmed every time he went to class, because even though he dreaded it, he still went willingly.

~~~

It was kind of annoying how Tao always picked Sehun for self-defense demonstrations, which was how Sehun found himself in a choke hold while Tao calmly explained the move to the other students.

“Your elbow is a very strong part of your body.” Pain. “Place it here-” What is air? “-to make sure the person can't move. And then-”

His life flashed before his eyes.

Sehun playing with Pinku Pinku and Jongin.

Sehun getting threatened by Satan's incarnate.

Sehun getting laughed at by Jongdae.

Sehun laughing at others with Baekhyun.

Sehun helping Baekhyun's puppy-ferret hybrid friend hook up with Jongin (and getting threatened by Satan again).

Sehun watching Yixing dance from afar.

Sehun mistaking Luhan as a girl.

Sehun accidentally seeing Luhan make out with Minseok-or-whatever-his-name-was.

Sehun starting wushu lessons.

And then it was over because his life was too short and he was too young to die.

There were pretty stars everywhere and a straight nose, thin lips and suddenly attractive eye bags were focusing in front of him. Staring into his soul. Unconsciously, he his lips as his heart beat a little faster. He couldn't breathe and now it was because of a different reason. (Although the non-romantic would like to mention that the main reason was still him being in a choke hold and definitely did NOT have anything to do with butterflies and a smoldering hot guy.)

~~~

Sehun was usually the last one to leave because he had to regain energy before riding his bike home and there were no classes after his. Usually, Tao would stand by the door and impatiently wait for him to leave. But today, there was a clap of thunder, a bolt of lightning streaked across the sky, the world was instantly plunged into a downpour and the lights went out.

Sehun blinked, trying to get used to the darkness, and heard a high pitched scream. “Oh my god, it's so dark! Save me!” And then it was reduced to blubbers.

“Tao?” Sehun asked.

“I'm-” sniffle “-scared.”

“Of the dark?”

“I'm going to die!”

He really wanted to laugh. The badass martial artists who scared the living out of him was crying because there was a blackout? But he swallowed his laughter because he felt kind of bad. And even though he was crying, Tao was still the same Senpai.

Walking slowly (because he couldn't see, not because his legs were shaking), he found where the older boy was. He tapped his shoulder and Tao screamed. “Calm down,” he said in a hopefully comforting voice. “It's just me.”

They sat down against the wall and Tao seemed to relax a little. “The dark is scary. There might be-” sniffle and a cough “-things out there.”

Sehun only meant to stay there until the rain stopped so that he wouldn't be drenched, but then Tao leaned into him and fell asleep. It was kind of amazing how one moment Tao would be playing with swords and the next he would be screaming about ghosts and then snoring lightly, but it was also amazing how Sehun let the boy sleep in his arms.

He woke up the next day to dried drool and sweat on his shirt and sunlight streaming on his face. It was nice and Sehun took the time to study the other boy. Asleep, Tao seemed peaceful, not scary and kind of . . . attractive? Sehun had to admit, he had some nice facial features.

A piece of dust magically appeared and slowly floated down onto his nose. Sehun reached over to flick it off . . . maybe touch Tao's nose . . .

But then he woke up. Staring at each other, both froze, except for the rapid fluttering of eyelashes.

“Sen-Tao! I-”

“Did you just call me Santa?” Tao exclaimed, pushing himself away. “And why were you that close to me?”

“I . . . uh . . . you were the one who-” Sehun gave up explaining and bolted out the door, almost forgetting his bike.

He seriously was going to get killed.

~~~

“You spent the night with Huang Zitao?” Luhan cried. “He slept in you arms! You nineteen year old vir-” He stopped short. Sehun glared at Luhan, waiting for him to stop coughing and choking on his own spit.

“Why are you more excited about this than me?”

“Because you don't understand how great this is.” Luhan let out one last cough. “Ok. Listen. You can totally use this to blackmail him and get him to buy you Gucci or Cartier.”

“Why would I do that?”

“Or you can have him get Givenchy and then give it to your best friend,” Luhan said sweetly.

“I repeat: why would I do that?”

“Oh Sehun, why are you so dense?”

He frowned so hard he thought his face was going to fall apart. “Excuse me? He might use an actual sword the next time he sees me and you want me to get you clothes?”

His friend pouted. “You don't know how to have fun.”

“I'm going to die. Die!”

“I'll go to your funeral.”

“ you.”

“No, you should him.”

~~~

When Sehun entered the school, Tao didn't so much as give him a glance. Sehun's life wasn't in immediate danger, and he was definitely grateful. But at the same time, he was kind of sad that Tao acted as if they didn't spend the night cuddling with each other. Sehun never had such prolonged physical contact with someone else and he really wished that the older boy would make a slightly bigger deal over it.

But then (there's always a “but” and a “then”) after warm ups, Tao made an announcement. “Today,” he said. “We're going to do something special and everyone will get to do something different. Because many of you will be testing for white belt soon, and I won't be able to teach you anymore.”

Sad groans and whines filled the room. Sehun . . . Sehun didn't know how he felt.

“Oh my god, you're actually going to me this time!” Sehun accused Tao as he was forced to lay on his back and spread his legs while the other students were on water break, waiting for their own “special” thing.

Tao placed a hand on each of Sehun's thighs and pushed. “Why do you always think you're in moral danger? You're being disrespectful to actual victims.”

He writhed in pain in response and Tao tightened his hold. He really hated middle splits. “And why do you always look constipated?”

Sehun stopped struggling for a second. “Constipated?”

“And stop being so scared.”

“But it is s-”

“Remember that night?”

Sehun gulped. This was it. This was when Tao would kill him via extreme pain in the legs and pelvis and maybe a torn tendon.

“It wasn't so scary actually.” Tao bit his lip. It was kind of cute. “Because you were there.”

“What?!” Sehun's mind cried in surprise. He stared up, mouth open in shock.

“Close your mouth,” Tao commanded and Sehun obeyed. “Because . . . maybe this is moving to fast . . . but . . .”

Tao knelt down and leaned forward. His body was too close to Sehun's crotch. His face was so close to Sehun's.

And it became closer. And their lips touched.

There was still so much pain and Sehun couldn't kiss back (wait, kissing?) but his thoughts were going crazy and he swore there were butterflies and rainbows everywhere.

Senpai noticed me! But I didn't want senpai to notice me? Lips! Cartier love bracelets. Couple jewelry. Glorious, kissable lips on mine. Smells good. Luhan would be so jealous. Senpai lips. Too much dopamine. A bit of serotonin. Tao lips. Tao.

Sehun closed his eyes and put his arms around Tao's neck, pulling him closer.

He felt so alive. (Even though the quick heart beat was probably not healthy.)