A year had passed and I came back to my home country Korea. No, my illness hadn't recovered. It's my courage that made me fly over the ocean to see her, from a far through this glass wall.

Park Florist. Yes, it’s the name of the place where I saw her almost every day for these whole two months. But then, that spring, I didn’t want to waste my life watching her from a far, from a coffee shop in front of the florist. I admitted that just by looking at her through the glass wall every evening while sipping my tea, I ordered a cup of tea and sometimes just a glass of water, was enough to make me happy and dream about her before I went to sleep. But there were also fear, guilt and anger in it. I didn't want to waste my time by only imagining her face when death could be coming any time. With all the courage I had, I heaved a deep sigh, adjusted my beanie and walked into the place.

“Welcome to Park Florist. Can I help you? ” A mid age woman welcomed me with a smile. I awkwardly cleared my throat and looked around my surrounding.

“My friend was hospitalized yesterday so I want to visit him today. So, what kind of flower do you think I should give to him?” I waited for the woman to respond but she just raised her eyebrow.

“Him? I thought it’s for a girl,” suddenly it went dawn on me and when I was about to clarify it she waved her hands and said it was okay and she didn’t against gay, then excusing herself to look for a good flower for me. I was totally embarrassed.

“Omo!..” I heard a voice from aside and there she was my goddess trying to gather something on the floor. She was wearing a pink dress and it matched her milky skin. Her hair looked so smooth and it’s falling perfectly. I spaced out for awhile before the woman came back and snapped me back to reality.

“Here’s your…… Aigoooo.. Where’s Durami?? Dara-ahh just stay there I’ll help you out,” the woman then handed me the flower after saying the price. I quickly took out my wallet and gave the money.

“Thankyou. I hope your man will get well soon,” she winked and hurriedly went to Dara. “I’ll kill that little brat when she’s going home,” said the woman as she helped Dara gathered some scattered paper craft on the floor.

“I’m okay Umma. No need to worry,” she let out a chuckle.

I was so happy that day that I could see her that close. My heart was still beating so hard for her. I really wanted to hug her, kiss her soft lips and whisper how much I love her. She was still very beautiful. While I looked like a crap. My baggy shirt covered my skinny body. I believed she would freak out if she touched my face and I didn't want her to remember me as a sick man. Her hair was longer than last time I saw her. Oh God I really missed her so much that it's hard for me to breathe. I didn't realize that actually tears escaped my eyes. Letting out my longing to touch her. I wiped my tears anyway as I went home while holding the flower I bought. It should be a tear of joy. Because finally I could see her that close again. The flower on my hand was pretty but not as pretty as my Dara.

***

“Yeoboseyo Umma,”

My Mom called me and asked if everything was okay with me. She said that she was going to visit me this fall together with my Dad. My real Dad. I heaved a deep sig