The Longest Train Ride Ever

Description

Where Key goes back to Daegu for the holidays and Jinki / Onew who annoys him to no end during the train ride.

Foreword

Hey, I wanted to write a one-shot since a long time ago but I didn't have any ideas. Then bam! I had an idea. Lol. Anyway, I was deciding on which otp to write but all I could think of was Onkey. Idk why. Maybe in my heart my favourite otp is Onkey lols, currently writing so stay tuned!  P.S Will update in two weeks time cause I am going on a trip to Singapore and Korea. Yay me!!

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Comments

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denimdisaster #1
Chapter 1: aww this was super cute :")
Erzagrov #2
Chapter 1: yes, i agree with noriko24..
this would be better if you made longer conversation between jinki and kibum, just like. what you meant in your tittle.. :))
noriko24 #3
Chapter 1: Well... it's good actually. But, I think you need to write more about Jinki and Kibum conversation in the train. Cause, the tittle, you know. The tittle must fit with the story that we made. I mean, it would be nice, if you re-edited between Minho and Kibum convo. You can deleted it or just make it very short. Cause, the readers might already understand about the situation. Just describe it with short and then you can make Jinki and Kibum moments in the train longer!
You know, it's kinda surprised me when you suddenly ended the story, like Kibum already arrived at his destination. You can make some more interesting conversation between the couple. For example, make it Jinki teased more about Kibum. Or can make their conversation getting interesting with Jinki sharing his snacks with Kibum. People likes to bring their snacks while they're in long journey, right?
Overall, your idea story is good. Just make it more interesting, okay? Not too flat ^^;;
That's all. Hope you can understand my not so good english ^^;;
Fighting! Thanks for writing~
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