A/N: Probably not as crack! as you wanted but I made an attempt. This may be the least angsty thing I've ever written.

Kyungsoo walked into his first morning class late, as he often did. He was fortunate enough that his teacher always showed up at least ten minutes late every day, so his three or four minutes would go unnoticed on his attendance schedule. His classmates, however, did notice, but he didn’t think they really cared. Plunking down in his seat, he gave a huge yawn before resting his cheek on his desk, eyes closing. Around him, kids were chatting away about this and that, nothing enough to actually hold his attention. However, after a minute, his ears perked up at something very familiar.

His own voice.

Frowning, Kyungsoo sat up and threw a look over his shoulder, seeking the crackly, mechanical sound of his voice – clearly, a recording of him, not actually himself talking. That would be concerning. A seat back in the row across, he could see a boy staring at his phone, evidently watching a video. Judging by the screaming in the background, it was a concert video. Kyungsoo refrained from rolling his eyes.

“Is that from last night’s concert?” Another girl in their class beat Kyungsoo to asking, peering over the other boy’s shoulder to peek at the video too. The boy nodded, eyes never leaving the screen. Then, abruptly, the girl squealed and the boy started blushing.

“Oh my gosh, he’s so gorgeous, and then he does stuff like that!” the girl whined. “It’s so unfair. I wish I could see him in real life…”

Kyungsoo had to resist laughing. “That’s Joe Munroe, isn’t it?” he asked, like he didn’t already know. As if he didn’t recognize the song, know all the lyrics that he had written, practiced a million times, and sung every week. But no one else knew that, so he would continue pretending to be clueless.

“Who else?” the boy returned, and his eyes were finally peeled from the screen to look up and shoot Kyungsoo a smile. “Don’t tell me you can actually recognize his songs now. That’s not good, Kyungsoo, we don’t want you to start liking him.”

“I don’t like him,” Kyungsoo muttered. “It’s hard for me not to know him when you’re so obsessed with him.” And I’m so obsessed with you. The boy smiled again, and Kyungsoo looked away, feeling frustrated. The guy seriously had no idea how stupid he was. He never noticed Kyungsoo, yet he could sense anything related to Joe Munroe from literally a mile away. He was always the first to know about anything the pop star did, because he was totally in love with him. And yet he had no interest in Kyungsoo. The irony had stopped being funny ages ago.

Because Kyungsoo was Joe Munroe. Not that anyone knew – that was how he wanted it to be; he wanted to be able to live a normal life, unlike most idols who could never go anywhere or do anything without being bombarded by fans and paps and everything else. He’d kept his secret well for the past two years, and even his own friends hadn’t discovered it yet. Given, they were extremely inobservant and, well, just downright stupid, honestly. Every single one of them liked Joe, or was in love with him in some cases, and yet they hadn’t put two and two together yet.

It was actually ridiculous. Kyungsoo was the only one in their group who didn’t care about Joe. He didn’t go to the idol’s concerts with them, he didn’t have his CDs or listen to his songs, he didn’t know anything about Joe. Or so they thought. But they were born in the same year – Joe had never revealed his birthday, but he had said it was in January – and they had the same blood type (which his friends had pointed out, saying it must be why Kyungsoo didn’t like the idol), and underneath heavy makeup and a blond wig, without shoe lifts and shoulder pads, Joe and Kyungsoo looked the exact same. Kyungsoo had to admire how well his make-up artists did on him, entirely changing his appearance, but still… His friends had looked at hundreds of pictures of Joe, surely they noticed similarities, didn’t they? And didn’t they find it strange that they’d never seen a picture of him outside of events, and without makeup? (They did. They complained about it all the time. But they still didn’t think it could be Kyungsoo.)

Kyungsoo pushed up his glasses – which he was given a daily reminder by his friends or by looking in the mirror of how dorky they were, and how much dorkier they made him – and glanced back at the small group that had now gathered around the boy’s phone. The urge to scowl was strong, but he suppressed it, instead coughing in hopes of getting their attention. Well, at least the boy’s attention.

“Shouldn’t you be fangirling over his new album or something?” he said over the sounds of the video. He was literally competing with himself for the attention of the boy he liked, and he was losing. However, at his words, his eyes shot up, widening and staring at Kyungsoo in disbelief.

“Huh?”

“His new album,” Kyungsoo repeated. “They announced it this morning or something, didn’t they?”

“Uh, not that I know of. And I would know.” And they both knew it.

Kyungsoo frowned, pulling out his phone and texting his manager quickly. “Didn’t we announce the album today?”

“Don’t mess around with me, Soo,” the boy muttered as he typed in his phone frantically, undoubtedly searching the web for this news. Kyungsoo’s heart started beating nervously. Had he just accidentally dropped information about his own album that he wasn’t supposed to know about – information that hadn’t actually been released to the public yet? Around them, others were also checking their phones to see if there was any news, and Kyungsoo was starting to panic.

It was worse when he received a message back from his manager saying, “Not until tonight.”

.

Well. He was screwed.

“I swear you’ve been going on about him having a new album out,” Kyungsoo tried to say casually.

“No. He hasn’t had a new album out in like half a year.”

“Well, there was that leaked news that he might be putting out one soon,” a girl put in, and Kyungsoo was extremely grateful, even if she had no idea. “And I mean, last night’s concert was the last one for promoting this album. You know how he is, though. He starts up as soon as one era ends.”

“I guess that’s it, then,” Kyungsoo said with a shrug. He might have just played that off. At least for now. What happened when the news came out tonight?

Before he could say anything more to save himself, their teacher finally showed up, and Kyungsoo was forced to turn around and face the front. Nothing more was mentioned about the idol, but at one point, their teacher did yell at a student.

“Kim Jongin, that better not be a cell phone I see.”

Kyungsoo shot a look back at his friend, whose phone was out again, though it was under his desk. He quickly pocketed it, giving Kyungsoo an embarrassed look. Kyungsoo just stuck his tongue out at him. Jongin had probably just been looking at pictures of Joe from last night or something.

Somewhere along the lines, his mind wandered to the jealous, self-pitying area it always did when Jongin and Joe met in his thoughts (which they often did). There was no point trying to logic out Jongin, but Kyungsoo still frustrated himself endlessly trying to. The guy had the background on his phone as a picture of Joe. He had pictures of himself edited into pictures of Joe. Meanwhile, Kyungsoo took lots of pictures with Jongin all the time, and did he ever make those his wallpaper? No, no he did not. (Although Kyungsoo did. Jongin would just say “cute” when he saw.) He literally could have selcas with “Joe” whenever he wanted, but no. He was stupid. Painfully, stupidly stupid.

It didn’t even make sense. Was Kyungsoo really so much uglier and unrecognizable without makeup? Like, Jongin had literally never expressed or suggested any type of interest in Kyungsoo (beyond their five-year friendship, of course). Then again, Jongin had never really come out about liking guys, either. Until Joe had debuted, Jongin hadn’t really had crushes very often. And they never lasted long when he did have them. And he certainly didn’t make such a big deal about them. But then Joe had happened, and Jongin had tried to stay quiet about it, but then they met Byun Baekhyun, who was openly (and madly) in love with Joe, and Jongin started to open up about it a lot more. And now they were here.

Unlike Jongin, Kyungsoo hadn’t kept his interest in boys a secret. Well, he had for a while, and then he’d told Jongin about it, and when he’d gotten to high school he’d come out to everyone. Jongin had been really cool about it, even if everyone else hadn’t. But he’d made friends anyway, so that was what mattered, he guessed. However, at the same time he outed himself, he was making a debut as Joe Munroe on stage. Within a few months he was one of the most popular idols in Korea, and the least popular kid in his school, or close to. Even when Joe had announced that he was gay-supportive, nothing changed for Kyungsoo. (Although, when Joe said it, Jongin asked Kyungsoo if he thought it meant Joe was gay, and if that meant he would date Jongin. To which Kyungsoo replied Jongin didn’t have a chance with Joe, who was a celebrity, and since when had he ever liked guys anyway? Jongin had blushed and said he didn’t like guys, just Joe.)

How many times had Kyungsoo considered telling Jongin who Joe was? As many times as he’d told himself against it. Because he didn’t want Jongin in love with him because of Joe. He wanted Jongin in love with him because of Kyungsoo. And that wasn’t happening.

He found himself scripting thoughts into the margins of his notes, and he could feel a song flowing through him. Sometime in the near future, he would have to write this song out.

When their lunch period began, Jongin was quick to drag Kyungsoo out of class, probably wanting to find Baekhyun to freak out over the concert or whatever. Neither of them had even gone, but this was how they always were. Every concert. They were scary, scary people.

“Hey, hyung, how come you were late for class this morning?” Jongin asked as they made their way through the halls, his hand holding tightly onto Kyungsoo’s so he wouldn’t lose the smaller boy in the crowds. Kyungsoo was surprised he’d even noticed his lateness.

“I, uh, slept in.” It was true. He had overslept, as he often did after concerts. They were very draining, for one thing, and usually he would have to go straight from school to the concert hall, rehearse, try and get as much homework done as possible, hold the concert, and then go home and finish his homework, which meant him staying up very late. And today, Joe had a radio interview, where he’d be announcing his new album. Having events two days in a row was really hard on him, too.

When they reached the lunch room, Jongin spotted Baekhyun almost immediately, and then they were yelling about every detail of the previous night, mourning over the end of this tour and set list. They went over all the songs, in order, and at one point Jongin mentioned how Joe’s voice had cracked during a song, and he thought it was so cute. Kyungsoo felt himself growing warm, because he hadn’t monitored his stage yet, and he didn’t know his voice had cracked.

“Really?” he put in, trying to sound humoured instead of concerned. “Mr. Perfect’s voice cracked? I wanna see.”

“Don’t be mean, Kyungsoo,” Jongin pouted, looking away from Baekhyun, whom he’d been more or less immersed in. The two were ignoring Kyungsoo and Chanyeol, who were sitting across from them. “Everyone has their days. The rest of the show was flawless.”

Kyungsoo sighed. Of course he was immediately dismissed. “Maybe that’s why I don’t like your stupid Joe.” Jongin stared. “Because he’s so perfect. I’m sure he’s not really that great, but the way you talk about him just makes him sound annoying. And I don’t like him.”

“He has his flaws!” Jongin said quickly. “But it’s his flaws that make him perfect, to me.”

“Whatever,” Kyungsoo grumbled. “You don’t even know what he’s like off-stage, when he’s not putting on a show for the world. He could be a jerk for all you know.”

Jongin was shaking his head. Baekhyun put in, “No, no. There’s no way he could ever be.”

“How would you know?” Kyungsoo shot at him.

“Yeah,” Chanyeol said. “I mean, we’ve never actually met him. What’s to say he isn’t nice?” Chanyeol wasn’t an avid fan the way Jongin and Baekhyun were. Sure, he liked Joe and his music, but he wasn’t in love with him or anything. And on top of that, Kyungsoo was ninety-seven percent sure Chanyeol had feelings for Baekhyun, so he too was suffering from jealousy as he watched the boy go crazy over the pop star, instead of him.

“Hey, you’re supposed to be on our side for this,” Baekhyun whined, giving Chanyeol a puppy-dog look. Chanyeol’s mouth snapped shut.

Kyungsoo went back to scowling. “Anyway, where’s Yixing? Normally he’d be here by now.”

Four heads turned to the cafeteria doorway, as if anticipating their friend to enter at that moment. He didn’t. Jongin just shrugged and turned back to the table.

“He probably got lost on his way back,” Baekhyun said indifferently. “He’ll show up eventually. But – oh! Jongin, tonight, are we hanging out at your place or what? The radio interview is gonna be video broadcasted online, we have to watch it. Joe said it was like, really important.”

“We can go to my house,” Jongin offered. “Do you two wanna come?” he added to Chanyeol and Kyungsoo.

At the same time as Kyungsoo was saying, “No way”, Chanyeol muttered, “Yeah, of course”. Kyungsoo felt like it was more because Baekhyun was going to be there, and he didn’t want Baekhyun to be alone with Jongin. Because lord knows the two would be brought together by their mutual love for Joe. The two super Munromancers (or whatever they were called) went on about how excited they were to see the interview tonight, and Kyungsoo decided to work on homework, since he wouldn’t have much time later.

After school ended, Kyungsoo was picked up by his mom and driven over to his company to get ready for the interview. He had to have his hair and makeup done before leaving, because people couldn’t see him as Do Kyungsoo. He was dropped off at the back door and slipped inside, taking the elevator up several floors, checking his phone during the wait. He had to be at the interview in two hours. Today was going to be a busy day, and the time constraint guaranteed a grumpy makeup team, aka Oh Sehun.

Kyungsoo reached his makeup room and saw his team awaiting him. He preferred to have few people working with him, which meant he only had a half a dozen people with him at all times. First, Oh Sehun, who was his makeup artist and an utter perfectionist. Sehun generally came off as pretty grumpy, but he was actually very nice. Next, Kim Minseok, his hairstylist. He was the sweetest, and always bought Kyungsoo coffee (since the guy loved the drink himself). He also went on all the time about his maybe maybe-not boyfriend Luhan; whether they were dating or not was irrelevant, they hung out whenever Minseok wasn’t with Kyungsoo. Then there was Tao, who Kyungsoo didn’t see very often, but was his outfit planner, and Jongdae, who Kyungsoo saw a lot of because he was his publicist. Last but not least was Kim Joonmyun, his manager and more-or-less caregiver within the company. Joonmyun was practically his fairy godmother, and though he was entirely overbearing at times, he was also a great person for Kyungsoo to complain about all his problems (largely being Jongin). So yeah, he had a small team, but he liked it that way.

Within moments of entering the room, he was stripped of his school uniform and thrown into a new outfit that was semi-casual but still screamed idol. Then he was plopped in the makeup chair and his hair was being pinned up and pushed back to make way for the wig being thrown on him. He took off his glasses quickly, and was handed contacts that allowed him to see. (As Joe, he had to lie and say he’d had laser surgery to correct his vision, so Kyungsoo could wear his glasses without suspicion.) As Minseok started curling the wig hair – which Kyungsoo couldn’t wait until he didn’t have to have the curly hair anymore; he had insisted that the next concept he would have a straight, jagged hairstyle – Sehun began brushing cover-up onto his face, and he closed his eyes. Still, he knew Joonmyun was sitting beside him.

“So, Kyungsoo,” the older said. “How was school? Were you alright after the concert?”

“I was pretty tired all day,” Kyungsoo admitted. “I dunno how well I’ll do at this interview.”

Joonmyun hummed. “Yeah. I’m sure you’ll be fine. We’ll finish you up quick and you can take a power nap. Have you eaten?” Kyungsoo grunted a no sound. “You should eat before your makeup is done. And then brush your teeth.”

“Just don’t do around my mouth, Sehun,” Kyungsoo told him. “Try and get the rest of me done, though. We don’t have a lot of time today.”

“That’s not my fault,” Sehun said grouchily, blending makeup onto his forehead. “You’re the one who always makes your schedules so close to the end of school.”

“Yeah, well, you still have to get my makeup done.”

Kyungsoo’s makeup took a lot longer than the average idol. He had to undergo a complete transformation, which Sehun was amazing at doing (even if Kyungsoo didn’t let him know enough). His whole eye-shape would be reformed, the shadows and highlights making his eyes so dark and mysterious, and then on top of that colour would be added to go with whatever the concept of the era was. Somehow, Sehun could make his nose look smaller, and his lips less full too. He was so incredible; Kyungsoo would look in the mirror and he couldn’t even find himself when Sehun was done with him. (And maybe that was part of why his friends couldn’t figure it out, but he still thought they just weren’t trying hard enough.)

An hour later, having eaten a snack, brushed his teeth, had his makeup completed and wig curled, and thrown on a pair of shoes with lifts in them, he was ready to go. They headed over to the radio station early (they being Kyungsoo – now Joe –, Joonmyun, Jongdae, and Sehun, since Minseok was off to meet Luhan of course), though several fans were already there, waiting outside. They screamed when his car pulled up, and Joonmyun quickly led him inside, past everyone.

While Kyungsoo was waiting for his time, the radio MC announced that Joe Munroe was in the building, and fifteen minutes before his interview started, he was called up to say a quick greeting and tell everyone not to change their radio channel. Kyungsoo spotted cameras on him, and immediately felt his mindset changing into Joe’s. He was no longer the dorky gay kid in eleventh grade. He was the guy everyone loved; the voice thousands of people were waiting desperately to hear; the idol who had the power to turn people gay themselves. Despite his efforts to remain humble, he couldn’t help knowing who he was, and what he could do. And since he spent his days being at the bottom, he just liked being at the top for a while, so yeah, it got to him.

The interview was only an hour long, and most of the questions were expected as it was. When they got around to asking what was next to be expected from Joe, Kyungsoo told them about his new album, the release date just two weeks away, as well as everything that would come with it. New era, new concept, new single, new concert dates. Soon after, Kyungsoo was being informed of the hundreds of calls coming into the station, thousands of messages flooding his fanboard, people messaging him and his company on various websites. This was usual.

However, when one question was asked about his writing process – since everyone knew he wrote his own songs – he admitted he had just begun writing a song today, and then a spew of questions were thrown at him about it. He said it wouldn’t be on the next album, but he would work on it and maybe it would be a single later or something. The more he talked about it, the more he was thinking why he’d started writing it, in class this morning – though he’d now transcribed what he had onto his phone – about all his frustrations revolving Kim Jongin. Admittedly, he’d written several songs about Jongin, and fans had noticed over the years how these songs had gone from being very upbeat and in love on a gradual slope down. What would they think of this one?

“Could you sing us a line?” the MC asked him. Kyungsoo bit his lip. He hadn’t really thought about melodies or anything much yet.

“I haven’t decided on what the sound will be for it yet,” he admitted. However, the MC told him to give them something anyway, and Kyungsoo sang the line that stuck out the most to him – definitely one that would be in the chorus. When he was done, the other clapped for him.

“That sounds like a sad song,” the MC said. “Will it be?”

“Yes,” Kyungsoo answered definitely.

“Well, we’ll open a chat on the radio’s website, and everyone can tell us what they think about it. We’ll read your comments after this song break!”

Oh boy. The fans always were so possessive, they were all going to be jealous and saying “who broke your heart?” and whatnot. Ugh. Kyungsoo hated that. He hated it because it was annoying, but he hated it more because Jongin was just like that. He was so jealous any time Joe ever even talked to a fan, let alone wrote a song about someone. Kyungsoo preferred to avoid the topic when he was asked about his love life (since it was dead all the time anyway), because the next day (and like, month) he had to hear Jongin whining about everything he’d said.

Kyungsoo hoped the MC didn’t ask him about it today, because he had a feeling he would spill everything if the guy did. He was just in such an emotionally wrecked mood.

After a few minutes, they were back on air, and they pulled up all the comments people had said about the song for Kyungsoo to see. Most of them were just “OPPA” and incoherent keyboard smashes and “I LOVE YOU”s. Kyungsoo didn’t even feel like choosing a question, but the MC picked the first for him.

“Ah, this one,” the man pointed. “’Oppa, did you break up with your girlfriend?’ Do you have a girlfriend, Joe? I didn’t know about this.”

“No,” Kyungsoo quickly denied. “No, no, I don’t. I haven’t dated anyone recently.” Or ever.

“So no break ups?”

“No.” He forced a laugh.

The MC found another one. “’The song sounds sad. Is it about someone, or just something that came to mind?’ Ah, you write songs just when you feel a certain mood, I think she means. And see, the next question, ‘Oppa looks sad today, and he wrote a sad song too. It seems like he is heartbroken. Why?’”

Kyungsoo hesitated. He looked sad? Was it that obvious? “Well,” he said slowly, thinking of something appropriate. “I guess I’m sad that my last promotions are over. And… to be honest, when I was writing this today, I was upset. I have some friends who are so obsessed with some idols and don’t really pay attention to me or our other friends. They’re so in love with idols that they don’t realize people are in love with them.” He sighed, stopping there. He knew not to divulge too much more. “So, to my fans, please love me a lot, but love your friends too.” Jongin was listening, and so was Baekhyun. He hoped both of them would actually take his advice.

His time ended not long after, and he thanked the host and radio and all his fans for letting him be there, promising that album pre-ordering and concert tickets would be available on his website, and tour dates would be posted too. Then he was being hurried out and back to his company building, Jongdae talking to him about everything he had said. Apparently, he hadn’t worded his speech about “loving your friends” well. People were already asking if he was in love with one of his friends, and how his friends weren’t in love with him, since he was an idol too. He didn’t want to say anything more about it, and told Jongdae he wouldn’t be clarifying anything. People could think what they wanted.

The following day, there were dozens of articles posted about how Joe Munroe was in love with someone, and of course Jongin and Baekhyun were talking about it non-stop. They both went on angrily about it, wondering how anyone could not be in love with Joe. Kyungsoo and Chanyeol went ignored, still. Apparently the other two hadn’t heard the part about paying more attention to their friends.

“Yeah, but guys,” their friend Kris put in. “You’re doing exactly what he said not to do – you’re obsessing over him and ignoring all of us.” At least someone had been listening. Kris was a super closet Joe lover. Okay, he didn’t deny the fact that he liked Joe, but he denied the extent of his love for Joe. Like, he just pretended he only liked Joe’s music and didn’t know that much about him, but he was as much as a fangirl as Baekhyun and Jongin. Which they all knew, and he seemed to think they didn’t know. They all liked to make fun of him for it.

“How would you know what he said?” Baekhyun shot at him. “Were you watching the interview?”

“Well, you know,” Kris said awkwardly. “I just, uh, had nothing else to do yesterday, so I might have watched a few minutes or whatever.” Baekhyun rolled his eyes, laughing.

“Uh huh,” he said with a smirk. “I think you all know we love you, we don’t ignore you at all.” He glanced at Chanyeol, smiling winningly. “Right?” Chanyeol just threw an arm around his shoulder, returning a less-enthusiastic smile and nodding. “The only one who doesn’t pay attention to us is Yixing.”

The all turned to look at Yixing, who was staring at the ceiling. Seeming to realize he was being watched, he said, “Bro,” and Kyungsoo snorted, anticipating the speech that would follow. “But like, the ceiling. It’s so – bro, it’s spaghetti. Amazing.” Their eyes glanced up at the ceiling, which sort of did have a spaghetti-looking pattern, but it wasn’t that interesting. Apparently it was to Yixing though, because he went on. “It’s just, like, dancing. It’s free. Man, the ceiling…”

“Yixing.”

Yixing’s eyes grew wide for a moment. “Bro – I hear you. It’s speaking to me. I know, man. We need to be free together.” His head started swaying to some unknown music, and he seemed to be dancing along to the ceiling’s “rhythm”, which he started going on about. Kyungsoo wondered how they had picked up their stoner friend. Actually, he was pretty sure Yixing had just sort of shown up one day, and they’d just kind of gone with it. He was great for a good laugh, and would randomly spout words of wisdom. Today was just a day he was having a spiritual connection with the ceiling. They went back to their own conversations.

“See?” Baekhyun noted. “Me and Jong are great friends.”

“Yeah, with each other,” Kyungsoo muttered. Jongin turned to look at him with a frown.

“Hm? You’re not feeling left out too, hyung?” Jongin asked him. Kyungsoo just looked away, taking a sip from his juice box. After a second, he felt something brushing along his back, then taking hold of his waist. Long fingers that took a firm grip on him, pulling him to the side – to Jongin’s side. Kyungsoo looked back at him, their faces now much closer than before, and Jongin was pouting. Kyungsoo flicked his lower lip pointedly, and the boy cracked a smile. “We can talk about something else, if you want, Soo. At least for the next two weeks.”

“What else do you even wanna talk about?” Kyungsoo asked quietly. “You don’t care about anything but Joe.”

“That’s not true!”

“Whatever.”

“Fine. Baek, no more talking about Joe when we’re with our friends, okay?”

Baekhyun raised an eyebrow. “Fine with me, if you can still keep conversations interesting.”

Jongin looked back to Kyungsoo. “What should we talk about then?”

Kyungsoo shrugged. “It’s Chanyeol’s birthday soon.” He didn’t care what they talked about, as long as it wasn’t how in love with Joe Jongin was and how he obviously didn’t like Kyungsoo at all. Since Jongin's arm remained around him, Kyungsoo leaned on his shoulder. Screw hiding his emotions right now. He was a mess in his mind lately, and Jongin didn’t care anyway.

“

A few days later, Joonmyun filled in Kyungsoo on his next month of scheduling – and Kyungsoo wasn’t looking forward to it. Since he himself was a high school student, the company thought it would be a good idea for Joe to go around to a few schools on a school tour for a week. Five mornings at five different high schools in the area, and of course he had to go to his own. That wouldn’t be for a couple weeks, but Kyungsoo was still worried. What excuse could he even use when he was missing his morning classes for a whole week?

That wasn’t the worst of it, either. They were also going to be having a contest for one lucky fan to win a date with Joe after a concert. Not that Kyungsoo minded too much. But he was never, ever, ever going to hear the end of it from Jongin. Until the winner was announced, one month from now, and then the concert which would fall only two days after, and the next ten years following because Jongin would be endlessly ranting his jealousy of whoever won for ever. Ugh. Why was Kyungsoo still friends with him?

(Because he was in love with him, like the idiot he was.)

The week of his school tour, his excuses started coming out. On the first day, he showed up at lunch to his questioning friends, saying he had slept in and his mom hadn’t been there to wake him up, so he hadn’t woken until an hour earlier, blah blah. The next day, he had been “feeling sick”, but was well enough to come for the afternoon. After that, he claimed to have had a doctor’s appointment, since his mother was worrying about him being sick. However, that day, Jongin threatened Kyungsoo that if he didn’t come Thursday morning, he would have to kill him. Because Thursday was the day Joe would be at the school, and Kyungsoo could not miss that.

“Right,” Kyungsoo said. “I’ll definitely be skipping tomorrow, then.”

“Yah, Kyungsoo – you can’t! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease,” Jongin begged. Kyungsoo stared him down as if he were unmoved, despite how hard he found it to deny Jongin. Even if he wanted to go, he couldn’t anyway. “Please, hyung, please just go for me. I swear you won’t regret it.”

“I’ll pass,” Kyungsoo told him quietly, wishing he could say yes instead. Jongin looked genuinely disappointed. “Like you’d notice if I was there or not anyway. As soon as you see him the rest of the world will cease to exist in your eyes.”

“I would so notice,” Jongin mumbled.

“Please,” Kyungsoo scoffed grumpily. “You notice me about as much as Baekhyun notices Chanyeol.”

Oops. He shouldn’t have said that. Way to give himself away much. He meant it, but he hadn’t meant to say it. Because it was extremely suggestive, because even Jongin could see that Chanyeol liked Baekhyun and went completely ignored. Kyungsoo might have just outed himself like a total idiot. Maybe he’d be lucky and Jongin wouldn’t think about it, like he did with everything else Kyungsoo said.

He wasn’t so lucky. “Huh? What’s that supposed to mean?”

Kyungsoo gulped. “Oh – just – you know, Baekhyun and Chanyeol are, er, best friends but Baek never even pays attention to Chanyeol at all and, well, we’re kind of that way too, right? We’re basically the year-younger version of them.”

“Oh,” Jongin nodded, lines still creasing his forehead. “I thought you meant like – don’t you think Chanyeol has a thing for Baek?”

So Jongin was suspicious, but Kyungsoo might be able to play it off. He forced a laugh. “Oh, ha, yeah. I mean, it does sort of seem like there’s something there, huh?” He raised a suggestive eyebrow, and then gave what was hopefully a shocked look. “Wait – you thought I meant – you and me -?”

Jongin laughed awkwardly too. “Um, yeah, I kinda thought so. Just ‘cause, you know, you’re, well… Anyway, I’m sure you would never like me anyway.”

“Gay,” Kyungsoo filled in, weighing the word slowly. “You won’t become gay if you say it; I’m not sure what’s so scary about it. You’re gay for Joe. And don’t even try to deny it,” he added as Jongin opened his mouth to protest. “I have seen your fanfics you write about you and him, I know you have dirty thoughts about him.”

Jongin turned bright red at his accusation, stammering and stuttering in his defense, but they both knew Kyungsoo was right anyway. After that, Jongin didn’t say anything more, and Kyungsoo avoided the topic of him attending Joe’s meeting.

The following morning, Kyungsoo was up early as usual, heading down to the company building to get ready for the day. He just had to be there for two hours, up on stage in the auditorium; sing a couple songs, answer some questions, do a bit of fanservice, and hope Jongin wasn’t in the front row or somewhere Kyungsoo would be able to see him. He bothered Sehun and Minseok to make sure he was particularly perfect today, his hair perfectly straight, makeup flawless and hiding everything. There was a pair of thick-bottomed shoes to add to the height his lifts were already giving him, and he layered up his clothing, too – a white t-shirt, a black shirt over that with shoulder padding, and an elegant black jacket on top. And then it was off to his school, where the waiting game would be short. For once, he wasn’t at all nervous. He was anticipating. And Joonmyun could tell.

“You are not allowed to take off the wig, got that?” he ordered Kyungsoo. “You are Joe Munroe. No showing up all the people out there just because they don’t like Do Kyungsoo.” Kyungsoo rolled his eyes but nodded. He knew that already. However, when he was on the stage and all his peers were cheering for him wildly, it was a bit harder to resist. If only they knew who he really was. It was too bad he couldn’t reveal it.

His eyes scanned the crowd automatically, looking for the face he was hoping not to see. He didn’t find Jongin, but he knew the boy was somewhere around.

“Hello everyone, I’m Joe,” Kyungsoo introduced himself. They all cheered, and Kyungsoo had to remain smiling, which was a feat. “You have me for the next few hours, so please be nice to me.” Again, they applauded and shouted. Now he was pretty, so they would be nice. Of course.

He told them about what he would do for the next two hours, and then launched into a song, which they all sang along to. A few songs later, Kyungsoo got to sit on a stool and talk to the audience, answering their questions. He would point at one of the students and they would yell their question. At first he was avoiding trying to see Jongin, but soon he found himself actually looking for the boy. Where was he? Kyungsoo couldn’t find Baekhyun either. There was no way they had actually skipped today, though. Seriously, they couldn’t have. Unless they had caused such a big scene that they’d been kicked out. Oh gosh. Kyungsoo actually felt bad for them if they had. But then, they were stupid and if they had done that, they deserved it. Idiots.

As it had been the past few days, after a bunch of questions from the audience, Kyungsoo announced that he’d be bringing some of them up on stage to ask their questions face-to-face with him. Also, all the lucky fans chosen to come up would receive his new signed CD. He saw some of his management team going out into the crowd and pulling people out, and while this was happening, he was given his acoustic guitar so he could play a song to pass the time. Usually, he played one of the slower songs on his album; however, today he felt like playing something different.

“I’d like to play a song for you guys,” he announced. “That I’ve never played for anyone else before. I haven’t even recorded it yet.” They all screamed enthusiastically, and he grinned. However, the grin faded. “I wrote it less than a month ago, and I took a week or so to get the lyrics. Ever since, I’ve been working through the melody. Even now, I think it’s in progress, but you should all hear it anyway.” The crowd was going insane, but he didn’t want that. He shushed them, and waited for them to quiet down before going on. “It’s a slow song, about – about someone I know.” They all “aww”ed. “A friend of mine, who frustrates me a lot. You have no idea. Anyway, I’ll play it now.”

He began strumming, and there were a few cheers, but then everyone became quiet as he began singing, listening to the lyrics. All of his pent up frustrations and agony. It was a really depressing song, and he knew that, but he was hoping that Jongin was hearing it. Kyungsoo closed his eyes and thought of the other boy, singing it to him. By the second chorus, his throat was thick and his breath was coming harder, and when he reached the end of the bridge tears were slipping out through his lashes and he had to take a second to recompose himself. Damn you, Kim Jongin. He made it through the last few lines and wiped wetness off his cheeks, and then Joonmyun’s voice was in his ear telling him to get off stage so his makeup could be fixed. He asked the crowd to give him a moment, and then hurried off, finding Sehun and letting the boy fix him up. Jongdae was in his ear the whole time.

“Damn it, Kyungsoo,” he huffed. “You can’t go off schedule like that. You can’t play an unrecorded song. And you can’t cry your makeup off, either! What are you trying to accomplish here? These people, of all your audiences – these people know you! When you get back out there, you stick to what you’re supposed to do, understand?”

Fortunately, Sehun worked fast and Kyungsoo didn’t have to put up with Jongdae’s nagging for long, but he promised his publicist he would behave for the rest of the set. They were only a little more than halfway through, Kyungsoo needed to keep it together to make the rest.

“Sorry everyone,” he called as he re-entered the stage. There were many shouts of “Are you okay, oppa?” and he nodded, giving a smile to re-assure them all. “So I hear I have a bunch of lucky fans waiting to meet me!” He glanced off to the other side of the stage, where he could see people lined up and waiting. “I’m waiting to meet you too! Let’s not wait any longer, shall we? Please come out.”

A girl came out, bowing and holding out her hand, which Kyungsoo shook. She asked him if he had a girlfriend, and he told her he didn’t. Then she asked if she could be his girlfriend, and he laughed but told her his heart was already taken. Everyone gave another “aww”, and the girl went off. Kyungsoo just smiled like he was supposed to, and turned to beckon the next person. His heart almost stopped as he saw Kim Jongin on the side of the stage, waiting at the front of the line.

Well. At least Kyungsoo found him.

Slightly dazed, Kyungsoo grew extremely self-conscious. This was Jongin’s first time actually meeting Joe. What if he saw right through him? Oh gosh, this was going to be a stressful time, no matter how short.

Kyungsoo made it worse when he asked, “Where were you sitting?” as soon as Jongin was in hearing range. Jongin’s eyes just widened, and he seemed unable to answer. What kind of question is that? Why would Joe even ask something like that? Kyungsoo thought quickly, and then tacked on, “I mean, for you to be so close to the front of the line. You must’ve been up front, right?”

Jongin seemed to come out of his daze, and pointed to the corner of the stage. “I’m sitting over there.” Kyungsoo looked, and suddenly caught sight of Chanyeol, Yixing, and Kris. They were very well hidden; no wonder Kyungsoo hadn’t been able to see his friends.

“Can you see from there?” Kyungsoo asked him lightly, trying to just treat him like any other fan now. Jongin nodded, and Kyungsoo smiled. “Good. What did you want to ask me?” He held out the mic for Jongin to speak into. Jongin stared right into Kyungsoo’s eyes as he spoke.

“I wanted to know – wow, you’re so beautiful…” Jongin’s eyes widened again, and he blushed violently as everyone laughed. Kyungsoo just offered him a smile. “Sorry, I’ve only ever seen you on screen, and from far away…” Jongin mumbled. “A-anyway. I had a lot of things I was thinking about asking, but when you played that song, I was thinking about it. You said you don’t have a girlfriend-”

“I don’t have a boyfriend either,” Kyungsoo put in, and the crowd laughed again. “Before you ask.”

“Oh,” Jongin nodded. “I wasn’t going to ask that, but that’s good to know. Anyway, um, are you – you said your heart is taken, too. Does that mean you’re in love with someone?”

Kyungsoo swallowed hard. He could just imagine the meltdown Jongdae was having right now, likely praying that Kyungsoo would answer this right. Sorry, I’m going to disappoint you, Jongdae. So much for sticking to the plan.

“I am,” Kyungsoo confessed, and there were many gasps, followed by cheers and “oooh”s in the audience. “I don’t know if the song would affect me as much as it did if I wasn’t.”

“Can I ask you something else?” Jongin wondered. Kyungsoo raised an eyebrow, but still held the mic for him. “If you’re in love with someone, why aren’t you dating them?”

Kyungsoo laughed. “Why are you all so interested in who I like?” But Jongin still waited for an answer, and Kyungsoo was happy to keep his eyes very intentionally on the younger. “Fine then. I’m not dating them because they don’t pay any attention to me.”

“It’s the same person from last month, right?” Jongin asked. “You mentioned them in one of your radio interviews. The one who only cares about other idols.”

In his mind, Kyungsoo was rolling his eyes so hard they were twisting out of his sockets. “You remind me of that friend. You’re not so obsessed with me that you ignore your friends, right?” Jongin shook his head furiously. Liar. “Are you sure?”

“My friends like you too, so it’s okay.”

“All of your friends like me?” Kyungsoo asked skeptically. Jongin just shrugged.

“Not as much as me, but yeah,” he answered. “That person you like, if they don’t like you back, why don’t you move on?”

Because I’m an idiot and don’t know how to move on from you. “I’ve liked them for a long time, and I guess I haven’t been able to get over it.” Jongin seemed disappointed that Joe wasn’t interested in him, but had someone else, and Kyungsoo was kind of happy about that because now you know how I feel. “Anyway, I need to move on to the next fan. Thanks for your question!”

At Kyungsoo’s abruptness, Jongin’s face fell, but he bowed and thanked Joe for his time, before slowly moving off the stage. However, Kyungsoo couldn’t escape, because the next person was Baekhyun. Kyungsoo looked down the line, but this seemed to be the last of his friends that he would have to confront.

Kyungsoo could see Baekhyun’s phone in his hand, and when he reached him, Baekhyun held it up. Kyungsoo waited in confusion.

“My question is – can I get a selca with you?”

Kyungsoo snorted. Gosh, Baekhyun was such a… ugh. While everyone was laughing, Kyungsoo looked back offstage to get his management’s approval, and after receiving a reluctant nod, Kyungsoo turned back to Baekhyun and told him he could. In a flash, Baekhyun grabbed hold of him, but then he passed his phone to Kyungsoo, asking him to take the photo because he was too excited. Kyungsoo took the phone and felt himself being pulled ever closer to Baekhyun. Throwing up Joe’s signature peace sign beside his eye, Kyungsoo counted them in. When he reached three, he felt something wet against his cheek, and the camera clicked. In a second, the place was filled with screaming, and Kyungsoo was pulling away in surprise. He should’ve known Baekhyun would do something like that, but he didn’t think the boy would actually be bold enough to kiss him.

Baekhyun took his phone back quickly, face slightly pink as he reviewed the picture. He beamed at it and then gave Kyungsoo a cheesy wink.

“Yah, you weren’t supposed to do that!” Kyungsoo said, breaking character for a moment. He wasn’t even bothered by it, just surprised more than anything. Baekhyun didn’t even look that sorry.

“If you wanna try again, I won’t mind if you kiss me back,” Baekhyun joked. Or, Kyungsoo thought he was joking.

“I’ll pass,” Kyungsoo replied, and Baekhyun seemed a bit let down by it, as if he’d somehow expected a different answer. “Okay – no more kissing me, please, anyone. You, go,” he told Baekhyun. “And the next person, please come up.”

Things were pretty calm after that. Kyungsoo got a lot of the usual questions, no one else tried to kiss him, and things were reasonably smooth. It didn’t make up for all the other things that had happened, and Kyungsoo was going to be in hell from Jongdae, but overall it was a pretty alright fanmeet/concert/whatever. Kyungsoo went back at the end and had his makeup quickly scrubbed off and his wig pulled out, changing back into his normal clothes. Once all traces of Joe were gone, Kyungsoo headed for the cafeteria. He still had about two minutes when he arrived before lunch officially started, and for that he was grateful.

When his friends showed up, they yelled at him for not showing, and then told him everything that had happened that morning.

“I don’t even need to go,” Kyungsoo said. “You guys tell me everything anyway. And why the hell would you kiss him, Baekhyun?”

“So he’ll remember me, obviously.”

“Did you even tell him your name?”

Baekhyun paled, eyes filling with realization and regret. Chanyeol burst into laughter as the boy face-planted onto the table, groaning in misery. Yixing broke out into a rendition of “Let It Go”, changing the words to “He’d never remember you anyway”, and they all chortled while Baekhyun pouted.

Anticipating his friends to talk about Joe for the rest of lunch, Kyungsoo pulled out his phone and, carefully hiding his screen, tapped out a message on his fan café board. It was a simple thank you to his high school for the fun morning, but after sending it out he quickly switched tabs, because all of his friends’ phones went off and he didn’t want to raise suspicion. None of them paid any attention to him anyway, because Baekhyun and Jongin were immediately whipping their phones out and being over-excited about Joe’s message.

“

Things didn’t settle down after that. With the tour coming up and the album release, and the contest to have a date with Joe now only a week away, Kyungsoo’s life was a mess of stress. Jongin and Baekhyun became entirely out of hand, even Kris cracking now and then to squeal in a very manly way when Baekhyun would update them all on whatever was happening. Chanyeol was becoming depressed from the impressive ignoring Baekhyun was doing towards him, and all of them had seriously considered smacking Baekhyun at some point (even Jongin), though no one was sympathetic for Kyungsoo (which meant he apparently hid his affections towards Jongin well). At least he’d gotten the boy a birthday present. Meanwhile, his management team was going crazy trying to get everything together and everything was closing in and, yeah, Kyungsoo was stressed.

The day the contest ended, Kyungsoo was made to record a video that would be live-streamed online as he personally called the winner to let them know they had won. As Kyungsoo was having his makeup done, Joonmyun came in, and Kyungsoo did not like the worried look torturing his features. What was wrong now?

“If it isn’t important, save it until after the broadcast, hyung,” Kyungsoo told him immediately when he was in earshot. Joonmyun shook his head.

“It’s about the contest,” he replied quietly.

“O-kay. What about it?” Kyungsoo could feel a nervous monster clawing in his stomach as the older continued to look reluctant to speak. Joonmyun went to shoo Sehun away, but Kyungsoo just said, “I don’t have time right now. Unless the show is cancelled or something, I need to be on in a few minutes, so just tell me what it is.”

Joonmyun inhaled deeply. “Well… You can’t get mad at me, okay? I tried to talk them into changing it, but they said it’s final and it would be unfair to do a redraw.” Kyungsoo’s stomach dropped. What was that supposed to mean? Joonmyun didn’t give him time to speak. “I had to come tell you the winner anyway, but you’re not gonna like it.”

And before Joonmyun even told him, he knew what it meant. And he wasn’t doing it. Nope. He did not sign up for this, no, this was not fair nor was it justified and no. No. He would go out and announce he was resigning, because there was no way he was going to go and call Kim Jongin right now and tell him they were going to meet.

He had thought Jongin losing would be bad, but at least he had prepared for it. He had never even considered that Jongin might actually win, and there was no way this was actually happening.

“I’m not – no, I refuse,” Kyungsoo said weakly, shaking his head. “I can’t.”

“You don’t have a choice,” Joonmyun told him sadly. Kyungsoo wanted to bury his head in his hands, but Sehun was forcing him to keep his chin up as he lined his eyes with dark makeup. Please just let me die now.

As if he was actually having to go on a date with Jongin. As if he hadn’t dreamed about that for years. But it wasn’t even real. It wasn’t even him. He was finally getting his chance with Jongin, but Jongin wasn’t interested in him, and that was never how it was supposed to be. This couldn’t be real. What torturous god had decided to pull this on him? Kyungsoo would never forgive anyone who was involved in this, ever, ever ever ever ever ever. Screw everything.

“I’m retiring,” he announced. “I’m giving my two minute’s notice and packing it in. It was nice knowing you all, but I’m done.”

“You can’t do that, Kyungsoo,” Joonmyun sighed.

“Too bad.” He frowned, trying to think of anything, and Sehun smacked his cheek, forcing him to relax his face again. “But he’s a guy. All the girls will freak, and no one will allow it.”

Joonmyun raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Kyungsoo, you’re one of the biggest voices in advocating gay rights. If any does this, it’ll be you. You can get away with this kind of thing.”

“No…”

His complaining was useless, but he couldn’t stop. This was genuinely the worst thing to ever happen in his career, and probably his life. Sure, Jongin – straight, non-Kyungsoo liking Jongin – had fallen for Joe, and that had and never stopped . But now, his first date, and with Jongin, and just everything… Kyungsoo found himself praying to be struck by lightning, to have the ceiling collapse on him or to have a severe allergic reaction to the products Sehun was using on him. Of course, none of that happened, and just ten minutes later he was being pushed out onto a stool in front of a green screen, a microphone in front of his mouth and cue cards held up so he knew what to say. The red light meant he was on air, but Kyungsoo just didn’t know how to function properly.

Somewhere in his mind, a small part of practical reasoning took over, forcing his mouth into action and allowing him to greet the camera and explain what was going on. The contest was over, a winner had been chosen. They would be calling that person right now, so please have your phones ready. He didn’t use his own phone, of course, because he couldn’t let his number get out, but someone’s phone was hooked up to a speaker, the ringing echoing in the studio room. After a couple of rings, Kyungsoo laughed nervously.

“Shouldn’t you answer on the first ring?” he joked awkwardly. “Maybe we should hang up and call-”

“Oh my gosh hyung I’m so sorry my ringer was turned off please don’t hang up on me I’m here!”

Kyungsoo would’ve laughed if it was any other voice. Jongin sounded so full of desperation that Kyungsoo felt bad for him, and wanted to reach through the camera and pat the boy’s head (and then flick his forehead because he was a brat). But still, it was Jongin, and Kyungsoo wasn’t accepting it, but he knew his defeat had come, and he had to get through this either way.

“Am I your hyung?” Kyungsoo asked. “Not oppa?”

“No, I’m a guy,” Jongin replied, and his voice was cracking with excitement. “Oh my gosh, did I really win?”

“Um, yeah, I guess so.” Kyungsoo’s smile was so fake, he knew everyone would see right through it. “Congratulations.” His cue card was changed, listed with things he should say to the winner. He ignored them. “If you don’t mind me asking, does that mean you’re gay, then?”

“Huh? No!” He sounded so adamantly against the idea, it made Kyungsoo feel a bit sick. “Not – not that that’s bad or anything, but I’m not. Definitely not.” Kyungsoo just nodded, and out of the corner of his eye he could see Jongdae, gesturing at his mouth pointedly. Smile!

“Why would you enter a contest to go on a date with me, then?” And by now, Kyungsoo wasn’t sure he was actually trying to be the nice and wonderful Joe, or if this was just Kyungsoo scolding Jongin for being a twit. Jongdae was gone, probably crying somewhere.

“I really love you, Joe!” Jongin replied, protesting and whiny. Kyungsoo didn’t even want to talk to him anymore.

“Well, anyway, congratulations on winning. I guess we’ll meet in a couple days. Stay on the line so we can get more information, go over the rules and whatnot. Thank you.”

And he got up from his seat and left, never having asked Jongin’s name or anything. Jongdae was going to straight-up murder him, but Kyungsoo would welcome that.

He wasn’t even sure why he was so mad all of a sudden, but his blood felt like it was boiling and the moment he left the recording room he ripped off his wig, pulling out pins and his own hair in the process. He shed Joe’s stupid fancy clothes and hurried to the bathroom to scrub all Joe’s stupid makeup off his face. Anything to do with Joe, Kyungsoo couldn’t stand right now.

I really love you, Joe!

Joe.

As Kyungsoo stared at himself in the mirror, black makeup streaming all over his face and giving him a very Winter Soldier look, he realized that this wasn’t a bad thing after all. This date – it was a golden opportunity for him.

Jongin thought he loved Joe? Wait until he met him.

“

The contest results stirred up a lot of controversy, to which Kyungsoo really wasn’t surprised, however it wasn’t so much that the fans were against a male winner, but the fact that Joe seemed to be against the idea. The way Joe had acted on the broadcast had definitely not gone unnoticed by the thousands of females who had been vying to win the date with Joe, and they were causing all sorts of trouble saying that Jongin didn’t deserve to win and someone else – a female – should be chosen. Kyungsoo did feel a little guilty seeing all the girls at their school glaring at Jongin wherever he went, but he thought this would be a good thing. After Jongin met “Joe” and realized that the idol was actually not that great, on top of all the crap he was getting for it, maybe Jongin would back off.

On the day of the concert, Jongin was bouncing throughout every class. Meanwhile, Baekhyun was dying because Jongin had won and he was equal parts excited and utterly jealous. The only ones in their friend group who didn’t care were Kyungsoo, of course, and Yixing, who didn’t seem to realize what was going on (big surprise). The older had been going on about purple elephants bombarding his home and traipsing around it all night, not allowing anyone to get in or out (though he’d managed to slip by them to get to school this morning). Still, Kyungsoo would rather listen to his tales than Jongin and the rest right now.

“You should definitely try to kiss him,” Baekhyun was saying. “Or take him home. One, so you know where he lives, and two, so you can find out who tops.” The older gave a wink.

“If you even think about ually harassing him,” Kyungsoo warned. “I will personally kill you. He has fans attacking him all the time. You don’t need to be an too.”

“Since when are you defensive of Joe?” Chanyeol put in quietly. The boy had been more put out than usual ever since Jongin’s win, because Baekhyun had gone completely gaga and Chanyeol’s heart was visibly breaking. As always, Baekhyun noticed nothing.

“It’s not about Joe,” Kyungsoo answered grumpily. “It’s about a human, who doesn’t deserve all the harassment he gets.”

“What should I do then, Kyungsoo?” Jongin asked, sounding genuinely interested in the other’s opinion.

“I don’t know,” Kyungsoo snapped, and then he bit his cheek, reminding himself that he wasn’t supposed to be rude to Jongin.  He leaned on Jongin’s shoulder. “Just be nice. Don’t be touchy, don’t ask for a picture, don’t be an annoying fangirl. Don’t be obsessively in love with him; pretend he’s me or something, just a friend you have no feelings for.”

“Yeah, but if it’s you, I’ll still wanna be close to him,” Jongin sighed, arm going around Kyungsoo’s waist.

“Well, pretend he’s a girl or something,” Kyungsoo shrugged, feeling grouchy as ever. Sure, Jongin was close to him, because they were friends, and friends were close. But friends weren’t close romantically. Nor will we ever be. Even if Jongin wasn’t totally stupid and realized Joe was Kyungsoo, he’d just stop liking Joe the way he did.

The end of the school day came too soon, and Kyungsoo was shuffled from car to the company building to van to the concert hall, where he threw on his wig and changed his outfit and went out to rehearse. With a little over an hour until the concert began, he was thrown into a stage outfit and plunked in the makeup chair, putting up with Sehun complaining and Minseok encouraging as they worked over him. Before long there was announcements of one-minute-to-stage, and Kyungsoo was beneath the stage, ready to go up. He wasn’t nervous, even knowing Jongin was in the crowd. He was ready to perform.

Unlike the rest of the day, the concert went by slowly. Kyungsoo sang song after song, room filled with cheering fans. He danced the choreographed moves he knew, and free-styled when nothing was pre-made for him (even though he knew he couldn’t dance at all; the fans thought he was cute, so whatever). For the second time, he played the song he’d written recently about Jongin, though this time he didn’t cry. Again, he couldn’t find Jongin in the crowd, but he didn’t care too much. He would see the boy soon enough.

Too soon.

Usually, Kyungsoo got to enjoy the end of a concert; getting to return backstage and have his clothes, hair, and makeup removed, transforming back into himself. He didn’t even monitor himself until the next day because he just got to enjoy it all being done for the night. However, today was different. Today when the concert ended at ten, he wasn’t allowed to go home and sleep; he had a date.

Touch-ups were done to his appearance and he was given more casual attire (meaning, too fancy to look regular but not special enough to wear on stage) to change into. Then he was thrown in a car that would take him to the restaurant he would have his date in (the location was secret to everyone but the contest organizers so fans wouldn’t be able to find it – though they would anyway). Jongin had been provided his own car after the concert that would take him to the same place, and they would meet up there. He would already be there when Kyungsoo arrived.

Kyungsoo was walked into the place by his crew, quickly seeing cameras everywhere. They saw him even faster than he saw them, and right away there were a couple in his face. He threw up a peace sign for them and faked a grin. This would all air next week, which he was grateful for, because he didn’t need the added pressure of filming live.

When Kyungsoo reached Jongin, the younger was already standing and bowed. He was wearing his concert clothes, which looked amazing on him – everything far too tight and hypnotic – and Kyungsoo guessed it was Baekhyun who had drawn on his eyeliner for him. Kyungsoo hated Jongin in eyeliner; the sight always made him tongue-tied.

Knowing the cameras were rolling, Kyungsoo said smoothly, “You’re far better-looking than I imagined,” making Jongin’s eyes widen. He stammered out a thank you and then introduced himself, and Kyungsoo tried not to roll his eyes. Worse, he said Joe was smaller than he’d expected (had he not realized this last time they met?), but he liked it, and thought it was cute.

Kyungsoo was very smooth and nice the entire time the cameras were on. This was his plan. He talked to Jongin about winning and everything, asked about the concert, and even took a selca with him, posting it to his Instagram. Jongin told Kyungsoo about when they’d met at the school, but Kyungsoo lied and said he was sorry but couldn’t remember. Then they started talking about other things, and Jongin asked if Kyungsoo would ever go on a date with him for real. It was hard not to yell at him at that.

“You should date your own friends,” Kyungsoo told him lightly.

Jongin just laughed. “Well, two of my friends are already basically dating, and my other friend is too high to maintain a relationship, and the other is too tall and awkward and stuff. My friends don’t really give me a lot of options.”

In the corner of his eye, Kyungsoo saw Jongdae snapping his fingers at him, which meant stop scowling, because he undoubtedly was. But hello, Jongin had just listed of his friends and completely forgotten him, how was he supposed to not scowl at that? He forced out a laugh and tried not to sound too venomous when he next spoke.

“And what, you only have four friends?”

“Uh, well there’s one guy that’s…”

“What’s wrong with him?” Kyungsoo wondered challengingly. Careful, he reminded himself. Don’t get emotionally involved. “Is he too tall too?”

“No, no,” Jongin shook his head. “I think you and him are around the same size. He’s nice, but… I dunno, I never thought about him. I’d rather date you,” he admitted with a blush. Kyungsoo laughed at the irony. You don’t even know what you’re saying.

“That’s sweet,” Kyungsoo said, offering an endearing smile at the cameras. “But I think it would be better if you dated someone else. I bet your friend is very nice, you should give him a chance.”

They didn’t talk about it much more after that. The moment the director called cut! Kyungsoo pushed himself away from Jongin far less-than subtly, smile wiping off his face and turning into a very Kyungsoo-ish scowl. In fact, he pushed himself right out of the booth he was sitting in with Jongin and stood, letting Sehun come over to fix his makeup and imitating Sehun’s unimpressed face. It wasn’t hard.

After he sat back down, he pointedly asked if the cameras were on, to which he was answered no, so he remained looking displeased. Jongin watched him – having been unable to take his eyes off him the entire time, which Kyungsoo expected and was taking advantage of – looking a bit put out (good). No doubt he was wondering what he had done wrong, why Joe was acting this way. (Again, good.) Whenever the boy would open his mouth, Kyungsoo would obviously look away, and Jongin wouldn’t say anything. After this happened a few times, Kyungsoo just turned to glare at him.

“Don’t bother talking to me when they aren’t filming,” he told Jongin rudely. Jongin gaped, but then nodded sadly. With that, Kyungsoo snapped his fingers and asked for his bag, which Joonmyun brought to him, looking annoyed but saying nothing. Kyungsoo began pulling things out of it absently, searching for his phone. He had just picked it out when Jongin spoke up.

“Hey, are these yours?” Kyungsoo turned to see Jongin holding up his glasses, and his stomach dropped. “My friend has a pair just like them...” Oh gosh. His nerdy, uniquely ugly-as-hell glasses that seriously no one in the world would ever have, which was exactly why Kyungsoo wore them, but Joe would not have them.

Kyungsoo snatched them back. “Of course not, I don’t wear glasses,” he snapped, throwing them in his bag. “My stylist asked me to hold onto them for him.” Jongin just nodded, going back to not speaking again. Kyungsoo shut his bag and passed it off to Joonmyun again, not wanting anything else in it to betray him.

However, he was betrayed again anyway. Apparently, him bringing out his phone made Jongin feel like using his own, because he took his out and texted someone. And apparently, that someone was Kyungsoo, because a minute later “Joe’s” phone went off. Kyungsoo grabbed it before Jongin would see the screen, but Jongin still seemed suspicious. Had he suspected Joe was Kyungsoo and texted him to try to confirm it?

But the message was a plea for help. “Kyungsoo, it’s not going good, I don’t know what I’m doing wrong ㅠㅠ pls help.” Kyungsoo felt like laughing. He typed back an imaginary message, and then shut his notifications off and put his phone back down.

“Who was that?” Jongin asked him quietly. So much for not talking without the cameras.

“A friend of mine, asking how the date is,” Kyungsoo laughed bitterly.

“Is it the one you’re in love with?”

Kyungsoo didn’t stop from rolling his eyes. “I have more than one friend, you know. But yeah, it is.”

Jongin didn’t speak for a second, but then he continued interviewing, seeming unable to resist. “I asked you about them, when we met at my school. You never specified, and I can’t help wondering… is it a guy?”

“Please,” Kyungsoo scowled. “Just because I advocate for gays doesn’t mean I am one. It’s just part of the image. I couldn’t care less for fags, I just say so to make people think I’m sweet and wonderful.” It was too ironic saying it, and Kyungsoo decided he should become an actor. He was too good at this.

“One of my friends is gay,” Jongin mumbled.

“He’s not my fan, is he?” Kyungsoo asked icily. Jongin shook his head. “Good. I hate when they like me.” He shot a glance at Jongin then, remembering their conversation on camera earlier. “You’re not one too, are you?”

“You mean gay? No, I’m not,” Jongin assured quickly.

“Good,” Kyungsoo repeated. “This enough as it is.” Jongin looked devastated. A moment later the director was telling them they’d be rolling, and began counting down. “Look happy,” Kyungsoo ordered, painting a smile on his own face.

Filming the second half of the date was even more fun than the first half. Kyungsoo went over the top, teasing Jongin playfully, and even going as far as kissing his cheek, which stunned Jongin and made Kyungsoo laugh uproariously. At the end, when they were saying goodbye to the restaurant part of the show, Kyungsoo threw his arm around Jongin warmly and waved goodbye, and then the red light was gone and Kyungsoo all but flew away from Jongin. He ordered Sehun to remove the makeup on his mouth and redo it so he wouldn’t have any remnant of that “disgusting” kiss on him. Sehun obliged, but was glaring far more than usual. None of his staff were happy with him right now, but Kyungsoo didn’t really care.

At last, they had to film their individual interview parts, and Kyungsoo went first, completely over-exaggerating how much fun he had had, and how he’d love to do it again. Then Jongin went, and Kyungsoo was amused watching him. It wasn’t even over then, either, because they had to drop Jongin off at his house, which meant the pair riding in a car together with cameras on them, being expected to interact more. Kyungsoo was happy it was almost over.

“So did you have fun on this date?” Kyungsoo asked cheerily. Jongin just nodded. “Hopefully you’ll go on another date soon, with that friend of yours.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Jongin muttered, and Kyungsoo’s face fell, before he was immediately ignited with rage. He signaled at the cameras to stop filming, and then held himself back from strangling the younger kid.

“Listen here you brat,” he hissed, and Jongin stared up at him, eyes fearful and surprised. “You do not have any chance with me. At all. And you wouldn’t even like me if I was just some other kid at your school anyway – you don’t like me, you just like that I’m an idol, so stop acting like I’m the be-all-end-all.”

Jongin looked shocked at his outburst, and took a moment to pull himself back together. “That’s not true – I think you’re great, hyung.”

“You don’t even know what I’m like!” Kyungsoo yelled, and he was lucky Jongdae wasn’t in the car right now. He’d be dead. “If I was some quiet, smart kid who had a weird sense of humor and didn’t laugh at your jokes and didn’t like the music you like and wore dorky glasses and ugly clothes and didn’t wear makeup and have blond hair, you wouldn’t even look at me! And don’t tell me you would because you wouldn’t!”

“Sure I w-”

“Don’t even,” Kyungsoo snapped. “You would not. What about your friend Do Kyungsoo? You don’t like him!”

“I – what?” Uh. . That was… , he had just said that, . . . “You know Kyungsoo?”

No.

No.

That was too far. Jongin had crossed a line there. The fact that he didn’t deny, didn’t even get what Kyungsoo was implying just… Kyungsoo couldn’t even think to defend himself, he just wanted to kill him.

“You. Are. So. STUPID!” Kyungsoo screamed, and he ripped his wig off, revealing a mess of pinned up, jet-black hair underneath. He grabbed Jongin by the shoulders and shook him, yelling, “I am Kyungsoo, you idiot!”

Jongin’s hands shot out and took hold of Kyungsoo, stopping the boy from shaking him so he could stare at him, eyes blowing wide. He looked him over for a long time, uncertainty turning into recognition. “Oh my gosh…”

“Honestly! We were born in the same year and month, we have the same blood type, we’re from the same town! You texted me earlier and my phone went off – you found my glasses for goodness sake!” Kyungsoo ranted. “Who would ever have those stupid glasses?!”

“Kyungsoo?”

“Yes, I’m Kyungsoo, you stupid brat,” Kyungsoo snapped. “And you only notice me when I’m beautiful and famous and talented, so why would you ever figure it out? You’re too stupid anyway.” He shook Jongin again, and the younger’s grip tightened to stop him. “You’re so stupid.” His vision swam.

“But then… Joe said – you said I should date you, and Joe wrote that song, and he – you’re in love with a friend of yours and – is that-”

“Yes, stupid, it’s you,” Kyungsoo answered, staring up at Jongin, filled with frustration. The younger still looked very disbelieving and confused.

“No – no,” Jongin stated.

“Yes,” Kyungsoo shot back. “I think I know who I like.”

“No,” Jongin repeated. “Because you would’ve told me when you came out to me. Or sometime since. When you said about me and you being like Baek and Chanyeol, you could’ve told me. You wouldn’t not tell me about it, hyung, I know you. You don’t keep secrets, you wouldn’t be ashamed or whatever.”

“I would’ve told you, but you were all in love with Joe,” Kyungsoo retorted, eyes blurring again. “And I didn’t like that you liked me when I wore all this stupid makeup, but you couldn’t notice me when I was standing right beside you. Every single freaking time you mention him, it hurts me and disgusts me; I’ve wanted to quit so many times, because you’re straight but you’ll be gay for him. For me, when I’m beautiful. I can’t even compete with myself. I can’t wear makeup to school because people might recognize me. So I just go around ugly and you don’t like me.”

“You – Kyungsoo, when you came out to me, I started questioning myself,” Jongin told him, and Kyungsoo glared, shaking his head because he didn’t need this. Sympathetic lies, aka, bull. But Jongin kept going. “Because I thought I felt things about you, but then I was waiting for you to say you liked me, and you never did, and I thought – the same thing you did. That you’re gay but not for me. And then Joe came along and it was like, whatever! I mean, Baek was so crazy about you, and he rubbed off on me, I guess. But gosh, why didn’t you tell me before you were Joe?”

“Because you’re stupid and you’re supposed to know! I’m your best friend, you were supposed to figure out how I felt – it wouldn’t have been hard if you opened your freaking eyes!” Kyungsoo cried. He was becoming more frustrated but at the same time losing his will to fight. He didn’t want Jongin to say that he’d liked him and that Kyungsoo had had a chance and messed it up. Because the way Jongin felt about him now was just whatever, apparently, and that was just a punch through his heart. “And because… I don’t know, I’m an idiot too.” He let Jongin go, falling back on his seat and staring up at the ceiling, willing his tears away, but they fell instead.

He wanted to go back to two minutes earlier, and get control of himself, not reveal who he was. Regret had caught up with him quickly, but not fast enough.

“You don’t even look like Kyungsoo,” Jongin muttered, and Kyungsoo gave a humorless laugh.

“Makeup is amazing,” he said coldly. “Even your ugly, runty friends can be transformed into celebrity status with it, who’d’ve guessed?” Then he added to the driver, “Pull the car over. I need Minseok to fix my hair.” He pulled out his phone to text the hairstylist to meet them at the side of the road to help him back to being Joe again. “Anyway,” he went on, to Jongin again. “Now you know. Your mister Perfect is just stupid Do Kyungsoo. I guess you can’t ignore me anymore.”

“I don’t ignore you…”

“No, when I’ve got a wig on I’m all you can think about,” Kyungsoo agreed coolly.

“Kyungsoo, stop saying things like that, okay? It’s not true,” Jongin told him, and Kyungsoo felt his hand being pulled on. He shot a glance Jongin’s way, and was drawn in by warm, pleading eyes. “Come here.”

Kyungsoo swallowed hard, but moved anyway, letting Jongin pull him into his lap and into a hug. His arms went around Jongin’s neck, and he just held on.

“I hate you,” he mumbled, tears falling onto his arm as he tucked his chin into Jongin’s neck. “You make everything in my life .”

“Haven’t I always?” Jongin murmured. “That’s what I’m your best friend for.”

“No, that’s what you’re the stupid guy I’ve had a crush on for years for.”

“Same thing.”

“I’m pretty sure it’s not,” Kyungsoo disagreed.

“Well, look at Baekhyun and Chanyeol,” Jongin noted. “That’s what they’ve got. And so do we.” Kyungsoo laughed, but Jongin went on. “I mean it! You like me – and I used to like you but I didn’t think you liked me so I made myself stop liking you, but I dunno, I’ve kinda still hoped maybe you’d ask me out sometime, so I guess I still liked you all along. If you’d just told me you liked me, we never would’ve had this mess, you know.”

“I could say the same to you,” Kyungsoo argued. “And if you hadn’t gone and liked Joe-”

“I’m sorry! I couldn’t help it!”

“Yes, but do you just like me because I’m wearing all this makeup?” Kyungsoo pulled back to look him in the eye. “Would you even listen to me if I was just plain, boring Kyungsoo? Because you never have before.”

Jongin sighed. “Honestly, looking at you right now, with all your makeup on – knowing that it’s you and not another guy, it just seems weird now. You might be beautiful or whatever, but… I like cute, nerdy Kyungsoo. I like your glasses and glaring and wild eyebrows and dorky smile.” He reached up and pinched Kyungsoo’s cheek, and then leaned in and kissed it quickly. “I was starting to think Joe was a total jerk anyway. You were doing that on purpose, right? To try and make you – Kyungsoo you – seem like a better person. To make me like Kyungsoo.” Abruptly, Kyungsoo was being pulled in to a tight hug again, and then Jongin stayed quiet for a long time. At last he whispered, “I’m sorry for being such a jerk with this whole Joe thing. I know it doesn’t seem like it, but I always loved you more than him anyway. You’re my best friend. There’s a million idols, but only one Kyungsoo.”

Kyungsoo bit his lip to hold in a sad whimper. “That’s not fair…” And they just stayed there for a while. Maybe they would have stayed there forever, but then the van door slid open and too many people were bombarding them and multiple voices started speaking to (and yelling at) Kyungsoo and he was pulled off of Jongin and sat down to have his appearance fixed and to be extremely guilt-tripped about his actions.

At last they returned to filming, and at Jongin’s house Kyungsoo gave him a genuine hug and they filmed Jongin going inside and then Jongin came back out and was de-mic’ed. He asked if Kyungsoo wanted to sleep over (since that was fairly usual with them), but Kyungsoo couldn’t go in looking like Joe, so he promised to get changed and come back. This took about an hour (largely because his scolding was continued forever, teamed up on by Jongdae and Joonmyun), and then he was picked up by his mom and dropped back off at Jongin’s.

The fact that Jongin didn’t say a word to him as he let him in worried Kyungsoo. In that hour, had he thought about everything, and realized he didn’t like Kyungsoo, that he never really had and in the heat of the moment had spouted some crazy things? It was silent as they went to Jongin’s room, and Kyungsoo’s heart pounded in his ears. The moment they were in the room and Kyungsoo closed the door, Jongin him, and Kyungsoo waited fearfully.

Rather than speaking, he attacked, pressing Kyungsoo back against the door and kissing him roughly. Kyungsoo was surprised but not willing to turn down the great opportunity, and kissed him back. Somehow, Jongin managed to get in that he definitely liked Kyungsoo far more than Joe, that he was way more beautiful than the idol could ever dream of (which didn’t make sense because Kyungsoo was Joe but whatever, he wasn’t going to stop kissing him to remind him). By the time they went to bed, having thoroughly made out and had Jongin’s hands run all over his body, touching him in ways he’d never imagined, they were very, very happy, and very much in a relationship.

“

Baekhyun couldn’t wait until Monday morning. Instead, he visited Jongin on Saturday morning, the day after the concert slash date, surprised to find that Kyungsoo was already there. Shortly after his arrival, Kyungsoo called the rest of his friends for a conference, aka, the time he would finally confess to his friends just who Joe Munroe was. Kris and Chanyeol arrived fast enough (especially for Chanyeol, who normally slept until the afternoon; but Baekhyun had insisted he come and the guy was ridiculously whipped so he did), but Yixing took a solid hour to get there, explaining that he’d had an Alice moment and swore he’d saw a squirrel in a trench coat and had to follow it, but lost it.

When he had them all sat down, Kyungsoo planned to tell them his big secret, but instead, Jongin jumped in.

“I’m dating Joe Munroe!”

They all broke into laughter. “Sure you are,” Baekhyun said.

“It’s true,” Kyungsoo defended. “Sort of.” Baekhyun raised an eyebrow. “He’s dating me, but… I am Joe.” This only caused more laughter, and Kyungsoo glared at them all. “It’s true!” he repeated haughtily.

“Kyungsoo, you’re like Joe’s biggest anti-fan,” Kris pointed out. “Why would you be him?”

“It’s called a cover,” Kyungsoo retorted, but he only received more laughs. “Fine, if you don’t believe me, then look at this!” He pulled out his cell phone and quickly skimmed through his gallery, finding a video he’d had recorded last night and playing it for them. He passed the phone to Baekhyun and Kris and Chanyeol huddled around the screen, the three watching.

The video was pretty long, but it was definitely enough evidence. He’d had Joonmyun film when he’d been sat in the makeup chair as Joe, and then as the team took him apart, removing the wig and makeup. When his face had been cleared and he looked like Kyungsoo again, the video ended. His friends were gaping, speechless.

“You mean to say,” Baekhyun said at last. “That I’ve wasted the past two years of my life being in love with you?” He stared at Kyungsoo, disbelieving.

“I thought we all knew Kyungsoo and Joe were the same person,” Yixing put in casually. Five heads spun to stare at him, and he just shrugged. “Well, I thought it was obvious.”

“Do you know how much money I’ve spent?!” Baekhyun burst out. “On merch and albums and so many things for you? You owe me all of it back!” Kyungsoo laughed, guessing that meant Baekhyun had accepted it, then. Well, maybe not accepted, but at least processed. “I’m not kidding! You let us buy into all of it and make us throw away all our money like that – you’re such a jerk!”

Everyone was laughing now, except Baekhyun and, surprisingly, Chanyeol. “He’s a jerk?” he said quietly, and Baekhyun turned to look at him questioningly. Without a word, Chanyeol grabbed the front of Baekhyun’s shirt and kissed him, and Baekhyun’s eyes only widened for a second before they closed and he pressed back. Another minute and the two were on the floor, making out like they were alone in the room. None of them had the willpower to stop the pair.

Instead, Yixing just turned to Kris and said, “Don’t you try to do that to me,” to which Kyungsoo snorted and Kris just rolled his eyes.

“Please,” Kris scoffed. “You’re so not my style.”

“Oh yeah, you mean like Joe?”

“Joe’s not my style either,” Kris argued. “Joe is Kyungsoo. No way in hell I’d ever like that kid. Besides, apparently he’s got a boyfriend, anyway.” He shot Jongin an amused smile, and Jongin flushed pink.

“Anyway, this stays between us six, okay?” Kyungsoo announced. “No one can know who I am. This includes you two,” he added to Baekhyun and Chanyeol, who were still off in their own world. “Okay? You can’t tell anyone!” They pulled apart an inch to both mutter an “okay” before returning to themselves, and Kyungsoo frowned.

“They’re gonna need your bed, Jongin,” Kris noted, and Jongin just rolled his eyes.

“Let’s leave them at it, then,” he grumbled, and the four got up to clear the room.

As they left, Kris muttered to Yixing, “I can’t believe you knew all along.” Yixing gave him a smile.

“My guardian elephants told me the first time I met him. Always trust the elephants, man.”

A/n: hohohoho das it. Bonus: KYUNGSOO WITH GLASSES COMPILATION