Deep breath, Jaeseop told himself. Calm down.

He couldn’t help glancing back at the other boy, who was carefully removing his shoes now, already having hung up his jacket. Jaeseop’s heart thudded. Kiseop was in his apartment…

Stop, stop it. It’s not a big deal. We’re just friends… he’s just in my house… putting his shoes next to mine like they belong there… now he’s stepping into the living room… Oh, God. Maybe it wasn’t a good thing that he had finally admitted his crush to himself. He shook his head as he followed Kiseop in.

The first time he had seen Kiseop was in science lab. He had been struck by him then, and he still was now. Not by his good looks. Honestly, he didn’t think they were anything to go crazy over. What he had noticed was the way he was looking so intently out the window. There was nothing to see out of it, really -- it was high up on the wall, so the only thing one could see out of it was sky. Kiseop hadn’t even noticed as one of the popular girls slipped in the seat next to him and murmured something to him. He finally looked away when the professor called him (twice), apologizing, “Sorry, the sky is blue.” There were a few chuckles from classmates who probably thought he was sassing the professor.

Yes, was all Jaeseop had thought, there’s something different about this guy.

At first, Jaeseop had kept his distance. He didn’t share any other classes with Kiseop, and he didn’t have any real reason to go introduce himself. He just watched him, sometimes. Kiseop was good looking, Jaeseop finally had to admit. And he always dressed so nicely. (Seriously, he must have money to afford some of those clothes… Jaeseop pretty much just wore jeans and a t-shirt every day.) Kiseop was soft-spoken and polite. And he was a girl magnet. Girls just found him, whispered about him in the back of the class, followed him out into the hall to talk.

He didn’t seem particularly flattered by the attention. He replied patiently when he was spoken to, he smiled brightly at the girls’ giggles. Then they would leave. And so would he -- into his mind. There seemed to be a lot going on in there, from what Jaeseop could tell. Enough to distract him from what he was supposed to be doing, sometimes. Which could be a problem in the lab. To be sure, sometimes it made for interesting results with his projects.

Really, Jaeseop liked the way that Kiseop always seemed to be doing his own thing. His actions didn’t always seem to be connected to what was going on around him. Sometimes others just thought he was weird. Eventually most of the girls stopped going after him once they realized he wasn’t interested in any of them.

And that’s when Jaeseop finally stepped in. It was mid-semester by this point, and he figured he should stop watching and go introduce himself.

“Yes, I remember you,” Kiseop had said when he told him his name.

“Uh, really?” was all Jaeseop had replied. There were in the same class, of course… did he mean something else?

“SeopSeop,” Kiseop had replied, face brightening in a smile. “You speak English, right?”

“Yes, I do.”

“That’s great. I wish I did.”

“Uh, do I know you from somewhere else?”

“No, I don't think so.”

“How did you know…?”

“You could pronounce that one really long chemical name the professor wrote in English on the board.”

“Oh, yeah…” He had forgotten about that.

Somehow, after that they were friends. They partnered on a couple of projects, they started to sit together in the cafeteria.

And now it was the last day after their final tests, and Kiseop was at his house for the first time. And it was making Jaeseop a lot more nervous that it should. Kiseop was just a friend. Jaeseop had plenty of friends, and it was never… Yeah. He had plenty of friends. But he didn’t have a crush on any of them. Except for this one.  

There was just something about Kiseop that had struck him, got under his skin. And once he noticed, it only got worse. He found himself listening closely to all of his odd little comments, trying to figure out what was going on inside that head. He found himself admiring his sharp nose and beautiful eyes. He grew to like the shaggy hair that he had thought too long at first, and there was more than one time he imagined how it would feel to run his fingers up into it and tug--

He shook himself. No, no, no, this was not the time for that. Not when he finally had Kiseop alone, all to himself in his home… No. Stop. He sighed to himself as he led Kiseop to the kitchen, the latter having apparently finished looking at the living room. 

“Bedroom.” Kiseop said.

“What?” Jaeseop responded sharply. What?!

“Are you going to show me your bedroom next?”

“Oh, oh yeah. Sure,” Jaeseop responded, trying to calm his erratically thudding heart. Was this going to be a problem? It was definitely turning into a problem. It wasn’t helping that it had been quite some time since he last got laid. Not that it mattered! he screamed at himself mentally. Good God.

He pushed open his door. “Ta-da. Um, it could be a bit cleaner.” It wasn’t bad, but he hadn’t expected to have anyone in here.

“It’s cleaner than mine,” Kiseop replied nonchalantly, striding right in. He glanced around and then plopped himself down on the bed (the unmade bed, sheesh, I could have done that at least, Jaeseop thought), bouncing a couple of times before leaning back against the wall. “Comfy.”

“Yeah,” Jaeseop responded vaguely. He stood there for a moment, feeling a bit awkward, and then sat down next to Kiseop.

Oh, wow. This was a lot more awkward. Having him next to him on his bed… oh man. He needed to get out of here before his brain started doing things.

“I’m so glad the semester is over,” Kiseop said, breaking into his entirely unhelpful train of thought.

“Mm? Yeah. Me too.”

“How was your last test? Psychology, right?”

“It wasn’t too bad. There were a couple of questions I had a hard time with, though.”

“Mm. I would have a hard time with all of it.”

“No, but it’s a really interesting subject. I like learning how people’s brains work.”

“So can you read minds now?” Kiseop teased. “Should I be worried?”

“No, of course not. Anyway, I couldn’t read yours. There’s way too much going on in there.”

Kiseop raised his eyebrows questioningly.

“Just, the way you do things that… I mean, you always seem to be lost in your own little world…” Oh geez, Kiseop was staring at him now. “Not that it’s a bad thing or anything…” Great, now he’d managed to make it awkward again. “I think it’s really interesting-- I mean, you’re really interes--”

Kiseop raised a hand, putting a finger against his lips. He smiled at him softly. After a moment, he put his hand back down.

“I’m glad I met you,” he murmured.

“Me too,” Jaeseop responded, not knowing what else to do. Suddenly the feeling  between them was serious, the air filled with a soft tension. It was weird, Jaeseop found himself thinking, but it felt too nice to casually interupt with a smart remark.

Kiseop’s eyes drifted down to his lips briefly, and Jaeseop’s mind was immediately filled with all sorts of things he didn’t need to be thinking about. It wasn’t any better when Kiseop’s eyes drifted back up to meet his. Jaeseop had always loved his eyes. They were so dark, mysterious. He wasn’t sure why Kiseop’s eyes were so different than anyone else’s, but they just were. They always seemed to be full of soft secrets. Sometimes serious ones, sometimes mirthful. Those eyes were always so beautiful, regardless. Jaeseop found himself wishing that he could jump into them, swim inside the other boy’s mind until he was completely lost. Well, he thought to himself, to be honest, I already am lost.

There was a long moment where they just gazed at each other, not moving. Kiseop seemed to be expectant, waiting for something. Maybe he was just being weird, but Jaeseop felt they were on the edge of something. Something big. He just needed to jump, take a risk… No, no, no. Just because he was gay didn’t mean…

”Jaeseop,” Kiseop murmured softly, dropping his gaze to his hand. He reached out hesitantly, touching his hand with the lightest pressure.

And then it didn’t matter. Nothing; not his reservations, not decorum, not the fact that he could be making a huge mistake. He couldn’t fight the pull. He couldn’t stop his hand from pulling out from under Kiseop’s so that he could lay it on top, clutching at the other’s fingers. He couldn’t prevent his neck from stretching out, his head leaning toward Kiseop’s. He couldn’t keep his eyes from fluttering shut as he tilted his head just slightly, slowly, giving the other boy the opportunity to pull away before he finally--

Lips touched lips, softly, so gently that the touch was barely there. But Jaeseop still felt the electric shock. His heart was beating a hundred miles an hour as he dared to push a little bit more into the touch. He could hear the tiny sound of Kiseop’s sharp intake of air over his own shaky breath, feel the tremor that went through their joined hands. And then Kiseop was pushing forward, fitting their lips more firmly together.

He was soaring, floating high above the earth. He couldn’t think, not of anything at all. The only thing keeping him tethered to reality was his pounding heart and the soft pair of lips against his own. Or maybe this wasn’t reality. Could reality be this wonderful?

He pressed his lips against the other’s once more, feeling the puff of air against his skin as Kiseop pressed immediately back. He shifted a little, laying the next kiss on Kiseop’s lower lip. The whole world was that soft mouth under his, making his heart race and his thoughts scatter like butterflies. He never wanted to stop. He wanted to press into the other man, devour him. A soft moan left him as he pushed against that pair of lips once more. He could feel a tiny tremor in the hand beneath his own. God, he wanted to pull Kiseop into his arms, thread his fingers into his hair, kiss him and kiss him and kiss him…

All at once, with a small sound of regret, he pulled away. He needed to take a step back. He was breathing harder than he should have been as he took in the face before him. Kiseop’s eyes were soft, full of wonder. It made Jaeseop’s head swim, looking back at him. His chest was swelling with feeling, passion that just wanted to explode out of him--

“I think I love you,” he found himself saying suddenly, breathless voice speaking the words without any forethought.

At that, Kiseop’s eyes grew wider. They stared at each other, breaths uneven. For some reason Jaeseop didn’t feel nervous about his confession, about how Kiseop felt. He was too focused on Kiseop himself. That plush, amazing pair of lips; that damn shaggy haircut, tempting him to touch; those dark, bottomless eyes…

“Are you real?” Kiseop whispered.

Jaeseop threaded his fingers through Kiseop’s, giving them a gentle squeeze. “Yes,” he whispered back. “Yes.”

“I like you, too,” Kiseop murmured. “Jaeseop…”

He couldn’t hold back any longer. Jaeseop leaned forward again, this time taking Kiseop’s face in his hands as he pressed their lips together. It sent a shock through him again, one that was so amazingly good. This time neither of them was hesitant, pressing together urgently, full of feeling. Jaeseop let his hand slip back, and then god, yes, his fingers were burrowing into that hair. Kiseop let out a heavy breath against his mouth, making his heart beat even faster in excitement, making him thread his fingers into the strands and pull -- and the noise Kiseop let out at that was quiet, desperate; almost a moan. Jaeseop didn’t even know what he was doing before his tongue was pushing urgently into the other man’s mouth, rushing to against him, explore the whole thing, map it out and claim it for himself. And Kiseop was answering him just as needily, pushing back against his tongue with rough . His free hand clutched at Jaeseop’s arm, fingers digging in as their passionate embrace continued.

And then Jaeseop was pulling back again, removing himself before what they were doing spiraled out of control. Kiseop was far too important for him to take things this fast. He wanted take this slowly, when it was the right time; memorize everything about him and do everything right. So he dropped his hand from Kiseop’s hair, not without regret, and used it to pull the other man into an embrace. He laid his head against his chest.

Kiseop wrapped his arms around him, humming softly. They stayed like that for a while, minds swimming in surprise and happiness. Jaeseop’s lips settled into a soft smile. He couldn’t really believe what had just happened, but he was definitely okay with it. Finally he was allowed to show the other man something of what he meant to him.

“Jaeseop,” came the other’s voice softly.

“Yes?”

Kiseop shifted gently under him. “Will you be mine?”

For a moment Jaeseop couldn’t breathe. “Yes,” he answered. “God, yes.”

Kiseop didn’t answer, but when Jaeseop looked up at him he saw that he had a bright, soft smile on his face, eyes closed in contentment.

Jaeseop wasn’t sure how this was going to go, didn’t know the steps that he usually planned out ahead of time. This man here with him was something different, something precious. And yeah, they were young and they hadn’t even known each other for that long. But his intuition had always been good, and right now it was talking to him. Telling him this one, this quiet, eccentric, beautiful man, might just be the one he would spend the rest of his life with.