I got into my school five minutes earlier before the class starts and sat on my usual chair. I only have one subject left and then after that I can go home again to relax and review for finals.

My room-mate had fallen asleep before I left, right after he had taken his meds. I put everything he might need on the table beside him for his convenience so there would be no worries. If ever something happened he could just call me since my name was first on his speed-dial.

It’s History time and this is the only subject I don’t have with Kikwang. The class went boring as usual, and the bell ringing had automatically pushed me to hurry and find him.

I scurried out of the room and went to every possible place I could find him. A big smile was plastered on my face as I walk to the rooftop. I know that among every corner of the campus, rooftop was something he goes often.

I ran as fast—not very fast, though—as I lead my way to the rooftop by the stairs. When I was near the door I can’t help the feeling of excitement that flowed to my spine.

He was with a girl, he was leaning against her, as a matter of fact. He was smiling and the girl laughed probably for something he had said. There was a pang of jealousy that stabbed me, and I just wanted to go straight to her and strangle he hair and say, ‘what the are you doing with my boyfriend’, but that’s too impossible to go real. I don’t even know what I am to him.

He had mention I was a good friend, sure, but what am I to him during the times we kissed? I can’t even consider the two of us as ‘-buddies’ since we never had . It’s all just kissing, and maybe sometimes he would come further to my neck and to my collarbones but I can still feel the hesitant of his lips when they travel there.

So what am I to him?

   “Oh, hey, buddy,” he called as he probably had felt the presence on the doorway.

Buddy. Yes, I am his buddy.

   “Oh, hello,” I paused trying to keep my voice steady and think of an acceptable excuse I could offer, “Um, thought you wanted to have coffee?”

Now that wasn’t an excuse, it was the main reason why I had searched for him. But my selfishness had taken over me and screamed to me how about I test him who would he pick this time.

I noticed the girl glared over me probably because I just ruined her chance, but I acted I didn’t see that and had my eyes remained on Kikwang anticipating for his answer.

Kikwang looked to the girl apologetically and said, “Sorry, sweetheart. Seobie Boy over there is treating me for a sip, see you later,” he finishes and winks to the girl. Despite the look of rejection she giggled and walked away but bumped me with her shoulder when she was exiting.

I didn’t know where to react, to the part where Kikwang said I am to treat him, to the part where the girl purposely bumped me by the shoulders, or to the name Kikwang had addressed me. I’m used to that nick name, actually. He had called me that even before, when we started being friends. But it still does that usual tingling sensation when it falls out of his mouth. I know that was just for our ‘brotherly’ affection but I can’t help but feel something more special than that.

I startled a little when he lightly nudged me and questioningly looked at me. I just wish I’m not getting crimson red.

   “Um, so, let’s go?” I offered as I awkwardly gave him a shy look.

   “Sure,” he says and I just really hope I was only mistaking that little smile as a smirk.

We walked down silently and headed to Java Latte, a coffee shop across the building. When we got there, there were only few people occupying the tables. Some couples, students, a group of cheer leaders, a little family, and some guys from school probably chatting about their new girl.

We looked for a vacant seat and luckily there was a good-for-two table in the corner and headed there. As we took our seats, an awkward silence was built but being the happy person that Kikwang is, he took the initiative to ask what I would want to have. It was weird of course, since as I remember I was the one who had suggested this whole idea.

He called to the waiter for two cappuccinos and two burgers and looked at me, a little smile on his face, as he was obviously provoking me to speak.  I was trying hard to think of something to say but I couldn’t think of anything but thank heavens I was saved by the waiter that approached us to give our orders.

I quickly took a sip of mine and blurted, “So, about last time.” The confident smile on his face slowly disappeared as I have said those and it was exchanged with a nervous gaze.

   “What about it,” he says as he takes a sip of his own coffee and sat straight after, the steady smile back again. I hate it when he has the power over me. I blushed. I think of how to start the subject but then he spoke again.

   “We were all conquered by time, don’t you think?” he mumbled, looking down on his plate as he was playing the poor burger with his fork.

I was surprised and confused of what he had stated so I just gave him a signal to continue.

   “You know, like a wound. It would only take a matter of time to heal it, a matter of time to leave a scar, and a matter of time to erase it. But sometimes, you just can’t take the scars off, ‘cus you know, sometimes they were meant to be a part of your body.”

 I don’t know if I was only hallucinating due to my unfathomable fantasy or he was just really looking at me while he was saying all that. I gave him a confusing gaze and said, “I—don’t get you, Kikwang.”

He only smiled and shook his head as he stated, “Never mind, buddy.”

We ate in silence after that. His burger was half finished when his phone buzzed. H e took it and read the message and I was sure there was a smirk on his face while he was reading the message. And by that I can tell what the message was about.

And so I wasn’t all that hurt when he excused himself and said, “Um, I got to do something urgent, man. Sorry and here’s for the bill.” He put the money for the bill and I was just about to speak my complaint—I was the one supposed to treat him—but he wasn’t even able to listen since he have ran cheetah-fast.

He went to my neck and planted pleasuring kisses on it. I wasn’t able to hold myself anymore as I took his shirt off as fast as I could and threw it somewhere. I adored his toned chest by traveling my hands all over it and touched every single abs by my fingers. Then after, I touched his muscles and finally snaking my hands on the back of his head, massaging it.

When we were already getting out of oxygen we parted and stared at each other. Breathlessly, I smiled at him and took my hands off of his body as I started off to my bed presuming everything to be over. That was us; we only make out, getting ourselves hard—or maybe just me—and would never go further after that.

But things seem to change.

I was surprised when he took me by the wrist and carried me by my body, walked the both of us to my bed. I didn’t know what to say. I was shocked, really shocked. Is what I am thinking really going to happen?

We plopped down on the bed, me being topped by him. My hands were on his shoulders with my eyes wide open as I nervously stared at him. He was staring at me too, and then his eyes went to my lips and I didn’t have to wait long as he leaned to kiss them. I kissed him back and it went a little longer than earlier since this time we were being rough—parting from time to time. My eyes were close as his tongue was on my mouth, and by a snap it opened big when I felt his hand sneaked on my pants and firmly touched my hole.

I winced a bit but then he comforted me by gently my cheekbones and kissed me again, this time, softly.

Soon after, there was a lube and a . I can’t believe what I was seeing, but then it was real, it happened.

There was no sign of his figure but a neatly folded white paper attracted my eyes. To my curiosity, I reached for it and opened it. It reads;

Dear Seobie boy,

Good morning, cute little cupcake. I’m sorry if this is an abrupt but I have to leave for America. I’ll tell you why when I come back, it’s just a matter of weeks. You know, life is not life without family problems, right? But don’t think about that. Now I’ll be straight.

See this might sound and would make me look like a cheese-face but—you have this little one thing I can’t figure out, when I kiss you. And the way you would look at me being all so red make me feel something big or special or proud, really I can’t explain. The way how your hair smelled when I lean to look at your notes just appeals into me. And your fingers running to my body feel so contenting. The breathless sound of your mouth when I kiss you— the sparkle in your eyes, honestly how do you do all that? I mean, I’ve never experienced having that effect with the girls I have, well— bedded.  And in case you forgot, I wasn’t lying when I told you you were my first—boy, you know.

Um, I’m not really into saying this, but I think I’m gay for you. Crap, that was awful to hear but—I don’t know, really. I just—I don’t know. I like you. A lot. And… when I come back can you—I mean can I stay being the one taking over? I mean, the top, or how you call it.

Okay, that’s all for now…babe?

I was speechless. If this was a dream, please let me sleep forever. But then everything was real, fortunately. Boy, I can’t explain the heaven bliss I was showered. But now, to answer his wish on being the top, I can only mutter, “Of course.”

I was just about to close the paper back when I noticed a folded part that I probably didn’t notice earlier. I unfold the end of the paper and saw there was a continuation.

I realized something that makes me laugh every time I think of it, Seobie boy. You know, it’s just a matter of time for us to be friends, a matter of time to see each other’s personality deeper, a matter of time to develop an undefined bond, a matter of time to see each other more than what we were, a matter of time to touch each other, and a matter of time to loose the binds that kept us from doing what we want to do with each other. See? We were conquered by time. I was conquered by time. But mostly I believe, I was conquered by you. I love you.

Hihi. It’s lame but wth! You enjoyed, didn’t you?

Thankyou so much to my subscribers! I was just planning to discontinue it because I wasn’t feeling any better but you pushed me to it. So I love you. Very much.

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