After the incident his family decided it was probably for the best to move away. Just like that all chances of seeing Nam Soon again disappeared. It was stupid. He spent most of that first year angry. Angry and locked away in his own thoughts not bothering to talk to his sister or anybody else. Not that there were a lot of other options.

He was angry at NamSoon. Because he ruined his foot and his potential football career. Because he never came back to the hospital. Because he didn't visit in time. Because he left him all alone. Because he still missed him and he needed him and he just wanted to be with him. Because after all he still loved him and that hurt the most. The fact that he knew that they would probably never meet again. So he hated him even more. Why did he have to be as tall as him and why did they have to become friends. Why did he have to approach him in school and stick with him. Why was his face so ing perfect and his smile so big and just beautiful. Why did his eyes shine so bright. Why did he have to be a guy, everything would have been different if he was a girl. 

Just like that a year went by. While he wallowed in self pity. Refusing to go to school and leave his room for something else than eating and taking showers. Building up the anger and the depression. Then he lost his mother and all hell broke loose. Now he wasn't just alone. Now he was truly lost. He was expecting it of course. But it failed to cross his mind that Nam Soon wasn't going to be there with him when it happened. That he would have to deal all by himself. His sister was there too of course, but it wasn't even close to what he needed.

He had to go back to school. But instead of studying, not that he ever did that before anyways, he was looking for him. Desperatly graspingf for someone to replace him. There had to be a girl that could fill his void. Someone prettier, with full lips, big eyes and thick hair. With pale white skin and long slim limbs. But none of them where good enough. he tried to get physical with them, but he just felt disgusted because in the end all he thought of was Nam Soon. He felt like a cheater even though he wasn't, not at all. He wanted to claw away his own skin and have him there covering all of the foreign touches made by other girls than him. 

So that was out of the plan. He just needed someone like him by his side. Not as more than friends, but there. So he looked everywhere. For someone free and wild. Crazy and uncontrolable like him. Strong enough to overthrow him. But gentle, funny and carefree just like he was. It turned out to be impossible. Wild people he found in school where too wild, not strong enough not funny enough. It pissed him off. That he thought those people could be like him, that they weren't. That he still felt empty. 

Somewhere in that path he became a savage. Beating people that pissed him off up. Not caring. Going from school to school. Having to move houses way too many times. Almost ruining his own life forever. Till it was too much to bear for hima nd for his sister. The one that was there, he realised. The one that never left hima nd kept fighting with him. Till she was crying her eyes out in front of him, hugging him. Not letting go and not looking away. Afraid he would disappear if she did so, that she would lose him too. Till she was begging him to stop it. 

So he did, he promised her he would. It was honestly too painful. Three years and he still felt empty, lonely, crushed, heartbroken. HE had spent all of his energy looking for someone who ruined his life, getting angry and disappointed. Losing hope and storing all of his feelings away and slowly turning everything he felt into hatred. or telling himself that it was hatred he was feeling, convincing himself of it.  So when they moved back to the place where it all started he took it as a rehab. He had a plan. In his mind he had already paid for his wrongs. Now he needed to heal. He was going to spend this two years forgetting. Or just...letting go. Not thinking about anything else, staying out of trouble and going to school. Graduating. This was his last chance, there was nowhere else to go. 'It was just two years after all, how hard could it be?'

..........

.......................

...............................'Hard'..............................

'EXTREMLY HARD!' he thought.' ACTUALLY, IMPOSSIBLE!!'

He was walking around getting used to the area again. When he heard a sound he turned his head only to freeze as he looked int he allyway. There he was, surrounded by three other kids in his uniform. His face was bleeding and beaten up, his hand clutching his ribs. His face neutral as if he wasn't in pain. Typical of him, just like always still fighting. 

Something in him stirred. He wanted his body to move to keep walking, to ignore him. But it was really a lost cause. He could feel his heart beating faster, till it hurt, till he couldn't breathe. He wasn't fighting back.Instead he was just standing there talking about stopping now, and the thrill of hitting and about coming at him. It was infuriating. THe only thing he could think of at that moment was that fateful day three hyears ago. The anger boiling in him as he heard Nam Soon's words. He sure could talk big for someone who thrived on beating people up. 

His body moved on his own and before he knew it he was holding some guys arm stopping him and looking straight into Nam Soon's eyes. 

As he stared in the eyes of the one person he never thought he would see again, he almost felt like laughing. Because of course now that he had a plan, some sort of idea of what to do with himself, he would come and ruin it. Just like always distroying his plans. It never went how he planned it whenever it came to him. Ever since the beginning, first day of school he wanted to be alone. Becoming best friends, he thought they wouldn't talk again after the first day. Falling in love with him, he just though best friends were really close. Losing him, destroyed his world. Now finding him as usual, leaving him lost. 

Okeeeyyy, here it is.

I had to write this like three times cause im on vacation and the internet here's a . Also my IQ apparently isnt' enough to remind me to save stuff to my computer and not just online. :P

Also i'm suuuuper lazy wiht editing so i didn't read it through after i finished. I may have some grammar/spelling issues, if they bother you comment on it and ill change them......

Maybe , ill try ....    dont hate me X3

Soo hope you guys enjoy it. Leave comments! :D