Three months had passed so fast.

Jongup was still a little sad, but he was back to his old self, smiling around the dorm and tormenting his hyungs in his eccentric way. Different from what Youngjae expected, you got on that plane.

Now, your name was prohibited in the dorm.

Youngjae closed his room door and the pc. Even after months, he was not able to forget you. He dreamed about you during the day and during the night. He worried about you. He lingered your presence. He was going crazy. Too deep in that love.

So, without the members knowing, he decided to get in touch with you again. He had your email after all.

“Hello, Youngjae here. :D I thought about you today. How are you going? Miss you visiting us in the dorm for Disney marathons. :(”

He waited in the pc for an answer, that didn’t take long to appear.

"Youngjae!!? I’m fine. And you? I thought we wouldn’t talk again. Well, guess what, looks like I’ll be able to go back to Seoul. I found an amazing job opportunity there. I’m happy."

Youngjae heart almost jumped out of his chest. 

"When are you coming?"

And he waited, biting his nails.

"Next month."

—-

Talking through email, you and Youngjae became best pen pal friends. You knew basically everything about each other… favorite movies, favorite songs, ideas, beliefs, even favorite ice cream flavor.

When you arrived in Seoul, he picked you at the airport.

"Woo…" his eyes wide open, "you look nice."

He said as he saw how beautiful you were. He had forgotten how y and how bad he wanted to touch you in the first place. Now he was remembering everything. His whole body awoke.

"Thanks." You smiled. "You are not bad either."

He took you to your new small loft apartment and spent the whole day talking, cleaning the loft, eating and laughing.

"So, how is Jongup?" You asked.

"Ah, right." Youngjae looked down. "Maybe you want to talk to him."

"No." You said. "I hurt him. I cannot do it ever again, so I rather not see him. He is such a wonderful person. I want so much happiness for him."

"I understand."

You looked at Youngjae and he had those amazing beautiful eyes on you.

"Well," he said, "we still have a lot to do. Let’s work."

—-

"I can’t believe we have another member in love." Yongguk said inside the van.

They were coming back from an event and Youngjae wouldn’t stop looking at his phone and smiling, replying to Kakao messages.

"Who is she?" Yongguk asked.

"You don’t know her."

"Not a celebrity."

"Yeah." Youngjae said and smiled again at the phone. "Not a celebrity."

After, he looked at the driver.

"Can you stop here, please?"

"What!?" Yongguk exclaimed. "Are you not going home?"

"I’ll see her for a few minutes, than I’ll go home. I miss her." He said and smiled.

"Be careful not to be spotted." Yongguk said, almost whispering.

"Don’t worry."

The van stopped and Youngjae rushed to your loft. In your last message you had invited him to have dinner with you. You had prepared kimchi for the first time and wanted to share the moment with him.

"You are the best chef ever." He said.

"Really?"

"Really."

"I also baked a cake." You said. "Want a piece?"

"Yes…"

You and Youngjae almost finished with the cake. And after dinner, you washed the dishes together. Finally, when all the work was over, you talked in the living room, sitting of the floor.

"May I ask you something?" He said.

"Go on."

"Do you still have feeling for Jongup?"

You almost choked.

"I never had them." You said. "I’ve always liked him as a friend. And I wanted him as a friend. Jongup asked me to stay as his girlfriend, but I could not accept. He is so young, so full of life. I’m sure someone will give him their whole heart, but I can’t… my heart belongs to someone else."

Youngjae stared at you.

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"No." You laughed. "This person I love doesn’t know how I feel. But, even if he did, he would never accept my heart."

Youngjae looked down, really serious. And his sad expression gave you the hint you needed.

"My heart is yours, Youngjae. Since the first time we met I could only think of you. Only you. I came back because of you."

Surprised, he looked into your eyes.

"They person I love is you." You smiled with sadness, scared that he would turn his back on you.

But Youngjae did something you never expected. He held the back of your neck and kissed you. You closed your eyes, feeling his soft lips. He opened his lips and you did the same. Kissing slowly, feeling each others skin and warmth. Youngjae held your hand and, for a moment, he was not a international celebrity, he wasn’t Jongup’s friend… he was just yours.

And you wished the kiss would last an eternity.

—-

"I need to talk to you." Youngjae said to Daehyun before turning off the light of their room.

"What is it?" Daehyun asked, siting in Youngjae’s bed.

"I have a girlfriend."

"I know that."

"But…" Youngjae bit his lips. "It’s not that simple."

Daehyun waited.

"She is the girl that Jongup was in love with, three months ago. I know it’s wrong. I did wrong for falling for her. Even thought I tried to forget, I can’t. I don’t want to hurt Jongup’s heart, but when I look into her eyes, I’m sure that she is the one for me. I don’t want to even let go of her hand. But I also don’t want to betray Jongup."

He looked at Daehyun.

"Tell Jongup, right now." Daehyun said. "I’ll go with you. I’ll be by your side."

"Would you do that?"

"I’m your friend. Of course I would."

They left their room and talked for hour with Jongup. He was not particularly angry or sad. Jongup knew it was all over the moment you got on the plane. What made him mad was the fact that Youngjae feared his reaction and had to hide his feelings for so long.

"I love her." Jongup said. "And I also love you, Youngjae, like a brother. I want you two to be happy, more than anything."

Youngjae smiled. He felt like all problems were solved and he would finally be able to be the boyfriend you deserved.

—-

After one month, Youngjae’s name was on the top list of Naver search.

A big and detailed report was published about you and Youngjae relationship. You were being follower by a sasaeng. She had managed to take photos of you holding hands, talking, even kissing. And she had released it all.

In the morning when the scandal surfaced, Yongguk woke up with their manager phone call. In five minutes, all the dorm was in chaos.

"I need to see her." Youngjae said, trying to get to the door.

"No." Yongguk held him. "They know where she lives by know. If you appear there, the scandal will explode. It would be much worse."

Youngjae called you immediately, but you didn’t answer.

"She might be in danger." Youngjae said. "I must see her. Yongguk. I must see her, let me go. Please. She is important to me. No one will see me, I promise. I’ll watch her from far, just to be sure she is fine."

Yongguk looked at the other members. They all seemed worried with Youngjae, but also scarred.

"I’m sorry, Youngjae. You can’t go."

—-

You also tried to contact Youngjae, but his phone was off all the time, until his manager answered.

"Can I talk to Youngjae, please?"

"You are the girl, right!?" The man said. "I know I’m asking too much, but don’t call him again, for his own good. Pretend you never met him in the first place, because Youngjae… he decided to forget you."

That day, you cried like you never had.

—-

"Here." Manager entered Youngjae’s room. "Your phone back."

Youngjae smiled. Manager threw to phone at his bed.

"She called. I said I was sorry about all this situation, but she asked you to never call again. All this scandal made her sick of the celebrity life. She told me she just wants to be a normal person far from the spotlight. Please, Youngjae, respect her decision."

With his heart aching, he searched the phone to be sure that you were the last person to call. Yes, manager was right, you had called. He pressed the phone between his shaking hands, trying to cope with the sudden break up.

He couldn’t think of his life without you.

As the manager left the room, Yongguk held the man’s arm.

"I saw what you did."

"It’s for BAP." Manager said. "You know I did the right think. Soon they will forget each other and it’s going to be all over. No more problems. I hope Youngjae case show you all what happens when you do things without thinking."

"It’s his girl." Yongguk said. "We can’t lie."

"Are you ready to risk BAP for Youngjae?"

Yongguk let the manager go and, from afar, he watched his friend shed a tear, staring at the phone as if holding onto his last hope.

"Damn." Yongguk whispered.

—-

Youngjae slept for hours.

He woke up and the first thing he saw was your smiling face. Woo… what a beautiful dream.

"Youngjae?" Your soft voice said.

He sat on the bed, surprised.

"You are here?" He asked. "You are really here?"

"Yes." You smiled. "Yongguk brought me to the dorm. He said that the manager lied to protect us from another scandal. As long as we are together, I don’t care about the rest. I don’t want to break up. I just want to be with you. Since the beginning I knew it wouldn’t be easy. But I’ll always fight for us."

Youngjae pulled you against him and hugged you, feeling your perfume, feeling your warm breathing. You rest your head on his shoulder. His arms seemed to be the only place where you belonged. You didn’t know when you would be able to date again, because of his schedule and scandal, but you knew one think: you belonged to each other and no one would ever be able to break that bond.

"I love you." He whispered in your ear.

You closed your eyes.

You could finally rest. You could finally smile.