Chapter 14

Call your friends. Warn them that for the next two or three, maybe four hours you're just gonna vent all of your feelings on your ex or ex-crush, whoever he may be.   I’m coming out from a deep sleep, feeling the flickering, changing sunlight on my face. Dreamy thoughts in the meadow with Minho-oppa chasing me, trying to lock me in his arms—   My eyes snap open. I immediately sat down on my bed and ruffle my hair, annoyed and confused.   Running in the meadows huh? With Choi Minho—aish! And what’s with oppa?! Ugh, perhaps I’m the only person who doesn’t go with the convention of calling a guy oppa.    I must be crazy! I punch my head and chant like a Buddhist mantra, “I'm going crazy!”  I sigh; I’m really going crazy through this emotional roller coaster ride.   Suddenly my hand phone rings, it was a text message from Bae Hyun Ae.   Nam Gyu, you’re my friend right?   Of course, why? I replied without hesitation.   Cool, meet me before class; we’re going to do something extremely fun. ≥∇≤   I gulp; that emoticon. Why do I feel scared and nervous?   I could practically imagine that once I left the café, I would be gone in this world. There were no witnesses to her disappearance. I last saw her standing waiting for a taxi. I last saw her at the table eating like a pig.   This is the moment were I’ve been warned by third-grade teachers and my dad. I could have say no but I realized I’m thinking too much. This is Bae Hyun Ae, a colleague, a friend. I trust her. I could trust her.   Or that’s what I thought?   ---   My heart’s jittery and I fight the impulse by pushing the heavy door. I exhale and exhale, breathe out and breathe out—not breathing in or inhaling.   All the fears and anxiety melt away when I saw Bae Hyun Ae, she was smiling at me as she waves her hand at me. I smiled back. Beside her was our senior, Nam Jung Hee who recently graduated from our department.    I sat in front of Hyun Ae while Jung Hee is sitting at the head of the table. For a couple of minutes we eat, talk about Jung Hee’s life, work and etc in short, catch up with each other’s business since all of us got busy.   We got lost inside the conversation that I nearly forgot what Hyun Ae is up to. I clear my throat and try to get her attention.  “Yah, Hyun Ae, uhm—”   “Ah! Ye, that’s right, Nam Gyu, would you like me to tell your fortune? I’ve recently learned how to read tarot cards.”   “EH?” That’s it? You made me go and skip my second subject just to read my fortune? Aish. Of course I didn’t say it aloud. “Wh-why me? You can ask Jung Hee-unnie.”   “How about my fortune with money?”   “Unnie, I can’t read that kind of fortune. I specialized on love fortune only, sorry unnie… Nam Gyu, let’s read your cards.”   “Okay.” I smile at her reluctantly as I watch her set-up. She placed a cloth and brought out the cards. She’s shuffling the card and spread them.   “Nam Gyu, draw five cards.”   I swallowed hard and look away nervously.   “Think of it as helping your friend at her internship.” I sigh and give in. I push 5 cards towards her way and she gathers the other cards. “This.” She points the first card on her left side. “This is your present.”   She flips the card and she said it’s the Eight of Cups. I look at her confused. She pick up her little notebook and read, “The description of this card is you are going away from a troubled situation. It basically says that something is amiss in your relationship and although you feel disappointed about it you are choosing to move away from it.”   And the first person that pops in my head is no other than The Kim Jonghyun.   “Any other information?” I ask eagerly, but I did not show them.   “Interestingly, Eight of Cups can be taken as good news for a person who just got out of a relationship, for it signals that he or she is healing from the situation. Also she is ready to understand as to why things fell apart for her in the past. However for feelings, Eight of Cups is a negative tarot card, for it implies that your love interest simply does not think that you are right for him. So he is going away from you.”   Shock crept on my face, I almost frown. I feel my heart breaking. I let out a deep sigh. The last part is probably the most concrete and accurate definition of my present. Your love interest simply does not think that you are right for him. So he is going away from you. Jonghyun probably knew all along. I nearly cry.   Jung Hee-unnie held my forearm, asking me if I was okay. I nodded and try to smile. But looking at the bright side, the description says I am going away from a troubled situation which means, I’m going to escape Kim Jonghyun’s evil wrath—probably soon.   “This is your past.” Hyun Ae says as she slowly flips the next card. “Ten of swords. Description—life is in turmoil. It mainly describes that a relationship ended bitterly.”   Yeah—I agree. My life in the past is turmoil.   “The keyword of this dangerous tarot card is, ‘being attacked cruelly’—”   I gasp silently. Seriously that’s what I feel!   “—the pain this time is more brutal than before and although it is psychological in nature its effect can be felt even in the body.”   And I could feel being stabbed, because all of this is soooo true.   “However, the tarot card can represent a worst possible betrayal in love which totally rips off the heart. A good example of it is when yo