Chapter 5

Taemin pulled himself with ease through the water, arms aching slightly against the pull of the water.

He loved to swim, it was one of the only exercises he was allowed to do, one of the only things that he wasn’t controlled over. If he wanted to go swimming, he was usually allowed, since the light exercise helped his condition and was even recommended for him. Because of this, Taemin had grown up swimming.

He wasn’t allowed to do it competitively, but he was good enough that if he wasn’t sick, he probably would have been able to.

Swimming was like dancing with no limits, in the water he could float and glide, he could spin and dance with no problems, the water pressure holding him up and supporting him as he did so. He loved it, he loved how free it made him, and how in control he felt when he was in the water.

After years and years of being controlled, of having other people decide what he can and can’t do, swimming was his own, swimming was what he could do when he no longer had control over his life.

Which is why he was in the pool at 4am on a Friday morning.

He’d been released from the hospital only 2 hours earlier, and once he’d gotten home, he’d noticed that he was way too wired to be able to sleep, way too hyper and awake to drift off into blissful unconsciousness.

He’d snuck out of the house, easily since everyone was so exhausted, and made his way to the local outdoor pool.

He probably shouldn’t have been there, there was no life guards around and no-one watching him, but it just made him feel more free. He wasn’t being watched like a hawk, he wasn’t being controlled and if something went wrong, he had to get himself out of it.

“What are you doing?”

Taemin jumped, almost leaping out of the water to look towards the offending voice. Kim Kibum stood at the edge of the pool, frowning and holding a towel over his shoulder as he watched Taemin.

“What do you think?” Taemin shot back with a frown. “I’m swimming.”

“You shouldn’t be, it’s 4am.”

“I’m aware.”

Kibum scoffed slightly at Taemin’s tone, sitting down and watching him. “Go ahead then, keep swimming.”

Taemin frowned over at him, but continued swimming and trying to lose himself in the water again. It proved to be difficult with Kibum’s cat like eyes on him the entire time.

Taemin sighed, standing up and pulling himself onto the side of the pool. “Is there a reason you’re here or…?” He prompted, understanding that he wasn’t going to get anywhere with the boy watching him.

“I couldn’t sleep,” Kibum told him with a small smile. “I guess I was still shaken up.”

Taemin’s frown grew as he turned to look at the other male. “Couldn’t sleep and shaken up? Why?”

Kibum sighed, turning and giving Taemin a gentle smile. “Worried about you. You gave us all quite a scare you know.”

Taemin stiffened, turning away from him and looking back at the moonlight illuminated water, watching the gentle ripples. “I’m fine, they discharged me as soon as I woke up properly. I have more medicine now too so it shouldn’t happen again.”

“How much medicine do you even need to take?”

He sighed slightly. “Don’t get me started, too much. I have a load for my lungs and now I have anxiety medicine too. In other words, I have a cocktail every day.”

Kibum laughed. “Sounds like a fun life. Now… you like swimming?” Taemin deadpanned.

“No, of course not. That’s why I chose to come to a swimming pool at 4am when I couldn’t sleep, because I hate swimming.”

“Alright, touchy touchy.”

Taemin shrugged a little, hugging his arms to his chest. He didn’t like being scrutinized by someone he didn’t even know.

“…How’re you feeling now?” Kibum asked after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence.

“I’m fine.” Taemin huffed, making sure not to catch the older’s eyes. “I’m fine.”

“Right, of course you are. Now how about the truth?”

Taemin glared, but sighed, beginning to speak again. “I’m still a little anxious, I don’t want to go to school really. Feeling everyone staring at me all the time… it’s unnerving, I don’t like it at all. I was finally past that stage back home, no-one was staring at me anymore at home because they were used to it… does everyone know about me passing out?” Kibum nodded slightly. “Brilliant, even more staring and questions.”

Taemin dropped his head down, burring it into his knees as he curled in on himself. He flinched when he felt Kibum’s hand on his , rubbing gentle circles into the tense flesh.

“Calm down,” Kibum soothed with a small laugh. “It’ll be okay, we just have to keep an eye out for you more, that’s all.”

The long haired boy pulled his head up, turning to Kibum. His hair was beginning to irritate him, the length often getting in the way, but he was way too stubborn to get it cut, especially since his mother hated how long it was.

It just meant he’d decided something else for himself, even if he disliked what it was.

“What do you mean keep an eye out for me more? What’s going on?” He questioned. Even in the dull light, Taemin could see that Kibum was wearing perfectly flicked eyeliner, his skin looked practically flawless yet his skin didn’t seem caked in BB cream. Taemin felt slightly jealous while looking at it, after all, his skin was prone to breaking out.

“Oh, you don’t know? Jinki-hyung has decided we’re taking you under our wing and you’re now our little friend, we have to look after you.”

“I don’t need looking after.”

“I beg to differ, either way, Minho, Jjong, Jinki and I will be watching over you now and making sure you’re okay.”

Taemin sighed, rolling his eyes and getting to his feet. “Come on, I better go get ready for school.”

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Taemin sat through the school day in a blurred daze. It turned out that going swimming at 4am instead of getting some much needed rest probably wasn’t the smartest idea as the exhaustion hit him tenfold half way through the 2nd period.

“Taemin, you look like absolute crap today.” Kai had told Taemin as they sat down for lunch once again.

“Thanks,” Taemin rolled his eyes, resting his head down on the table as he tried to tune out Chanyeol’s excited blabber about… well, something.

It was certainly irritating, but he couldn’t deny that it was happy background noise to get him through the day.

“Kyungsoo-hyung!” Kai’s excited explanation pulled Taemin’s head from the table. In front of him stood quite a short boy, the whites of his eyes seeming huge behind his thick rimmed glasses. “You’re actually staying with us for lunch!”

The boy nodded, sitting down beside Kai. “Yeah, choir is cancelled today, so looks like I’m stuck with you guys.” He smiled slightly, showing that he was just joking at Chanyeol made an offended sound, shoving Kyungsoo slightly.

“Great!” Kai said, standing. “That means you can meet Taemin-hyung!”

“Oh,” He said, turning to where Taemin was picking uninterestedly at his Kimchi. “The boy who fainted in Korean Literature yesterday?”

Taemin let out an irritated groan slamming his head back down on the table with a dull thunk, not noticing that Chanyeol had to dive to save the bottle of water from being destroyed as it fell off the table. “Yes, that’d be me.” Taemin confirmed grumpily.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you.” Kyungsoo put out his hand to shake Taemin’s, of which he carefully did. “Are you one of Jongin’s friends?”

“That Kai, and yes, he’s known we since we were babies.”

Kyungsoo frowned. “Really? How come we’ve never met before then?”

“I moved to Seoul 11 years ago, Kai and I didn’t lose contact but I didn’t visit very often, so I didn’t really meet any of his friends.”

“Yeah! Up until we were 7, Taemin and I were joined at the hip! I even learnt how to do his therapy!”

Kyungsoo turned toward Taemin, looking slightly confused. Giving a sigh, Taemin decided that he was going to find out anyway, no matter how much Taemin didn’t want the whole school to know.

“I have Cystic Fibrosis, when we were little, Kai learnt how to do Percussion to help me if my brother wasn’t around, that’s all.”

Kyungsoo nodded, not asking anymore and beginning to talk to Chanyeol about something or other, Taemin wasn’t really paying attention.

Instead, his focus was on the group over in the corner. Jinki had rushed into the dining hall and over to Key, Minho and Jonghyun, who were sat muttering between themselves, not really associating themselves with anyone else in the room.

Jinki had leant over, his eyes slightly teary as he spoke to the three males. Minho’s eyes had widened, quickly turning over to where Taemin was watching them, their gazes met for a second, and Minho almost looked… worried? Upset? Taemin couldn’t pinpoint the emotion on the boy’s eyes as he quickly got to his feet, rushing out of the room with the other members following.

It was then Taemin got a text.

To: Lee Taemin
From: Lee Taesun
Message: Don’t panic, but we have to talk when you get home, Mom and Dad won’t be here for a few days.

To: Lee Taesun
From: Lee Taemin
Message: Why? What’s going on?”

To: Lee Taemin
From: Lee Taesun
Message: You’ll see, just a prior warning.

Taemin’s stomach was suddenly filled with dread.

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He got through the rest of the day relatively easily, although he was very obviously unfocused in all of his classes.

Hey, he guessed the best part of being a sickly child was the teachers never wanted to tell you off, he could have walked out of the class and gone home and the teachers wouldn’t have said a word.

However, he’d been good and stayed in his classes, listening to at least a little of what his teachers were saying before gathering his stuff and going home as the bell rang, not bothering to say much to anyone as he hurried out of the gates.

“Taemin, wait,” A familiar voice called from outside the gate, a firm hand grasping his upper arm. “I gotta talk to you.”

Taemin turned to see Jonghyun holding on to his arm, brow furrowed and gaze concerned. Kibum and Minho leant on the gate behind him, not meeting his gaze and watching the floor under their feet.

“What? I have to go home, my brother text me saying he had to talk to me.”

“I know, I know just…” Jonghyun sighed, rubbing the back of his head and messing his two tone hair up awkwardly. “Here, here’s the house number. Jinki-hyung, Kibum, Minho and I all live together, so if you need anything, just call me okay? Just call…”

Taemin frowned as he took the piece of paper from Jonghyun’s hand. “I hardly know you, why would I use this?”

Kibum sighed, walked over. “Just trust us, we’ll be there for you, okay?”

He nodded slightly, frowning as he slowly pulled away, walking down the road.

“Weirdos…”