What is love ?

Was love real or not ?

Was it possible to love just one person for the rest of our life?

How do we know that person is our true love , if we never trying to find that person ? ?

How do I found my other half , if there were billions of people spread all over the world? ? ?

All of these questions were always spinning in my head , every time I see a pair of lovers who look at each other so tenderly  while showing off their love to the world, made ​​me even more aware with the emptiness of my heart , and my grief who doesn’t knew the meaning of love itself .

How does it feel ? Was it bitter or sweet ..

What about the pain ? was it hurt  like being stabbed multiple times with a sharp knife or it felt like being thrown from a building with the height of 100 feet ..

How was the happiness  ? Does it made you so happy until it felt like you were floating in heaven , or it made you felt complete,like you were the queen of the world who have everything..

Minho ..... could you tell me ? Could you show me ?

Could you..love me ? ... Like my father who loves my mother , like yunho’s love  to yuri , like adam who love eve   because she was one part of his ribs ? , Of course the answer is no , until the end of the world i’m sure there will never be a piece of your love for me , not because you don’t want to but because you can’t,but…i’m okay,I have to be okay..

You and I were stuck in a relationship that you and I  both so hates it , which is tied by a rope that  called destiny and words till death do us  apart ..

You know what?  even though you're always smiling sweetly while looked at me with that warm looks but I could clearly see the pain behind that smile there where only your true love who can heal it,and  behind your beautiful eyes, of course I could saw the hatred that you're clearly aimed at me ..

I'm sorry ..

If an apology could change everything ..

If the soul inside my stomach  were never existed ..

But oh god , although what we do were a sin , even though you hate me and the whole world seemed to curse me , I can’t  throw away these soul , because he is my son , our son , a gift that God gives to us the dirty soul ..

So I 've promised myself , I will learn to love you , love  your flaws and your excess, love you enough for the both of us, and whatever condition I promise to love you until my last breath , just like the promise we share to each other  in our wedding day ..i promised.