AMBER’s POV

I guess it is in my nature. Ever time I’m starts to feel nervous or even feel ecstatic, I always say the wrong words, the words that ruins whatever good moments it is. Like that one time that Krystal said that she loved me, I end up cracking a joke instead. I mean who on earth will respond like that?

“Amber, someone wants to talk to you.” Key, my best friend approached me on my seat giving me his sheepish smile.

“Who?” I questioned him.

“You know who!” He replied, wriggling his eyebrows with a playful smile.

I looked at the door and saw Krystal standing outside. She curved a smile on me and I did the same. I got up from my seat and approached her. Yes, we are friends now and I still haven’t told her how much I love her yet.

“What’s up?” I asked her.

“Can I ask you a favor?” she told me.

“Yeah.” I replied curving a smile.

“Can you give this to Minho?” she said, handing me a small pink envelope.

I know what is. I know that it is a love letter. I feel a rush of jealousy started to cover my heart. But  I keep my cool and force a smile.

“Sure.” The only word that escapes from my mouth.

“Thanks Am. “ she said happily, giving me a light hug before she said her goodbye.

I walked inside the classroom, putting on a poker face. I handed the love letter that Krystal gave me to Minho.  I mask myself with a fake smile. My pride would not allow me to let anyone notice that I’m jealous, even to my best friend Key.

“Whoa! A love letter from Krystal Jung? How cool is that?!” Taemin exclaimed.

“Open it bro!” Jonghyun said, swinging his arm around Minho.

“Alright!” Minho replied happily.

I can see Key is glancing at me, looking at me with concern in his eyes. I put on an ‘I don’t care’ expression and just waited for Minho to read what is written for him. He read it to us loud and clear. As a smiles grow wider and wider on his face, my heart slowly breaks.

“Congratulations bro!” Onew remarked.

Others followed and then they looked at me when I didn’t say anything.

“Congratulations.” I said, forcing a smile.

I find it hard to utter that single word. I know deep in my heart that I didn’t mean it. The hell, I am not happy for Minho. Am I a bad friend?

“So what will you do?” Key asked me right after our class.

“Do in what?”I questioned him, pretending to be clueless.

“You know what I mean.” He replied.

“Am I supposed to do something?” I answered with sarcasm and scoffed. “She already made a choice Key and I’m cool with it.”

I swing my backpack around my shoulder and head outside our classroom. Key followed me behind and then, we spotted Minho and Krystal talking in the lobby. I wanted to just walk away but then Minho called us, so we approached them.

“Are you guys going home?” he asked us.

“Yeah, I’m going home.” Key answered him.

“What about you, Am?” Krystal asked me.

“I’m not sure yet.”

“Well, you guys are neighbors, right? Can you walk Krystal home in my place Am? I can’t walk her room because I have a soccer practice.”Minho said to me.

I can see that she’s expecting me to say yes. They are all expecting me to say yes and I wanted to see yes. It’s true that we are neighbors. Our house is just next to each other. I wanted to say yes but then I ended up saying the opposite.

“Sorry, but I can’t walk her home too.” I answered and I can see the disappointment in her face and the surprised look in the guys. “I have to drop by somewhere else.”

“Don’t tell me you’re referring to Bae’s house?” Minho asked as he narrowed his eyes on me flashing a teasing smile.

“Yeah.” And I uttered a complete lie.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I have this feeling that I want to show her that I have someone else too. That like her, I don’t have feeling s for her anymore and I don’t care that she is with Minho. But the thought that I might hurt her by saying always stings my heart. I might be stupid and delusional because of thinking that way but the look in her eyes always bothers me. The way she looks at me and gaze at me always makes me confuse.

“I’m sorry, Krys.” I apologized to her.

“Don’t be, it’s fine.” She said curving a smile.

“I will walk you instead, Krystal.” Key volunteered.

“Thanks, Key.” Krystal replied.

I bid my goodbye and turn my back and walked away. No matter how close Krystal to me, I know her heart is getting further away from me. And I won’t be able to say to her the words that I wanted her to know.

‘I'm deeply in love with you!’