Literally what it says on the can: an interlude chapter. was too long to fit into the 2nd part as planned. This happens around a year and a half before Youngjae dies.

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Daehyun can’t trace back to the exact moment where he ceases to keep to himself and lets everything out to Yoo Youngjae, can’t recall the precise instance where he tipped the scales from being carefully chummy with the younger boy to completely carefree, where he has literally no more guard to let down in front of the other. It just happened somehow. Daehyun still questions how it came to be sometimes, in between blabbering to him while trying to stuff as many pieces of fried chicken into his mouth per minute as humanely possible. He’d stop talk-chewing awhile, take a mental trip down memory lane, get annoyed at how foggy things a month ago seem (much less a year ago), try pushing the thought to the recesses of his mind, and continue with whatever train of thought happens to cross his head at the moment. (Youngjae would usually roll his eyes at his sudden brain fart.)

It doesn’t matter how it happened, all that matters is it did.

There is always no physical distance left between them by this point, Daehyun usually being the one with his head in Youngjae’s lap or his cheek on his shoulder or his back pushing against the curve of the other boy’s spine, both of them back to back…. in the same way, there is no emotional barrier either, Daehyun lettings strings of thoughts leave his lips with nary a filter to sort them out first. Youngjae always hums along gently to his words.

“Jae?” Then one time, daehyun comes across a thought that disturbs him quite a bit. He actually turns it over in his mind before voicing it out.

“Hmm?” Youngjae hums in response, the same way he always does.

“I talk too much, don’t I?”

“-what?” Youngjae is caught off guard; Daehyun feels the world beneath him shift as Youngjae dislodges himself from under Daehyun’s weight, Daehyun reluctantly lifting his cheek from the other’s shoulder as the younger turns to face him. Youngjae looks at him straight in the face.

“Why are you suddenly bringing it up? Did someone say something to you?”

Daehyun swallows, hating how small Youngjae’s tone - surprisingly soft - makes him feel. This is Youngjae only to him. Daehyun knows Youngjae is a cumulation of who he has to be around different people, but Youngjae is different when with Daehyun. Youngjae is… Youngjae. (to be very completely honest, Daehyun doesn’t quite understand himself what Youngjae is because Youngjae is a labyrinth and Daehyun is still finding his way to the centre)

“No,” Daehyun answers thickly. “It’s just… don’t you realise I’m always the one talking when we’re up here?” He gestures vaguely to their surroundings, the rooftop of their apartment they usually escape to. “It’s just that you know all the stupid things about me by now and I really only know some things about you so isn’t there something wrong with this like doesn’t it mean I have too big a mouth and should shut up sometimes and let other people talk like this is why I have literally no friends because really who wants to entertain a--”

Youngjae reaches out and cups a hand over his mouth.

It doesn’t block his mouth entirely, but Daehyun feels Youngjae’s cold, stubby fingers come into contact with his numb lips and shuts up accordingly. He realises belatedly that his accent was coming out a little earlier, which is often the case when he speaks faster than he can think. He clears his throat to adjust it back, and Youngjae hand falls from Daehyun’s face, as though he takes it as a sign.

“That just kinda proved my point,” Daehyun manages weakly. His lips feels even colder after the brief touch from Youngjae’s fingers.

“But you do know me,” Youngjae replies quietly. Daehyun almost misses it.

“You do know me.” Youngjae says again, firmly this time, as though to convince himself as much as he’s trying to convince Daehyun.

“I… I’ve never done this before. Any of this. With anyone. You’re…” Daehyun realises Youngjae is shying away from meeting his eyes, staring intently intstead at the hard ground that separates them.

“...thank you, Jung Daehyun.”

Daehyun blinks in surprise. Of all things, this he was not expecting. “Wha-”

“You want to know so I’ll tell you now. The world is too noisy for me sometimes. I can’t even hear myself think. Everything is busy thinking for me. But up here… I actually really like hearing you talk.”

Daehyun opens his mouth. And closes it. And opens it again. And closes it yet again. For once, words fail him. (someone take this date down please)

“You make everything else quiet,” Youngjae finishes quietly, and Daehyun loses all semblance of self-control he thought he possessed.

Suddenly he’s grabbing the younger boy, wrapping his arms around him, exploring his mop of hair with one hand and gripping him hard with the other. Youngjae is stiff in his arms, having made a surprised noise at the back of his throat at the unexpected hug. Daehyun really doesn’t give a , Youngjae is just gonna have to it up--

“Shut up. Like shut the up. You have no idea how much I--” Daehyun doesn’t know what he’s trying to get at, why he’s scolding Yongjae when he’s the one who talks too much, doesn’t get why he’s choking up when Youngjae is the one who is obviously not okay. In the back of his mind he dimly thinks this escalated quickly, but as he said, he really doesn’t care anymore.

Daehyun pulls away from Youngjae and grips Youngjae’s shoulders with both hands, hard.

“I think I love you,” he breathes, staring at the pale face looking back at him. Youngjae’s eyes are wide.

“I want to keep knowing you, you hear? I don’t know know what we’re doing, what I’m doing, but I don’t care, I want you to be okay, okay?” Daehyun really does not know what he’s even saying anymore. Is there a translator for ed up thoughts--

Somehow Youngjae gets it.

“J-just-- keep talking,” Youngjae exhales in response. “I’ll be okay. I promise.”

(Daehyun doesn’t remember when he starts having no reservations around Yoo Youngjae, but he remembers this moment distinctly, when Youngjae finally lets him into his world, if just by a little tiny bit)

Daehyun does exactly as Youngjae requests, pulling him close once again, mumbling in Youngjae’s ear as the younger boy slowly starts humming along.

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sorry if this was messy it's late i have to get up at 5am everything um please tell me how it was i will edit this tmr/the next day/the day after sorry for grammar etc