Chapter One: The Encounter

「A new semester. A new beginning.」

“… A new beginning, huh?” Yongguk scoffed sarcastically as he read the unreasonably enormous banner hanging across the university’s entrance—as if making a statement to the students coming in. The words reached his eyes in no time but the meaning of them did not reach his heart at the slightest, because Yongguk felt so disgusted just thinking about the idea of a supposedly new beginning.

What’s the point of it when your whole life ended like two weeks ago? What’s the reason to keep breathing when every breath you take reminds you of nothing but painful memories? What’s the point of even trying when you fail every single time you do anything at all? What’s the point of living when you’re literally dead inside? What’s point of everything—a new beginning? To Yongguk, the story of his life was already at its last page… and that in just a few more lines, he would reach the point with the word ‘The End’ on it. And that was all it would ever be… nothing more than just a closed book.

“Yongguk-hyung!”

A rather harsh slap on his right shoulder startled Yongguk back to reality as the sharp pain almost sent him out loud. He turned around immediately and fought hard not to yell at his hoobae, Junhong—the boy was smiling rather innocently that it was making it harder for Yongguk to even consider being angry at him.

“Yah, Junhong. Not the right shoulder,” Yongguk gently reminded as he massaged his shoulder lightly, trying to ease away the pain.

It finally hit Junhong like a lightning bolt of what he had done just now. His eyes went ten times larger than normal and his jaw dropped wide open as he put a hand up to cover his mouth.

“Oh my God, hyung! I’m so sorry! I completely forgot!” Junhong exclaimed apologetically. He tried to check if Yongguk’s shoulder was alright but the older male politely pushed his hand away, shaking his head in the process.

“It’s fine. Just, don’t do that again,” Yongguk forced a heavy smile just so he could reassure Junhong—adding a pat in the back a moment later.

It wasn’t his fault in the first place. It wasn’t as if it was his job to remember every little detail that has happened in Yongguk’s life. It wouldn’t be fair to Junhong if Yongguk expected him to act any different than he was the previous semester just because things had certainly changed for Yongguk. His life was a wreck now and he should feel like a wreck on his own and that there was no need for him to drag anyone else with him. It certainly wouldn’t be fair to any of his friends—not that he had that many friends, anyway.

Junhong nodded in relief, smiling nervously towards his sunbae. He looked at Yongguk for quite a while and hesitated if he should ask the question or not, but Junhong went with it anyway.

“… Are you fine, hyung?”

Yongguk froze. His eyes were fixed on Junhong’s but they were distant, as if it got him thinking hard about the answer to that question. One simple question but Yongguk didn’t know why it could be so hard for him to come up with an answer. Maybe because if he said he is, then he would be lying… but if he said he isn’t, then he would just look like a sappy little bastard who are seeking for nothing but cheap sympathies from other people. It was down to that or lying, nothing in between.

So Yongguk went with the lie.

“I’m fine.”

And although he didn’t say it, Junhong could see straight in his eyes that Yongguk was lying. But he knew better not to keep prying—maybe Yongguk-hyung just need some time to heal, or a right person to heal him, Junhong thought to himself.

There was a comfortable silence for a while before another young boy suddenly jumped in from the back, causing both Yongguk and Junhong to almost stumble forward to the ground.

“I’ve missed you guys so much!” the boy that turned out to be Jongup exclaimed in excitement as he struggled to put both his hands around the two taller guys.

Junhong just laughed it off—genuinely pleased to be coming back to the university and to be meeting up with his friends—but Yongguk found it hard to even move a muscle on his face. He settled with a firm touch on Jongup’s back instead when smiling seemed to be the most difficult thing to do now.

“That was it? For the entire semester break, that was the only thing you did?” the 2nd-year Traditional Arts student Youngjae, half-shouted in disbelief at his classmate Daehyun, also a 2nd-year TradArts student.

Daehyun nodded hesitantly, not sure as to why it came out as a shock to Youngjae that the only thing he did worth remembering on his semester break was the fact that he had to actually performed for his aunt’s wedding. What was so shocking about that? His aunt asked him for a favor and he delivered it—though it might came off slightly exaggerating to know that Daehyun took almost all of the time staging and choreographing a perfect performance for his aunt—literally almost all of his time. Hey, he took performing very seriously and there was nothing wrong with it, Daehyun thought to himself.

“Can we just let it go now?” Daehyun grunted as he directed his gaze away from Youngjae and towards the older male to his right.

“What about you, Himchan-hyung? Did anything worth remembering on your break?” Daehyun asked, genuinely curious about what his hyung might have done on his semester break. His life was always full of surprises and Daehyun may have gotten a little too excited just thinking about it. Youngjae seemed to be interested, too, as he gave the pale-faced male his full attention now.

Kim Himchan gulped. Of course he did a lot of fun things during his break, but a certain unfortunate event stood out the most to him—that night when he couldn’t sleep, that night when a stranger came knocking on his front door, that night when he was covered in someone else’s blood, that night that made him wonder how was the boy doing every single time before he went to bed.

The look on the boy’s face never really left Himchan’s mind. He looked extremely solemn, heartbroken and sad, and there was nothing positive in his expression—and his eyes, his eyes were just… dead. Himchan just wished the boy stayed a little longer in the hospital so that they could meet again when he came and visit the next day… wait, is that him?

“Daehyun-ah, do you know who’s that guy? The one talking to your friend, Jongup?” Himchan suddenly asked, completely shock that the boy he’d been thinking about in his mind was literally right there in front of him—just a few feet away from where they were sitting.

“What?” Daehyun looked swiftly towards the direction of Himchan’s eyes as his own turned to slits so that he could get a better view of that said person.

“Ah, that’s Bang Yongguk-sunbaenim, a 3rd-year ModArts student… you guys are in the same batch, hyung, and he’s quite famous, too. Haven’t you seen him around before?” Daehyun raised a brow and Himchan just shook his head reluctantly—somewhat embarrassed for being ignorant towards his surroundings.

“Well anyway, I remember he was one of the performers in last year’s Music Festival, and one of the favorites, too! He’s a very good songwriter and an amazing rapper from what I’ve heard—a well-rounded performer, a true artist if you ask me—” Daehyun abruptly stopped when he realized he had been praising Yongguk way more than he intend to. He laughed shyly towards Himchan but he shot a death glare towards Youngjae who was grinning widely because of that.

“Anyway, what about him, hyung? You’ve never been interested in anyone before,” Daehyun asked, curious. He turned to look at Youngjae only to receive a shrug instead, indicating that the latter hadn’t had the slightest idea as to why Himchan asked, too.

Himchan stayed silent—his eyes were still fixed on the figure not far from him. That’s definitely him, he thought to himself. Why hadn’t he noticed him before this? It was probably because Himchan has always been ignorant; he was so used to being the center of the attention that the idea of giving other people his attention wasn’t really appealing to him. That boy, though—Bang Yongguk, isn’t it?

But before Himchan could even say anything, he heard Daehyun already calling out for Jongup for whatever reasons Himchan just couldn’t think straight at this point.

“W-w-wait! What are you doing, Daehyun-ah?” Himchan stuttered, feeling a bit panicky now that Jongup, Junhong and Yongguk were walking towards them.

Himchan couldn’t keep still as he pulled Youngjae closer—attempting to hide himself away from Yongguk. He wasn’t sure if he was even ready to meet the boy he’d been thinking about for the past two weeks. Plus, the way they met each other wasn’t something pleasing to be remembered anyway. For all he knew, his face alone would trigger Yongguk from the tragedy and that couldn’t be a good thing.

When they finally reached the table where the TradArts students were, Yongguk was stunned to see the familiar face of the stranger—the one he remembered clearly on his mind. He might’ve been staring at Himchan—who obviously avoided his every gaze—for a long while now as it was getting too obvious to the others.

“Uhh. Why don’t we go and register to our dorms, first? You guys can stay here and wait for us in a bit. You know, since you both are seniors and you live off campus,” Jongup purposely tried to set his hyungs up when he received somewhat like a signal from Daehyun—who in turned, smiled widely over his suggestion.

Before Yongguk and Himchan could say anything to protest, all four younger boys were already out of sight, skipping happily towards the dorms’ management office.

Yongguk cursed under his breath. He was still standing at the side of the table when Himchan shifted nervously in his seat. Yongguk thought about leaving and to just wait up for Jongup and Junhong somewhere else but his legs weren’t moving and his eyes were suddenly glued to the latter in front of him now.

“Please… sit down,” Himchan finally found the courage to speak. He looked up to Yongguk, surprised that the male was staring back at him all these while.

“… I can’t,” Yongguk’s voice came out soft as he shook his head.

“Why not?” Himchan sounded more than just surprised now. He waited anxiously for Yongguk's reply, and when the words finally came out of the latter's mouth, what Himchan feared the most came true.

“Your face… It reminds me so much of that night.”

TBC.

[A/N] How was it? :D No Banghim actions for now, because they're both still pretty awkward between each other :S The next chapter would be purely Banghim  though. I'd like to develop their characters for the whole chapter so... look forward to that! :) Comments would be lovely and thanks for reading! See you in the next one! <333 xxx Mao.