Laughter could be heard from all around, drowning in with the conversations of people chatting with each other, having the time of their lives. The bar was always busy on Saturdays. At a booth in the corner of the bar sat five boys. Four laughed and joked amongst themselves while one sat quietly, staring at his half full glass of alcohol. “Hey, Ji. What’s with that look?” Taeyang asked, still chuckling slightly.

 

    “Oh, uh...nothing. Sorry. What were we talking about?”

 

    “Top hyung finally managing to snag a girl! He finally had the balls to ask out Bom!”

 

    “Yah! I could’ve done it sooner! I just wanted to play it safe.” Top turned his head away dramatically.

 

    “Sure, hyung. But really, Ji, what’s on your mind? You’re not still thinking about her are you?”

 

    Jiyong shook his head and sighed. He didn’t want his friends to worry about him. So, he faked a smile. “Nah, I’m totally fine. Let’s drink up!”

    

    “Now, that’s the hyung I know!”

    

    Seungri poured himself another glass of beer and raised it to bump glasses with his hyungs. They all gulped down their beers within seconds. After a few hours of incessant drinking and laughing, they all got drunk. Jiyong, who felt dizzy and sick to his stomach, stumbled out of the booth and made his way to the bathroom. He fell to his knees in front of the toilet and emptied the contents in his stomach.

 

    He dry heaved for a minutes before finally sitting up. He flushed the toilet and walked over to the sink to wash his face. Jiyong stared at himself in the horribly graffieded mirror and sighed. He truly was a sight for sore eyes. Dark circles were evident around his eyes and his face looked sickly and pale. His eyes were bloodshot and he had about a week of stubble on his chin.

 

    Sick of seeing his reflection, he smashed his fist against the mirror causing it to shatter into a million pieces. As he stared at his broken reflection in the now bloodied mirror, he let out a small sob. Kwon Jiyong was a broken man. But he was not about to let his friends see that. So, he wrapped his handkerchief around his bleeding knuckles in attempt to conceal the damage.

 

    Jiyong walked out of the bathroom and saw his friends half-awake and dead drunk. He nudged Taeyang to wake up. “Yah. It’s late. I think I’m going to head out.”

 

    “Oh, . Yea. We’ll head out, too.”

    

    The other men woke up and they leaned against each other for support as the staggered out of the bar. Jiyong trailed behind them, lost in his own thoughts. He was drunk, yes but he was very much aware of what he was doing. They walked over to the parking lot and Jiyong waved a goodbye. “Whoa, whoa, you aren’t driving yourself are you?” Top slurred.

 

    “Nah, I’m just going to sleep in the car.”

 

    “Good. Cuz we are ED! Whoo!” Top pumped his fist in the air and fell back against Daesung.

 

    Jiyong laughed at their stupidity and turned to walk off toward his car. “Yah, Kwon, don’t do anything stupid!”

 

    Jiyong just nodded and continued on to his car. He got in and leaned back against the steering wheel, closing his eyes. He then let out a tired, exhausted sigh. After a moment, he took out his phone and pressed on a certain person’s contact to send them a message: I miss you…  “You can’t keep doing this to yourself, Jiyong.”

 

    He looked over to the passenger side and smiled slightly seeing the girl he loved so dearly sitting beside him. “I know...but I can’t help it. I love you, Dara.”

 

    “And I love you. But it’s time you moved on.”

 

    Jiyong ignored her and shook his head. “Do you remember? That summer we met? You accidentally spilled a smoothie on me and so to be even you dumped your entire cup of coffee on yourself.”

 

    “Well, I thought it was the best thing to do.”

 

    “And I’m glad you did. If that never happened, I never would’ve met you. I never would have fallen in love with you. I...never would have felt this much pain…” A tear fell from the corner of his eye.

 

    “I’m sorry for hurting you.”

 

    “I forgive you. No matter what happens, I’ll never forget you. You, who tought me to smile. You, who made me see the beauty in life. You opened my eyes to the world and made me see things differently. I never got to thank you for that. And now I never will…”

 

    Dara looked at him sadly and touched a hand to his cheek. “That’s life. Sometimes, you regret things you should’ve done but never did. But, Jiyong, you can’t keep living this way. And you know even if you send that message, I won’t be there to answer.”

 

    “I know. I just miss you…”

 

    “I know.”

 

    She leaned over and softly kissed his lips. Jiyong’s breathing hitched and he every restraint he had on himself, broke. Tears flowed endlessly down his face as soundless sobs escaped his lips. “There are so many things I wish I could’ve done for you. If I had known sooner, I would’ve spent more time with you. I would’ve cherished you more.”

 

    “But that’s the thing...no one can turn back the hands of time, no matter what you do. Even if you could, you know things wouldn’t be any different. Life is a precious thing but you never know when it’s going to be taken away from you. And that’s why it wouldn’t be different. Because you don’t know.”

 

    “Maybe you’re right...maybe things wouldn’t have been different but I wish they were. If I could, I would’ve spent every waking second telling you how much I love you and how much you mean to me. I would’ve gave you little kisses in the morning and back hugs at night. I would’ve held you in arms and never let you go. There are so many things I want to do with you but now I never will…”

 

    “You may not be able to do it with me. But you can have that with someone else, Ji...but you have to let me go…”

 

    Jiyong shook his head, crying and begging her not to say such things. How could he let her go? How could he just let the love of his life go? Dara meant everything to him. He couldn’t let her go. “I-I can’t let you go, Dara. I love you. So much. You were the first person I ever fell in love with. YOU held my heart. How do you expect me to let go of my heart?”

 

    “Believe me. This is the hardest part. But over time, your wounds will heal and everything will be fine again. You are strong, Jiyong. You have a bright future ahead of you. Don’t throw that all away for me. Don’t hold onto the past and throw away your future.”

 

    “Dara, you were my future.”

 

    “Exactly. I was. But now it’s time to find a new one. You deserve to be happy, Jiyong. You deserve to laugh and smile a lot...even if I’m not the one making you laugh or smile. You have to let me go. It’s for the best.”

    

    “Is it?” Jiyong looked at her, his eyes puffy and cheeks red.

 

    “Yes. Jiyong, I love you. And that’s why I want you to let me go and find someone else to love. If you truly love me, then you have to let me go, too.”

 

    Jiyong leaned his head against the steering wheel and cried, his shoulders shaking and breathing heavy. His heart felt like it was breaking all over again. Let you go? Is that even possible?

 

    The next day, Jiyong went to the cemetery. He walked along the path leading to a large cherry blossom tree with gravestones beneath it Slowly, he walked over to one particular one and kneeled down before it. He stuck a bouquet of white roses in the vase and cleared off the layer of dirt on the stone.

 

Sandara Park

In memory of a loving sister, daughter, and friend

1987- 2010

 

A slightly smile curved upon his lips. His eyes began to water again as he touched the cold granite gently. Light pink petals fluttered down from the trees, swirling and dancing in the wind. Slowly, Jiyong stood up and took a step back. “Thank you…”Jiyong whispered.

 

“For what?”

 

Dara’s voice came from beside him. He turned and smiled at her slightly. “Thank for learn pain and love. Thank you for standing by my side through the bad times. Thank you for being you. But most importantly, thank you for loving me and allowing me to love a girl as wonderful as you.”

 

She said nothing and smiled. Jiyong reached over and gently touched her face. He stared at her, remembering every soft conture of her face, her lips, her adorable nose. And finally his eyes landed on her eyes. “I’ve always loved your eyes. They were so beautiful.”

 

“You’ve never told me that before…”

 

“I know but I’ve always thought it. Just another thing I’ll never get to say to you. But, these eyes, here have allowed me to see the world so much clearer. And I know that I’ll never forget you, but I think I’m ready to let you go.”

 

Soon, Dara’s body began to fade away. Jiyong smiled sadly, a single tear rolling down his cheek. He was sad, yes but happy. It felt like a great load was being lifted off of his chest. “Thank you…” Dara whispered and faded away.

Jiyong let out a shaky sigh. I’ll never forget you and I know that I’ll always love you. But it’s because of that, I’m letting you go. Saranghae…

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Whoo! So that was a bit heavy to write. Lol. Anyway, hope you enjoyed! :) Please comment and subscribe. I tired up a little while writing that...hehe. Hope you did to. Hehehe. 

Thank you!
 

-DragonSpirit