'Do I look a little...... Bland?'

I've been sitting here looking at my mirror for about five minutes. I've been told that's not long but I don't just 'look at myself' in the mirror.

'I look manly right?'

...

...

.

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DREAMY INTRO OF ANNOYING NARRATION THAT YOU WILL PROBABLY HATE AND MOSTLY LIKELY WILL SKIP


You see, I'm not manly. I want to be but, even though I enjoy the constant attention payed my way, the girls in my school think I'm.. "cute".

'Stop worrying about it! You look great! This eyeliner is totally y!'

...

...

Hm... Maybe that's why the girls think I'm cute.

I could do plenty of things to look manly but they all seem so... Boyish.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not gay or anyth (Don't lie you er, you're the gayest most queer son of a b-) -OKAY!!....okay so I'm a little gay but anyway (a little? Really....?)......... you. I'm gay. WHATEVER!!

You are dragging this on inner self. (You are dragging this on inner self blah, blah, blah).

*sigh*

You better stop reading this; it won't get any better.

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Hah! Told you it wouldn't get any better


-end-

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PSYCH!! So do you really want to read more? This will get better, I swear.

I guess I should tell you who I am. Hello my name is Do Kyu-(Bridget)-ngsoo..... My name is Do Kyu-(Bridget)-ngsoo.... Do Kyungsoo. My name is Do Kyungsoo. Ignore my inner self, he's an .. (He? You think I'm a 'he'?!) You are a he! You are a mini-me! A mini-me. I am a 'he' therefore you are a 'he'.

(Just because I'm inside of you doesn't mean I'm a boy. Haven't you ever noticed how cute I am? How I have always wanted to dance to Gee by SNSD to show everybody how adorable I can be? Buingg buingg~ <3<3<3<3<3<3)

Whatever. I'm Do Kyungsoo. My inner self is a girl.

I've been wondering how to look more manly (no reason to tell you that though; I mean, I already did).

I could either dye my hair, wear looser pants, start acting ghetto, or get a girlfriend.

That's a lot of ways, you might think. Why not simply pick one? Well, I'll tell you: I like my brown hair, my legs are ing y and only skinny jeans do the job, ghetto is ratchet, and I'm gay as so that rules out a girlfriend.

Want to know a few things about me? I should probably tell you anyway before I start my story.

I'm 21; a college student. I major in culinary arts and minor in European history.

Judging by my major, you probably already know this but I'm a mean cook. I can cook you anything you want but, personally, I like crepes.

I like to but I've never topped anybody. I don't really mind but my friends think that I'm actually too gay for them. What the ? Ya, Huang Zitao! You think I'm the gayest one here? Pfft~soon enough)

I also have a thing for vinyl. Records have such a nicer sound than mp3 will ever have. I honestly don't mind having to clean a record every time I use it; all the more fun that way.

Alright, alright, enough about me. Let's go back to my story.

DREAMY OUTRO OF ANNOYING NARRATION

----

'Maybe I should just be gay. I mean, it's almost no use trying not to be seeing as I'm practically hopeless; I'm pretty gay.'

I turn my head to the left and tilt my chin up, looking at the more attractive part of my body; my collarbones. Everybody knows Do Kyungsoo for his collarbones because they are always there to stare at.

When I stands up to leave a lecture, I have eyes on me until I disappear. I don't look but I sure can feel the glue drying on my back from where people stuck their eyes to it.

I look at the digital clock on my dresser.

'Time to get dressed!' I think to myself.

I'm always excited when I get to dress. I'm a fashionista; it's my life!

I walk to my wardrobe and pull back the two doors, walking in with small steps to make sure I don't pass some lucky garment.

I stay standing in there for quite a while, unsure of which pair of shoes to wear.

'My golden Gucci brand sneaks? Nah.... Or maybe.... My HBA casual dress shoes... Hm..'

In the end, my outfit looks like I had a stylist design it. Why wouldn't it? I'm Do Kyungsoo - hello~?

With a pair of dark green skinny jeans, I walk out of my room wearing a black graphic tee and a yellow hoodie. My Gucci rubberized leather laceups squeaking on the expensive marble floor of the university's mens dorms.

Yeah.... I look y.

I walk to the gym, bored. 'I hope Kris is there; I need some entertainment and that always makes me laugh.'

When I get to the gymnasium nobody is there.

'Vacant, huh?'

Great. Now I'm just the third wheel. I won't pretend I don't know what Kris is doing to his gay boyfriend, Zitao.

Let's just say you don't want to know.

I'm always alone when those two are together. I could have as many friends as I'd like. The whole school LOVES me. I just don't LOVE them. They are annoying little fanboys and fangirls, always following me around and asking me out on dates that, providing I actually accept their invitation, I'll have to pay for anyway.

'What do I do~~~' I whine to myself silently.

Oh! I know! Time to get manly. I like my hair but, out of all of the options I have, I would rather pick that one.

What color though?

I walk to the front door and look at the dorms public phonebook. The nearest salon is about half a mile into town. Close.

I've always wanted an excuse to be dumb. Maybe I'll go blonde.

I set off for the hair and nails salon.

I make it there and dye my hair blonde

The end.

Pretty nice story, eh? Well I don't feel like writing anymore so you if you think it's bad. -_-d








AUTHOR'S NOTE: So hey... lol I know it's terrible but I have to write a fanfiction for every song on my playlist and this song is badass so----> *gives you the finger and pretends not to*

P.S- Yes, I have lots of songs in my playlist (when I say playlist I mean my gargantuan music library ^^;) but here's a sneak peak at the oneshots I'll be posting. v down there -_- But before you scroll down, there's more. I wonder if I should just change the title of this ff to something that hass to do with a oneshot per song or whatever since I don't feel like creating a BUNCH..... Nah... I'll just create a bunch. :P Well maybe not actually... What do you think?


MARY'S SICK PLAYLIST:

You Don't Know Me - Elizabeth Gillies

21 Guns - Green Day

Alone - SISTAR

Baby Don't Cry - EXO (kandmduh~)

Baby I - Ariana Grande

Back to Back - The Ready Set

Beautiful Liar - Beyonce

Crazy In Love - Beyonce ft. Jay Z

Birthday - Selena Gomez

Bottom of the Ocean - Miley Cyrus

Boy In Luv - BTS (Bangtan Boys)

Breathe - G Dragon

Blonde - Bridgit Mendler

Hurricane - Bridgit Mendler

Oops... I Did it Again - Britney Spears

Piece of Me - Britney Spears

Cagayake!Girls - Houkago Tea Time (K-On)

Can't Back Down - Camp Rock 2: Final Jam

Can't Be Tamed - Miley Cyrus

City Lights - Bridgit Mendler

The Climb - Miley Cyrus

Come Down With Love - Allstar Weekend

Determinate - Lemonade Mouth

Don't Forget - Demi Lovato

Don't Wanna Be Torn - Miley Cyrus

Du Style - Jena Lee

Every Part of Me - Miley Cyrus

Every Time You Lie - Demi Lovato

Growl - EXO

Express - Christina Aguilera

Fallin' - Alicia Keys

Fly On the Wall

Freakin' Me Out - The Ready Set

You - Lily Allen

Fude Pen Boru Pen (Calligraphy Pen Ball Point Pen) - Houkago Tea Time (K-On)

Get Back - Demi Lovato

Ghost Of You - Selena Gomez

Gift Of A Friend - Demi Lovato

Express 999 - Girls Generation (SNSD)

Look At Me - Girls Generation (SNSD)

Girls Girls Girls - GOT7

Give It Up - Elizabeth Gillies & Ariana Grande

Go! Go! Maniac - Houkago Tea Time (K-On)

Gone Not Around Any Longer - SISTAR19

Goodbye - Miley Cyrus

He Could Be the One - Hannah Montana (Miley Cyrus)

Heartattack - EXO M

Heart Goes Boom - Houkago Tea Time (K-On)

Heartless - Kanye West

Here We Go Again - Demi Lovato

History - EXO K

Hollywood Dream - The Ready Set

I Got A Boy (IGAB) - Girls Generation (SNSD)

If I Ain't Got You - Alicia Keys

If We Were A Movie - Hannah Montana (Miley Cyrus)

I'll Always Remember You - Miley Cyrus

Impossible - Shontelle

Marry Me - Jason Derulo

Who Dat - J.Cole (AKA badass dude)

JUMP - BTS (Bangtan Boys)

As Long As You Love Me (Acoustic Version) - Justin Bieber

Boyfriend (Acoustic Version) - Justin Bieber

Tenshi ni Fureta Yo!! - Houkago Tea Time (K-On)

Karma - Alicia Keys

Killer - The Ready Set

Kiss It Goodbye - Miley Cyrus

La La Land - Demi Lovato

Lead Me - SISTAR

Let It Go - Demi Lovato

Let Out the Beast - EXO M

Liberty Walk - Miley Cyrus

Limits - The Ready Set

Listen!! - Houkago Tea Time

Live Your Life - T.I ft. Rihanna

Loose Yourself - Eminem

Love Like Woe - The Ready Set

Loving You - SISTAR

Lucky - EXO K

Ma Boy - SISTAR19

Made In the USA - Demi Lovato

Make it Shine - Victoria Justice

MAMA - EXO M

Me, Myself and Time - Demi Lovato

Michi GO - G Dragon

Million Dollar Bills - Lorde

Miss Independent - Ne-Yo

MR. TAXI - Girls Generation (SNSD)

New York - Jay Z ft. Alicia Keys

N.O - BTS (Bangtan Boys)

No Mercy - SISTAR

No Mercy - B.A.P

No More Dream - BTS (Bangtan Boys)

No One - Alicia Keys

NO, Thank You! - Houkago Tea Time

One In A Million - Hannah Montana (Miley Cyrus)

One of A Kind - G Dragon

Ordinary Girl - Miley Cyrus

Oscar - Girls Generation (SNSD)

Party In the USA - Miley Cyrus

Permanant December - Miley Cyrus

Pon De Replay - Rihanna

Put Your Hearts Up - Ariana Grande

Ready Or Not - Bridgit Mendler

Remember December - Demi Lovato

Right Stuff - New Kids On the Block (Make fun of me and you're dead ._.)

Right There - Ariana Grande

Rock N Roll - Avril Lavigne

Rude Boy - Rihanna

See You Again - Miley Cyrus

One and the Same - Selena Gomez & Demi Lovato

Show Me How You Burlesque - Christina Aguilera

Skyscraper - Demi Lovato

Somebody - Lemonade Mouth

Something's Got A Hold On Me - Christina Aguilera

Stay My Baby - Miranda Cosgrove

Summertime - Bridgit Mendler

Take A Hint - Victoria Justice & Elizabeth Gillies

- Jason Derulo

This Is Me - Demi Lovato & Joe Jonas

This Is My Paradise - Bridgit Mendler

Tonight - Big Bang

Tough Lover - Christina Aguilera

Trainwreck - Demi Lovato

Turn Down For What - DJ Snake & Lil Jon

U Smile (Acoustic Version) - Justin Bieber

U-Go-Girl - Lee Hyori

Unfaithful - Rihanna

Warrior - B.A.P

The Way - Ariana Grande

We Are Bulletproof - BTS (Bangtan Boys)

What Is Love - EXO K

What To Do - Demi Lovato

Whatever You Like - T.I

What's My Name - Rihanna ft. Drake

When I look I At You - Miley Cyrus

Wherever I Go - Miley Cyrus

Who Owns My Heart - Miley Cyrus

Wishlist - The Ready Set

Wolf (Korean Version) - EXO

Work Of Art - Demi Lovato

Wouldn't Change A Thing - Demi Lovato & Joe Jonas

XOXO (Hugs & Kisses) - EXO K

You'll Always Find Your Way Back Home - Hannah Montana (Miley Cyrus)

Young Forever - The Ready Set

You're The Reason - Victoria Justice

Nan Niga Jowa (I Like You) - GOT7

Two Moons - EXO M ft Key (SHINee)

Janus - Boyfriend

Overdose - EXO

Cupid - Girl's Day

Peter Pan - EXO

Haru (A Day Without You) - S.M THE BALLAD (Kim Jongdae & Kim Jonghyun)

Haruman (Just One Day) - BTS (Bangtan Boys)

Uki Uki Midnight - BABYMETAL

Doki Doki Morning - BABYMETAL

Megitsune - BABYMETAL

Don't Go - EXO M

THE END FOR REALZ <3