Bear with my grammar errors, this is un-betaed and ugh, i'm sure there some typos but try to enjoy. I'll make better poster later!! Comment ^__^

**

I sat on my toilet lid and stared the stick in my hand. If we would look four years back, I would never, not even in my wildest dreams wouldn't have thought that I, normal European girl would sit here today. It was only three years ago when me and my friend moved to Seoul, to live our Korean dream. Others have American dream, we had this. And until this day, everything had been the way we planned. Even better actually. We had rented a beautiful apartment, we both had amazing jobs and my opinion is that I'm now more happy than I was ever in Europe.

 

So I was sitting in my bathroom, holding my stomach and squeezing pregnancy test in my right hand. Positive, pregnancy test. Shocked gasp escaped from my lips and I squeezed my eyes shut like the fact that I couldn't see the result would change it. However, it didn't and sooner or later I would have to deal with it when I would swell three size bigger than I was now. What the hell I'm going to say to everyone, "Oh hey, yeah I got knocked up, I'm fine guys. Seriously." 

 

The most important, what I am going to say to Taemin. Yes, Lee Taemin, the maknae of SHINee who everyone loves. Now it's not the right time start to tell story about how we met and fell in love. It's so cliche and surreal thing anyways, even today it feels weird to think that Taemin is my boyfriend. 

 

I was dead scared right now and I couldn't quite decide that was I happy or not. I know Hanna will exited about the whole thing, I know how she would wan't to be the godmother. Of course she will be, if I even will keep the baby. Baby. Oh my god, I'm going to have a baby. Lee Taemin's child. I was scared that he would leave me as soon I will tell him the news. He would pack his clothes and leave, never speak to me again and I would have to raise the baby without a father. I was scared that if the fans will find out about it, I will risk our baby's safety. Fangirls are really capricious sometimes. There was so many negative thoughts in my head that I couldn't think clear. I was so deep in my thoughts that I didn't even hear our front door open and thud close.

 

"Enni? Are you home?" I heard my best friend shout, which made me snap. . I threw the test into trash bin and threw some toiletpaper on top of it and looked into mirror. I looked horrified, which I actually was right now. "I'm here" I said with small voice and unlocked the bathroom door. Hanna was hanging her jacket on coat hanger and turned to look at me smiling. "Guess what. Kibum suggested that we would move together, that we would rent our own apartment. Taemin is practically living here already so he could move officially here. Isn't it great idea?" Hanna was spazzing and walked into kitchen, still waffle about something how he and Kibum both wanted purple bedroom walls.

 

"Yeah... Awesome." I said sluggishly which caught my best friends attention. "Why aren't you exited? Is everything okay with you and Taem? He seemed normal today when I went to see Kibum into their practice." Hanna asked and looked me worriedly. "Yes and no." I said and slumped down on our kitchen chair, burying my face into my hands. "Tell me, Boo" I was almost forgot our silly nicknames what we gave each others like seven years ago. Hanna kneeled in front of me and looked me with her green eyes, which were full of understanding. She wasn't my best friend for nothing, this girl was something special. She always understood me perfectly, even if I lost the words. We had some kind of unspoken connection between us. And my issues with Taemin were usually solved in ten minutes because she was practially an expert in those things already. She and Kibum have had more than millions of fights, from color of Kibum's underwear to his jealosy. Hanna was very sensitive when I came to Kibum, and no matter how much they fighted over the smallest things, nothing could tear them apart. So she was my relationship counselor.

 

"Doo, I'm pregnant." I said and one single tear dropped to my cheek. Hanna's jaw literally dropped and her eyes widened. "What?! When, but how. I mean. That's great!" she said happily, but then notice my moodiness and tears. "Don't worry, I'm sure Taem will be exited. Don't be afraid." She knew exactly why I was being like this. She wiped my tears away and pulled me up. "Come on, let's go shopping baby clothes!" Dear god this girl. I couldn't help but giggle when she pulled me to vestibule and threw my jacket on me.

 

**

 

I have had great day with Hanna, we went to shop, not baby clothes but everything nice to ourselves. I swear Kibum is brainwashing her to spend more and more money everyday. And after that we went to eat some delicious seafood noodle. I was so happy that I had forgot why Hanna was working so hard to keep me happy all the time, until she had to bid goodbyes, in front of our apartment. "I promised Kibum that I would spend the evening with him and stay the night as well, you know that it's easier to me go to work from his place." she said and watched me carefully. "Are you sure you'll be okay by yourself? I can call him and cancel if you want me to." she was already pulling her phone from her brand new Louis Vuitton bag but I stopped her. "Doo, I'm twenty-five. If I can't handle myself, you should be more worried than you are now." and laughed while pushing her toward the metro station. "Go, I'll be fine." and turned to go inside after hugging her. 

 

The truth is that I could use a company but maybe it was better to be alone and think about this whole situation. I had made a small nest into our living room. Two blankets, four pillows, pajamas and huge bowl of ice cream. Works every time when I'm sad or distracted about something. Though nothing hasn't been this big before. I wasn't quite sure if anything could be bigger than this, not everyday inside of you will be a small, tiny embryo. Small baby. I pressed my palm against my flat stomach, moving it like I could feel the baby. Of course I couldn't but I liked to play with the thought. As I sat on our living room floor, I felt small sparkles of happiness in my chest. I'm going to a mother. Me and Taemin are having a baby, this was huge. I almost started to cry as I thought about it again, there was a new life beginning inside of me and I wouldn't want that child to be anyone elses than his. He was the love of my life, with or without a child. 

 

My thoughts were rudely interrupted by my phone. I reached over to see the caller ID, and I wasn't suprised to see "Yeobo ?~" on my screen. I pressed answer button and chirped "Yoboseyo?".

"Hey jagi, are you home? I'm in subway on my way to see you. I have that chicken you love." I heard my boyfriend sang in line and my face melted on smile. He was always so thoughtful. We chatted for a while and I heard him get off of the subway, ending our call. He would be here in five minutes anyway. 

 

Not too long, I heard key's turn in our lock and lazily got up to see him open the door. He looked angelic, like always. He had white simple t-shirt, light blue ripped jeans and grey hoodie and even he was so casually dressed, I felt myself so... boring in front of him. But apparently it didn't bother himself because he stepped inside, kicking his shoes off and put his bag down, turning toward me. We hadn't seen each others for week, because they had been in China, promoting their new album and having a SHINee World Concert. 

 

With few steps he was in front of me, looking down, straight into my eyes. He was so tall nowdays, he had always been taller than me but that wasn't a suprise, even Jonghyun was taller than me. But he had grow up more, at least it felt like it. Without a word, he leaned in and gave me one of those leg-melting kisses. He carefully, sweetly nibbled my bottom lip, making me gasp slightly. I didn't even notice that we were completely wrapped around each others, I was too drowned into his kiss. If I only could stop time here. He should be away more long times if reunions were like this.

 

After few minutes we pulled away, our breathes little bit heavy. He looked me smiling and whispered those words I was starving to hear, "I missed you jagiya. I thought about you everyday." I just closed my eyes and gave him small peck on top of his nose. He knew I missed him too, I always did. We both were awful when it came to big distance. He would always call me when their schedules were over or even between them and I tried to answer if I wasn't too busy with work. 

 

Again the thought about what I needed to tell him, haunted me inside on my head. How am I ever going to survive this alive. "Tae, sit down. I have something to tell you." I said with serious face. He was happily talking about something funny that happen to Minho in Nanjing airport but shut up immediately when we saw how serious I was. "What is it? Has something happen while I was away?" he asked right away but sat down into our leather couch. "Kind of." I said and felt huge lump in my throat. Maybe I'll choke to death before I get to tell him. Taemin looked suspicious and scared, "you're not leaving me, right? Right?" He said little bit raised voice. I didn't even got to say anything when he grabbed my hands and pressed them into his chest, "Don't leave me, jagi. I need you." He said with teary eyes and I felt how the words drained down to my throat, refusing to come out. 

 

Words didn't come out, so I just looked my hands which were still pressed against his chest. "I-I, Taemin, I'm not leaving you. But you might leave me after you hear this..." I said and closed my eyes. Taemin removed his grip around my wrists and I let my hands fall down. I had never seen Taemin this scared. I didn't even want to know what kind of horrible thoughts were running in his head right now. 

 

"Remember that I love you, no matter what. Okay?" I wanted to make sure to him that this child wouldn't change anything. If it would, it would just make me love him even more. "Enni. Just say it already." he said in firm voice, even though I could tell he didn't want to hear. He rarely used my name, he loved to call me names like jagiya or cupcake. Basic Taemin. So this was serious business, when he used it. 

 

"I'm pregnant." I said and squeezed my eyes shut. There was only a silence. Nothing more was heard that our breaths and my crazily beating heart. My blood was rushing and I couldn't open my eyes. I felt how the weight next to me vanished as Taemin stood up. I didn't have to even open my eyes to know that he was walking towards the door, and few moments later I heard him slam it shut.

 

This was it. I'm screwed. I felt the tears burn behind my eyelids and just let myself crash. I don't know how many minutes I cried nonstop or how many panic call I made to Hanna, but this pain didn't stop inside of me. Taemin hates me, he didn't want me. He didn't want our child or to have a family with me. I only knew that I didn't know what to do.

 

**

 

About an hour later I heard key's turn in our lock again and got up, ready to run into Hanna's comforting arms. But the person who stood in our doorway wasn't my best friend. It was none other than Lee Taemin, who hour ago ran out from that very same door. In his hand he had small paper bag and he was panting like crazy.

 

"Have you cried?" he asked worriedly and rushed over. I just let out small gasp and cried. "I though you didn't want me anymore." and felt Taemin's hands around me. "Babo-ya. I went get your favorite chocolate cake. They say pregnant woman are craving for chocolate." and with that he picked me up and carried me to my bed. He bend his head down and gave me ten small kisses around my face. "I love you, I would never leave you. Especially when we are having a child." I wanted to cry from happiness when he lifted my shirt and pressed big kiss on my stomach, "Hey baby, it's daddy here".

 

Taemin continued to talk to my stomach and that was the moment when I knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be.

**

 

WHATTA YA THINK PEOPLE?