Luhan works as a freelance. He loves his job although his temper rises now and then due to the stress,he enjoys it,like he enjoys his coffee; a hot black coffee with no tint of sweetness or whatsoever in it. So he heads to his favourite coffee shop known for it's exquisite taste,or for it's quite cheap price - luhan refused to know.

The pressure of his job was starting to build up as he was the one who needs to look for clients,not like those different and normal jobs who have it easy,or so luhan thought. Maybe all luhan needs is just his drink,so he stands and waits in line feeling somewhat annoyed and upset. Half an hour passed and the line just moved halfway. One of luhan's flaws are his impatience,he oftens feel the urge to kill everyone who disturbs his break time or probably worse,his sleep. Luhan wanted to cut in line,but he knows himself that it was just plain immature and low- even for a person like him.

An hour passed,yet luhan's drink is still not in his hands so he spinned on his heels and tried to leave the small and crowded shop but was stopped abruptly in his tracks as a substance was felt on his torso.

"Im so sorry!" a man with slightly brown hair-or blonde,luhan couldnt examine properly as he was too busy being preoccupied with the thought of stripping out of his clothes. The stranger kept bowing repeatedly and tried to wipe the stain on luhan's now crippled-and-stained-long-sleeved-shirt with his napkin. Luhan sighed; the shirt was brand new and he didnt like the idea of doing laundry after an exhausting day like this.

"Its fine. I can do it myself" luhan muttered as he grabbed ahold of the napkin and vigorously wiped off the remaining stain. He cursed under his breath,feeling the hot liquid running down his now wet torso. The brown haired man just smiled and offered to help yet again.

Luhan felt his heart throbbing and his cheeks reddening because of the warmness that came from the stranger's hand. It could've been felt through his soaked shirt. Only then did luhan looked up from his shirt and slightly more upper, as the man was more taller than him,and met eyes with the most beautiful human being he ever saw. Luhan felt his knees weaken at the beautiful sight of the stranger.

He had a sharp chin,perfect sculpted jawline,broad shoulders and a lean figure; everything a man could've wished for and everything a woman would have craved for. Luhan was astonished-mouth gaping ever since he saw the man.

"Can you stop staring? It makes me uncomfortable" the stranger chuckled.

Luhan was taken aback but calmly regained his posture nonetheless.

"I-i wasnt" luhan cursed again for the umpteenth time that day. Not only was he caught staring, he even stuttered infront of the man. "Im luhan by the way and i would like to know yo-" luhan continued but the stranger completely cutted his sentence with "im sorry ive got to go" and dashed towards the door and left luhan feeling utterly stunned and confused while holding the stranger's napkin.

-

"So today i just lost a few of my clients, didnt get my coffee and my shirt is now stained" luhan muttered to himself. Maybe he should just head home,that seemed to be the most relevant thing to do now. As he walked through the familiar route back home,he felt something amiss. The street lamps that filled the lonely road were flickering,which is absolutely strange and rare. "Maybe the electricity is running out" luhan laughed hysterically at his own joke; because electricity doesnt run. "Unless they're on a marathon" and luhan bursted laughing at his own joke,yet again.

After what seemed like hours of luhan laughing, he felt somewhat better. So he continued his journey back home. Suddenly he felt some droplets against his skin. The droplets were cold, as if the weather wasn't cold enough. Luhan sighed again.

"Great now its raining. What else could go wrong" today was not such a good day for luhan. Home was still a mile far and the rain is getting heavier by the second. Luhan atleast needed a shelter from the heavy downpour. He looked around and his eyes spotted some colourful lights near the dark alleys- maybe it was a local bar since many people could be seen in it. So he ran towards the bar with soaked clothes for some shelter.

The door opened with a slight noise. Luhan entered the bar,soaked from head to toe and shivered a little from the severe coldness. He made himself comfortable and sat in the most warmest spot, and the nearest place infront of the counter.

"May i help you?" that voice sounded awfully familiar so he glanced at the direction of the voice, and just to his luck, it's the same stranger that bumped into him at the coffee shop.

"You're luhan right? Im sorry earlier, i had to leave early since my shift was changed, it's all that brat, jongin's fault. If only he didnt waste some time with his so called boyfriend kyungsoo,none of this would happen" and he continued to mutter some incoherent words afterwards. Luhan didnt know why on earth is he explaining everything, maybe he was just talkative, apart from what he looks like that is. Or maybe he didnt want luhan to feel hurt and misunderstand his actions. Luhan blushed at his own thought. Just the thought of the man being concern about him made luhan feel butterflies.

"Oh sorry i spaced out and babbled about my life. I tend to do that sometimes"

'Well ' , luhan thought to himself. His imagination of the stranger caring for him just went down the drain in 0.5 seconds.

"Its fine. I enjoyed listening" luhan sworn he could've saw a blush crept over the stranger's cheeks but maybe he was just flustered- luhan refused to know incase his hopes get destroyed again.

"But i didnt get your name though?" luhan asked hopefully.

"Sehun. Oh Sehun" and luhan just genuinely smiled because his name is just as beautiful as the person infront of him.

-

First date,first kiss, first time of making love on the bed,counter,dining table, both of them experienced it without a single tint of regret, enjoying every moment spent together to its fullest. They were so close as if nothing in the world could separate them.

Sehun loved luhan so much he could fall asleep just by the reassurance that luhan is there, sleeping beside him. But he cuddles closer nonetheless as if luhan would leave if he lets go.

Luhan loved sehun so much he would pretend to sleep first so sehun would go to sleep right-after. After confirming that sehun is really sound asleep, he would whisper how much he loves sehun and kisses every part of his face before falling asleep himself.

Their days were filled with laughter,kisses and giggles,while their nights were filled with absolute lust and slight moans or more preferable groans. Since then, luhan was much more cheerful at work and his clients were many compared to the little amount he had before.

Tonight was just the same as usual- sehun falling asleep after luhan sleeps pretends to sleep and luhan admiring his lover beside him. He giggled and wiped some saliva on sehun's lower lips and placed a kiss afterwards. Luhan was soon engullfed in a sleep.

-

Luhan was in a room filled with nothing but lights-everything was white and just peaceful. Luhan freaked out because he was the only one there. He screamed his lover's name continuously, but there was no reply and the only sound that was heard were the echos of his frantic screams. Luhan dropped to his knees and sobbed against his palms- feeling lost. He suddenly felt someone tapping his shoulder, he was shocked- it was sehun, his lover. He cried in relief and dashed forward to hug sehun but his arms went through his lover, causing him to fall on what seemed like the floor- luhan didnt know as there was practically nothing in the room he was in. Luhan thought his eyes were fully dry because of the constant cries but he felt warm tears falling down his cheeks as sehun was getting further apart. Luhan ran ignoring the whipers that soon filled the room, he ran until no end, the only thing occupying his mind was-sehun,sehun and sehun. He needed sehun .

'You won't be able to chase sehun' a whisper was heard.

'He wasn't yours to begin with' the whispers were getting louder.

'Sehun isn't there'

'Sehun hates you'

'Sehun doesn't love you'

'He never did'

'Everything were just lies'

'Sehun doesn't care about you'

'There's no such thing called love in this world'

'Sehun is gone'

'He's gone' and luhan screamed in sorrow before falling into a black hole.

-

Luhan woke up afterwards. He sobbed again as the space on the bed beside him was empty. And the realisation of his tragic love life hit him like a ton of bricks. That his cheerful and happy self didnt exist anymore. That the old luhan died the moment sehun died in a dreadful accident because of a drunken driver. That the happy moments in his ed up life was taken away the moment sehun's life was taken. That he was the reason for sehun dying. That he should be the one that died. If only he didnt make sehun buy him coffee because he was tired of work. If only he insisted on going himself. If only he was the one who was killed mercilessly. If only he was the one dead. If only luhan died instead of sehun. If only he died. Luhan deserved to die.  

-

"Wake up honey" the person slowly opened his eyes to register what was happening. And there his lover was, smiling his angelic smile at him, looking absolutely beautiful as the sunlight kissed his pale and milky skin perfectly.

"Can you stop staring? It makes me uncomfortable" his lover said as he chuckled afterwards as they both shared a passionate kiss. The kiss slowly got intense as time passes by and soon feets were tangling,hips were colliding and fingers were collapsing against each other.

"Let's do it later. We have to go now" his lover said still smiling.

"I dont remember having any plans today. Let's just snuggle and watch some movies" the elder said.

"Let's go visit him. It's his death anniversary. Luhan's death anniversary" and for a moment sehun's smile faltered.

-

Luhan always liked his coffee bitter; because it reminds him of his life

Luhan smiled at the beautiful view from above, he was grateful because he was fast enough to save sehun from dying. He was grateful that he pushed sehun away and he was the one who got hit. He was grateful that he followed his intuition that something was indeed wrong and that he died instead of sehun. He was grateful that sehun took such a long time to recover and move on from his death. He was grateful that sehun had a hard time getting back up when he died. He was grateful that sehun seeked help from a psychiatrist because luhan leaving him was too hard to take in. He was grateful that sehun was too broken and fragile to function. He was grateful that sehun cries every night because he remembers their happy times together. He was grateful that sehun moved houses because luhan's scent was still lingering in every corner of their house. He was grateful that sehun slowly opened his heart once again. He was grateful that he could protect his lover from above, making sure he's safe and sound but he was more grateful that sehun moved on from him and married a beautiful man that was slightly tanner than him and lived a happy life.

-

Luhan was grateful- or so he thought.

Author's note :

I was actually really reluctant in writing this fic. but since my selu feels were getting out of hand, why not? lol i hope u enjoyed ^^ english is not my first language, so forgive me for my simple writing and grammatical errors or whatsoever :) comments are highly recommended since i like to know ur thoughts

-ciqin-